Other Side

by Rose, Isabella C.

  “We have no idea where this disease came from,” Hugh stated.

  “We don’t, but we also can’t rule out that we might be the only ones left,” I said sadly.

  “She is right, Hugh. We have to help. We would be no better than Roth if we condemned the ones infected to be left to die of whatever this is, they have,” Peggy Sue said.

  “I want to change my vote,” Gracie said. “I want to help my Pa, Ma, and Bailey. If she can help them. I will go with her to town.”

  Looking at Gracie, I wished I could be as brave as she was.

  “There is no need for you to go, Gracie,” Peggy Sue told her.

  “It’s not a problem, really. I was scared, but I am not scared anymore. I have you all as my family now too,” Gracie commented, waving her hand around the room.

  Tears threatened to spill from my eyes. How had we become a family in such a short time? We were not blood family—we had become one out of necessity, but one we had become. Buck surprised us all then by laughing, the biggest laugh I had ever heard.

  “Little one, you the darnedest thing. You are right. We are a family of survivors and I am proud to call you family.” Buck looked at her when he could stop laughing.

  Gracie had the biggest smile on her face.

  “Okay. That is settled. We will go for the bag. Who goes?” Hugh wondered aloud.

  I got a sense of who Hugh was. He was a micromanager. He was like me, in a way. He needed to work out the detail in fine print before it satisfied him.

  “I will go,” Buck quipped.

  “I will too,” Jaime added.

  “No, not you, Jaime. Not this time. I want you here with your mother and that man,” Hugh commanded, giving Jaime a stern look.

  His father was right. Jaime could keep the others safe with Roth still in the residence.

  “I will go too. I am the one who wants to go back for the bag in all fairness,” I said.

  “One more to shoot any zombies that get close,” Buck went on. “Peggy Sue baby?”

  Peggy looked at Gracie. She was growing fond of the kid from the loving way she looked at her.

  “No. I will go,” Hugh stated.

  “Are you sure, dear?” Annette hedged.

  “Yes. Buck is the best shot. I can drive better. I drove myself in New York traffic. I can handle some zombies. That leaves Violet to get the bag. The smaller the group to go, might be easier to avoid the zombies and less to worry about.” He glared me down.

  I nodded. I had not given up the lead, but somehow Hugh had slowly become the leader. I was not upset about him taking control. He had proved to be a clear head and detail-oriented. I would still keep a close eye on things, but with the medical supplies I would be too busy to lead. Too busy to make major decisions for the group. I stared at Hugh and nodded again. Giving my approval for him to take over. He gave me a head nod back. We had come to a mutual agreement without any words.

  “We leave at dawn. Now that that is settled. What have you whipped up in that kitchen for dessert?” Hugh asked the two youngest patrons of our family.

  “Oh, it's da best!” Connor said, rubbing his hands together.

  We all laughed at his mischievous gesture, and then Annette brought in a chocolate cake. Just like that the discussion of the zombies was tabled again. I was okay with it for now. I had a bag to get and samples to analyze.

  When dinner was over, I helped take the dishes into the kitchen with Brandi. We were used to cleaning up after meals. We had been tasked with cleaning duties most of our lives. My mother couldn't be bothered to do much cleaning. As we washed and dried, it felt familiar.

  “You ladies good with clean-up? I will get these kids ready for bed with Julia. The men have gone to feed Roth and discuss what to do with him,” Annette said setting dishes down on the island.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Brandi and I said in unison.

  Annette gave us a curious look, but left without asking us anything. It had been beat into us to respond with respect when we were spoken to. We worked in silence as I tried to work up the courage to ask Brandi about the movie and boys. Brandi stopped for a second, looking far off.

  “It's weird isn't it?” she said.

  “What?” I asked.

  “That he’s dead,” she said stoically. “I never thought I would live to see the day. I worried so much being away at school that I would get a call you were the one dead.”

  I turned to her, placing a damp hand on her shoulder. “I worried the same thing about you and Jessica.” Her name came out as a whisper.

  “I never worried about her. I should have, but he loved her. You were the one he hated most; you know. When he would beat me, he would tell me how he would kill you. I think it was because he couldn't break you.” She smiled at me.

  I knew she was right. He had beaten both of us, but he had been harder on me. I had the broken bones. Brandi had bruises. She was right in a sense that he never broke me. He did almost at first, but when Jessica came along, I would spit the blood on his shoes or say something to piss him off more. The beatings would go on for hours. He could never break that little piece of me I kept just for me. I turned back to the dishes.

  “I know,” I told her, handing her a plate to dry.

  Brandi took the plate with a smile that didn't meet her eyes. Not broken, just damaged.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  As we finished wiping down the counters, and the kitchen was all clean, I turned to Brandi.

  “I need some boy advice,” I hedged.

  She slapped the hand towel down on the counter. “What do you need to know?” she asked, trying to hide her excitement.

  “Jaime asked me to watch a movie tonight and said I could pick the movie. The only movies I have ever seen are school movies. I have only seen I Am Legend in biology because they discussed the effects of human genetics. What should I ask to watch?” I confessed.

  “Let me ask you this first. Do you want to get close to Jaime tonight or just be cool?” Brandi specified.

  What did I want? I wanted to get close to Jaime deep down, but that would only complicate things when I told him no. Better to stay on the safe side.

  “Cool,” I said.

  “Okay, a movie he can geek out to. Star Wars is out since that has a love triangle. Die Hard is a good option because it has a lot of explosions,” she suggested.

  “No explosions. Something tamer. I have had enough excitement with explosions,” I said.

  “True. Hmm. Let me think.” She tapped her mouth. “Zombie movies are definitely out too,” she said.

  We both looked at each other and laughed.

  “A comedy is the safest bet. Ghostbusters. The older version,” she said at last.

  “You sure, Ghostbusters?” I said, unsure of the title. “It’s a friend kind of movie?” I pushed.

  “Friends? I thought you liked Jaime?” she looked confused.

  “I do. It’s just with everything that is going on. It’s not the best time to think about a relationship. Look how many times we almost got killed because I was reckless,” I complained.

  She took me by the shoulders, making me face her. “Violet. We talked about this.” She tapped my head. “Get out of there. We are not guaranteed to live any longer in a normal world. You have to be happy when you can. What do you feel in here?” She tapped my chest.

  “I don’t know,” I confessed.

  “What don't you know?” Do you get all tingly in your tummy when you're around him?” she pushed.

  “I do. I am not used to feelings,” I whispered.

  “Sit down.” She took a bar stool next to me.

  I did the same.

  “Now, look. When I left for college, it terrified me. I had never kissed a boy. I wanted to only focus on my schoolwork. Get a good job and never look back. The only problem was, you were there. My roommate at the dorm dragged me out one night. She did me a favor. I was still cautious about frat parties. They give you this whole class on college life and p
arties. You have to watch out for people putting stuff in your drinks and all that. I ended up in a corner alone until this guy from my lit class came over to talk to me. We ended up talking most of the night. I was lucky. He was sweet. We went out a few times. Nothing came of it. I was still terrified ‘he’ would come to school and see me out with a boy. We became friends. He was my first kiss. I met another guy at lunch. Now, that guy became my boyfriend. He just got me in all the ways no one else did. He went slowly with me. He knew I had a not-so-good past. He even wanted to come home with me when I came back. I told him no. We got into a huge fight over it. In the end he saw me off. I am by far no expert. What I did learn is to not be afraid to feel. I’m not saying to go have sex with Jaime. I would hope you would wait. I am waiting until marriage myself, which I hope you will do too. My point is, we only live once. If you have feelings for him, don't run away and hide in your head. Get to know him. Like I did with the guy at the party. You may find a friend in the end or more. Just don't run.”

  I couldn't stop staring at her. I hadn’t known any of this. That she had found someone special. Maybe she was right. Maybe I was in my head too much.

  “You deserve to be happy, Vi.” She got up and walked out.

  My mind was a whirl of activity. I had been so bent on denying Jaime, I had never given any thought to saying yes.

  As I walked to the basement to meet Jaime, I was a mess. My hands were sweaty, and my pulse was racing. I found Jaime bending down to the DVD player. He stood when I entered.

  “I didn't think you would come,” he smirked.

  “I didn't either,” I admitted.

  “I am glad you did.” He sat on the couch.

  I took the other end of the couch as far away from him as possible. I rubbed my hands on my jeans.

  “Did you pick a movie?”

  Uh, what was it? “Ghost Wars. Or was it Die Busters?” I whispered.

  “Wait, wait. Tell me you have seen Ghostbusters or Die Hard?” he asked looking at me shocked.

  I was found out. I admitted my secret. “I have not.”

  “How is that possible? They are classic movies and everyone has seen at least one. Any others you haven’t seen?” he questioned.

  “Star Wars?” I listed.

  “No freaking way!” He jumped up to stand in front of the TV. “I cannot believe this! Well, we will binge a few movies tonight! Have you ever even seen a movie?” He looked quizzically at me.

  “Not really,” I said shyly.

  “You got to be kidding! You’re a mystery, Violet Montez.” He sat down in the middle of the couch and picked up the remote, starting the first of the three movies.

  Jaime and I watched the first movie without any interruptions. Roth who was down the hall didn’t make a sound. I had to admit I liked the first movie. Star Wars was an old movie, but the concept was well thought out. I liked Luke Skywalker. He reminded me of myself. He was alone in the world.

  “What did you think? Jaime looked at me with anticipation.

  “It was good,” I said.

  “Good? Just good? Star Wars is the epitome of all other movies that came after it. Oh, I see I must educate you on the ways of the force!” Jaime joked. “Which one next?” he asked holding up two movies.

  “Ghostbusters! That is my favorite movie!” Tiffany cried from the stairs, startling me.

  We had been in a bubble of peace for a few hours. Now here came Tiffany in a t-shirt and really short shorts. She had perfectly tanned legs.

  “Ghostbusters it is,” Jaime announced.

  How could he not see she wanted his attention wearing hardly anything? I didn’t want to stay, but forced myself to relax. The theater room had a popcorn maker. I heard that popcorn was the thing you ate when you went to the movie theater. As Tiffany sat down on the couch between Jaime and me, I got up.

  “Popcorn anyone?” I said over my shoulder heading to the machine.

  “Oh, you’re such a little helper, Violet. I would love some, please. Not a lot of salt or butter, if you don't mind,” Tiffany ordered.

  “I’ll help you,” Jaime offered.

  “I’m sure Violet is capable of making popcorn on her own,” Tiffany said as she got up to entwine her arms with Jaime pulling him to the couch.

  Ugh. I’d rather be anywhere but here. Even out killing zombies. I made it to the popcorn maker. It shouldn't be too hard to figure it out—I got an A in Teen Living, that was pretty much Home Economics with a socially correct name. The stand next to the popcorn maker had the seeds and buckets. I filled the hopper and turned it on.

  “I can see the TV from here, you can play it,” I spoke loudly. The quicker the movie was over, the quicker I could escape.

  I leaned on the counter, waiting for the popcorn to pop. The movie opened with a scientist, who was working on an experiment to investigate ghosts. I tried to ignore how Tiffany snuggled up to Jaime, who was now sitting in the middle. I turned back to look at the popcorn maker. I could see the lid starting to lift with the popcorn ready to fall. I placed three cups on the counter. Turning back. Tiffany was on top of Jaime kissing him. I saw red. He said he wanted me to be his girlfriend, and here he was kissing his ex. I turned and walked out. I made it to the stairs leading up to the second level before Jaime called me.

  “Violet, wait. It’s not what you think,” he said grabbing my arm.

  “It’s none of my business what you do with Tiffany or anyone for that matter,” I snipped.

  He stood face to face with me as I stood on the first step. His brown eyes were reflected by the light that was lit behind me. I hated myself for finding him attractive still.

  “It is your business!” he argued. “I want you, not her.”

  “Why do you want her? She so plain,” Tiffany’s voice came from behind Jaime.

  I jerked my arm out of his grasp. He let me go.

  His face became strained as he said, “Tiffany, I told you I’d be right back. Can you please go back downstairs? I will talk to you in a minute.”

  “No, I will not!” She stomped her foot.

  I had enough. “The answer is no. He is all yours, Tiffany.”

  Her name felt rancid on my tongue. I turned and ran up the stairs, not stopping until I was in my room with the door locked. The tears spilled out before I knew what was happening. I walked to the bed, putting my head in a pillow, so no one would hear my sobs.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Lying there as the tears spilled and my heart broke, I had a revelation. I sat up, wiping my face. Why was I crying over a boy? No longer would I let a man hurt me. I steeled my heart.

  If I can survive a zombie apocalypse, I can survive this, I told myself.

  Yes, I had feelings. I let myself acknowledge that. I didn’t have to let my emotions rule me. I had lived without them before. I would not go back to being emotionless, but I would stop feeling for Jaime. I liked who I was becoming. I got up off the bed, looking at the clock. It was still early. I went to the door and opened it to find Jaime sitting on the floor against the wall.

  “Violet, please hear me out,” he said getting up.

  “Jaime, it’s okay. You owe me nothing. My decision was no before tonight. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I would like to think we are friends and I do not want to lose your friendship, but I understand if you don't want to talk to me,” I said firmly.

  He looked sad. “You were going to tell me no before tonight?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why did you come tonight then?” he inquired.

  I wanted to be honest with him. “I came because I like you. I wanted to see what it was like to be a normal teen for once. But I’m not normal. This would never work because my feelings would impede our safety. We have to think about the others.”

  “So, you like me, but now you don't. Is it because Tiffany forced herself on me, kissing me, and I didn’t kiss her back? We have been safe; we will continue to be safe. Don’t use that as an excuse.”

  I hated my
self for the jolt of excitement that went through me at his confession. I tapped it down. Steel.

  “Do we really need to go into details? My answer is still no,” I said.

  “I see. I am sorry that I inconvenienced your plans,” he said angrily, walking away.

  Damn him! Why did he have to make me feel guilty when I did nothing wrong? I closed my door and went down to the control room where I found Buck cleaning guns.

  “Mind if I join you?” I said from the doorway.

  He pushed a chair out for me and handed me a gun. I knew how to clean a gun, so I went to work taking it apart. Buck and I worked without speaking. By the time we were done my neck was aching. I wanted a hot shower and to go to bed. Buck closed up the control room, following me to the first landing.

  “Good night,” I said.

  Buck tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to find him with his arms open. I was hesitant. He pulled me into a bear hug, and then he let me go. I didn’t know I needed it until he gave me one.

  “It’s okay to be human,” he said.

  I looked up to his tall height.

  “I used to be like you. Quiet. Reserved. Held myself away from everyone,” he started. “Then I met Peggy Sue. She changed my life. For the better. Yes, I could get hurt or she could. My life would be empty without her. Don’t make my mistake of letting life go by without love.” He patted my head. “Good night.”

  I stood there thinking of his words. Brandi had said something similar. To hear it from Buck. Someone whom I had respect for meant more. He was older and had more experience in life. I would file that away for now. I had to worry about tomorrow first. I walked up to my room, falling asleep quickly.

  I woke early the next morning. I turned on my side, not wanting to get out of bed. Sleeping in was not something I had the luxury of doing before. I closed my eyes, trying to go back to sleep. My mind went over the night’s events. Buck’s words came back to me. I tossed and turned, finally opening my eyes and throwing back the blanket off to get up. I couldn't sleep any longer. Today I would get the samples. Having some kind of clue as to what was happening to people pushed all other thoughts out of my mind. I dressed and strapped on the knife Peggy Sue had given me. I made my way downstairs. Buck and Hugh were at the kitchen counter. Peggy Sue came in after me, yawning.