Masked Desires (Unmasking Prometheus, #3)

by Bold, Diana

  “Oh, Morgan,” she said softly, with a shake of her head. “You’ve never been out of my good graces. But surely you can see that I don’t belong here.”

  “No,” he said firmly. “I don’t see that at all. In fact, everything I’ve seen tonight only convinces me that you do. My family loves you.”

  She bit her lip, looking unconvinced, and this evidence of her vulnerability broke his heart. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel even worse about things between them. He’d never wanted to take her in his arms more.

  “Do you want to leave?” he asked quietly. “Because if you do, I’ll take you out of here right now. We can go wherever you want and whenever you want. Just say the word.”

  “I don’t want to leave.” She laughed, and the tension between them broke. “I love your family, too. They’ve become my friends. All of them. And I am honored to be here tonight. This is a treat I never thought I’d have. Thank you for thinking of this, Morgan. I really do appreciate it. Forgive my anxiety.”

  “There’s nothing to forgive,” he assured her. “Just let me know if you change your mind, if anything at all feels too overwhelming.”

  “I will,” she said, and this time, her smile seemed genuine.

  Serenity joined them again, her green eyes troubled. “Is everything all right?” she asked Fiona. “You seem troubled.”

  “Everything is fine,” Fiona said, touching her arm lightly. “Thank you so much for inviting me, Serenity.”

  Serenity smiled in relief. “We are thrilled to have you. Morgan has been like a new man since he’s been spending time at Brookhaven.”

  Morgan shifted uncomfortably to be talked about in such a manner, but Fiona just laughed. “He’s been doing such marvelous murals on the children’s walls. You’ll have to come by and see them.”

  Serenity raised a brow. “Murals? I had no idea.”

  The idea of his family knowing about his art still made him a bit nervous, but Serenity actually seemed interested, and he realized that the time for hiding his passion had passed. “I’m enjoying it immensely. The children seem to like it as well.”

  Winters was dead, and he finally realized that no one who loved him would ever mock him for pursuing his passions. Perhaps even Anne would have understood. He should have taken that chance instead of hurting her with his omission.

  “That’s an understatement,” Fiona said, giving him a fond look. “The children have never been around such beauty. And to have it in their very own rooms, a piece of art created just for them? Words can’t express how much it has meant to them... and to me.”

  He held her gaze, pleasure flooding through him. Her words filled some of the cracks that had been created in him long ago, and he felt truly seen for perhaps the first time in his life. “That means the world to me,” he said softly.

  Serenity cleared her throat. “Well... I don’t think I’m needed here at all.”

  As she wandered away, they shared a smile. He felt suddenly part of something, and he wanted very much to know if she felt the same. “Fiona... I don’t know exactly what I said the other night that caused you to send me away, but whatever it was... I’m sorry. Please, can you give me another chance to be your friend? To be more than your friend?”

  She shifted uneasily. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just let my own doubts rear their ugly heads. When you started asking me about Prometheus again, I allowed myself to think that perhaps that was the only reason why you’d come, the only reason you were saying such sweet things.”

  Relief flooded through him. “I no longer care about Prometheus’s identity. If you don’t want to tell me, then you don’t have to. I am merely grateful that he brought us together.”

  “Truly?” Her eyes flooded with what seemed to be happy tears.

  “Truly.” He reached out and tentatively took her hand. “It can’t have escaped your attention that I am wild about you, Fiona. I don’t know where this thing between us is going, but I definitely want it to go somewhere. May I court you?”

  “Court me?” Her eyes widened with surprise and perhaps fear. “You can’t be serious.”

  Frustration filled him, ruining what he’d hoped would be a beautiful moment. “I just told you that I was,” he chided. “Please, Fiona, just give me a chance.”

  She bit her lip, still looking troubled. Her gaze shifted to take in the rest of the group, all of whom had stopped talking and were staring at them without any shame whatsoever. “What does your family think?”

  “They are all perfectly thrilled with the notion,” he told her quietly. “Not that it matters to me in the least.”

  “It matters to you,” she said with a small shake of her head. “You need your brothers, and they need you.”

  He sighed, scrubbing his hand over his face. “I need you, too. That’s what I’ve been trying to say.”

  At last, she gave him a small smile. “I need you, too, Morgan. Let’s give it a try.”

  Morgan turned toward the room. “She said I could court her,” he announced triumphantly, since his family wasn’t even pretending that they weren’t listening. “We’re going to give it a try.”

  A collective cheer went up in the room, and Morgan realized that the bubble of emotion that had risen in his chest was happiness.

  Chapter Twelve

  The rest of the evening passed in a blur of fine drink, food, and conversation. Through it all, Morgan stayed by Fiona’s side, his strong male presence and companionship both strange and welcome. She still couldn’t believe that he’d asked if he could court her. The whole idea seemed positively ludicrous, but she hadn’t had the heart to tell him no. Not in front of his family.

  When they next found themselves alone, she had a thousand questions for him. How would a marriage between them look? What would his children think about her as their new mother? Would he expect her to leave Brookhaven?

  Will he care that I can’t have children of my own?

  And even if he had satisfactory answers to all of that, she still couldn’t imagine a world where a woman like herself, one who had been sold to the highest bidder, just like the poor children she took in, would be allowed to marry a man whose brother was an earl.

  If anyone were to find out about her background, he would be absolutely shunned.

  She knew he’d just say that his brothers had weathered the storms of their scandalous marriages all right, but she was nothing like Serenity and Vanessa. They managed to fit into this world effortlessly. She spent the entire meal terrified she’d use the wrong fork, that her lack of education was showing, that her dress was too gaudy.

  But oh, what a beautiful fantasy it all was. The clink of silver and crystal, the warmth of the earl’s beautiful home, the lovely company. She’d long ago convinced herself that Brookhaven was enough, that the children were the only family she’d ever need, but tonight had shown her that was a lie. She wanted what Morgan had offered her. She wanted it desperately.

  After dinner, when the men and women would normally have separated for drinks and conversation, the earl smiled at her and Morgan instead. “I sense the two of you have much to discuss. Why don’t you take the next hour or so to sort things out in private in the music room?”

  Morgan’s look of relief mirrored what she was feeling though she knew this was all highly irregular and improper. “Thank you, Lucien. You’re absolutely right.”

  Taking Fiona’s hand, Morgan led her down the hall to a small room where a fire burned merrily in the fireplace. The room held a pianoforte and a harp, and several other instruments she couldn’t even name. Ignoring all of them, he pulled her to a small sitting area near the fire, and she gratefully took a seat on a small sofa.

  He sat beside her, so close that their thighs touched, and stared into her eyes. “I thought we’d never have a moment alone.”

  She laughed. “Me either. It was all so overwhelming.”

  He frowned. “The last thing I wanted was to make you feel uncomfortable.”


  “They were all fine,” she hastened to reassure him. “They made me feel at home the best they could. It’s only that this place...” She waved helplessly at their surroundings. “It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. It’s beautiful but so grand. I can’t imagine ever actually living in a home like this.”

  “My house is much cozier,” he told her, but she doubted that his version of cozy and hers were the same.

  “That’s just it,” she said miserably. “I could never leave Brookhaven, Morgan. Surely, you know that.”

  “We could hire someone else to run it,” he reasoned. “You could still be there every day if you wanted, but you deserve to have a life of your own. You deserve a family of your own as well.”

  She bit her lip. “I can’t have children.” Just saying the words made her shudder, made too many horrifying memories of the man who’d beaten her within an inch of her life come flooding back. She didn’t even realize she was crying until Morgan leaned forward and caught one of her tears with his fingertip.

  “Oh, Morgan. You deserve better than a woman who is... broken.”

  He made a soft, wordless sound of sympathy and gathered her into his arms, holding her tightly and smoothing her hair with his hand. “I’m so sorry, darling. But I don’t care about that. You can be a mother to my children, if you like, and the children of Brookhaven will always belong to you, whether you live there or not.”

  She drew in a deep, shuddering breath, stunned by his words, amazed that he hadn’t made her explain. Instead, he’d offered her something she’d never even dared to hope for.

  The possibility of being Samuel, Hannah, and Felicity’s mother filled her with something she couldn’t even name. Although she thought of the children of Brookhaven as her own, she wasn’t an actual mother to them, but perhaps she really could be with Morgan’s children. She already loved them dearly. And the idea of occasionally having a break from Brookhaven, of not having her every single moment taken up with the many duties and demands... It was so dreadfully tempting.

  But she knew in her heart that she could never trust anyone else to care for the children as she did, and the thought of leaving it all in the hands of someone else made her tremble. It would be incredibly selfish, and she’d been living for everyone else for so long she couldn’t even begin to imagine doing anything else.

  “I don’t know,” she finally managed. “This is all so much to think about. Can you give me a little time?”

  “Of course,” he murmured, pressing his lips against her temple. “You can take all the time you need. But in the meantime, I hope you’ll still allow me to take you on a few outings, to spend some more time with me in settings other than our work together at Brookhaven. I want us to get to know each other deeply, to explore these feelings between us and see what we can make of them.”

  How could she resist such a seductive plea? “All right,” she whispered. “I would like that, too.”

  “No more pushing me away?” he asked, a slight bit of mischief in his eyes.

  She supposed it was no use pretending that she hadn’t been doing exactly that. “No more pushing you away,” she promised.

  Unmistakable relief filled his eyes. “Would you be all right with sealing our new understanding with a kiss?”

  Her pulse accelerated, and the passion that had been simmering between them since they met roared back to life. After everything she’d been through in her life, she’d never expected to feel this, and although it still terrified her, she had to admit she was as eager as he to explore it. Perhaps that was due to the fact that she absolutely knew that if she were to tell him to stop, at any point, he would. He would never intentionally hurt her; of this, she was certain. She trusted him, and perhaps that was the most terrifying thing of all.

  “Yes,” she breathed, determined to push all the rest of it out of her mind for the moment. “Kiss me, Morgan.”

  His eyes flared, and then she was in his arms, his big solid body anchoring her, so warm and comforting as his mouth descended upon hers in the sweetest of kisses. For endless moments, they explored each other’s mouths with tenderness and restraint, but then, the passion intensified. She clung to him as the world swirled around her, and she became completely lost in the taste and feel of him.

  When his fingertips strayed to the bodice of her gown, she did not stop him, and when he slid his hand inside and cupped her bare breast, she moaned into his mouth, shocked by how good it felt.

  He broke the kiss and trailed his mouth down her jaw and throat, until his lips latched around her nipple, licking and kissing her tender flesh while her hands buried in his dark silky hair, anchoring him in place.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, looking up at her, his eyes hazy with desire. “I want you so much.”

  A sound in the hallway outside the slightly cracked door made her jump away, and the reality of their situation crashed back down upon her. “Your family is just down the hall,” she whispered, trying to right her clothes. “The last thing I want is for them to walk in on us like this.”

  He brushed her hands away and calmly tucked her back in her dress. “I wasn’t planning to take you here on the sofa at a dinner party,” he murmured. “I’m sorry the kiss got out of hand, but I meant it when I told you that my intentions are completely honorable.”

  She pressed a hand to her chest, trying to get her breathing back under control. “I just... I don’t want anyone to think that I’m...” She halted, the hateful words echoing in her head. Whore. Prostitute. Floozy.

  She had been all of those things. And in most people’s eyes, that’s all she ever would be. It didn’t matter how many children she saved or how well she managed Brookhaven. To the rarified society to which he belonged, she’d never be anything more than the titles assigned to her the day her father had sold her innocence to the bastard who’d taken it.

  Her eyes flooded once again with tears, and she swatted them angrily away. She’d become a complete watering pot lately.

  However much she wished to keep her secrets, she could never marry him without telling him the truth of her past. She was no blushing bride. There was no way she could ever pretend that she was.

  And quite honestly... she wasn’t even sure that she was capable of letting a man touch her intimately. Not even Morgan.

  It had been so long, but she couldn’t forget the pain and humiliation. She felt as though her relationship with Morgan was perfect the way it was, and she wasn’t at all certain she wanted to change that. She wanted him to remain her sweet friend who occasionally kissed her.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked softly, the care and concern in his eyes nearly her undoing. “No one is going to think anything. They all care about you, and they want only the best for us. I am sure all of them have sneaked away for a kiss at a dinner party before. The passion in their relationships is what I’ve most envied.”

  She knew he was probably right, but she still felt shattered in some way, as if she was about to crumble into a million pieces. Maybe she did just need a little time to think about everything, to come to terms with the thought that he was actually interested in her. “I don’t know,” she whispered again. “I’m just overwhelmed.”

  “As am I,” he admitted, pulling her back into his arms and hugging her tightly. “This thing between us is powerful. It’s also beautiful and right. Don’t you think?”

  “I do,” she agreed. “But that’s what scares me the most. I never expected to have something like this. I don’t deserve you, Morgan. I don’t deserve this life. If you only knew half of what I’ve been, what I’ve done...”

  He brushed a strand of hair from her eyes, and his own grew troubled, shadows she couldn’t imagine lurking behind them. “We all have demons inside of us, things we’re struggling to overcome.” He swallowed roughly, then shook his head. “I’m afraid there are things in my past that would horrify you, and I’m still trying to find the courage to tell you about my own... darkness.”


  She leaned into his palm, closing her eyes as she tried to fathom what sort of pain caused that roughness in his voice. She knew his father had died when he was young, but she couldn’t imagine what other calamity had befallen him. It seemed to her that he had led a charmed life. He’d certainly never gone hungry or been so cold that his fingertips had turned blue.

  But then she realized that just because he had not been poor did not mean that his life had been charmed. He’d had plenty of sorrow, had lost his father and his wife, apparently had a horrible relationship with his mother, and she had no right to judge him. She wished he’d tell her what he was talking about, but she didn’t want to push him. They’d had enough emotional upheaval for one night.

  “You don’t have to tell me anything until you’re ready,” she assured him.

  She hugged him once again, trying to show him without words just how much he meant to her. Maybe they really could figure this all out. Maybe she could become a wife and mother, the way she’d always wanted to. The thought of having Samuel, Hannah, and Felicity as her very own made her heart fuller than she’d ever imagined it could be.

  Finally, he pulled away with a rough laugh. “I suppose we should rejoin the others before they come looking for us.”

  She nodded, even though all she really wanted was to stay in this room with him all night. Her heart was so soothed when he was with her. But she knew enough about proper society to realize it just wasn’t done to spend so much time alone together, even if his family was willing to look the other way just a little bit.

  He helped her to her feet, then pulled her into his embrace once more, giving her another searing kiss. She melted into him, wishing his kiss could last forever.

  At last, they broke apart, both breathing a bit heavily, and he laughed again. “Ah, darling, you’re going to be the death of me.”

  She smiled shakily in return, still stunned that she had such an effect on him.

  He took her hand and led her back to the room where his family was congregated. They all welcomed them back, and Vanessa and Serenity smiled as they took in her flushed face. Though she knew they’d never say anything, they obviously knew something physical had happened between them and were happy about it.