At All Cost: A Mountain Man Romance

by Katerina Winters

  Jax grunted as he grabbed a pair of needle-nose pliers next to him. "Then let it rust and rot in that tree. If you want a knife, I will let you borrow one of mine."

  Looking back up quickly, she saw that he was still focused on his work, not looking at her.

  “You don’t have to…” she began softly.

  “But a knife isn’t really going to cut it in these woods,” he went on, grabbing another piece of wire before soldering it to the disassembled panel. "Tomorrow, we will practice using a rifle."

  "That really isn't necessary. I am fine just…"

  Looking up from his work, his dark eyes held hers in a silent test of wills. “Do you ever want the privilege to take a walk to the lake and back?”

  Alessia considered picking up one of the various pieces of equipment he had scattered across the table and throwing it at his face.

  Leaning back in her chair, she did her best to refrain from letting out a huff as she folded her arms. “Fine.”

  Checking the boil on her soup one last time, Alessia caught her reflection in the darkened kitchen window. With her hair wet and down from her shower, it hung freely down past her shoulders to her hips. The sound of the water running in the bathroom told her Jax was beginning his own shower. Sitting down on the couch, she began toweling off the excess water in her hair when the bathroom door burst open.

  Turning around on the sofa, Alessia's eyes went wide at the sight of a still wet and shirtless Jax rushing out of the bathroom, pulling up his jeans.

  “Wha…what’s wrong?” She managed to stammer out weakly, her eyes still unwillingly glued to the sight of dark hair peeking just above the groin area of his low-slung unzipped pants.

  Since her eyes never made it up to his face, Alessia could only determine his mood from his bare feet stomping across the floor to the front door.

  “My motion lights just came on,” snatching up his rifle by the door, Jax stepped barefoot into his nearby boots.

  Quickly, her mind raced to put the facts together from his statement. He must have been showering when he saw the lights come on through the shower window. Getting up from the couch, Alessia saw him grab the front door handle.

  “Jax, no,” gripping panic seized her heart at the thought of him going out into the dark.

  Running over to him, she stopped less than a foot away as he turned back to give her a hard, confused look.

  “Just stay inside, I will…” he began roughly.

  Nearly bouncing from one foot to another, Alessia shook her head. “No, stay inside,” she pleaded. “What if there’s something out there? What if it’s the bear from earlier?” Just thinking of all the possibilities of what could be waiting beyond that door made her breathing grow shallow.

  Giving her an exasperated look, Jax nodded. “Yeah and that’s exactly why I’m going out there, to chase off the friend you made and make sure he knows that this section of the forest is my territory.”

  Again, he turned back around toward the door with the intention of leaving. Grabbing his bare arm, Alessia dug her fingers desperately into the hard flesh of his bicep. She could feel the bulge of muscle tighten beneath her hand.

  “Please don’t go,” she begged. She could feel the desperation tightened her throat painfully, but she refused to cry. “Please, just stay in here with me.”

  As if fully realizing how much she was afraid, Jax's eyes widened for a second as he stared down at her. His skin felt like silken fire underneath her fingers, reminding her over and over again, she was still clutching on to his arm. But Alessia wouldn't let go. She ignored the alarms in the back of her head, reminding her this man was half-naked. And although she kept her eyes from roaming down his naked hard chest, she could still practically feel every taut muscle with every other sense of her body. Never was she more aware of her frumpy flannel pajamas than she was now.

  Lifting his hand, Alessia watched Jax’s midnight eyes follow the motion of his own hand as he gently snaked it under the fall of her hair near her cheek. Goosebumps rose across her flesh as she felt the radiating warmth from his hand drift past her neck as he lifted her hair back and over her shoulder before settling his hand on the round of her shoulder.

  “Go back in front of the heater, sit down and finish drying your hair,” his tone was even and gentle, giving her no clues as to what he was thinking. “When I come back, we will watch a movie.”

  Turning away from her, he walked through the door with his rifle.

  When he eventually came back in a few minutes later, Alessia was so relieved she felt immediately drained. Walking back inside, he told her he found nothing before walking back into the bathroom. She expected a lecture or, at worst, teasing regarding her earlier panic, but she was grateful he said nothing.

  Later that night, they ate their soup on the couch in front of the mounted flatscreen TV on the wall. Images flickered by on the screen, but Alessia could hardly pay any attention to them. The need to apologize was on the tip of her tongue. It was apparent to her now that in order to live out here, one had to be strong—a lot stronger than what she was being right now. For the past year, it felt like all she had been doing was running from her problems. Never running out to face them head-on like Jax did tonight. Maybe if she was stronger, she would have dealt with Gary more directly. Punched him, thrown hot water in his face, or just summon the courage to call the cops.

  Stealing a glance at his profile, she kept her mouth shut. She had to stop whining and being so weak in front of this man. From the moment Jax met her, he had been saving her one way or another. Alessia was starting to forget herself that she was more than just a victim. She was more than just a girl on the run and that she had so much more to offer this world than this current sad image.

  ~*~

  Jax felt her catlike eyes stare at the side of his face during the movie. There was a lingering tension floating in the air between them as she sat there noticeably lost in her thoughts. No one should be that easy to read, he thought as he pretended to focus on the movie. He wasn’t sure what was on her mind tonight but he was crystal clear as to what was plaguing him.

  Clenching his fists just as the thought of his idiocy, he recalled the feeling of brushing her damp hair over her shoulder for the hundredth time. What an idiot! Jax had no clue what possessed him to do something so dumb. The look in her surprised eyes, the gentle slope of her neck, the impossibly wonderful scent of that accursed shampoo she used. Fucking hell, she was affecting him. Affecting him in the very way, he told himself it wouldn't when he let her stay, and in the very last way, she needed right now in her life.

  The credits were rolling ahead of him and the room was quiet. He didn’t even need to look over at her to know she had fallen asleep, but he did anyway. Curled up, with her feet tucked underneath the blanket, her head rested against the arm of the sofa. Long, dark wavy brown hair draped over her shoulder like a cape. Feeling the muscles in his jaw twitch, he turned away and got up. Tonight was the first time Alessia had ever touched him, the memory of her fingers digging into his arm was jarring, he couldn’t get it out of his head.

  He hoped it was the first and last time.

  Chapter 9

  “God, you cruel fuck, what else do you want from me?” Jax murmured into the cold night air.

  That day started off so well too. Alessia had made a big delicious breakfast out of nowhere and without reason. He wasn’t sure if the gesture was in thank you or an apology for something, though he didn't really care, the food was delicious. Since it was raining, he stayed inside doing the various chores he had been putting off. Fixing a loose handle on the sink, cleaning out the woodstove, and other menial tasks he purposely saved for rainy days. Alessia had turned on some music and began humming to a song as she tried her hand at canning peaches.

  She had laughed when she warned him about her expertise in canning. "When you open this in however many months, and they end up killing you, my bad."

  Jax couldn’t help but wonder where was it s
he saw herself in those months? Did she picture herself next to him as he cautiously tried her canned “death” peaches? The thought of her still there with him left him confused. Confused because he had no idea how he should feel about that.

  Just as every day in the winter months, night approached fast, swallowing the daylight without remorse. When she announced she was taking a shower, Jax had to look at his watch just to realize most of the day was already gone.

  It was absent-mindedness like that which got him into his current mess.

  Leaning against the side of his house, Jax watched the light from the bathroom window stretch across the ground. Hypnotically, he watched the shadow dancing across the light, and he clenched his eyes shut at the pure image that burned itself into his retinas. He had only come out to check on one of his motion lights that had gone off, yet again. He had been so focused on his task; he didn't even think to remind himself not to look up.

  But he did, and now he was fucked.

  The scene would live on in his mind as clear as day until he died, something always there to remind and torment him. Tilting her head back into the spray of the shower, Jax stood frozen in the cover of darkness as Alessia’s breasts rose to the task. Dark berries from a forbidden garden, he noticed with alarming precision every detail of her nipples. The pert short stems, the tiny bumps the circled her slightly large areolas, and their slight puffy shape. His mouth salivated at the sight.

  Fucking hell, he wanted to shout into the black sky in fury.

  This wasn't supposed to be happening, dammit. Pacing near the front of the cabin, Jax raged silently. He had been doing so good with her until this moment. The relationship between them was civil if not slightly acrimonious at times due to his love of teasing her. Everything had been fine until that night she begged him not to go outside and check for any prowling predators. Those Goddamn motion lights. He should burn them for all the hell they caused. The mixture of shock and sadness that shined back at him through her eyes blindsided him in that moment when he looked at her. It had been so long since he had seen or felt someone genuinely worry about him it was hard to process.

  That night, something between them unwillingly awakened. It was something that had been lying dormant just beneath the surface, something that he had been willing to sidestep for however long as possible. Not anymore, now it was awake and alive between them, forcing him to pay attention.

  Now any and everything was affecting him, things that would have gone ignored before seeped past his barriers and struck the bone. Her smile, her laugh, even her fucking home-cooked meals were a source of torture. And despite his constant reminder to stay strong, Jax found himself breaking weak.

  When he took her out to practice shooting the day before, he found himself purposely going out of his way to tease her enough to spark that sexy little glint of ire in her eyes, forcing her to argue back with him. Or how when she made all of her shots, he found himself returning the hug she threw around his shoulders.

  Pressing the heel of his palms to his eyes, Jax idly listened to the shower stop. This wasn’t going to work. He was a man, evidently a weak man, but a man nonetheless. If they were going to continue this friendly relationship that she needed, there was going to have to be some added distance.

  ~*~

  For the past two days, nothing she did was right in Jax's eyes. If she wasn't using too much wood for the stove, she was moving too slow when he requested her to bring him a particular tool. Even the compliments on her cooking stopped. There was a tension surrounding them and Alessia wasn't even sure what she did to start it. All she knew is that it felt like she was on thin ice with the man.

  Pouring the coffee, Alessia could hear Jax emerge from the bathroom behind her. She made sure not to look at him as she slid his cup near his plate. She tensed when she felt him walk up to the counter next to her. Initially, she planned on sitting at the couch to eat her breakfast, wanting to avoid the small kitchen table with him at all cost, but now she wasn't so sure. If she went to the couch, that meant she had to turn around and she may make accidental eye contact with him. That certainly wasn't a part of her plan of staying "unseen and unheard" as much as humanly possible. Glancing up to the kitchen window, she spotted the chair out on the porch. Perfect.

  Grabbing her plate and coffee, she reached for the door handle.

  "Where are you going?" he muttered darkly from behind her.

  Her heart sank, slowly she turned around to see Jax’s angry furrowed brow. Nearly every emotion conveyed on this man’s face seemed angry lately.

  Keeping her tone light, she smiled weakly. “I was going to eat on the porch.”

  Setting his coffee mug down with a thump in front of his already clean plate, Jax stood up.

  “Sit down and eat your food inside before you get sick,” Alessia flinched at the aggravation in his voice. “I’ll be outside finishing up the wind turbine, come out when you’re done, I have got a project for you to work on.”

  Watching him walk out the door, Alessia's shoulders dropped once the door shut. This wasn't working between them, and the shocking part was it hurt to realize that. On some level, she had come to like Jax, it was comforting being around him. His personality was harsh at times, but there was a kind of honorable layer underneath that ruled him. Growing up in a trailer park on the wrong end of town, Alessia didn't have very many examples of good men growing up. Her own father was missing in action long before she was born and most of her neighbors and friends had similar stories. Men who covered stranded women with blankets as they slept on their couch seemed like something she had only ever seen on TV.

  Taking her dishes to the sink, Alessia could see Jax outside screwing on a large blade to the wind turbine engine. Just how much longer was he going to tolerate her presence, she thought.

  Outside, she stood next to Jax in the doorway of his toolshed in the back of the house. He had told her a while back that this was the first toolshed he started with when he moved out here. It was smaller than the newer one it sat next to and held mostly tools while the larger one housed building supplies.

  “Just organize all the tools on this wall,” he pointed to the trays and trays of various nuts, bolts, nails and more. On the shelves were various piles of pliers, wrenches, and screwdrivers. Alessia recognized most of the tools as things they used for the past few weeks on various projects.

  "Turn on the heater in the back and keep these doors close," he instructed sharply. Not saying anything else, he walked away.

  Doing as instructed, she closed the heavy wooden door behind her. Clicking on the light, she looked around at where to start first.

  It'd been about an hour since Jax left her, and the toolshed had warmed up thanks to the heater. She was working on the top shelf when her foot slipped off the corner of the stool she was standing on. For the briefest moment, she floated in midair, giving her just enough time to close her eyes to the pain.

  Kicking open the door with his foot, Jax stepped sideways through the cabin door carrying Alessia in his arms.

  Back in the tool shed, when she first opened her eyes, Alessia could feel the gritty wooden floor beneath her as light from the opening door blared inside.

  "Alessia," she heard his voice yell somewhere over her head, and for a moment, relief washed over her. Closing her eyes, she ignored everything else.

  When she opened her eyes again, she was being shaken. Staring directly at her, Jax’s eyes were like two black bolts of lightning—chaotic and dangerous.

  "Alessia, so help me God, if you close your eyes again…" Kicking the cabin door shut behind him, Jax stomped across the living room. "Of all the dumb shit you do…" Jax continued to grumble aloud as he laid her on the couch before stepping back and walking to the bathroom.

  Blinking a few times, Alessia tried to sit up despite the lightheaded feeling swamping her senses.

  “Do not move,” Jax’s heavy hand on her shoulder kept her in place as he walked around the sofa, carrying a chair in
his other hand.

  Setting the chair down in front of the sofa, Jax brushed some of her hair from her forehead to the side. Alessia wasn't sure where to look as he leaned forward, examining her head. Centering her line of sight, she stared at the corded muscles of his neck, watching them flex and move with each motion as he continued to examine her.

  Prompting her to turn on her side, he hissed between his teeth as he inspected the wound on her hip and thigh. “I swear, I’m starting to think trouble just follows you.”

  With her dizziness finally fading, she gave a dry laugh. "If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all."

  Lifting her hand at the wet feeling trailing near her eye, Alessia sat up with alarm at the blood glistening on her fingers.

  “What did I say?” Jax warned as he pressed the cloth with peroxide to her cut. “Don’t move. It’s not deep, so don’t worry.

  “But I’m bleeding from the head!” she cried.