Very Bad Things

by Ilsa Madden-Mills

  He guffawed. “Shit, you saw me? I tried to be sneaky.”

  “Kinda hard to miss when a six-foot-two lineman is looking over your shoulder, trying to peek at your answers. You’re lucky I didn’t report you,” I joked.

  He chuckled. “You’re not gonna give me a lecture are you? If you are, let’s go find you a whip first. I like a girl in charge.”

  “Uh . . . uh, why don’t you just buy me an ice cream instead, and we’ll skip the lecture bit,” I mumbled out, faltering. Shit. I sucked at flirting. I needed some vodka.

  “Alright, what flavor do you want?” he said, handing me his football so he could pull out his wallet.

  “Chocolate is my favorite,” I said, purposely running my eyes over his brown skin. He had a golden tan from the sun, but I decided there was also definite Latino in his family background, too. His mother had died last year, but I seemed to remember she was Brazilian?

  He paused and raised his brows. “Is that so?”

  “Today it is,” I said, smiling up at him. “What’s yours?”

  He laughed, his eyes gleaming at me. “It’s gonna sound dumb if I say vanilla, so I won’t, but truthfully—I like all kinds of ice cream, sweetheart. It’s my favorite dessert,” he said, giving me a lingering look with his warm, almost yellowish eyes. I got transfixed for a moment at the unusual color, fascinated about the genetics behind it. Where had he gotten that rare hue? As he turned to go get the ice cream, I made a mental note to drag out my Biology 101 book when I got home and brush up on my genetics. Yes. Science interested me.

  A few minutes later, he came back with a waffle cone that had two heaps of chocolate on top. It looked amazing and delicious, and I practically tackled him for it.

  I couldn’t hide my glee when I took the first wonderful bite, my lips sinking into the cold creaminess. “Oh, Cuba, so good. Thank you,” I moaned, as my tongue wrapped around the yummy cone.

  He fidgeted, his hands gripping the football he’d taken back a little tighter. “That good, huh?”

  “Uh-huh, you have no idea. Mother never allows sweets in the house. She’s too scared she’ll gain a pound . . . or I will,” I said in between licks. I looked up from the cone. “Here,” I said, holding it up to him, wanting to share this glorious thing, “take some of mine. Best thing ever, I promise.”

  He leaned down and licked the ice cream, never taking his strange eyes off me, making me shiver. “Yeah,” he said, “it’s good, but I’d rather watch you eat it.”

  Well. I mean, were all guys this easy? Leo hadn’t been. He’d cut me off quick.

  And at the thought of him, my eyes wandered back over to where he stood with Tiffany. They were sitting at a picnic table now, and Tiffany’s back was to me while Leo faced me. Even though we were several feet away from him, I felt the weight of his stare. Those blue eyes of his had zeroed right in on me, and he might say he didn’t want me, but his actions hinted otherwise. He’d been hard for me in the bathroom; he’d tried to sniff me in the bed; he’d held my hand all night. But maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. He already had someone.

  “Are you going to Emma Eason’s party this weekend?” Cuba asked me, getting my attention.

  “Emma doesn’t like me much, but you can count on me being there. I’ve got some catching up to do when it comes to partying.”

  “I’d like to be around when you catch up,” he teased, stepping a little closer to me. He stroked his thumb across my cheek, wiping away some of the ice cream I’d gotten on my face. He sucked it off his fingers. Slowly. My eyes got big.

  I stood there blankly, not able to think of a single thing to say. Me. The word girl. A conversational idiot. This flirting while sober thing was hard.

  “I think I have you figured out. You’re not real subtle are you?” I finally said.

  He laughed. “Nope. Besides, it saves time, doesn’t it? If I like a girl, I let her know. And you, I like.”

  “Uh-huh. I bet you say that to all the girls.”

  “You know, I tried to talk to you some last year, but you never seemed interested,” he said, watching me eat the ice cream. “I said hi to you once in class, and you looked right through me, like I was invisible.”

  I bit my lip. “Cuba, I’m sorry. I don’t remember that. Sometimes I get in a zone thinking about all the things I have to get done. Ignoring you was never on purpose.” I said, telling him a half-truth. Oh, I’d been in a zone alright. One where I’d had to constantly concentrate on holding myself together.

  He grinned. “Good. I hope we have a class together this year.”

  I nodded absently, my attention switching to Leo as he stood and hugged Tiffany, and after a few moments she walked off, ending their date. As soon as she was out of sight, Leo headed our way.

  Leo strolled over to us with the fluid grace of a man who knew he was the epitome of a confident male, assured in his virility and sexual prowess. And even though my blood raced with the anticipation of being close to him again, I still fumed over Tiffany. Why did he affect me like this?

  “Date leave?” I asked him.

  He ignored my question and cut his eyes at Cuba, like he didn’t like him.

  “Who has a running date in the park anyway?” I said, goading him, wanting to push his buttons.

  “Grown-ups,” he replied instantly, making me want to squish my cone in his face, but no way was I parting with my precious.

  “You’re just not that in to her if you can’t put forth the effort it takes for a real date. Seriously, all you did was run around in the heat, sweat like a pig, and buy her some water,” I retorted, not able to stop the flow of smart-ass remarks with him. I mean, this wasn’t like me at all.

  He threw back his head and laughed uproariously, and I stood hypnotized by this Leo, seeing his sexy lips curve up and his sparkling eyes shine with amusement. Even if the joke was at my expense, it didn’t bother me, because it had been worth it to see him like that, so carefree and happy. And I also sensed he wasn’t the kind of guy to laugh at someone to be mean. He’d taken up for Teddy in a heartbeat, telling me real quick Teddy was valuable to the band. And so, even though I wanted to be mad, I couldn’t stop myself from joining in and laughing with him.

  Somehow, I remembered my manners. “Cuba, this is Leo Tate. He’s Sebastian’s older brother and guardian. Leo, this is Cuba, a football player and student at BA.”

  Leo’s back went ramrod straight as he approached Cuba to shake hands, easing up to him as stealthily as a tiger on the prowl. Standing across from each other, I could see that Leo was about three inches taller than Cuba, which put Leo around the six foot five mark. No wonder he drove the Escalade; it was the only car big enough for him.

  As I watched, they acknowledged each other in some ritualistic badass caveman style, with glaring eyes and grunts, mostly from Leo’s end. Tension crackled in the air as Leo’s eyes bounced back and forth from me to Cuba, and I wondered what the hell he was thinking with that hard look on his face. And the way he was staring at Cuba made me think he was jealous, but that wasn’t true. He’d just been with Tiffany, “the girl he was seeing.” Why would he be mad because I was hanging out with Cuba? I huffed and was gearing up to tell him he could just turn himself right back around and walk back the way—

  He turned to me, and his eyes seemed to search every inch of my body, making me feel hot. “Did you get a tattoo today?” he asked.

  “No, but I made an appointment,” I said, taking a lick of my forgotten ice cream, wondering if I’d get the same reaction from Leo that I’d gotten from Cuba. “Got a nipple piercing instead.”

  Leo’s entire stance stiffened, and his eyes flicked from my mouth to my breasts, where they stayed, and heaven help me, I couldn’t resist, so I reached for the hem of my top. “Wanna see?” I teased.

  “Hell, yeah,” Cuba muttered out while Leo stood there with a clenched jaw. I knew that reaction; I’d seen it when I’d taken my clothes off in front of him. Either he was angry or horny, or
maybe both at the same time. I hadn’t decided.

  “No?” I arched a brow, staring hard at Leo, my breathing getting faster. “You’d like it. I didn’t do the norm and get the ring or barbell. I got these little angel wings that you screw onto the side. It’s right here,” I said, taking my finger and tracing it around my breast where the piercing lay underneath my shirt. I remembered touching my breast for him the night before; I wondered if he was thinking about it, too.

  His nose flared wide, and his eyes jerked back to my chest, and I knew he could see the imprint of the piercing because I’d seen Shayla’s, and she’d been wearing a bra. I arched a bit forward so he could see better.

  Cuba whistled, his wide grin making me chuckle. He was a lot like Sebastian, handsome with a tinge of arrogance, but instead of seeming conceited about their good fortune in the looks department, both of them managed to not take themselves too seriously, and it worked big time, making them even hotter.

  And Leo, he stared at me and then at Cuba, his mouth a thin line, like he wanted to throttle us both. We were spared what would have happened next when Sebastian walked back over to us.

  He must have caught the tail end of our conversation. “Hey, don’t forget about me. I wanna see this piercing,” he said, grinning at me and then cutting his eyes at Leo, like he wanted to gauge his reaction to what he’d said. I paused, wondering what that look had meant.

  “I was kidding about flashing my boobs in the park,” I laughed. “But, I’ll show you later,” I said to Sebastian.

  Leo let out an exasperated breath and ran both hands through his hair, his fingers twitching as he let them fall.

  I ignored him and turned to say something to Cuba when Leo grabbed my elbow. “I need to talk to you. Now,” he said, steering me away from Cuba and Sebastian. Dumbfounded, I let him. Once we got out of earshot, I came to my senses and jerked away. “Stop dragging me around. What is so important that you couldn’t say it in front of them?” I said heatedly, looking back at Cuba and Sebastian, both of them watching. Cuba appeared unconcerned, but Sebastian seemed to have a smile on his face.

  He shook his head, his face serious with his brows pulled down. “Nora, you think I don’t know Cuba already, but I do. He comes over to the gym some, and Sebastian talks about him a lot. He’s dated lots of girls this summer, all at the same time and then dumps them. When I said you needed a healthy relationship, he is not who I meant.”

  I scoffed. “Maybe I don’t want healthy. Maybe I just want to hook up. Ever think of that?”

  “I saw your fucking list, Nora. I know what you’re planning to do. And I don’t want you to make a mistake. You think you want to be bad, but I think that maybe whatever happened to you was what was bad. Not you.”

  My mouth opened in shock. “You read my private journal? How could you, Leo? That was personal.”

  “Because you ruined my car. Because it’s obvious you’re a girl who’s crying out for help,” he said.

  “Please don’t help me anymore. I don’t need your pity. I can take care of myself.” I seethed.

  “Listen to me. I want to . . . I don’t know . . . get you through this. You seem like you’re on the edge of doing something terrible, and you don’t have to do bad things to get attention—”

  “You think I’m doing this for attention?” I gasped out, shaking my head at him angrily. “You want to fix me?”

  He faltered and struggled to find words. “No, it may appear that way, but that’s not what I meant—”

  “Stop,” I said, holding my hand. “First of all, if I want to be fixed, I’ll call a shrink like you hinted at this morning. Secondly, just because we spent the night in the same bed does not mean you know me. You have no idea if I’m good or bad, you have no clue what happened to me, and you can’t tell me who I can date. If I want to get drunk, I will. If I want to snort some coke, I will. If I want to fuck Cuba, then I’ll enjoy every dirty moment. I’m not afraid of getting my heart broken, Leo. There’s not one there to break. Thirdly, why do you give a shit, anyway? You basically told me to stay away from you.”

  I whipped around, heading for the park exit, not even turning to wave bye to Sebastian or Cuba.

  I heard Leo call out to my retreating back. “Dammit, Nora. Come back! Don’t walk away from me!”

  I kept going, yet I stupidly prayed he’d come after me. Tell me that he wanted to keep me from Cuba because he felt the connection between us. But that would be a lie because now I knew the truth. He’d read my journal and only felt sorry for me.

  I fucking hated pity. It was a wasted emotion.

  “If love is the answer, then I’m changing the question.”

  –Leo Tate

  AS I WALKED back to the gym from the park, I wasn’t thinking about the contractors who were there, working on getting the pool in. Nope, I stuck on Nora and how she made me forget every practical thought in my head. She’d driven me insane today at the park, licking that ice cream cone and talking to Cuba. And he’d been all over her, standing next to her, wiping ice cream off her face, grinning at her. Even when I’d been talking to Tiffany, I’d been distracted, watching their annoying flirtation play out.

  Nora . . . she did something to me. I’d spent half an hour in the shower this morning, jerking off to her, thinking about her big green eyes, how she’d touched my tats at breakfast, the way she smelled like fresh peaches. Most of all I kept remembering her in the bathroom, tall and sexy with breasts perfect for cupping in my hands.

  I’d said she was too young, but maybe it wasn’t just the age difference. Because the more I got to know her, the more I saw that the age factor wasn’t the big deal I was making it out to be. Maybe it was a convenient excuse. A part of me knew that besides the age, I simply wasn’t good enough for her. I’d end up treating her like all the other girls I’d known. Like shit.

  And I didn’t want to be part of her destruction. Just a number on her list.

  My eyes were caught by a camera shop’s storefront, and it reminded me of Teddy. It was sometimes hard to tell how he felt about things, but I’d sensed he’d taken a liking to Nora. She needed something to keep her out of trouble, and maybe helping Teddy would be good for her.

  I strolled inside the shop to check it out. Teddy’d mentioned his sister didn’t have much money to support his film habit, so I looked around and talked to the clerk some about what types of pictures Teddy took. I ended up spending about a hundred bucks on regular film plus some black and white. Knowing how Teddy loved to take pictures, he’d be thrilled with whatever I got because he wasn’t hard to please.

  Part of why I’d taken to him so fast was that he and his sister had lost their parents at an early age just like me and Sebastian. Mostly, it was his enthusiasm for life that fascinated me, reminding me how easily we forget the little things we used to think about when we were younger, like a nice sunset or how great a song sounds the first time you hear it. Even though he had autism, he saw a whole lot more than I did.

  When I got back to the gym, I hit it hard even though I’d just had a run at the park, hoping to rid my body of the frustration I’d been feeling, I lifted for an hour, concentrating on my arms, sweating Nora out of my head.

  While I was working out, Sebastian came in the weight room, making a beeline for me. “You wanna tell me what that was at the park with Nora?” he snapped, like he was irritated.

  I let the dumbbells fall to the floor, their clinking noise the only sound in the room. I didn’t know what to say to him. I’d been out of control in the park. The truth is, trying not to want her made me want her more.

  “Leo? Dude, what’s wrong with you?” he asked. “I’ve never seen you get worked up over a girl.”

  At least I could answer some of that question. “Nora made a list of bad things to do in her journal. I read it. When I asked her about it, she freaked out and got mad when I tried to tell her to stay away from Cuba.”

  Sebastian’s brow wrinkled. “What did it say?”

&
nbsp; “That she wants to drink, do drugs, and have random sex with multiple people,” I said, snarling a little on the last part.

  “Ah,” he said, sitting down on the bench next to me, his annoyance at me gone.

  “And I want to know why. Something’s off about her family.”

  He nodded. “Her mom’s a piece of work.”

  I agreed. “Look, here’s the thing. I want you to keep an eye on her. Check on her. Call her. Hang out with her. Make sure she’s not doing anything stupid,” I said, not meeting his eyes. I mean, I pretty much sounded like a stalker. Why did I fucking care so much about what happened to her? I’d only just met her.

  He laughed out loud. “Dude, challenge accepted. She’s gorgeous. And I was planning on hanging with her anyway,” he said as he stood up to go.

  He got to the door and turned back around, a serious look on his face. “Technically, she may be younger than you, but I think she’s had to grow up too fast, man. Just like you did.”

  A FEW DAYS later, I did something I’d later regret. I called Nora to invite her over to the gym for an impromptu poolside get together with Teddy. The pool had been finished that week, and it seemed like a good opportunity to see if the spur-of-the-moment decision to ask to her to help him had been a good idea. I could already tell that Teddy liked her, but it was important for her to return the feeling. I didn’t know her well enough to judge yet, and I wanted to believe that she wasn’t just another entitled rich girl, but I needed to see her one more time.

  That’s the only reason I invited her.

  I heard the buzzer peal while we were at the pool. Teddy jumped up from his deck chair and ran over to mine, his Mickey Mouse swim shorts still wet from swimming. His sister had dropped him off with us about an hour earlier, and he’d been in the pool the entire time. He was a good swimmer and had only gotten out when he knew it was time for Nora to arrive.

  “Nora’s here. Nora’s here,” he said, walking in circles, flapping his arms a little more than usual.