Very Bad Things

by Ilsa Madden-Mills

  Suddenly Mila jumped in front of me, bless her heart. “Leave us alone, Emma,” she told the viper. “Matt asked her to dance.”

  Emma chortled. “Is sweet Miss Priss taking up for the geek?” she sneered, pushing her fingers into Mila’s chest until Mila staggered back and fell into a chair. Emma tossed her full cup of beer into Mila’s face and turned back to me, her eyes like death rays. “Boyfriend-stealing sluts are not allowed at my party, so leave.”

  My adrenaline from my skirmish with Matt rose back up to the surface. I’d had enough. Enough of guys putting me second, enough of people pushing me around and telling me what to do, and enough of trying to please them all. None of them knew the real me, the one that carried a six-inch knife.

  Plus, she’d just poured beer all over the sweetest person I knew.

  “Emma, do you know what your problem is?”

  Emma twisted her lips. “I don’t care what you think, bitch.”

  “You’re a mean person, and these people here aren’t really your friends,” I said. “Oh, they’ll kiss up to you because they want to be popular, but behind your back, they talk about that mole on your cheek that looks like a zit or how big your ass is in that mini skirt.”

  She grinned evilly. “Everyone wants to be me, Nora. I’m not just a cheerleader; I’m the cheerleader at BA. I’ll always be the popular girl. And you won’t.”

  I cut my eyes at her bestie. “Why are you still friends with April? Guess you gotta keep your enemies close, huh? Making sure she doesn’t sleep with Matt again?” I said, purposely pushing the one button I knew set her off.

  Her face turned a bright cardinal red. She cursed and shoved me hard, making me stumble and crash to the concrete on my bottom. My elbows caught most of my fall, and when I glanced at them, blood was dripping down my arms. I tried to get up, but she kicked me in the stomach before I could roll away from her heels. I managed to stand, determined to not let her kick my ass in front of the entire senior class.

  She laughed. “Matt was only using you to make me mad.”

  “Matt is a serious douche,” I said, squaring off against her.

  She called me a very unladylike name and ran at me, but I stepped to the side at the last minute. She turned around quickly, though, and elbowed me hard in the ribs, except this time I managed to balance myself. She came at me again . . . and I slugged her in the face with my fist. I clearly had no idea how to land a good punch, but Mila and I had watched Fight Club junior year. My fist must have connected well because she screamed and stood there, holding her eye.

  “I can’t believe you hit me!” she screamed. She ran at me like a crazy woman at a Macy’s clearance sale, her hands slapping wildly at my face. It became a full-fledged chick fight when she yanked a handful of my hair. When I saw the hunk of red she’d pulled out of my head, I returned the favor.

  She teetered when she tried to kick me again with her stilettos, and I heard someone in the crowd laugh. She grabbed at the bodice of my dress and tugged, trying to rip it off. Her sharp fingernails pressed against my piercing, and I screamed out, the pain slicing through my chest. I threw her off me.

  She grunted and barreled at me again, looking a lot like those over-the-top wrestlers you see on television. When she made contact this time, I rushed her with my shoulders. She yelled and flailed her arms wildly as we both hit the pool water with a loud splash!

  Sebastian was the first person I saw when I came up out of the water.

  He scowled but reached in and pulled me out of the pool. Water was dripping everywhere, and I couldn’t help but get him wet as he held me.

  “Are you drunk?” he asked me, a frown on his face.

  “Most likely,” I sighed, wringing the water from my ruined hairstyle.

  “What the hell?” he said, looking upset.

  I shivered from the suddenly cool air. “PMS? Which I like to call Psychotic Mood Shift. It sounds scarier.”

  He shook his head. “Come on, let’s get you out of here before anything else happens,” he said, taking my hand and leading me back around the side of the house where all the cars were parked. I decided right then to not tell him about Matt. I didn’t know how far Matt would have gone out there, but I didn’t want to create trouble for Sebastian when he was a brand new student and had to play on the football team where Matt was the quarterback.

  “What about Mila?” I asked, stopping him so I could take off my wet shoes.

  He blew out a breath, like he was fed-up. “Already rounded her up. She’s meeting us at the car.”

  I eyed him carefully. “You’re angry. Why?”

  “First it was Cuba, then you and Matt, then the fight with Emma! What’s next?” he said.

  “So?”

  “So! I worry about you. You’re a magnet for trouble. You have been since the day I met you.”

  Tears threatened, but I swallowed them down. “Well, don’t worry about me, okay. I live in a twenty million dollar mansion alone!”

  He raised his brows, and I felt guilty for yelling at him. He’d come to mean something to me, and I didn’t want to screw that up. “Just be my friend,” I implored. “I only have a few, and I can’t lose you, too.”

  “I’ll always be your friend,” he whispered, gently easing me into a hug, like I was fragile. I guess I was. I pressed my nose to his chest and inhaled, hoping he smelled like butterscotch, but he didn’t. And at the thought of Leo, I grew sad, letting our last conversation play back in my head.

  I changed the topic. “So how embarrassed should I be? Did I win?” I joked.

  He thought about it. “It was slightly comical. I’ve seen worst in a Girls Gone Wild video. But my money was on you,” he said, tweaking my nose.

  “Thanks for bailing me out,” I said, as we came upon Mila standing by his car. She was drenched in beer but gave me a sparkling smile.

  “You kicked ass, Nora,” she squealed and hopped around, obviously still reeling from the excitement. I didn’t agree with her, but smiled anyway, not wanting to dampen her spirits.

  Sebastian tossed her the keys. “You drive. I’m gonna sit back here with Nora,” he said. He opened the back door, let me in and then slid in beside me, our wet clothes sticking to the blue leather interior. Mila started the car and turned up Pink in the CD player as we headed back to Club Vita.

  “Leo told me about your list,” he said, picking up my cold hands and rubbing them with his. “And maybe it’s none of my business, but I like you, and I can’t keep my mouth shut about this. I don’t want you to waste your time on loser guys like Cuba or Matt. You’re only going to cause yourself more heartache if you fuck around with them. Save yourself for the one person who will treasure you. And there is someone out there for you, I know it. Someone who will steal your heart and love you right back. Only you.”

  I sighed at the thought of someone who would choose me. “You think there’s a guy who will love me?” I smirked at him. “I’ve got some problems, and you’ve only seen the tip of the ice-berg. My crazy goes deep.”

  “You’re not crazy; you’re going through some emotional shit. And yes, there is someone out there for you,” he murmured and squeezed my hands.

  I scoffed. “You make love sound so easy.”

  “When it’s real, it is.”

  “Didn’t realize you were such a philosopher.”

  “Leo’s young, but he’s a great dad,” he said with a smile.

  I nodded. “Okay, let me ask you this: do you believe in love at first sight and soulmates?” I asked, needing another person’s input on what had been brewing in my head since I’d seen Leo at the movies.

  “Nah . . . maybe . . . I don’t know. It’s kinda scary to think you only have one person out there who’s your perfect fit. I mean, what if they’re married already or gay or pick their nose in public?”

  “Ew, Sebastian!”

  “Or, or, wait for it: what if they have a job shoveling elephant dung or what if they’re European and don’t believe in bathin
g?”

  I laughed.

  “Or, what if they lived in Antarctica? No way could I live in an igloo. I like my sunshine and Cowboys too much,” he said.

  I piped up. “Oh, oh, I got one. What if your soulmate was a Redskins fan?”

  Sebastian made a gagging sound and grabbed his chest. “You’re breaking my heart.”

  We sat there for a minute, both of us lost in thought, until he said, “Maybe it’s possible. I think my parents had it. What about you?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I believe in soulmates, but it’s up to us what we do with it.”

  “Have you ever had a moment you thought could be love at first sight?” he asked with a sly grin, like he already knew the answer.

  “Yes,” I admitted.

  “Are you going to tell me who it was with?” he teased, arching his brows at me.

  “It wasn’t Cuba or Matt,” I said wryly, turning to look out the window as we passed my house. The lights were still on. Odd.

  “I tried to be with Cuba, but in the end I couldn’t,” I said, sighing.

  “You couldn’t because of Leo,” he said. “I was there the day you guys saw each other, and Leo looked like he’d been hit by a two-by-four. I couldn’t see your face that day, but I see you now. You never stop watching him, Nora.”

  My heart stuttered, and I stopped breathing for a moment.

  “He’s the one you had a moment with. He’s the one for you, Nora.”

  I nodded weakly, not able to stop the tears that ran down my face. He pulled me over to him and gave me a gentle hug. “It’s okay, Nora.”

  After a while, he scrubbed my head with his knuckles like I’d seen Leo do to him.

  I pulled back to look at his kind face. “I wish you’d been my family,” I whispered, the emotional upheaval of the night catching up with me. “I wish you’d been my brother.”

  He nodded. “If I’d ever had a sister, I’d want one just like you, Buttercup.”

  “You gotta know when it’s time to turn the page.”

  –Nora Blakely

  WHEN WE GOT to the gym, Mila got in her car to go home. Sebastian insisted I come in and crash on their sofa since I was still buzzing from the shots. I agreed. He left me downstairs while he grabbed some towels from the linen closet to dry off his leather seats. When he went back outside, I headed upstairs to his room to change into some of his clothes.

  I walked down the hall as Leo came out of his bedroom with his arm wrapped around Tiffani’s shoulders. Her fingers clutched the belt loops on his jeans, like she owned him. As I watched, she smiled up at him, looking pleased. Then Leo kissed her, just like he’d done with me earlier. Her hands roamed all over his back, pressing him close. She moaned a little as the kiss went on and on.

  It. Broke. Me.

  I stood there stunned, scanning my eyes over her mussed hair and inside out shirt. I closed my eyes, wishing I could scrub the memory from my brain. And as the truth of it sunk in, that he had fucked her right after kissing me, I felt demolished, like a bus that I’d never seen coming had collided with me. Bam!

  I wanted to make myself disappear and pretend it had never happened. I didn’t want to remember the way her lips had clung to his, the way he’d kissed her back.

  Our kiss had meant nothing to him.

  When I opened my eyes, they were facing me, and Tiffani was staring, a satisfied smile on her face. “Oh! I’m sorry, we didn’t know you were back already,” she giggled, her eyes dancing.

  I licked my lips and tried to catch my breath, feeling physically winded. I pressed my hand to my chest to rub away the pain that had settled there. I wanted to say something smart, but I couldn’t find my voice, and it felt a lot like when I was up on stage at the open house. Like the spotlight was on me, and I was losing it. Like there was a hush in the room, and all eyes were on me. But this wasn’t a panic attack; no, this was only my heart being shattered into a million tiny pieces, and I imagined that if I could hear it, it would sound a lot like Mother’s china as I’d smashed it. I swallowed and somehow managed to laugh, but it came out mangled.

  Leo spoke. “Nora?”

  I found my voice, barely, and it came out dull and lifeless. “Sorry, I didn’t . . . I didn’t mean to interrupt your after-you’ve-fucked goodbye kiss.”

  She gasped and turned to look at an ashen-faced Leo, like she expected him to chastise me, but he was frozen, his jaw clenched tight as he stared at my face.

  Numb, like I was on auto-pilot, I left them and went into Sebastian’s room. I rummaged through his clothes crazily, my eyes not really seeing the contents. All I could see was him kissing her, holding her. I found some old shorts and a shirt, so I took off my ruined dress and slipped into them.

  Leo barged in the room.

  “Can’t you knock, please?” I asked him, turning away and straightening my shirt.

  “Like I haven’t seen you undressed before,” he said, shutting the door. His eyes roamed over me, his gaze landing on my now scabbed over elbows. “What the hell happened to you?” he demanded, striding over and reaching out for my arms.

  I came to life, jerking away from him. “Don’t! Just don’t. If you touch me right now, I think I’ll be sick,” I said.

  He visibly winced and stepped back. I wondered where Tiffani was. Had she left?

  I picked up a brush from Sebastian’s dresser and attacked my hair, not noticing if the braid got out or not. My eyes were open, but my brain wasn’t processing. I was holding it all back, trying not to feel, trying to not let him see my anguish. I set the brush down and just stood there looking at myself in the mirror. Through the mirror, I saw Leo with his back against the wall, arms crossed, watching me. His body looked drawn up and tight, like he was barely holding himself in check. His sharp gaze kept trying to capture mine, but I’d look away. He’d avoided my eyes all night, and now he wanted to have a stare down? No.

  He pushed off the wall and started pacing around the bedroom. “Listen, I’m sorry you saw that. You didn’t deserve it, especially after the kiss we had. But you and I . . . you have to understand, we can’t be together,” he said, stopping and standing behind me.

  I checked my teeth in the mirror. I practiced my fake smile. I practiced it again and again. I counted the seconds down in my head.

  “Nora, quit primping and say something. Anything,” he pleaded, coming closer to me. “Don’t ignore me.”

  Falling for someone can be a lot like playing roulette. You don’t know what will happen when you place that bet, but you take a deep breath anyway and put all the chips out there. And when the ball spins around and around, you pray it lands on your number. Probability says you’ll likely loose, and in this game of love with Leo, odds were I would lose, too, but I had to try.

  I was going all in.

  I stared at him through the mirror. “Leo, I know it’s unexplainable because I barely know you, but being with you makes me feel good inside and happy. I’ve never had that. When I see you, I feel like I’m home. Like we’re pieces of a puzzle that have finally come together. And . . . and I think being happy isn’t about the big moments, like when you graduate from college or get that job you’ve been wanting. It’s the small moments that take your breath away and make you truly happy, like the first time you see your newborn’s face or . . . or when you meet someone who could be your soulmate.”

  “What are you saying?” he whispered in a strained voice, breathing hard, like he was winded, too.

  I turned to face him, trembling. “I shouldn’t have painted your car. I shouldn’t have stripped for you. And, I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted me back. No one does. So yeah, maybe I am a mess, but I do know one thing for certain. I want more little happy moments. I’m greedy for them. I want them over and over . . . and . . . I’m not going to get them from you am I?”

  He paled, giving me his answer.

  He was my Prince Charming, but I wasn’t his Cinderella.

  He strode over and stood close to me, until we wer
e almost touching. He cradled my cheek in his hand. Like he fucking cared.

  I stepped away and wiped my face where he’d touched it. “Don’t act like you care when you don’t. Because if you did, you’d never have kissed me tonight and then turned around and fucked her. Just leave me alone and stay out of my business. For good.”

  He looked dazed, not even listening. “Are you saying we’re soulmates . . . that you’re in love with me?” he asked, his eyes boring into mine.

  I ignored him and gathered up my wet clothes.

  “Nora, tell me the truth,” he implored, and I heard anguish in his voice, and I wondered why it was so important to him.

  I nodded. “This is the truth: I’m done with you. I hope she makes you happy and—” I swallowed. “Goodbye, Leo.”

  “She’s this beautiful chaos.”

  –Leo Tate

  “WAIT,” I WHISPERED, finally finding my voice, but she didn’t hear me because she’d already left, the click of the bedroom door sounding final.

  I sank down on the bed and gripped the ends of my hair and pulled hard, trying to yank myself back to the present, because my head was still reeling from her words about love and soulmates. Did it mean that she loved me?

  She’d never said.

  Sebastian stormed into his bedroom, his legs eating up the ground to where I sat. “What the hell did you do to her?!”

  I scrubbed my face with my hands.

  “Leo?” he demanded, “Tell me what just happened in here.”

  I sat there, feeling unbalanced, like someone had just turned my world upside down. Had I subconsciously wanted her to see me with Tiffani? To what lengths would I go to in order to push her away?

  He shoved my shoulder with his fingers, like he wanted to start a fight. “I knew you’d do this. I knew you’d piss all over her.”

  I stood up. “Watch what you say, Sebastian. You’re angry, and I get that, but back off,” I warned. “You’ve got no idea what’s going on between me and Nora.”