Unmistakably Us (Imagine Ink Book 5)

by Verlene Landon

  “I used to hate him. I didn’t even know him, and I hated him. For years, I fucking hated him. I used to blame him for taking the only mother I ever knew away. I was left with a murdering rapist asshole that ended up in prison and got himself killed for it. Then I was left with a string of abusive and criminal family members until finally, I left and never looked back.”

  Logan inhaled almost violently after spitting out those words. For the first time in his life, it actually felt cleansing, like Gus was always going on about.

  “Lucinda hid him away. She left me so he could have a better life before he was even born. I wrongly blamed him my whole life for having what I never did.”

  Dread followed in the wake of the clean feeling, settling in his stomach like gas station sushi. The garage was eerily silent. Even Walker, who always fucking had something to say, was uncharacteristically mute.

  It was the look on Dax’s face that held the most judgment. No surprise there. Logan expected as much. Stacy was close with Tori and Michael, and Dax lived and breathed for his woman. Anything that upsets her was not okay with him.

  What was a surprise was the lack of judgment coming from Frank. It was his son-in-law, after all. Walker finally found his voice. “Well, fuck me stupid. I can see it. How in the hell did we miss it? You two are practically fucking twins,” Walker added almost to himself, but Logan heard. “‘Cept the eyes.”

  Thanks douche, I know. Mine are a lot harder, but then they’ve seen a lot more shit than I hope he ever does.

  Dax was still glaring at him, like he was trying to control something in himself at Logan’s revelation. Logan turned his observation to Frank, who had gone still next to him. Of the men in the room, Frank’s reaction seemed to matter most to him.

  It rankled Logan that he cared that much, or rather, why he cared. He had started looking at Frank in a father figure capacity, and he wasn’t happy about it.

  Frank clapped Logan on the back, and instinctively, he flinched. No one had ever touched him favorably after he said something they didn’t like. The non-aggressive touch put Logan a little at ease, but he wouldn’t relax until he knew everyone’s reactions.

  “Son, that is certainly a humdinger.” Frank’s voice was strained. Logan’s secret had hurt the older man, and Logan felt like a dick. A few months ago, he wouldn’t have given a shit, but now? Now, he actually cared about these people.

  Shame brought his chin low. Frank was perceptive and gave him a reassuring pat before continuing, “I meant what I said about this garage being Vegas, but that doesn’t mean I…we, can hold this secret indefinitely. You need to talk to your brother. He has a right to know. Not only that, he deserves to have his brother as much as you do.”

  Logan shot Frank a shocked look. “Did you miss the part where I said I’ve harbored ill feelings toward him for years. Feelings I know now he doesn’t deserve, yet, I still felt them for a long time. Not sure if I can just let them go and have them not leave a mark behind?”

  “But—” Frank attempted to answer, but Logan cut him off. How could they just let him off this easy? It’s unnatural. Maybe they could let bygones be bygones and all that shit, but Logan wasn’t able to go that easy on himself.

  “No one deserves me as a brother or anything else, for that matter.” Logan broke away from the car and the nearness of the men who seemed way too okay with him being the long-lost angry brother of one of their own.

  He was almost free of the stifling atmosphere of the garage. Free to pack his shit and run. Leave them all behind. They’ll be better off without me, anyway. I’m poison, and this family doesn’t deserve to be poisoned. He heard Frank empathically insist that Michael does deserve him, but that isn’t what halted him.

  What stopped his egress was a big fucking hand landing on his shoulder and not in a uber warm and fuzzy way, either. Logan turned to face the big man once again, praying he would take a swing. It was almost as if their reaction was too much for him. No one had ever been so accepting of him or his faults before. He wanted to feel physical pain. How fucked up is that?

  Dax didn’t swing. Instead, he folded his arms, looking as intimidating as fuck. “You do not get to drop a goddamn bomb like that and then run like a pussy.” Whoa, he didn’t use a television detective or video game character mixed with some nonsensical exclamation. He actually cursed. In the months Logan had been here, he had yet to hear Dax curse curse.

  “You need to nut up and tell Michael who the fuck you are.”

  Logan couldn’t resist poking the bear. He convinced himself he did it for shits and giggles, but deep down, he kind of craved the kinship he was starting to feel here. “Don’t tell me you think he deserves a loser of a brother like me, too?

  “No, I’m not one hundred percent convinced he does, but he does deserve the choice. You do not have the right to come in and drop this on us and then walk away and not give him the choice to know you as his blood or not.”

  Dax’s honesty was refreshing. He was a straight-shooter, and that’s what Logan needed.

  Walker interjected, “For the record, you’re not a loser. But you are custom-made for this family. You may not be comfortable with all this, and boy, do I get that. Hell, I was raised in this family, and I’m not comfortable with it half the damn time.”

  Now Logan was getting angry, how could they just be all right with all of this. “Didn’t you hear me? I hated him. Blamed him for decades. I may have even come here with a little payback on my mind. How are you fine with that?” Before giving Walker a chance to answer, Logan turned his ire toward Frank.

  “How the hell can you be flush with this? That’s your son-in-law I’m talking about. The man who married your daughter, who will raise your grandchildren? How can you just forget everything I said about him?”

  His answer came from the one person in the mix who he thought was the least accepting of him—Big Dax.

  “Because, this family isn’t about pasts, it’s about here and now. It’s about what’s in your heart at present. The Reids have taught me that no one is irredeemable as long as they’re still breathing. No matter what’s on your skin or in your past, you deserve love. You deserve family, and you deserve home. And as hard as it is to do sometimes, I have tried to live by that, and so does everyone else. Sometimes, it’s not so easy, and we need a reminder, but I can safely say, all of us feel strongly about what this family is all about.”

  It seemed the words exhausted Dax emotionally. His body language changed completely from just two minutes ago. Obviously, he was using the words as a refresher for him as much as a lesson for Logan.

  Frank approached them with a sheen in his eyes. He did a cursory nod toward Dax before speaking. He had to clear his throat a few times to expel the emotions that were choking his speech.

  “I couldn’t have said it better myself, son.” Frank was clearly overcome. It was written on every line in the man’s face that he was searching for the right words to convey whatever it was he felt he needed to. Logan took that opportunity to observe things through a different lens. For the first time in his life, he looked around without his guard up.

  Facing the others without a barrier of anger, without that layer of “reject them before they could reject him,” things looked a hell of a lot different. He saw genuine emotions—other than anger—directed outwardly and inwardly.

  Walker pawed at his cheeks like he was removing some imaginary oil while Frank didn’t bother to hide the tears he was wiping away. Dax had no tears, but his face held a hurricane of emotions. There were so many swirling and whipping around like a cat five, most were foreign to him. One most certainly was not—self-loathing.

  It was clear Dax was dealing with something other than how Stacy would feel about Logan being Michael’s brother. While he didn’t participate in many of their touchy-feely conversations, he was privy to them. It wasn’t like this family kept much hidden, one of things he found hard to believe at first.

  Dax had struggled to accept his ex-
wife into their lives after what she’d done. He only did it for his daughter’s sake and felt like he never truly forgave her. Logan didn’t blame him one damn bit, either. The woman ran with his kid and was gone for years. From what Logan had seen, Dax had accepted her more than he gave himself credit for, but it wasn’t like he was about to bring that shit up. He had his own bullshit, and he barely wanted others involved in it so he would be hard pressed to ever insert himself into someone else’s.

  “Logan, what Dax said is true, we don’t focus on the past. Hell, son, if we did that, none of us would be here. The past has too much power over the future if you try to hold on to it. You said yourself you didn’t have a clear agenda when you came here.” Logan tried to protest, and Frank stalled him with a hand gesture and an admonishing look.

  “And, I don’t know if you noticed it or not, but you spoke about your hard feelings toward him in the past tense. I believe you even used the phrase ‘wrongly blamed him.’ I’d say you have already changed some things about how you feel, whether you realize it or not.”

  Logan rocked back on his heels and stared at the old man as if he’d grown a dick out of his shoulder. That was something he hadn’t really noticed himself. He’d been too busy needing punishment to even see the progress he had made.

  In that moment, he didn’t feel like the perpetual loser, the idiot who deserved nothing more than what he got, which was shit. He felt ever so slightly…normal. Not the outlet for someone’s abuse. Not the son of a rapist. Not the unwanted step-child of Lucinda. Just Logan. He was just a guy who could fit in a family like this or a relationship with a girl like January.

  This is what love feels like. He barely remembered the sensation. Not just coming from others, but maybe a little bit from myself, too.

  Logan was so stunned by what was going on in his own head, he couldn’t have spoken if his life depended on it. The mute affliction didn’t seem to affect the others. The garage exploded in a cacophony of sounds and voices.

  “Ah-ha, you’re starting to get it. Good for you. I have to say, we’ve been worried about you, you know? From the day my lady-love went to meet you at the hangar, she has been praying you would finally see what she sees, what we all see. Just a man with a past like the rest of us who deserves everything he can wring out of this life.”

  Maybe, just maybe, he was starting to feel a little worthy of a good life.

  “I wouldn’t even know where to begin.” Logan spoke more to himself than anyone else. Which is ridiculous because I damn sure don’t have any answers.

  Walker’s response proved he had spoken more of that aloud than he had intended. “No worries, you don’t need to know anything. You have family, and Lord fucking knows, the Reids seem to know everything.” His borderline disrespectful tone earned him a disapproving look from Frank and a playful smack to the back of his head from Dax.

  Rubbing his wound, he feigned anger. “What? It’s the truth. Shit. Between Mom and this big galoot over here, you never have to think for yourself. Both are all too happy to advise you.” His anger ruse failed and amusement shined through.

  Before Logan had a chance to react, the occupants of the garage were laughing and agreeing. Logan knew they didn’t mean it in an overbearing or mean way, but any observer would’ve thought so. Hell, I would’ve thought so just five minutes ago.

  That was a testament to how much had changed since he picked up that socket wrench.

  Frank was the first to recover. “But as family, there needs to be trust and honesty.” Frank turned a fatherly gaze his way. “You have to tell him. You know that, right?”

  Logan nodded. He certainly did know it, and he truly wanted to tell him. The difference was, this time, the stakes were higher because his expectations were too. He wanted his brother to actually be his brother.

  When Frank spontaneously embraced him, some truths seemed so obvious. Frank’s relief was palpable. He had meant what he said about the garage being Vegas, but the weight of not telling Michael would have poisoned the old man…and that’s what I put on January.

  The questions burning through him were instant and nagging. He felt the flames from each one. When? Where? How? Who do I tell first? Do I do it public?

  Frank had long since let him go and went for a beer. Dax drew his attention when he noticed the big mother staring at him with his tree trunk arms crossed. He seemed to be studying him, turning his head to the side and them back again.

  “Anyone ever tell you, you look like a dog when you do that?”

  A chuckle preceded his response. “No. I don’t know that many people who are that stupid.” Uncrossing his arms, he started stroking his beard. He may not resemble a curious dog anymore, but something about that action was just as disturbing. “A little advice, if you don’t mind?”

  It was phrased as a question. Logan knew it wasn’t, but he appreciated the illusion of it. So he motioned for Dax to continue.

  “Everything in life seems easier when you have someone by your side who has your back, no matter what. If I were you, I’d make that girl yours before you decided to talk to Michael and Tori. Not only can she give you an extra shot of steel in your spine, she will help your cause with your brother.”

  Logan was tracking a little, because he agreed that he would be braver with January by his side. The rest puzzled him a bit. He didn’t need to ask as Dax wasn’t finished.

  “If you’re committed to her, it speaks to your ability and desire to stick around. That’s up to you if you’d rather do it solo, stupid, but your choice all the same. But leaving Tori out isn’t an option. She is a part of him and him her, if you fail to acknowledge that, it will hurt your chances at a relationship with Michael. Trust me, even I’m going to be taking a hit for being privy to your little secret and not sharing.” Dax looked around. “We all are.”

  Guilt assaulted Logan. “I didn’t mean to cause—”

  “Nonsense.” Walker cut him off. “That’s what family’s for. But Dax is right, include my sister or you’ll be sorry, and having your own lady beside you is never a bad thing. People always go on about men giving strength to their women and women giving their men softness. Well, I call bullshit. Not in this family. Sure, they soften our edges, but the Reid women, by birth or choice, are strong as fuck. Most of us wouldn’t be who we are today without them, but I swear to God, if you tell anyone I said it, I will castrate you while you sleep.”

  Everyone but Walker grabbed his family jewels in a protective manner while Walker just flashed a megawatt grin.

  “And January is no different. She’s a Reid through-and-through. Give her a chance to be your strength, your anchor during the storms, and then, telling Michael won’t be so hard,” Frank added.

  Damn, this male bonding thing is like therapy. That thought gave way to Devil Kip. “You sure took to this family thing like a duck to water; I didn’t know you had it in you.”

  Logan waited, because if Devil Kip was in a talkative mood, that meant…

  “I did, he just needed the right motivation, and have you seen that Domino dance? Um um um, that’s what I call motivation.”

  Logan cleared his throat before he told the voices in his head, aloud, to fuck off and not talk about his woman like that, because yeah, that would be totally normal behavior.

  Twelve

  Three x-rays, a Velcro brace, and some decent pain meds later—really just an anti-inflammatory with a kick—they were back home. All the ladies were in the kitchen cleaning up. The prep work was done, and the wine was making the rounds. January was feeling giddy at the thought of spending the night at Logan’s.

  Then, January finally listened to all her voicemails. Her mother’s patience was at an end, and if she didn’t show back up in Enterprise, Alabama Sunday night, there would be hell to pay, especially for Gus. Just two more nights here before she had to go, and she wanted to make the most of it. She headed toward her room when a wave of sadness hit her. There would be no riding to Logan’s tonight with her wr
ist. Tonight, she’d be sleeping alone and aching for him.

  Tomorrow night, she told herself. Tomorrow night, she’d leave with him after the get-together and spend her last glorious night of freedom with his cock buried deep inside her until it would imprint on her mind. She wanted to feel it for days, months, even years after the fact.

  Then Sunday, she’d board the short flight back and do what she must to save her sister the humiliation of having the Thorne family secrets exposed to all.

  Once in her room, she flopped back on the bed. She remembered the papers when she felt them crinkle behind her head. She sat up, grabbed the manila envelope, and thumbed through them. The title to Demon was signed over to Logan. He didn’t know it, but Stacy assured her it would be fine.

  The other papers were the deposits and accounts with her money, set up so Stacy was in charge of it so Chadwick or her parents wouldn’t know they existed. Stacy had not been happy about her not leaving Gus in charge or the fact that she needed to hide it to start with, but she did it. And I am so grateful she did.

  Only one thing left to do. Text the club and Logan so neither are expecting me. As soon as she hit send, she let the adrenaline drain away and the medicine take her to sleepy town. The meds really weren’t that strong; January was just a lightweight. She didn’t even bother to undress, but she dreamt of Logan. It must have been one hell of a dream because her phone ding woke her up, and she had her good hand in her pants.

  LOGAN: How’s the wrist?

  JANUARY: Good. Aches a little, but the doc gave me the good stuff. LOL Didja go to the club? Platinum is dying to dance for you.

  January felt a little slimy continuing on the “set Logan up so I can ease my guilt and make it easier to leave” campaign, but she couldn’t help herself.

  LOGAN: NO!!! I only go to see you and you aren’t there, Rabbit.

  LOGAN: I still want to see you, how do you feel about me sneaking in your window and fucking you until you realize you don’t wanna live without my cock?