The Marriage Pass
Page 22
Polyandry – a marriage of one wife to multiple husbands
• Open – Open relationships are varied enough to be an umbrella term for consensually non-monogamous relationships based on a primary couple who are “open” to sexual contact with others. The most common form of open relationship is that of a married or long-term committed couple that takes on a third (or sometimes fourth or fifth) partner whose involvement and role in the relationship is always secondary. Swinging, monogamish, polyamorous/polyfidelitous, and anarchistic relationships can all be considered “open.”
• Swinging - involves committed couples consensually exchanging partners specifically for sexual purposes.
• Monogamish - Popularized within the last few years by author Dan Savage, monogamish relationships are those in which a couple is primarily monogamous, but allows varying degrees of sexual contact with others.
• Polyamory and Polyfidelity Polyamory - a relationship style that allows people to openly conduct multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships simultaneously, ideally with the knowledge and consent of all involved in or affected by the relationships.
Polyfidelity - similar, except that it is a closed relationship style that requires sexual and emotional fidelity to an intimate group that is larger than two.
Polyaffective - emotionally intimate, non-sexual connections among people connected by a polyamorous relationship, such as two heterosexual men who are both in sexual relationships with the same woman and have co-spousal or brother-like relationships with each other.
• Relationship Anarchy – the belief that relationships should be bound by rules aside from what the people involved mutually agree upon
Key Values for CNM Relationships
• Trust
• Communication
• Consent
• Mutual Respect
Transitioning to a CNM Relationship
1) Be clear on what you want
2) Learn more about the possibilities
3) Ask lots of questions
4) Take it slow
5) Be prepared to learn as you go
6) Be prepared for jealousy
7) Schedule check-ins
8) Always choose your own adventure
Discussion Questions
1. Have you ever thought about someone other than your partner during sex?
2. How do you feel about “hall passes” (Permission to sleep with someone else)?
3. What is your personal definition of an “open relationship?”
4. Do you believe you can romantically be in love with more than one person?
5. How would you feel if you could have different relationships and share experiences and knowledge with several people?
6. What is your biggest regret in your relationship history?
7. What does “commitment” look like to you?
8. What pitfalls do people commonly experience when opening a relationship or starting to explore non-monogamy?
9. What does success in a relationship look like to you?
10. Do you enjoy variety in your sex life?
11. Is it difficult to remain faithful to one partner today? Why or why not?
12. How do you typically respond to jealousy and what are your jealousy “triggers?”
13. Do you trust your partner?
14. Is cheating a deal breaker in a relationship?
References
psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201905/updated-estimate-number-non-monogamous-people-in-us
psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201407/7-different-kinds-non-monogamy
ossacollective.com/open-up-your-relationship-questions/
thecouplescenter.org/better-understanding-open-relationships-and-non-monogamy/
bustle.com/articles/155289-how-to-explore-non-monogamy-in-your-relationship
exploringyourmind.com/know-seven-types-of-non-monogamy/
time.com/5330833/polyamory-monogamous-relationships/
healthline.com/health/polyamorous#terms-to-know