I didn’t speak. All I did was shut the door behind him and take a step forward. He turned to face me, uncertainty on his face. I reached for his neck and pulled him to me as I parted my lips. His hands moved to my waist and embraced me as our mouths came together again. I needed to taste him again. I couldn’t think clearly until I did. Our tongues intertwined and he backed me up against the wall. My fingers dove through his hair as he lifted me up, his hands cupping my bottom as he held me.
As our mouths broke apart, I gasped for air. Breathing heavily, his mouth moved down my neck and to my collar bone. I reached down and grabbed the hem of my shirt, jerking it quickly over my head. His mouth moved lower to my cleavage and the edge of my bra. I felt his teeth bite gently into my flesh as his desire grew. I could feel it bulging against me as he held me against the wall. I was growing wet with need but I didn’t want to rush into it. Not yet.
“God, you smell so good,” he groaned as he readjusted me so that he was holding me with only one arm. The other hand came around to cup my breast before gently lifting it from its cup. He rolled the nipple between his fingers before his mouth found it and suckled on it. I tossed my head back as I felt the sensation tug through my body and between my legs. I knew I was dangerously close to tossing myself over the edge and not caring. My brain was overwhelmed with desire and the ache that was growing between my legs. I wanted his hands on me, all of me. I knew I should stop but couldn’t come up with a logical reason why. As he carried me over to the couch, his mouth still on my breast, I felt as though he were worshipping my body and I was his queen. All of my common sense had left me and the only thing left was this animalistic side of me that was focused on only one thing. Being with Brett.
Chapter 5
Brett
God, she’s so beautiful. How did I manage to get so lucky?
That’s all that kept running through my mind as I carried her to the couch and laid her down gently. She was so light, it was effortless. Running my hands through her hair, I gripped it and pulled back slightly so that she would expose her neck. My lips came down on that silky soft skin and nibbled slightly. It was as if she tasted of sunshine and warmth, although I couldn’t have told you what those things tasted like. Still, that was what my brain seemed to be filled with. Bright, happy and home. A soothing feeling that I didn’t want to let go of.
Tugging my shirt off as I hovered over her, the look in her eyes was pure lust. I could see she was lost in her desire which only made me want to take her more. I left my jeans on so that I wouldn’t be too tempted. While there was a part of me that wanted to yank our clothes off and drive myself into her, I wanted to make sure she was more than ready for me. I had thought about this possibility so many times that I didn’t want to rush it. This had to be right. I didn’t want to blow it the first time we were together. She needed to see I was there for her and not just trying to add another notch to my bedpost. Leslie was more than just a fling, she was someone I had thought about for so long she seemed to almost be a permanent fixture in my life. Despite the fact that she had been absent for the last handful of years.
I could feel my cock straining against my jeans and boxers. It seemed to have a mind of its own at the moment and all it could do was struggle to be free. Having my hips cradled between her legs as I peppered kisses across her flesh was far too tempting, so I moved lower again. I slid down between her breasts and kissed beneath them, my hands were feather light as they moved over her body. Tickling, teasing and exploring every single peak and valley that made up her body.
I slid my hands down her body and began to unbutton her jeans. Our mouths met again and my tongue dipped into her mouth. Her arms were around my neck, pulling me closer. My fingers got the fly of her jeans undone and I felt lace brush against my skin. I knew I was going too fast, so I moved back up to her bra and unhooked it. She helped me remove it and I tossed it to the floor. Seeing her lying beneath me topless was like a fantasy come true. Her nipples were hard peaks that my mouth just had to conquer. I suckled and nipped at one while my fingers rolled the other. Meanwhile, I resisted the urge to return my hand to her lacy panties to explore what they held. I longed to feel her wetness on my fingers and I groaned as I thought about it. I wanted to dip my fingers inside her, spreading her open wide and plunging deep inside her. Claiming her as mine, at least for tonight.
I was getting close to losing my restraint when I thought of something. Something that I couldn’t quite ignore, no matter how much I wanted to. I had to ask before it was too late.
“Leslie, wait,” I said, almost breathless. “I have to ask you something.”
“What?” she said softly. “Can’t it wait?” Her hands were tugging me close and I wanted to say that it could, but I knew better.
“I have to ask, are you a virgin?” Once the words left my mouth, I felt her grow still beneath me.
“Why do you ask?” she said, speaking so softly I almost didn’t hear her.
“Because it makes a big difference if you are,” I said gently.
She nodded and then bit her lip. A war began to wage in her eyes and I regretted asking, even though I had to know.
“Well then it should be much more special than this,” I said. “You deserve more than some spur of the moment sort of thing. Maybe some other time we can…” I was trying to explain but she placed her hand on my chest and cut me off.
“No, there won’t be another time,” she said sternly as she slid out from beneath me. “This was a mistake.” She stood and walked across the floor to where she’d tossed her shirt before tugging it on. “I should have known better. I don’t know what I was thinking.” She was shaking her head as she retrieved my shirt from the floor and then tossed it to me. “You should go.”
“Leslie, I didn’t…” I began, but she cut me off again.
“No, it’s fine. It’s probably better this way, anyway. Please, I think I need to get some rest. I’m kind of tired now, actually. Long flight.” She faked a yawn and then stretched.
“Yeah, sure,” I said sadly. I knew that somehow I had struck a nerve with her, but I didn’t mean to. If only I knew exactly what it was that had gone on inside her head when I asked, maybe I could understand. But as it was, I didn’t. The only thing I could do at this point was to do as she asked and give her the space she wanted. I pulled my shirt over my head, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat. “When you get up in the morning, come over to my room and we’ll start looking at penthouses online, okay?”
She nodded. “Sure, that works. I may sleep in a little bit, though.”
“Take your time,” I said as I slowly made my way to the door. “I’ll be ready when you are.”
She nodded as she followed me to the door. “Thanks for understanding,” she said softly. When I turned to look at her, I could see a hint of something that I didn’t understand. It could have been sadness, regret, or hurt. My guess was she felt as though she shouldn’t have been fooling around with a guy like me. I pulled the door open.
“No problem,” I said with a nod. “Sweet dreams.” I stepped out into the hall and turned around. She gave me a faint apologetic smile before slowly closing the door. As I stood there, I heard her turn the lock, putting another barrier between us. Hearing that noise, it seemed almost symbolic. As if she were shutting me out for good.
Standing in the hall, I tried to decide what I was going to do next. A part of me wanted to do what I normally would have done. Anytime I was rejected by a woman, I had a tendency to go to the nearest bar and order enough drinks to drown my sorrows and find someone else to replace her. But this time, I just wasn’t feeling it. Even as I thought about doing it, I knew no one would be able to make me forget about our time together. No amount of alcohol could numb the sting of what had just happened.
I turned and walked the few steps to my room across the hall and opened the door. As I shut it behind me, I realized it was probably for the best, anyway. Leslie was a different kind of girl, I knew that f
rom when we used to spend time together all those years ago. She was dynamic and passionate. Full of life and love, even if she didn’t realize it. She was a much better person than I could ever even dream of being. There was no way she would ever be happy with someone like me.
Walking toward the wide window that looked out across the town, I let that thought sink in. That was the crux of the situation. She was a beautiful, smart woman now. She needed a stable man in her life that she could build something with. Someone that could provide a normal life for her. That certainly wasn’t me. Leslie deserved to have a big, beautiful family with the white picket fence and PTA meetings. Where she could feel safe and secure.
Granted, I could give her passion. We could have a whirlwind love affair, but I could never settle down. Not after what I’d seen of marriage in my family. The struggles, arguments, and pain that came with marriage just weren’t for me. I never wanted that in my life. Marriage was not something I was even close to being interested in. It would tear a person down. Bring out the absolute worst in them. I hated the thought of participating in something that I had only seen break people into mere fragments of who they once were. Because I was certain my mom wasn’t always the way she was now. And having her try to commit suicide because of my father was another indication that marriage was outdated and irrelevant for me.
Turning away from the window, I pulled off my shirt and kicked off my shoes. May as well get comfortable, I thought. I found the remote on the coffee table and turned on the tv. I flipped through the channels for a while but didn’t find anything interesting. Turning it back off, I tossed the remote and stood. Heading for the bedroom, I felt restless. All I could think about was my hands on Leslie’s skin. I could still taste her when I licked my lips. Just thinking about her caused my little friend in my jeans to stir. I pushed the thoughts away and resigned myself to the reality of the situation. She didn’t want me.
I really wanted her, but we were just far too different for any of it to work. I tossed the blankets back on the bed and undid my jeans, letting them fall to the floor. I wanted her to stay the way she was, and I was terrified that if we did become a couple, I would change that. I would mess up or hurt her and she’d become someone else. I wasn’t sure if I could live with myself if that were the case. If I broke the one woman I had managed to truly care about in my life, I would hate myself.
Pulling the covers up over myself, I made up my mind. I would keep things friendly between us, but that would be it. I’d respect her feelings and wishes. I still wanted her to help me decorate whatever penthouse I ended up with, but I wouldn’t try to pull her close anymore. She deserved the absolute best, and I knew that wasn’t me.
Laying back against the pillow, I closed my eyes and slipped into a dreamless sleep.
The next morning, I woke feeling a bit better about my decision. The night before, while I knew what I needed to do, I had felt more resigned than anything. But that morning, I knew I was making the right choice. Tossing back the blankets, I sat up and began to get ready for the day. I pulled out my favorite pair of jeans and a white v neck shirt. I came to London for a fresh start, and that’s what I was focusing on for the day. No worrying about the day before or anything that happened in the past. They always say to stay in the present moment, so that was what I was going to do.
Once dressed and ready for the day, I found the room service menu and began to deliberate what I wanted. My body still felt a little off from the time change, but I was determined to adjust as smoothly as possible. While I was debating on breakfast, I turned on the tv to the morning news for a little noise. As the weatherman began to spell out the weekly forecast, I deliberated between eggs and sausage or something simpler like a bowl of cereal.
A soft knock at the door startled me. At first I wasn’t entirely sure it wasn’t someone knocking at a neighboring room. Yet when I headed to the door and looked out through the peephole, I saw Leslie standing there nervously. I hurried to open the door and let her in.
“Good morning,” I said as I pulled it open. She was standing there looking gorgeous as usual. She had jeans that came to just above her ankle and a large, thin light grey sweater with a long necklace. Bracelets and rings of all colors were on her hands and wrists. Her hair seemed wavy today giving her a carefree look.
“Morning,” she said with a nervous look. “Brett, about last night…”
“Say no more, it’s fine,” I said waving her concerns away. “Let’s just focus on the task at hand.”
“Oh, okay,” she said with a single nod. She seemed a little surprised but relieved.
“I was just getting ready to order some breakfast. Would you like something?” I asked as I turned and moved farther into the room.
She shut the door behind her and followed, looking around the room. She seemed to be noticing every detail that I hadn’t even bothered to look at.
“Sure,” she finally said. “It’s amazing how different this room feels from mine.”
“You think?” I asked as I looked around. I wasn’t blind, I knew it looked different but I hadn’t given it much thought. “I suppose this one is a bit more masculine than yours.”
“Kind of,” she said as she looked around. “I’d consider it more gender neutral if I were to describe it. But my room does seem a bit more feminine, so in comparison…” she shrugged and seemed to realize she was going off on a tangent. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine,” I said. “It’s your thing, I can’t blame you for looking closer than I do. So, eggs, sausage and toast good for you?”
“Yeah, that would be great. Thank you,” she said with a nod. She moved to the large window and ran her hand down the curtains, as if she were determining the material. I went to the phone and began to call room service. A minute later I was hanging up.
“The realtor sent me an email with all the available penthouses listed right now. I thought we could go through the list and see what ones we might want to look at,” I said as I took a seat on the couch.
Leslie also moved to the couch, and took a seat at the far end. “You don’t need my help picking where you want to live, I’m sure,” she scoffed.
“Technically, no,” I admitted. “But I thought since you’re going to be designing the place for me, you could help me pick which one would be the best for what you have in mind.”
“I actually do have some ideas already,” she admitted. “I know how you like that brown leather, dark wood, cigar room look.”
“That I do,” I said with a nod. “Of course I don’t want the whole place to look like that. But I do want something of a masculine, industrial look with a hint of modern to it.”
“Oh, I have some great ideas then,” she said happily. “But you’re right, it would really depend on the space. You would probably want a more open floor plan for something like that. Maybe some high ceilings, lots of windows for natural light, things like that.”
“Exactly. I kind of wouldn’t mind a nice balcony too,” I said, starting to get into this idea. “But we’d have to make it so there was a bit of privacy.”
“Of course,” she said simply.
A knock on the door and a muffled “room service” broke our concentration. I hurried to the door and let the man in with our food before he quickly let himself out.
We moved to the table in the corner and I carried my laptop over with us. “So here are the places,” I said as I brought up the list. “I thought we’d go down the list, make a note of which ones we want to see and then I’ll make a call.”
She nodded as she began to dig into her breakfast. “This is really good,” she muttered as she began to fork a piece of sausage into her mouth.
I smiled and dug into my plate. She was right, for room service, it was pretty good.
We spent the next forty-five minutes going down the list of all the possible places. A few received an immediate “no” from her because she felt the layout just wouldn’t look good with what I was wanting, but a couple she se
emed excited to check out. As we looked through them, I started feeling like this was going to work. We could do this and not be awkward. Just because we had so much chemistry between us all that time ago and yesterday didn’t mean we couldn’t be professional. Besides, I knew she was seriously talented at designing and if I could help her start her career this way, so much the better. She should be doing what she loved and that wasn’t being an air hostess.
“If that one is as amazing as it looks online, you have to get it,” she said as she leaned back in her chair. She crossed her legs and tucked her hair behind her ear and I couldn’t help but watch. I knew she was off limits, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t enjoy the view anyway.
“You think?” I asked. “But what about the other? I think it was the second or third one. You seemed to really like that one too.”
“True,” she admitted. “They’re both amazing spaces. I can’t believe we only picked four out of all of those.”
I shrugged. “None of the others were right, and that’s fine with me. I’m a patient man. If I want something, I know how to wait.” I realized what I’d said and instantly felt awkward. Of course, I meant what I said in both meanings. But my words hung heavy between us as I struggled to try to think of something else to say. Anything to break this building pressure. She looked away and suddenly seemed interested in the print of the wallpaper. “I’ll call the realtor and tell her which ones we are interested in looking at.” She nodded and I reached for my phone.
“Hey Lucy, it’s Brett Jackson. I think I’ve narrowed it down to four that I would like to take a look at if you aren’t busy.” I told Lucy which ones we liked and she promised to meet us at the first one in thirty minutes.
His Second Chance Page 5
