Hearts on Fire

by Amber Thielman

  “Is that what you would do if you were in her shoes?” I asked. Julia looked away from me, lips pursed. She didn’t say anything, but I knew her answer. I stood from the couch and handed her the bowl of popcorn, setting my beer bottle on the counter.

  “Jealousy is not a good look on you.”

  I made my way around the couch until I could grip her shoulders in my fingers, massaging her, trying to relax her tired, strained muscles. Julia groaned and rolled her head to the side with a deep sigh.

  “I’m not jealous,” she said. “I’m just...concerned for the department. There’s been a lot of talk around town. People are afraid she’s going to get hurt, or worse, hurt someone else.”

  “Don’t be concerned,” I said. “Having our first female firefighter on the crew is a major success. You of all people should know that. It will be good for this town.”

  “Don’t count on it.” Julia paused and contemplated her next words. “She’s going to bring that place down in flames.”

  She turned her body around so that one hand was on my belt, and with the other she grabbed the collar of my shirt to pull me down to kiss her. She tasted good, like peppermint and sugar, and I cupped my hand behind her head to kiss her harder. As her fingers sneaked down below my belt, I closed my eyes, and for a moment—just a brief moment—it wasn’t Julia I was kissing.

  Chapter 9

  Hallie

  “Less than forty-eight hours ago, our town’s fire department welcomed the first female onto the team. While I initially advised against such a move, my advice was ignored. It remains to be seen how things go from here. Hopefully it was the right decision for this town.”

  I turned up the volume on the TV, eyes narrowed as Mayor Jensen spoke in front of the camera, seeming to look directly at me.

  “Bullshit,” I said. “He hates that I’m there. The whole town does.”

  “How do you feel about a female being in the men’s department?” a nosey, small-town reporter asked. There was hesitation from the Mayor, and my hands automatically clenched around the remote.

  “That’s to be determined,” he said finally. “I can’t say for sure so soon. I guess we’ll see how it goes. That’s all we can do.”

  “What a douche.” I muted the TV and plopped down next to Jeremy on the couch. “If Mayor Jensen doesn’t approve of me, neither will his narrow-minded, small-town cult followers.”

  “Did you expect anything less?” Jeremy asked. He didn’t look up from his laptop, but continued to type away, keys clacking beneath his fingers as he typed up lecture notes for his next class.

  “I had hoped for a little respect.” I tossed the remote aside and scowled at the TV, itching to reach my hand through the screen so I could strangle the mayor. Raising the glass of red wine to my lips, I took a sip and leaned my head back to stare at the ceiling.

  “We live in a conservative small town, baby. You knew you didn’t have support even before you applied.”

  My head lolled to the side to look at him, and suddenly it was my fiancé I wanted to strangle instead. So much for any support from him.

  “We live in Washington, Jer! This isn’t Alabama. I guess I hoped that making it would change people’s minds. Empower the women in this shitty town to go for what they want, despite the media telling them otherwise.”

  “These people are stuck in their beliefs. We’re living in the 18th century here, Hallie. If you wanted so badly to be a fireman—”

  “Firefighter.”

  “—then you should have applied for Seattle EMS instead.”

  “Right.” I reached for the remote again, clicked off the TV, and closed my eyes, trying to wish away the incoming headache. “These people need to get the hell over it. I’m still me. I’m still the girl they all know and love. That hasn’t changed.”

  “Yeah, but now you’re a hussy.” He finally looked up from his computer, pushing his glasses back in place. “According to them, anyway,” he added quickly, but the damage was already done. I scowled at him, fingers twitching with the desire to wrap around his neck and throttle him.

  “Oh, yeah, that’s right. I’m a whore for wanting to do my job.”

  “Hal.” Jeremy shook his head and removed his glasses, rubbing his eyelids with the tips of his fingers. When he opened them again he looked at me. “You can do whatever you want to do, sweetheart. Just don’t expect to change people’s morals or beliefs along with it.”

  I opened my mouth to argue with him some more, but Jeremy cut me off.

  “Your mom called here earlier looking for you, maybe you should give her a call back?”

  “What a great idea.” Jeremy ignored the hint of sarcasm in my voice. “I can’t wait to hear how much of a disappointment she thinks I am. Maybe if I’m really lucky my father will put his two cents in as well.” I pulled out my cellphone and went to the kitchen to pour another glass of wine, holding up the near empty bottle. “We have more of this, right?”

  Jeremy ignored me as I filled a glass halfway and dialed my parent’s number, holding the phone steady between my ear and shoulder.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Mama.” I took a long swig of the wine, wishing I’d started drinking earlier than this. There was a long sigh on the other end of the line.

  “It’s good to hear your voice, sweetie. I’m glad you finally called.”

  “You have my number.” I corked the wine bottle and sat back down on the couch, propping my feet up on the coffee table. In the background on the other end of the line, I heard my dad’s voice, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying, which was probably a good thing.

  “Your father sends his love.” I knew right away she was full of shit.

  “Does he? Then put him on the phone so he can tell me himself.”

  “He’s preoccupied right now, dear.”

  “No, he’s not.” I sipped the wine, allowing the fruity taste to coat my tongue. Two glasses in, and I could finally feel my body start to relax.

  “Hallie, don’t cause issues. He’s simply busy right now.”

  “He hasn’t spoken to me since before the swearing in,” I reminded her. “And in fact, neither have you. I know he’s furious with me, but what about you?”

  “Hallie.” There was a warning in her tone, the same tone she’d used years before to shush my brother and me so we wouldn’t disturb Dad’s TV show. “Maybe if you just talked to him. Apologized for—”

  “Apologize for what, Mama?” I sat up so abruptly red wine sloshed over the rim of the glass and into my lap. Jeremy shot me a withering look as he lifted his precious laptop out of the way of danger, but I barely noticed. “Apologize for working my ass off? For being accepted into the department? For being a woman who knows that I can do what I want to do and not stay at home cooking for my boyfriend? Christ almighty, Mother.”

  “—language, Hallie.”

  “Or should I apologize for finally doing something that I love, and that I’m good at?” I drew in a breath, trying to compose myself before I really lost it on her. Next to me, Jeremy seemed to be pretending that I didn’t exist, and that was fine by me. Had he wanted to speak up, I probably would have punched him.

  “You’re a woman,” she said finally.

  “So say my breasts.”

  “You are a woman who should be doing a woman’s job, not fraternizing with an all-male club.”

  I closed my eyes and relaxed the super-grip I had on the wineglass.

  “Mama,” I replied carefully. “I love you, but welcome to the 21st century, where women can now do what men do. Sometimes better.”

  “Did you watch the television program just now?” It was like I hadn’t spoken.

  “Yes, I did. I’ve concluded that Mayor Jensen has a stick so far up his ass I don’t believe they’ll ever find it.”

  The click in my ear was expected, but it hurt just the same. I tossed my cell phone onto the coffee table and leaned back again. Jeremy had gotten up and was now standing at the kitchen
counter with his laptop, brow furrowed as he stared at computer screen in front of him. “That was charming.” He didn’t look away from the screen.

  “It’s the truth.”

  “Be careful, or you might just lose the people who love you the most.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing.” Jeremy shut his laptop and finally looked at me over the glasses perched on his face. “I have work to do at the office. Don’t wait up.”

  “You’re going back to campus?” I sat up, sloshing red wine all over my blouse, and looked down. “What a waste.”

  Jeremy shoved his laptop into the carry case and hooked his school bag over one shoulder. “Yes, I have a lot of work to do.”

  “You can’t work from home?”

  “No, Hallie, I don’t need the distraction.” He ran one hand through his disheveled hair and turned away from me. “Like I said, don’t wait up.”

  I watched him walk out the door without a kiss goodbye or even a single word. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Lately, Jeremy spent more time at his campus office than he did at home, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he was still angry about the fire department, or if it was me in general that was turning him away from home.

  “Fine.” I glared at the closed door. “Be a jerk.”

  Moping in my own self-pity, I poured another glass of wine and swallowed it down. I had few friends to call, mostly because for the past few years I’d been solely dedicated to getting onto the squad. Often putting my already rocky relationships on the backburner. While I usually didn’t mind (an enjoyable book and some music could solve that problem), I felt extra lonely tonight; shunned by my own squad and fiancé in a matter of days.

  I was about to drift off to sleep on the couch when my phone buzzed on the coffee table. I reached for it, expecting something from Jeremy, but it was from a number I didn’t recognize.

  Will you be back tomorrow?

  I stared at the text, squinting at the screen, wondering who in the hell had my number. Finally, it dawned on me and I typed a quick reply.

  Cap Becker?

  Yes, sorry.

  My fingers hovered over the letters on the phone, mouth twitching with a tiny smile.

  You must have watched TV tonight.

  I caught a bit of it.

  I smiled despite my mood and shook my head. There was no doubt the entire town had probably tuned into the speech, and that included the entire department who already despised me.

  I guess we’ll see, I replied, and then set my phone aside. I wasn’t playing games, but I also wasn’t in the mood to reassure him that the most hated girl in town would, indeed, be back tomorrow to endure more harassment from his crew. I guess that was to be determined.

  A few hours later, and still smiling slightly, I climbed into bed and put my phone on silent. I almost didn’t even care that it was almost midnight and Jeremy was still gone, because, for once, someone actually cared if I came back or not.

  Chapter 10

  Tate

  I guess we’ll see.

  I stared at Hallie’s response on my phone, fingers typing slowly at the response I had formed in my mind.

  I hope you do.

  Glancing up, I watched Julia pull her hair back for bed. Then she spritzed herself with that delicious scent I loved so much and smiled at me. I smiled back and looked back down at my phone, thumb hovering over the delete button. I pressed down, and my response vanished from the screen before it could ever send. I set the phone aside.

  “You look beautiful.”

  “Why thank you.” Julia crawled into bed next to me and rested her head on my chest, fingers trailing down my chest and abdomen. “You look concerned.” Her eyes met mine.

  “I’m fine.”

  “I don’t know if I believe you.” Her lips curved seductively, her hand sneaking down below the sheets. She leaned up, kissed me, then pulled back as her hand enveloped me. “Maybe I can fix that.”

  I woke the next morning for work before Julia was awake, grabbing a cup of joe before I headed to the station for my shift.

  I wasn’t sure what to think about Hallie’s response last night; after the Mayor’s speech, I wouldn’t have blamed her if she chose not to show. His words had been inappropriate, and in a tight-knit town like ours, they would also have a lasting effect on the community. If the Mayor didn’t want Hallie on the department, neither would anyone else.

  One of our engines was out on a call when I got to the office, and Kyle was cooking up breakfast in the kitchen for the rest of the crew. I greeted my men and poured a second cup of coffee, quick to notice that Hallie was nowhere to be seen.

  “Late night?” Kyle asked, plating some eggs and bacon for me.

  “I have a lot on my mind.” I took a seat at the table and reached for the paper, not really seeing the words but running my eyes over the text, anyway.

  “I wouldn’t read that.” Jake yanked the paper out from under my nose. He slammed it shut and tossed it aside, then proceeded to shovel more eggs into his mouth. I stared at him.

  “Why?”

  “Some reporter wrote a shit piece on Hallie, essentially highlighting everything the Mayor said on TV last night, along with statistics on every sexual harassment case in male-dominated careers in the last five years.” It was Kyle who spoke, and I looked up at him, scoffing.

  “No skin off your back, though, right?” It wasn’t my intention to sound so bitter, but I knew damn well that Hallie’s acceptance onto the squad had infuriated Kyle and many of my other men. If she felt like she wasn’t getting the support she needed, it was our fault. Mostly mine for letting it slide.

  “Too bad it wasn’t enough to keep her away,” Kyle muttered. Just then, the kitchen doors opened, and Hallie appeared, a notepad in her hand and a pencil settled behind one ear. Her long hair was down today, framing her freckled face in such a way that I had to do a double take.

  “Ah,” she said, spotting me. “You made it.”

  “You’ve been here the whole time?”

  “In the bay, just doing my job, Cap.”

  I looked at Kyle, who shrugged and rolled his eyes. I think it surprised the entire table of men—me included—when he grabbed a plate for Hallie, dropped some eggs and toast on there, and handed it to her. She looked at it quizzically for a moment then muttered, ‘Thanks’ under her breath.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d be back,” I said.

  Hallie sat down between Jake and me at the table with a slight shrug, reaching for the paper that Jake had taken from me earlier to spare me the ridiculous article.

  “Nope.” Three different voices lifted in unison. Jake grappled for the newspaper in Hallie’s hand before tossing it to Kyle, who dropped it into the trash without missing a beat. Hallie stared at us, her mouth slightly agape, empty hand still raised in confusion.

  “I don’t understand what just happened here.”

  “Yesterday’s paper,” Jake explained, ripping apart some bacon with his teeth. Fortunately, Hallie seemed to accept this answer as she turned back to the table and took a bite of toast.

  We all watched her eat in silence, six pairs of men’s eyes on her face, waiting for something, anything, that would acknowledge the mayor’s speech last night. She said nothing to any of us, only continued to chew as she marked off supplies on the notepad, humming quietly to herself as if she were the only one in the room. Finally, after what seemed like ages, the silence in the room was broken by the alarm.

  “Thank God,” Hallie said. “Now you can focus on your jobs instead of me.”

  “Ladder One, Ambulance One, respond to 518 Park Avenue for reports of a motorized vehicle accident.”

  “You’re with me today,” I said as Hallie stood from the table. Kyle, Jake, and Tanner were already on their way out.

  “Aye-aye, Captain.”

  Chapter 11

  Hallie

  Luckily for me, Tate didn’t seem interested in small talk as we hopped int
o the ambulance to head to the scene. I flipped on the lights and sirens, pulling out behind the fire truck being driven by Kyle. As we drove, I kept my eyes on the road and ears strained towards the radio, waiting for any updates on the scene. The voice was garbled and filled with static, and I could barely hear anything over the pounding of my own heart.

  “Are you ready for this?” Tate asked as we pulled up to the scene. The police were already there, their cars encircling the accident as they stood by to keep peeping, prying eyes away from the victims.

  “Ready as I’ll ever be.” I grabbed the trauma bag and followed Tate past the first officer, who nodded solemnly at us. I wasn’t sure what to expect as we rounded the car, but what we found was not it.

  One of the officers, a younger male on his hands and knees, was giving CPR to one of the victims on the road. He looked back at us at Tate approached, eyes wide with angst as he scrambled to the side to let us through. “He had a pulse five minutes ago, but now I can’t find it.”

  I kneeled next to the little boy, searching his face for any sign of life. He was deathly pale, almost white, and the dark eyelashes looked out of place against his porcelain face. My hands shook as I checked for any signs of life. No breathing, no pulse. Behind me, from the ambulance, being held back by a police officer, a woman was screaming the boy’s name, Jacob, over and over again. Her terrified wails echoed through the air, piercing my heart with a shard of ice.

  “It’s the mom,” Tate said. “She’s alive.”

  Without thinking any further about it, I placed my hands firmly over the little boy’s chest and started CPR. Behind me, Tate was grabbing a pediatric bag-valve-mask from the BLS bag.

  “Starting compressions,” I said. The boy’s body felt so small beneath my hands, a chest that was still fragile, bone stills growing and forming. Tate was on the other side of the little boy, holding the mask over his mouth as he pushed air into the boy’s lungs. He wasn’t saying anything, but I could see his lips moving as he worked, brow furrowed in concentration.