by J. Nathan
He nodded.
I peeked in the window, noting Shay alone inside at the conference table looking at her laptop screen. I looked to the guy who stood in the hallway with me. “I’ll give you fifty bucks to leave.”
“What?”
“I’ll give you fifty bucks to leave,” I repeated.
“Are you serious?”
“Deathly.”
“Okay.”
I grabbed my wallet from my back pocket, pulled out a fifty, and handed it to him. “Thanks, man.”
The guy nabbed the cash then took off.
A sense of relief washed over me as I checked my phone. It was seven and no one else was there. I twisted the doorknob, causing Shay to glance up as I stepped inside the small room. Disappointment spread across her face.
“Looks like it’s just you and me,” I said with a smile.
She closed her eyes as if pained by the notion.
I sat down at the table in the seat next to hers. “Just like old times, huh?”
“Why are you here?” she asked.
“Because I need a tutor. I told you that.”
Her eyes shot to the closed door. “No one else is out there?”
“Nope.”
She closed her laptop. “I’m gonna tell Professor Raymond this was a bust.”
“But I’m here.”
“Right.” She packed her laptop into her backpack.
“What’s it gonna take for you to help me?”
“Hell freezing over.” She rolled back in her chair and stood up.
“Seriously, Shay? I’m sorry about what happened between us.”
She balked. “Nothing happened between us. That’s the point. You made me think something did.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. It was a mistake.”
“Is that how things work in your life? You say sorry and all is forgiven?”
I didn’t say anything.
“Because in my world, people who use you and lie to you get what’s coming to them.” She heaved her backpack over her shoulders and walked to the door just as it opened.
Professor Raymond stepped inside. “Looks like we got one.”
Shay froze.
“Hey, Professor,” I said. “I’m so glad you arranged this because I’m struggling to keep up in your class. But speaking from experience, Shay is an awesome tutor.”
He glanced to her backpack on her back. “Did you just get here?”
Shay stood awkwardly with her hands grasping the straps of her backpack. “Yup,” she lied. “I was running late.” She turned slowly and glared at me as she pulled out a chair and removed her backpack.
“Don’t mind me,” Professor Raymond said, pulling out a chair at the end of the table. “I’m just going to do some work down here. Pretend I’m not even here.”
Shay huffed as she sat down, retrieving her laptop from her bag and opening it on the table.
“That quiz you made me for the last test was a lifesaver,” I said, making sure Professor Raymond heard.
He smiled.
“Maybe we can do another one of those,” I suggested to Shay, knowing she was hating every second of this.
“Great idea,” she said through clenched teeth. “But how about I show you how to set one up. You can input the words and definitions. That way you’re learning as you create the quiz.”
“Brilliant idea. Professor Raymond was smart to get you.”
She leveled me with scathing eyes.
I smiled, but my smile was short-lived. I realized by having me do all the inputting, we were sitting in silence and she barely had to speak to me.
Damn her.
At ten minutes to eight, Professor Raymond slipped out, citing a dinner date.
“Thank God,” Shay said as soon as he was gone, closing her laptop and packing it into her bag.
“Whoa. It’s not even eight yet,” I argued.
“So?”
“So, I get you until eight.”
“You don’t get me, Kason. You get physics.”
“You can’t hate me forever.”
She grabbed her backpack. “Watch me.” She yanked open the door and walked out of the conference room.
I stuffed my things into my bag and ran after her, catching up with her outside the building. “I’m not letting you walk home alone. I’ve got my Jeep.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you,” she said as she continued walking.
I kept pace with her. “Well, I’m not letting you walk alone.”
“Well, then enjoy the walk.” She quickened her pace, taking the path toward her dorm as I slowed to a stop.
My Jeep was parked there, but I couldn’t just let her walk alone across the dark campus. I took off after her, following on foot.
The five-minute walk to her dorm was steeped in silence. A long ominous silence. I considered apologizing again, but it would likely only irritate her and not have the outcome I was hoping for.
When we reached the dorm, she flashed her key card and opened the door. I expected her to at least glance back at me once she stepped inside, but she didn’t. And, I couldn’t even blame her.
CHAPTER 16
Kason
Another long week of Shay not acknowledging my existence in physics class passed. I didn’t want to be the asshole she, and everyone else apparently, thought I was. Yes, I was a guy who screwed up. But I deserved a do-over. The girl just wasn’t budging.
And, since I wasn’t a patient guy, I did what any desperate guy would do, I headed to study group Wednesday night. I cursed under my breath when I spotted the guy from the first week standing outside the conference room. Was the douche trying to extort me or was he really here to study?
“What’s up, dude? She in there?” I asked.
Excitement flashed in his eyes, dollar signs no doubt cha-chinging in his brain.
“You going in?” I asked as I grabbed the doorknob.
Disappointment crossed his features. “I’m not sure,” he said as if he was still holding out hope that I’d offer him money again.
I left his ass in the hallway and walked inside the conference room, more nervous than I realized. My heart began to pound as I found Shay on her laptop, her eyes focused on her screen. I quietly closed the door behind me, pulled out the rolling chair, and sat down.
Shay still didn’t look away from her laptop screen.
“Hey, Shay.”
She said nothing.
“Did you have a nice day?”
She said nothing.
Okay.
“Hey, you two,” Professor Raymond said as he swept into the room, taking a seat at the head of the conference table with a stack of papers.
“Hey,” I said, never so happy to see the professor. Now Shay had to talk to me.
“Hi,” Shay said to him, finally speaking.
“Don’t mind me,” he continued as he popped his earbuds into his ears. “I’ve got a bunch of essays to correct.”
I looked to Shay. “I read Monday’s homework. I’m a total pro on Kepler’s now.”
She finally looked at me with cold eyes, probably glad the professor couldn’t hear us because of his earbuds. “You knew a few basic terms.”
I cocked my head, hating the coldness she was exuding. “Shay?”
She huffed. “You’re here for help. So, I’ll help. But that’s all you’ll get, or I swear I will leave.”
“Agreed,” I said, taking whatever small morsel she’d toss my way.
She exhaled as she grabbed her notebook from her backpack. She opened it and flipped through until she found a blank page inside and pushed the open notebook toward me. “Suppose a small planet is discovered that is fourteen times as far from the sun as the Earth's distance is from the sun. Use Kepler’s Law of Harmonies to predict the orbital period of such a planet.”
I stared at her as if she’d spoken a language I didn’t know. Because let’s be honest. That was a language I didn’t know.
She pulled her notebo
ok back and jotted something down on the page before facing it back toward me. “This is the given.”
I glanced at the paper. T2/R3 = 2.97 x 10-19 s2/m3
She sat back in her chair and her eyes returned to her laptop screen. “Let me know if you need me.”
Again, she’d given me a task to keep me occupied and her from having to speak to me. Damn her.
I spent the next thirty minutes trying to work out the problem. Much of the paper was filled with scribbled out math, and I realized whatever I’d been working on made no sense. I had no idea what I was doing. It was one thing to remember a few definitions, but I sucked at the math part. I finally turned the paper toward Shay. “Am I even close?”
She pulled her attention away from whatever she was doing on her laptop and glanced down at my work. “Well…” Her eyes moved over the messy paper. “Your first mistake was you didn’t rearrange to solve for Tp.”
“Oh, of course, I didn’t rearrange for Tp.”
“Do you really understand that?” she asked.
“Hell no.”
Her shoulders dropped on a huff. “Here.” She jotted a formula down on the paper, explaining each step she took as she wrote it. I listened to everything she said and followed along on the paper, trying to grasp something that made no sense at all. “So, Tplanet = 52.4 yr,” she explained as she wrote it.
“Of course, it does,” I mumbled.
“Nothing?” she asked, noting my confusion.
I shook my head.
“Let me think about how to approach this. We can try again next week.”
Next week? “Okay.”
“You’re not a lost cause, Kason,” she said as she closed her laptop. “You just need a little assistance.”
“Well, I appreciate your patience. I know it can’t be easy to explain something that’s so easy to you to someone who only sees gibberish. Let me get you a coffee or something for all your help,” I offered.
“I’m fine. I need to get back to the dorm.”
“Hot date?” I joked, not wanting her to leave yet.
She stuffed her computer into the bag, clearly trying to be away from me. “Something like that.”
Was she really going out with someone? Why did I suddenly have the urge to stalk her dorm to see? I was not only selfish but I was sick, too. “Well, let me give you a ride so you don’t make Prince Charming wait.”
“No.”
“Shay, come on. What’ll it hurt to take a ride?”
She said nothing, just heaved her backpack onto her back.
“Maybe I should meet him.”
With a scrunched face, she looked at me. “What?”
“You know, make sure his intentions are good. I’m just looking out for you.”
She scoffed. “Ironic.”
My insides twisted into an angry knot, resenting her response. When the hell was she gonna let go of her animosity toward me? A breath whooshed out of me as my thoughts reverted to Thayer’s and Giselle’s words, and I felt like shit for getting annoyed with her.
She looked to Professor Raymond and raised her voice. “Good night, Professor.”
He pulled out his earbuds. “Oh, you two are leaving?”
“Yes, he’s good for tonight,” she explained to him.
“Good night,” he said with an appreciative smile.
Shay turned and walked out of the room.
Knowing she wouldn’t let me drive her home, I followed her out of the building. “I’m gonna make sure you get home okay.”
“No need,” she called without turning around.
“Peace of mind,” I said without stopping.
Our footsteps were the only sound as we followed the path back to her dorm. Again, I wanted to plead my case. I wanted to do anything for her to forgive me. But I chickened out.
She reached her dorm and flashed her keycard. I stopped, watching as she pulled open the front door. I couldn’t let her walk inside again without looking back. “Shay?”
I expected her to ignore me, but she paused, reluctantly turning to look at me.
“Be careful. It’s not only me. All guys suck.”
I expected a reaction—maybe even a grin—but she turned away from me and walked inside. Once the door slammed loudly behind her, I had a sinking feeling that she was never going to forgive me.
CHAPTER 17
Shay
Some people were incapable of sitting alone in a crowded room and tuning out all the noise. But, over the years, I’d gotten good at it. I could sit somewhere and just disappear into my thoughts. Sometimes that was a good thing, but other times, not so much. I picked away at my blueberry muffin, opting for breakfast as my lunch in the campus dining room closest to my next class.
“How’d your hot date go?”
Inwardly, I groaned. Besides study group, Kason had been good about leaving me alone. But the fact that he was approaching me outside study hall made me think he thought my threats were idle. I pulled in a calming breath before lifting my eyes and meeting his gaze. He looked ready to hit the mountain in dark snowboarding pants and a hoodie. “Excuse me?”
“Your date the other night. Did he treat you all right?”
“Fine,” I said, knowing I didn’t have a date the other night. He’d assumed it, and I didn’t correct him. But the truth was, the only hot date I had that night was with a long hot shower.
“You going out with him again?”
I shrugged. “Never know.”
He nodded, his hands playing with the takeout container in his hand. “I’m heading to snowboard.”
“I can see that.”
He nodded again as if stalling for some reason.
“Well, don’t break anything,” I said, trying to hurry him along.
His eyes widened. “Nothing like jinxing me, Little One.”
The use of his nickname for me sent a small zinger to my chest. I hadn’t felt much since the charity event. Everything that had happened—the lies, the manipulation, the embarrassment—dulled everything inside me. So, why the reaction to my nickname? I guess it brought me back to all those nights in the library. And, even when I hated him most, it still affected me.
“Well, I’ll see you Monday,” he said.
“Study the quizzes we made. I have a feeling he’ll ask a bunch of those questions on the midterm.”
He shot me a sad grin. “I will. Thanks.” He turned and left the dining hall, leaving me sitting there wondering why he kept trying to make things right. Why he kept trying to earn my forgiveness. Why did he care? I was no one to him but someone who could get him what he needed. Was it possible that he truly felt remorse for what he did? Had what happened with us changed him?
Kason
I stood atop the mountain, breathing in the fresh Colorado air as I eyed the slopestyle course in front of me. As usual, the jumps were outlined in blue so they could be seen in the otherwise whiteout world surrounding them. I lived for these courses. The rush. The satisfaction of landing a trick. The silence that encompassed me as I left solid ground.
“Ready?” Jesse asked from behind me.
I nodded.
His GoPro camera sat at the end of a telescoping pole with a blue grip, ready to capture my ride from a few feet behind me.
I inhaled and dropped in, curving my turns sharp to gain momentum as I descended. With the necessary speed, I headed straight for the first jump. I needed to perfect my quad if I was gonna pull it off during the Games. Jesse followed me down, his camera capturing footage of me for social media. I usually posted tricks I’d done before, amping them up with music that made them more intense. He wouldn’t show any new tricks since I needed to save those for run four at the Games.
I gained enough speed and hit the second jump. My board left the snow and nothing but quiet filled my ears as I flipped, inverting three times and pulling off a triple cork. I landed it without a hitch. I went right into my front double nine pulling a grab switch. I came down hard, landing unevenly and flippin
g over my board. I tumbled a couple of times before totally wiping out.
“Dude, you all right?” Jesse said as he moved to me, the camera no longer recording me.
I jumped up and brushed the snow off me. “Yeah. Just don’t use that part.”
“Yeah, it was a nasty spill.”
I shrugged, unsnapping my boots from my board and carrying it toward the lift. “If at first you don’t succeed…”
“Spill, spill again?” Jesse asked.
“Speak for yourself.”
He laughed. “Someone’s sore.”
I shook off his busting, and we made our way to the ski lift, hopping on and taking it to the top.
“You sure you’re alright?” Jesse asked.
“It’s not like I’ve never fallen before.”
“Not what I meant.”
My eyes cut to his.
“You’ve been off lately.”
What the fuck was up with all my friends? Did they all decide it was time to rag on Kason? I shrugged, not in the mood to hear him out. There was only so much ‘you’re a selfish prick’ I could take.
“How’s your friend from the Slopes event?”
Seriously?
“You two…” he started.
“We’re barely even friends,” I snapped.
CHAPTER 18
Shay
I glanced across physics class Monday morning. It had been some time since I looked in Kason’s direction, but I wanted to see if he looked overwhelmed at the sight of Professor Raymond’s exam. I’d been right about the questions being like the ones in our quizzes. But, Kason looked calm as he wrote in his exam booklet.
I finished my exam before anyone else but checked my answers before approaching Professor Raymond at the front of the class with it. “Professor, I wanted to remind you I won’t be holding study group on Wednesday night since I’ll be heading home that afternoon for Thanksgiving.”
“Big plans while at home?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I guess I’ll see once I get there. See ya.” I walked to the door and stepped into the empty hallway. Professor Raymond had no idea how awful being back home was likely to be.
