by J. Nathan
Footsteps echoed down the hallway behind me. “Shay!”
I halted, knowing who the voice and the footsteps belonged to.
Kason rounded in front of me. “How’d you do?”
“The question is how did you do?”
“I totally blew those math questions, but I think I got all the definitions since they were on the quizzes we made. So, I think I might’ve passed.”
I gave him a thumbs-up. “Good for you.”
“If I passed, it was all you.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I’m serious. Without you, I would’ve failed a long time ago.”
“I’m glad I could help,” I said.
“If I were you, I would’ve taught me all the wrong information. I would’ve deserved it.”
“I wish I’d thought of that,” I deadpanned.
He smiled, and when he showed all his straight teeth and his blue eyes dazzled, I wished I didn’t hate him so much. “You headed home for Thanksgiving?”
“On Wednesday. So, no study group that night.”
“Yeah, I’m outta here after my morning classes.” He buried his hands in his pockets awkwardly, like he didn’t know what else to say but he wasn’t walking away.
I saved him the turmoil. “See ya.” I stepped around him and hurried out of the building.
***
Kendall and I ate dinner the following night in the dining hall. We were about to get dessert when my phone pinged. Snowboard Hottie’s text lit up my screen. How’d you do on the exam?
He must’ve seen that Professor Raymond posted our grades. I responded. A+ You?
His response appeared on my screen. C+
The slightest bit of pride flooded my chest, knowing he never would’ve pulled off a C+ without my help.
“What are you smiling at?” Kendall asked.
My eyes lifted to hers. “I’m not smiling.”
“Oh, you were definitely smiling. Who’s texting you?”
“Kason.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “Oh, yeah?”
“He passed his exam.”
“That’s what you were smiling at?” She sounded let down.
“If I was smiling, it was because I was happy to see all that time I wasted tutoring him actually helped.”
“If you say so.”
My phone pinged again. I glanced at the screen.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
“It’s such a shame that you two don’t get along,” Kendall said, pulling my attention to her.
“Why? He’s an ass.”
“He’s a fine ass.”
I rolled my eyes as I texted the ass back. U 2
CHAPTER 19
Kason
I knew my mom loved when I brought gifts home to her, so I loaded the last of my dirty laundry into my Jeep. I ran back inside and called to Thayer, “Catch you on Sunday night.”
“Have a good Thanksgiving.”
“You too. Say hi to your dad and his newest gold digger.”
“Say hi to Giselle for me,” he called.
“Fuck off, douchebag.”
He laughed, which was a hell of a lot more than I’d gotten from him since I fessed up about blackmailing Shay. He hadn’t looked at me the same since, and I couldn’t blame him for being disappointed.
I headed outside toward my Jeep and hopped inside. I cranked up my eighties rock and waited for all the outgoing traffic to pass my house before even attempting to pull out of my driveway. Just like me, students were heading home for the holiday after their last classes of the day. When the last car passed, I spotted Shay in the backseat. I waved but she didn’t even glance my way.
A sudden curiosity filled me, one I knew I wouldn’t be able to quiet. So, I pulled out onto the road behind the car. I knew Shay lived in Colorado, but she never said anything more than that. And, since she was clearly in an Uber, it couldn’t be that far.
The car turned onto the highway and I followed it. It couldn’t be considered stalking if I was already going in that direction. Right?
Thirty minutes later, the Uber’s blinker flashed. I’d never taken exit seventeen before, but a little detour couldn’t hurt. I followed for a few miles before I really began to feel like a stalker. The roads became dirt and the houses became closer together, smaller, old, and rundown. Snow was piled up on cars that were clearly broken and nothing was shoveled.
The Uber pulled to a stop outside a trailer. I hit the brakes, staying far enough back that I could see but wouldn’t be seen. The back door of the car opened and Shay stepped out, her backpack on her back and a large plastic storage container in her arms. She stared at the trailer as the car pulled away. She stood there for at least two minutes before she placed the large container on the ground and sat on it.
I looked to the door and noticed a tattered sheet of paper attached to it and flapping in the wind. Something wasn’t right. Why wasn’t she going inside? Wasn’t someone waiting for her?
I shifted into park and killed my engine. This could go one of two ways. Bad or to shit. I opened my door and stepped out. I walked slowly toward the sad scene. The snow beneath my sneakers crunched softly, but the sound wasn’t enough to draw Shay’s attention to me. I approached her, stopping a couple of feet away. “Shay?”
Her head whipped over her shoulder, her eyes filled with tears. “What are you doing here?”
I buried my hands in my pockets. “I was heading home and noticed you take this exit.” God, I sounded like a fucking stalker. “I thought I’d stop and wish you a happy Thanksgiving.”
She turned away from me. “Liar.”
She nailed it. I was a liar. One who hadn’t been honest with her since the day we met.
“Please just leave me alone,” she said softly, and something about the way she said it without conviction, told me she didn’t really mean it.
I walked over and nudged her with my hip so she’d move over. She did without argument which told me my instincts had been spot on. I sat down beside her on the large container, hoping the lid didn’t collapse under my weight.
I didn’t dare speak. I had no idea what to say if I did speak. I knew she said her life had been tough, but now I saw the foreclosure sign on the door and a padlock keeping it locked. She had no home.
“Now I know,” she whispered.
“What do you know?” I asked.
“Why he’s been calling.”
I felt like a fool. I had no idea who he was. All the time I’d spent with Shay—against her will—I hadn’t asked a damn thing about her. My friends and sister had been right. I was a self-absorbed asshole. “Who?”
“My father.”
“Do you know where he went?”
She shook her head.
“Jeez, Shay, I’m sorry.”
“He wasn’t going to get help if I stayed. I was enabling him. I needed to leave so he had nothing left. He needed to hit rock bottom.”
I didn’t say anything, realizing for the first time how bad her childhood must’ve been.
“Do you think I’m a terrible person?” Shay asked.
“What? No.” I wrapped my arm around her tiny shoulders and pulled her into me, surprised when she let me. “I think you’re an incredible person, Shay. He needs to find his way just like you need to find your way. You’re the kid for God’s sake. Not the other way around.”
Her soft sniffles nearly broke me. Shay didn’t cry. Shay didn’t break down. Shay didn’t confide in me. But now she was doing all three.
“What am I gonna do?” she whispered. “I thought he’d be here.”
“Come home with me,” I said.
She jumped out away from me as if she just remembered we weren’t in a great place. “I can’t do that.”
“Of course you can.”
She shook her head, her eyes still glazed with unshed tears.
I stood up and walked over to her, placing my hands on her shoulders. She glanced up at me through her damp eyelashes. “Let someone take
care of you for a change, Shay. I’d say it’s been a long time since someone has.”
I wished I could’ve read the look in her eyes, but given her current situation, I was her only option.
It was a thirty-minute car ride to my parents’ house. Shay was quiet the entire way. I’d expected even a small reaction once I turned on eighties rock, but she showed none. So, I left her alone with her thoughts, knowing she’d have to talk once she got to my parents’ home.
We pulled into the driveway of my childhood home. “Well, we’re here.” The brick exterior gave the façade of money, but we’d always just been an average middle-class family.
Shay stared out at the house. “It’s beautiful.”
Regret formed in my gut, realizing this was so much nicer than where Shay had grown up. “Come on. Let’s go meet my parents.” I jumped out before she could change her mind.
She met me at the back of my Jeep. “Let me just grab some things from my container.”
The sight of that stupid storage container made me realize she didn’t even have a damn suitcase. “I’ve got extra luggage my sponsors keep giving me that I don’t need.”
“It’s fine,” she said as she stuffed some clothes she’d taken out of the container into her backpack.
“You good?” I asked, leaving my dirty laundry in my Jeep. I’d grab that later.
She nodded.
Here goes nothing. I led Shay toward the side door. When I opened it, the smell of my mom’s pumpkin pie hit us. “I’m home!”
“Kason!” my mother cried as she rushed across the kitchen and wrapped her arms around me. She was a foot shorter than me so I rested my head on the top of her head as she held onto me. “I missed you.”
“Aw, Mom. You’re embarrassing me in front of my friend.”
My mom released me and noticed Shay standing there. “Oh, hello.” I could tell by the way she took Shay in that she was shocked I’d brought a girl home—especially without telling her—but she was too polite to ever let on.
“This is Shay,” I said.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. McCloud.”
“Call me Tabitha.”
Shay smiled awkwardly.
I didn’t blame her. The whole situation was awkward.
“Is Kason home?” my dad asked as he entered the kitchen.
“Hey, Dad.” I greeted him with a hug.
“Who’s this?” he asked as he released me.
“This is my friend Shay. She’s gonna be spending the holiday with us.”
“If that’s okay,” Shay added.
“Of course, sweetie,” my mother said with a smile. “It’ll be nice to have another girl around here.”
“Is superstar home?” Giselle asked as she entered the kitchen, her face lighting up when she spotted our guest. “Shay!” She rushed over and wrapped Shay in a hug. Shay didn’t know what to do with her arms and left them at her side. It would’ve been funny if it wasn’t so sad.
“Hi.”
Giselle released her. “I’m so glad Kason smartened up.”
“Oh, we’re—” Shay began.
“Study buddies,” I said.
Shay’s eyes cut to mine.
“She’s a hell of a tutor. Shay’s gonna be a biochemist one day.”
She stared at me, likely surprised I’d been paying attention when she’d told me.
“Wow. She’s smart,” my dad said. “That’s definitely new for Kason.”
The three of them laughed, and I knew I needed to get Shay out of there before they embarrassed me anymore.
“Can Shay stay in the guest room?” I asked.
“Well, she’s certainly not staying in your room,” my mom said.
I watched Shay swallow down hard.
“Obviously, Mom.”
“Yes. The guest room has clean sheets,” my mom explained.
I ticked my head toward the doorway. “Come on. Let me show you to your room.”
“Have you two eaten?” my mom asked as we began to walk away.
I glanced to Shay, having no idea if she grabbed a bite to eat before leaving campus.
She shook her head. “No.”
“Well, I have some leftover lasagna. Let me warm it up for you.”
“Sounds good,” I said.
Shay looked at my parents. “Thank you for having me.”
“Of course,” my mom said, having no idea that if she hadn’t allowed Shay to stay, Shay would’ve had nowhere to go.
“Anytime,” my dad added as Shay followed me down the hallway to the stairs.
As soon as we were out of the kitchen, I could hear them whispering. I did kind of blindside them with Shay. I could only imagine what they were saying—or thinking, for that matter.
Shay and I climbed the stairs, and I led her down the hallway. “This is my room,” I said as I stepped inside and switched on the light.
Shay stood in the doorway as I dropped my bag onto my bed. Her eyes moved over the snowboarding posters that filled the walls and the medals hanging from the mirror on my dresser.
“The guest room is right across the hall,” I explained, walking past her in the doorway and flicking on the light in the room across the hall. The beige walls were bare, but there was a full-sized bed with a navy comforter and a dresser on the opposite wall.
She walked inside and placed her backpack down on the bed, keeping her back to me as she looked around. “This is so nice.” After a moment, she turned to face me. “Thank you.”
I knew how much it must’ve taken for her to utter those words to me after everything I’d done to her. “Don’t thank me yet. You haven’t endured a McCloud family dinner.”
The corners of her lips twitched.
“The bathroom is at the end of the hall,” I said.
She nodded.
“I’ll meet you downstairs whenever you’re ready.” I stepped out of the room to give her space, knowing this must’ve been overwhelming for her.
But, now that I had her under my roof with nowhere to go, I didn’t want to do anything to upset her. Since the event, I’d been trying to get in Shay’s good graces. There was no way I was going to do anything to mess that up now.
CHAPTER 20
Shay
I fell back on the bed, so happy to have some alone time to think. Everything had happened so quickly. From finding the eviction notice and lock on the trailer door to Kason showing up out of nowhere to take me home with him, I hadn’t had time to assess my current situation.
I no longer had a home.
And though I never truly considered it a home, it was a roof over my head.
If I’d only known—if I’d only answered the phone when my father called—I could have made other arrangements. I could have tagged along with Kendall. I could have tried to stay in the dorm. I could have figured something out.
But, I hadn’t.
Because I didn’t want to speak to him. I didn’t want to give him the opportunity to suck me into his troubles. And, truthfully, I just had nothing left to say to him. When I’d left for school, I’d made a clean break. It was necessary in order to stay sane. To move on. To have the future I deserved. Being back at the trailer made me feel dirty. It reminded me where I came from and where I desperately needed to escape from.
I could hear Kason and his family laughing downstairs and a sense of warmth rushed through me. I didn’t know being in a loving home could feel like that. I shook off the feeling, reminding myself it wasn’t my home. It wasn’t my life. I was a temporary guest who never should’ve been there to begin with. I wondered if I should’ve accepted Kason’s offer. I knew I didn’t belong in Kason’s world, but when he wrapped his arm around me, I allowed myself to believe that he cared about me. Because before he arrived, I felt like I was all alone in this world.
***
A short time later, I crept downstairs to find Kason and his mom at the kitchen table. There was a plate of lasagna in front of Kason and another plate at the empty seat next to him. Mrs.
McCloud drank from a mug and her face lit up when she saw me in the doorway.
Kason, catching her expression, glanced over his shoulder and smiled when he spotted me. I wished a smile didn’t mean so much. “Are your lodgings up to par?” he asked.
I looked to his mom. “They’re perfect.”
“Come sit,” she said, gesturing to the empty seat.
I sat down, eyeing the large portion of lasagna she’d warmed for me. “This looks delicious.”
“I bet the dining halls don’t cook like me,” she teased.
I shook my head.
She looked to Kason. “Remind me what you’re eating these days.”
“No worries, Mom. I’m getting all the food groups.”
“Pizza doesn’t count,” she said.
“Of course, it does. Cheese is dairy. Crust carbs. Pepperoni protein. Pineapple fruit. And tomato sauce vegetable.”
“Actually,” I said. “Tomatoes are fruit.”
“Liar.”
“Nope. Totally fruit.”
“Keep hanging around with Shay,” Mrs. McCloud said. “Maybe her brain will rub off on you.”
His mouth opened into a wide O. “Did my own mom just call me stupid?”
“The word stupid never left these lips,” she said with a grin.
“It didn’t need to,” he scowled.
Mrs. McCloud and I laughed as she stood from the table. The love flowing through the McCloud home was undeniable. And, their interactions were so heartwarming to watch.
“Your mom is so nice,” I said once she stepped out of the room, leaving the two of us alone to eat.
“At least someone thinks so. Did she really just call me stupid?”
“If the shoe fits,” I said before taking a bite of lasagna.
He balled up his napkin and threw it at my head. It pelted off my forehead.
“Seriously?” I asked.
He nodded.
I rolled my eyes, knowing that he’d found a way to crack through (what I thought to be) the impenetrable barrier I’d been keeping between us. Now, how long would I be able to keep it up? And, did I really want to?
CHAPTER 21
Shay
Laughter from downstairs had me stopping in my tracks as I braided my hair in the guest room the next day. The McCloud’s had been so welcoming to me and so kind. I had no idea how I was ever going to repay Kason.
