by J. Nathan
Yes. The irony of that thought was not lost on me.
There was a knock on the door as I used an elastic to finish off my braid.
“Come in,” I called.
The door opened and Giselle poked her head in. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Happy Thanksgiving.” The smile slipped from my face as she opened the door the rest of the way and stepped inside wearing a pretty floral dress. I glanced down at my jeans and T-shirt. “I’m underdressed.”
“You look fine. But, I have lots of dresses if you’d like to wear one.”
“I couldn’t ask you for that.”
She rolled her eyes. “Be right back.”
I stripped out of my clothes so she wouldn’t need to wait before I tried on the dresses she was kind enough to offer. Almost immediately, there was a tap on the door. The door cracked open and a navy dress on a hanger was thrust through the opening. I moved to the door. Before I could get it, the door opened and Kason stepped inside. Since I was in nothing but a bra and panties, I ripped the dress out of his hand and covered myself with it.
Unfazed by my embarrassment, he crossed his arms and stood there looking at me. “Oh, you don’t want to change in front of me?” he asked with a coy smile.
“Not really.”
His eyes dropped to my feet, and it was then a wave of fear washed over my body. I wasn’t wearing my boots. He realized the same thing and his eyes widened as they took in my legs. “Shay,” he said with dread in his voice. “What happened to your legs?”
“Nothing,” I snapped.
“That’s not nothing. What happened to you?”
I dragged in a long breath knowing I couldn’t hide the scars now that he’d seen them. “They’re burns.”
I could see the sympathy in his eyes as they drifted over the small circular scars speckling my shins and calves.
“My father was an angry drunk,” I said, knowing he was waiting for an explanation.
His eyes lifted to mine.
“Don’t,” I threatened.
Indecision flashed in his eyes. Kason was a fixer. I could tell he wanted to fix it, but the damage had been done. “Get dressed. I’ll be right back.” He ducked out of the room.
I stood there for a moment, wondering what he thought of the information I just divulged. Would he start treating me differently or pretend he never saw my scars?
I slipped the dress over my head. Giselle was a little bigger than me, but the dress still worked.
“Shay?” Kason asked from outside the door. “Are you decent?”
“Would it stop you if I said no?”
“No.” He chuckled before pushing the door open. His eyes latched onto the dress I now wore. “You look great.”
“Thanks.”
“Do you mind sitting on the edge of the bed for a second?” he asked.
It was then that I noticed something clasped in his hand. I had no idea what he was up to, but since he’d been so good to invite me into his home, I did as he asked.
He lowered to his knees in front of me and examined the scars on my legs. I almost jumped up, but then he opened his hand, revealing a tube of concealer that was probably Giselle’s. He dabbed at the tube and a dollop of skin-colored makeup covered his fingertip. He held his finger to my leg before looking to me to make sure it was okay.
I nodded.
He pressed his finger to the biggest scar on my shin, dabbing it a few times until he covered it with the makeup. For the next few minutes, he was quiet, focusing on covering each scar with the makeup. I watched as he continued to dab the makeup on my skin, wondering why he felt the need to do this for me. “Do they hurt?” he asked, his eyes on the job at hand.
“Not anymore.”
“I’m sorry, Shay.”
“You didn’t do it.”
“No one should’ve done it.”
I agreed with him one-hundred percent. I’d endured things no child should have to. But at the time, I thought I was holding things together. My mother died and I only had a father. And I told myself, an angry drunk of a father was better than no father. Because if I had no father, I had no one.
Over the years, I told myself if I could just withstand his anger that he’d take out on me—if I could just stay out of his way when he was drunk—I’d be okay. But he began to be drunk more than he wasn’t. Staying out of his way became nearly impossible. College would be my escape. That’s why I threw everything I had into school. If I could just get scholarships to pay for college, I could leave, and he’d have no other option than to get help. But, now, I had no idea if that’s what happened. He could be dead in some gutter and I wouldn’t know. And the fact that I wasn’t upset by the notion, scared the hell out of me. I was a good person. A good person who had just had enough. A good person who realized she couldn’t fix someone who didn’t want to be fixed.
My need to be a biochemist to discover a cure for addiction—was bred out of a place of necessity. And living through what I’d lived through, made me determined to help those who couldn’t help themselves—and their victims.
“Looks like I got all of them,” Kason said, glancing up at me. “That is all of them, isn’t it?”
I tilted my head, not needing to explain there were others elsewhere.
His eyes lowered and he nodded his understanding.
I stood up, causing him to back up. I walked to the full-length mirror on the closet door and looked at myself. I couldn’t see a single scar. And for once, I liked what I saw.
“I bet Giselle has some heels you could wear.”
I glanced at him in the mirror. “I might fall and break my neck.”
“How about some flats? I know she’s got a bunch of those.”
I nodded, appreciating how kind he was being.
He disappeared into the hallway, and I finally could breathe again.
Kason
I hurried into Giselle’s empty room and dropped down onto the edge of her bed. I was so stupid. So God damned stupid. The pajamas. The combat boots. How had I not realized she was hiding behind those things? How had I not considered why a college girl was wearing footie pajamas?
My mind reeled back to the night in my room. The now-infamous night in my room. How had I missed the scars? Sure, it had been dark and I’d been in a rush to set her up. But I should have seen them when I slipped off her boots. Self-absorbed Kason was a true douchebag. One who didn’t deserve someone like Shay in his life.
But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t well up when she saw her reflection in the mirror without those scars. It was as if she was seeing a whole new Shay. Like those scars had somehow defined her until that moment. I was surprised she hadn’t thought of it before.
What the hell had she endured in that run-down trailer? I wished I knew the truth behind those scars. Because, they weren’t given in one shot. They were given over time. And the vision of a terrified young Shay made me feel rage I didn’t know I was capable of.
“What are you doing?” Giselle asked as she stepped into her room.
I stared at her, not having the words to convey what I was thinking.
“You saw them?” she asked.
I nodded.
“There’s got to be a hell of a story to go with those marks,” she said, her voice low and plagued with sadness.
“Do you have a pair of flats to match that dress?”
Her lips pulled up in the corners. “Of course. But will she wear them? They don’t cover her legs.”
“I took care of them.”
“You did?”
“I guess I finally started paying attention.”
Giselle’s smile broadened before she ducked into her closet and came back out with a pair of nude-colored flats.
I nabbed them from her hand. “Thanks, sis.”
“I’m glad,” she said.
My brows pinched together. “What?”
“That you started paying attention.”
I nodded before leaving her room. I hurried
back to the guest room and tapped on the door, pushing it open and stepping inside.
Shay, seated on the bed, glanced up at me.
“How about these?” I handed them to her.
“They’re perfect.” She leaned down and slipped them on.
“Do they fit?”
“They’re a little big, but they’ll work just fine,” she said.
“Are you ready to head down?”
She pushed herself to her feet. “Yes.”
We headed downstairs just as my mom was placing the turkey on the center of the dining room table. She glanced up at us, doing a double-take of Shay with a smile. “You look beautiful, Shay.”
I didn’t need to look at Shay to know she was blushing.
“You can sit right there,” my mom said, pointing to the chair beside my usual seat.
Shay sat and I sat down beside her.
My dad walked into the room, noticing Shay and I were already seated. “Thanks for waiting for me,” he teased as he took his seat at the head of the table.
“It’s not like we ate anything,” I said.
Giselle entered next, her eyes on Shay and me, her brows bouncing when Shay wasn’t looking. She took her seat across from us. My mom placed the stuffing down and then took her seat across from my dad.
“Let’s eat,” I said, reaching for the stuffing.
My mom swatted my hand. “Let our guest make her plate first.”
“Oh, no,” Shay said, her eyes wild with embarrassment. “Please don’t wait for me.”
I looked to my mom, begging her to stop with my eyes.
She took the hint. “Well, if you insist. Why don’t we start at the end and pass the sides around.”
We did, filling our dishes with more food than anyone should ingest in a single day.
My dad lifted his glass before we dug in. “To my family. I don’t know how I got to be such a lucky guy, but I am so thankful to have all of you.” He looked to Shay. “And to new friends. Welcome to our crazy family. We’re happy to have you here.”
We lifted our water glasses and clinked them together before eating.
“So, how’d you two meet anyway?” my dad asked before sipping his drink.
I felt myself fidgeting, knowing the real story would not be a crowd-pleaser. Shay, likely sensing my predicament, reached under the table and did the unimaginable. She placed her hand lightly on my thigh. “You know me, Dad. Just pissing people off left and right. Shay was no exception.”
My parents laughed and so did Shay as she removed her hand from my leg.
“Why don’t I doubt that?” Dad said.
“Luckily, she came around and saw my charm,” I teased.
Giselle made a deliberate choking sound. “Get me some crackers for the cheese he’s spreading.”
Everyone laughed.
We enjoyed the delicious meal and finished without any more questions that would make Shay uncomfortable. After leaving her alone last night, I’d warned my parents not to ask about her family.
My mom stood from the table, ready to clean up. Shay jumped up. “Let me help.”
“Oh, honey. You’re a guest.”
“Please. I need to stand or that turkey is going to get stuck in my stomach.”
My mother laughed as Shay picked up some dishes from the table and carried them in to the kitchen.
My dad and I moved to the living room to watch football. I could hear the girls in the kitchen talking and laughing. I was so happy to know that Shay had a family to spend the holiday with. Even more so because it turned out to be my family.
***
Just after ten, Shay excused herself and went upstairs to bed. I knew she probably had McCloud family overload, so I let her go.
“She’s so nice, Kason,” Mom said when the door to the guest room closed upstairs.
I didn’t say anything, knowing Shay and I had our issues. However, after this weekend, I wondered if our issues would slowly become a thing of the past.
“She’s different than the girls you’re usually with,” Dad said.
“You mean smart?” Giselle threw in.
They all laughed.
“Well, Shay and I aren’t together,” I explained. “Her coming here was a last-minute thing.”
“Well, whatever brought her here with you, I’m happy it did,” Mom said.
“She balances out your reckless side,” Giselle said.
“Who’s reckless?” I asked.
She cocked her head, knowing all too well I was a complete adrenaline junkie. “She’s rational while you’re not.”
“Is that your way of supporting Mom’s notion that Shay’s smart and I’m dumb?”
They broke into laughter, confirming their thoughts.
With that vote of confidence, I jumped to my feet. “I’m going to bed.”
“It’s only ten,” Giselle argued.
“Yeah, I’m hitting the mountain early in the morning.”
“Is Shay going with you?”
“It’s not really her scene.” I walked over to my mom and leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Thanks for today. Everything was amazing.” I moved to my dad and leaned down and gave him a hug. “Night, old man.”
“Who are you calling old?” he asked.
I held out my fist to my sister to pound. “Night, little sister.”
She rolled her eyes before reciprocation. “You’re such a guy.”
I climbed the stairs to the second floor. I stopped outside my room, pausing to listen for any noise in the guest room. I didn’t hear anything, so I figured Shay had already gone to bed. I slipped inside my room and closed the door quietly. I changed out of my clothes, checked my phone for messages, then climbed into bed. I hadn’t realized how tired I was until my head hit the pillow.
On the verge of dozing off a little while later, I heard the creak of my door opening. I lay there with my back to the door and my eyes closed, listening.
Soft footfalls padded across my room. I could tell it was Shay, so I waited her out. She sat down on the edge of my bed, the light weight of her not even dipping my mattress.
“Kason?” Shay whispered. “Are you up?”
“You can’t come creeping in here unannounced, Little One. You might’ve caught me in the act.”
As if electrocuted, she jumped off my bed. “Oh my God!”
I laughed, rolling over to face her and resting my cheek in my palm. “I’m joking.”
Her shoulders relaxed, and I could see, even in the darkness, that she wore her footie pajamas.
“What’s up?”
She moved back to the bed and sat down on the edge. “I just wanted to thank you.”
“Thank me? What’d you have in mind?” I teased.
“Do you really want to remind me how much I hate you?”
“It was a joke.”
She shook her head, amused I hoped. “I wanted to say thank you. Today was the most amazing holiday I’ve ever had.”
I cocked my head, knowing it was the truth and it probably took a lot for her to come into my room to admit that. “Yeah?”
She nodded. “I can’t remember a holiday where I didn’t have to cook. And, it was usually just for me since my dad would end up passing out on the sofa before we even ate.”
“Shay?”
She shook her head, not looking for my sympathy. “And forget Christmas. When I was six—just after my mom passed away, Santa didn’t even show up. I told myself that maybe he just missed my trailer. But then when I was seven, and he still didn’t leave presents, I knew something was up because the kids in the trailer next door got presents.”
“Shay, I’m so sorry.”
She shook her head, still not needing my pity. “I didn’t come in here to lay my sob story on you.” She moved to stand up, but I grabbed her wrist to keep her there.
“I wanna know more about you, Shay. You keep too much bottled inside. I’m here. Whatever you need.”
She closed her eyes, seemingly pai
ned by my words. “It’s like you’re these two different guys. And, I don’t know which one you really are.”
“There’s only one of me.”
“But you can’t be the lying deceitful jerk who I swore to hate forever. And then be this incredibly thoughtful guy who comes to my rescue. Because let’s be clear. I don’t need rescuing.”
I chuckled. “That’s abundantly clear.”
“I’m serious, Kason.”
“So am I. I know you don’t need rescuing. And, I also know you need to decide how you feel about me. But just know, I’m clear on how I feel about you.”
She was quiet for a long time. Then she stood. “Good night.” She turned to leave my room.
“Hey.”
She twisted back to look at me.
“Wanna come to the mountain with me in the morning?”
“Why?”
“Because it could be fun.”
“To laugh at me?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t think of it.”
“Stop by my room before you go. If I’m up, I’ll consider it.” She moved to the door and walked out of my room.
She’d consider it? I’d never had to beg a girl to spend time with me before. What was it about Shay Miller that made me want to?
CHAPTER 22
Shay
“Remind me again why I agreed to this?” I asked as I balanced on a snowboard, gripping Kason’s hands, and moving along with him as he showed me what to do on his own board.
“Shay, we’re on the bunny slope.”
A kid who couldn’t have been more than five years old sped by us on skis.
I growled, hating how uncoordinated I was when the little kid could move so effortlessly. At least I was warm in the winter gear Giselle had let me borrow.
Kason laughed. He was so carefree and lighter away from school. Lighter around his family. It looked good on him. “Come on. Just hold steady.”
“Steady? This is the least steady I’ve ever been. How is it you flip and fly in the ski?”
“Fly in the ski?”
“You know what I mean,” I said as I focused on keeping my knees bent as the board slid over the snow beneath me.
