by J. Nathan
“I don’t need to be spoiled.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t.”
My stomach dipped, and I knew that if this thing between us went south, it would hurt.
“So, I know it’s sort of bad timing, but I’m heading to Salt Lake City Thursday night.”
I pulled back so I could see his face. “Snowboarding?”
“Yeah. I’m hitting the mountains with some of my boys. We’re gonna get a little pre-Aspen practice in and film some footage.”
“Sounds fun.”
“Who’re you kidding? You think it sounds awful.”
I smiled. “Only because I can’t snowboard. But you love it, so it sounds fun for you.”
“You gonna miss me?”
I pursed my lips, pretending to consider his question. “Well, I won’t have to help you with physics, so there’s that.”
“I’m your only student, so I can’t be that bad.”
I cocked my head. “Only because you paid off that other kid not to show up.”
His guilty eyes widened. “How do you know that?”
“Word gets around.”
“It got me alone with you, didn’t it?”
“Did you really want to be alone with me then?”
His lips twisted in contemplation. “I think I did.”
My belly dipped again, and I knew Kason was going to be the death of my poor heart.
“And I really want to be alone with you now.”
I stifled a smile, knowing—despite all his flaws and failed attempts to make things right with me—I was beginning to fall for Kason McCloud. And there wasn’t a thing in this world I could do to stop it.
CHAPTER 28
Shay
I turned the shower off, reached out of the stall for my towel, and dried myself before reaching for my glasses. I felt around for them, but couldn’t find them. I pulled open the curtain and couldn’t see them next to my shower caddy where I’d left them. I bent down to check the floor and under the other stall, thinking they must’ve slipped off the ledge. But they weren’t there. Had I not worn them into the bathroom? I could’ve sworn I had. But, then again, with Kason on my mind lately, I’d been distracted.
I picked up my caddy and headed out. Before I reached my room, I spotted—albeit a little blurry—my glasses up ahead on the hallway floor. How’d they end up there? I couldn’t have dropped them if I was wearing them. Had I grabbed them and not put them on? I bent down and picked them up, huffing when I noticed both lenses cracked. Dammit.
I walked into my room staring at the remains of my glass.
“What happened?” Kendall asked, still in bed.
“I must’ve dropped them.”
“Do you have a backup pair?” she asked.
I shook my head, knowing glasses cost money I didn’t have.
“There’s an eye doctor at health services. You can get new ones there.”
“Really?”
She laughed at my surprise. “You pay tuition, right?”
“Well, not technically.”
She laughed again. “Well, I’m sure your scholarship covers it.”
***
“Hi, Thayer,” I said once he opened the front door.
“Hey.” His eyes narrowed as if he knew something was different about me, but he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. “He’s upstairs,” he said, stepping back so I could enter.
I moved inside, climbing the stairs and walking into Kason’s room. He was on his bed intently watching something on his phone. “Hey.”
He glanced up, his eyes widening when he saw me at the end of his bed. “Where are your glasses?”
“I got contacts.” Kendall had been right about the campus eye doctor. It turned out the prescription I’d been wearing for years had changed. And, since glasses would’ve taken longer to come in, the doctor urged me to try contacts that were covered under my tuition. And, he had a bunch of free samples I could have right then. So, I relented. It took some practice touching my finger to my eyeball, but I was able to get the contacts in after a few failed attempts and a lot of cringing.
“You look hot,” Kason said as he crawled off his bed.
I rolled my eyes. “You’ve seen me without glasses.”
He cupped my cheeks and stared into my eyes. “Yeah, but you’re always squinting without them. Now, your eyes are so big and green.”
I laughed, grateful to whoever stepped on my glasses because it was making Kason look at me like I was beautiful. “Everything’s clearer now.”
“Am I even better looking?” he asked.
I opened my mouth to respond, but his lips captured mine, cutting off anything I planned to say. I giggled as he kissed me, deepening the kiss as if he really liked what he saw. I wrapped my arms around his neck and arched into him, wanting him as much as he seemed to want me. He pulled apart first, leaving us both breathless. “I’m stopping,” he said as an apology.
“I didn’t say you needed to stop,” I assured him.
He laughed, moving us to his bed. We both lay down so we shared his pillow. He grabbed my hand and linked our fingers. I lifted our joined hands so I could inspect the tattoos on his arm. From far away you couldn’t see all the detail. But up close, you could see all the hidden images that blended together like a true piece of art.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Just checking out your tattoos.”
“And?”
“And…I’m wondering what it all means?” I said.
“It means I’m a badass.”
I laughed, wondering if his jokes were his way of avoiding talking about stuff that mattered. “When did you get your first one?”
“When I was sixteen,” he said, twisting his arm so I could see the snowboard on his tricep.
“Did it hurt?”
He shrugged. “A little because I didn’t know what to expect. And, I was in Austria so it was a little different.”
“Austria?”
“Have you ever been?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I’ve never been out of Colorado.”
He grew quiet, and I assumed he’d just realized how unlikely it was for me to have ever traveled given my financial situation.
“Which tattoo’s your favorite?”
He considered it then held out his forearm. The word family was written in script.
I’d hoped he liked that one best. “What was the last one you got?”
He twisted his arm in the opposite direction, showing me his bicep. “The silver medal. But, I’ll be adding the gold after Aspen.”
I shook my head, never surprised by his arrogance. “Always so confident.”
He lowered his arm, ending my perusal. He was silent for a moment, and I wondered what he was thinking about. “You know…” he began, his voice quiet. “A tattoo could cover your scar.”
That’s what he was thinking about. “I know my back’s ugly.”
He reached over and turned my chin so I was looking at him. “That’s not what I said. I just meant you could cover the bad memories with something you choose to put there.”
I’d never considered trying to cover the scars permanently.
“Think about it,” he said. “I could go with you.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“How long have they been there?” he asked, and I could tell he was treading lightly.
“Too long.”
His teeth clenched together.
I turned attention to the ceiling swirls above his bed, not wanting to see the anger in his eyes over something he couldn’t control. Hell, I couldn’t control. “My mom died from cancer when I was six,” I explained.
“Shay, I’m sorry.”
“After that, I was the only one there for my father to take out his anger on. And he did. Every time he was sad about my mom. Or he lost a job. Or felt hungover. Or even when I didn’t make dinner fast enough. I couldn’t stay out of his way even when I tried.”
“Jes
us Christ, Shay. He should be in jail.”
“He was all I had,” I said, knowing how ridiculous it sounded now. I’d been a victim. An innocent victim. “If he was taken away, I had no one. That’s what stopped me from telling anyone what was going on.”
“And when he wasn’t drinking?” Kason asked.
“He was normal. He’d ask about my day. Clean the house. Rake what little we had of a front lawn. But those days were few and far between as the years went on.”
Kason rolled me away from him onto my side, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tightly as if he could somehow protect me from my past. I appreciated him trying. But all the hurt was over now. We lay like that for a long time. After he’d seen the scars on my back, I knew it was only a matter of time before he wanted me to talk about it. And, as much as I dreaded that conversation, I felt better now that the truth was out there.
“Flowers,” he finally said.
“What about flowers?” I asked.
“I think some colorful flowers would look nice on your back.”
“Not something more personal?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know…your face?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood.
He chuckled, the vibration rumbling against my back. “Definitely not my face.”
I smiled. “Well, I expect you to get mine on your arm.”
“Oh, yeah?”
I laughed, knowing that was not something I’d want to see on his arm.
And, just like that, the somber mood disappeared. And though Kason couldn’t protect me from the pain I’d once felt, he was making sure I felt safe in his arms now.
Within minutes, I fell asleep in Kason’s arms knowing there was no safer place for me to be.
CHAPTER 29
Kason
I screwed down the mountain, taking the first jump like a man on a mission. I flew off the jump, rotating and landing my Switchback twelve with a force that couldn’t take me down. After what Shay had revealed last night, I needed to release all the anger raging inside me. I couldn’t shake the images from my brain. I couldn’t not see my girl being hurt by the man who was supposed to love her and care for her. What kind of monster created those scars? I took the next jump, reaching down and grabbing my board as I rotated off-axis four times. I landed a backside 1440 hard but kept my balance. I curved my turn and stopped at the bottom of the mountain.
I lifted my goggles onto the top of my helmet and unsnapped my boots. I carried my board over to the outside patio outside the lodge. “Hey,” I called.
Shay, bundled up in my spare jacket, gloves, and hat, glanced up from her laptop at one of the tables with a smile on her face.
I really wanted to keep that smile on her face, especially after last night. “Give it to me.”
“Define joule.”
“Easy. The standard unit of measure.”
“For what?” she prompted.
“Energy and work.”
She smiled. “Got it. How about kinetic energy?”
“Energy an object has due to its motion.”
Pride shone in her eyes as she smiled again. “You’re like eight for eight.”
“Actually, ten for ten.” I leaned down and kissed her before taking off for the ski lift.
“See you in ten minutes,” she called, knowing the drill.
I lifted my board in the air to acknowledge her, loving that we could mix tutoring and practice—not to mention I could release all the anger I’d been feeling.
Shay
That night, I lay snuggled into Kason’s side watching a movie on his bed. I would’ve liked to say I knew the name of the movie. Or, what it was about. But, I’d never been alone in a dark room nestled under the arm of a hot guy who I was starting to have some strong feelings for.
I couldn’t seem not to inhale his cool arctic scent with every breath I took. His steady heartbeat thumped beneath my ear capturing all my attention. My body buzzed with something unfamiliar to me, and I wanted to literally crawl out of my skin. I wasn’t someone who thought about sex. And, it wasn’t like I was ready to give up the V card tonight. But, my mind was on getting closer to Kason. I suddenly wanted him touching me. And kissing me. And wanting me.
“Shay, what the hell are you doing?” he asked.
“What?”
“You haven’t paid one bit of attention to the movie.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I can almost hear the wheels grinding in your head. What’s up?”
What was I supposed to say? This was all new for me. Maybe I didn’t need to say anything.
I reached up and entwined my hand around to the back of his head, urging his mouth down to mine. He willingly acquiesced with a cocky smirk. Our kiss started off slow and gentle. But, I had a feeling his thoughts were pretty much where mine were because he deepened the kiss. As his tongue competed with mine for control, he rolled me onto my back and took the lead. His hard chest pressed me into the bed, holding me in place. His heartbeat suddenly mirrored mine, pounding against his chest. I couldn’t get close enough. The kiss couldn’t get deep enough.
Kason was the one to pull away first, his chest heaving as he dragged a hand through his hair. “Sorry. I’m stopping.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re taking it slow. Shay, this means a lot to me. You forgiving me. You wanting to be here with me. You’ve held off for a reason. I’m not gonna screw it up by moving too fast.”
What? No. “But maybe…”
His brows shot up, intrigued by my words. “Maybe what?”
I didn’t know how to verbalize all these feelings I was having. Feeling anything other than heartbreak was new for me. I clutched the front of his shirt, pulling him back down to me and kissing him with everything I had.
Kason pulled away. “Jesus, Shay. You’re really testing my resolve.”
“I want you to…” My voice drifted away as I struggled to verbalize what I wanted because I’d never done any of this before.
His eyes were wide, almost fearful. “You want me to what?”
I swallowed around the lump that was suddenly lodged in my throat. “Touch me.”
Once the surprise in his eyes disappeared, a cocky grin slipped across his lips. “Oh, I can definitely do that.” He leaned down and pressed kisses along my jawline, underneath my ear, and over my neck. I closed my eyes, letting every glorious feeling overtake me. He inched his way down my body, dragging his nose over my T-shirt but between my breasts. I held my breath, turned on beyond reason as he kept moving, inching his way down until he reached the top of my jeans. He reached for the button but looked to me for approval.
I met his eyes and nodded, my heart thrashing against the wall of my chest. Was I ready for this?
He unclasped the button and slipped my jeans down my legs as he made his way to my feet. He pulled them off and tossed them to the floor, leaving me very much exposed in a black thong. As if appreciating every exposed inch of me, his eyes swept from my feet to my thong and back again.
A shiver rushed through me. No one had ever looked at me, especially with my ugly scars exposed, with such hunger in their eyes.
Kason leaned down and pressed his lips gently to my legs, covering each ugly scar with a kiss. I tipped back my head and closed my eyes as tears began to prick them. Kason was unfazed by something that caused me such grief—such embarrassment. He just accepted them as part of me—even though they came from such an ugly place.
He abandoned the scars and continued kissing his way up my thighs, each movement causing my heart to race more. He reached my thong and peppered light kisses across the thin material. Unprepared for what was happening between my thighs, I sucked in a sharp breath.
Kason’s head shot up. “Is this okay?”
I met his eyes. “God, yes.”
He didn’t waste any time, his mouth returned, pressing kisses all over my thong. I had no idea something like that could elicit such sensations.
He continued down a few inches until he neared the strip of fabric between my legs. He paused. I held my breath, and my body trembled with anticipation. He spread my legs a little bit and then his mouth descended, kissing a gentle path down the strip of material and then back up again. Holy hell. I waited for him to do it again, but his mouth moved away. I released the breath I’d been holding.
Kason’s fingers slipped beneath the waistband and pulled my thong down my legs.
The fact that he hadn’t asked permission told me his attempt to go slow had been thwarted by what I was allowing him to do. And, he was taking full advantage of the situation. Thank God.
I didn’t open my eyes because I didn’t want to see myself partially naked and sprawled out on his bed. But they certainly popped open the second his mouth returned and his tongue moved to where my underwear had been. I sucked in a sharp breath as he licked a path between my folds. I gripped the comforter at my sides, holding on for dear life. He continued his path, back and forth. I shamelessly began to pant. Then, he circled my clit. “Oh my God,” tumbled out of my mouth, not even remotely sounding like me.
“I got you,” he murmured against my wet skin.
His tongue circled and circled, the sensations beyond anything I’d ever felt before. Everything between my legs began to throb, building up until it had nowhere else to go.
“Ka-son,” I gasped.
He didn’t respond with words, lapping away at my clit and sucking on it until I was squirming from the intensity of all the feelings rushing through me. Within seconds, the spiral between my legs wound tight. Kason sucked hard. And, that’s all it took.
My body quaked and tremors shot from inside out, emitting a buzz over my entire body. Kason stopped his torture, and my chest heaved as I lay there, a useless pile of goo unable to move. “Oh. My. God.”
Kason chuckled as he moved beside me, pulling the comforter over me to cover me up. “That was unexpected.”
My head fell to the side and I met his gaze. “You think?”
“Was it all right?”
“More than all right.”
I thought he’d laugh, but indecision plagued his eyes. “I was serious about not rushing you.”
