by J. Nathan
“I know. That was all on me.”
He gave me a crooked grin, knowing I really was the one to get things started. “You’ve really never done that before?”
I shook my head.
He brushed his knuckles over my flushed cheek. “Well, I’m glad I could be your first.”
“You’re my first for a lot of things.”
“Damn straight I am.” He laughed, and when he laughed like that, I knew—despite my initial reservations—that this thing between us was real.
CHAPTER 30
Shay
I headed toward the bathroom wearing my robe and pink boots Friday morning. I was bummed that Kason had left for Utah, and I wouldn’t see him until Sunday night—especially after what had transpired in his room. It had been a good stretch for us, spending time together each night. And, the more time we spent together, the more I got to know and like the real Kason. The one I was lucky enough to get to see.
I slipped inside an empty shower stall, placed my shower caddy down, and reached to turn on the water. A loud alarm sounded in the hallway and I jumped.
“Everyone outside!” our RA called in the hallway. “Fire alarm!” He banged on all the doors, including the bathroom. “Let’s go!”
Dammit.
I switched off the water and hurried out of the bathroom, tightening my robe as I followed my sleepy dorm mates down the stairs.
Our RA ushered us like a herd of cattle out of the dorm to the front lawn. Since it was six in the morning and still dark outside, most had been awoken by the alarm. Luckily, everyone wore some type of pajamas, so I wasn’t the only person out in the snow in a robe.
I found Kendall nearby with her comforter wrapped tightly around her body. When she saw me approach, she opened one arm and let me huddle under the comforter with her to keep warm. But, the temperature hadn’t even hit thirty yet, so our attempt proved futile.
Fire trucks arrived with sirens blaring. Firemen jumped out and made their way into the building.
“I’m fr-ee-zzzz-ing,” Kendall said through chattering teeth.
I glanced to the dining hall across the street. “Let’s get warm.”
We hurried over and stood in the doorway of the dining hall, waiting for the firemen to leave our dorm.
“Do you think it’s a real fire?”
I shrugged, having no idea but hoping it had only been a hairdryer or something that caused sparks so I could shower and get to calculus.
Ten minutes later, they gave us the all-clear and we filed back into the dorm. I took off for the shower, in a hurry so I wouldn’t be late for calculus at seven. I dried my hair in the bathroom so I didn’t bother Kendall who’d gone back to bed.
As my hair began to dry, I stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes widened at what I saw. Oh. My. God. I dropped the hairdryer into the sink and grasped at my hair. Why was it turning orange? Why was it the color of a pumpkin? I grabbed my shampoo bottle and squeezed orange shampoo into my orange-stained hand. Oh, no. Oh, no.
The fire drill.
My shampoo.
Oh. My. God.
I grabbed my hairdryer, yanked the cord from the wall, and stuffed everything into my caddy. I would not cry. I would not give Cora the satisfaction because there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she had something to do with it.
I bent down, checking for feet under the stalls, but there were none. Was she waiting in the hall to see her work?
I grabbed my towel from the nearby sink and wrapped my hair up in it. No way was she going to see my hair. I moved to the door, pulled in a long breath, and steeled my features. If she was in the hallway, she was getting nothing from me.
Luckily, when I opened the door, she wasn’t there. I bolted to my room and when I got there, I shook Kendall awake. “Wake up.”
“What?” she grumbled.
“I need your help.”
Her eyes snapped open.
I pulled the towel off my head, revealing my orange hair.
Her eyes widened. “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do it. Someone poured something into my shampoo bottle. I’m guessing while we were outside.”
“Cora?”
“Who else would do this?” Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them away. I could handle this. I’d handled far worse.
“Okay. We need to get you to a salon.”
A pit sat heavy in my stomach thinking about my orange hair. I didn’t have money to pay for my hair to be fixed. “Can’t we just get something at the store to fix it?”
“You need a professional. We could make it worse with store-bought stuff.”
I stood from her bed and moved to the mirror. The color was getting progressively brighter the more my hair dried. I grabbed a hairband from my desk and wrapped my hair into a knot on the top of my head.
“It’s not as noticeable that way,” Kendall said, though I could hear the lie in her voice. Hell, I could see the lie with my own eyes.
“Well, I’m not letting her win.”
“Are you gonna call Kason?”
I shook my head. “It will only upset him.”
“Then, what are you gonna do?”
“I’m going to class.”
“You don’t have to, Shay.”
“Of course I do.”
I thought she’d argue with me and try to convince me to stay in our room until we could figure out what to do. But instead, she smiled and I could see the pride her smile held. “I’ll call salons once they open and see when they can fit you in.”
“Not the high-end ones.”
I watched realization turn to sadness in her eyes. “Go. Let Cora see you flaunt that orange hair.”
I smiled as I left the room, but it faded as soon as I stepped into the hallway. Cora had purposely done this to embarrass me. To get revenge on me for dating Kason. But, if she wanted revenge on someone, why wasn’t it Kason? He’s the one who hurt her. Not me.
Regardless of her motives, I’d bounce back.
It’s what I’d been doing my entire life.
CHAPTER 31
Shay
Because no salon could take me until Monday, I spent most of the weekend hiding out in my dorm room. Sure, it was the age of dyed hair and most girls could rock purple, blue, and pink hair. But, this dye job was fluorescent orange. Everyone but a clown steered clear of this shade.
I’d spoken to Kason multiple times while he was away, but I didn’t mention my hair. I didn’t want anything to ruin his trip. I knew how much he wanted to be out there preparing for the Games. This stupid prank—as malicious as it was—was not going to be the reason he lost focus.
“We can get takeout for dinner,” Kendall offered on Sunday night.
“Nope. We’re going to the dining hall.”
“You sure?”
“Yup.” We’d eaten cereal in our room all weekend, but I was done hiding, and I was hungry for real food.
We made our way across the street to the dining hall. I was in the mood for the salad bar, so I headed there while Kendall hit up the sandwich bar.
“A little late for Halloween,” Cora said from somewhere behind me as I filled my salad plate.
Though my heartbeat sped up, I didn’t turn around, continuing to pile tomatoes onto my plate of lettuce. “I think orange brings out my eyes.”
Cora huffed, my calm reaction pissing her off. “Kason will definitely be rethinking being seen in public with white trash now.”
Heat rushed through my veins. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been called names before. I had thick skin. But, did she really think he’d lose interest in me if she messed with my appearance? Did she really think he was that shallow? And, did she really think that I was just some toy to be messed with?
“He killed it in Utah,” Cora continued. “You should’ve seen him crush his runs. I left before him, that’s why I’m already back.”
Even though my heartbeat had begun to pound in my ears, I tried to remain calm. She was just trying to get
to me. There was no way she’d been in Utah and he hadn’t mentioned it.
“Ohhh. You didn’t know I was there?” she said as if she felt sorry for letting the cat out of the bag.
I lifted the ladle of French dressing and poured it in a zig-zag pattern over my salad, trying to harness all the emotions flooding through me.
“Maybe if you had your glasses, you’d be able to see things clearly. Like the fact that he doesn’t really like you.”
My glasses? She’d broken them. Why hadn’t I considered that?
“Turn around. You know you want to say something.” She shoved me, and I stumbled forward against the salad bar. The dressing splashed all over my shirt, seeping through and causing the fabric to stick to my skin.
I took some deep breaths and stood upright. I pivoted to look at her, a smile on my face. Despite all the horrible things she’d done and said to me, I would not allow her to break me.
I was stronger than that.
Now that she got the full view of me with orange hair and salad dressing drenching my shirt, she laughed out loud. “All you need is the red nose.”
The combination of all she’d done came to a head. A ball of uncontrollable rage swelled in my chest. I tried to harness it. Tried to shove it somewhere else like I had while growing up. But, I just couldn’t do it. I lowered my dish to the salad bar, begging myself to ignore her. But I couldn’t do that either. I twisted back to face her with my hand tightened into a fist at my side.
She smiled, so impressed by her work.
That’s all it took.
I pulled back my elbow and released my fist with everything I had, punching her in the face.
She gasped as she lost her footing, landing on her ass. She immediately covered her face, whimpering into her palms.
I cradled my throbbing fist in my other hand. That freaking hurt.
Kendall rushed over to me and moved me away from Cora and toward the exit. I wasn’t sure if she thought I’d attack Cora again or if she was keeping me from getting into trouble, but it didn’t matter. I’d done what I needed to do. I thought silence would be the best way to deal with what Cora had done to me. But she wouldn’t quit. I’d never had the urge to hit someone the way I had the urge to hit her. And, it felt so damn good.
People rushed over to help Cora as Kendall and I rushed outside the building.
“That was awesome!” she said as we broke into laughter and hurried across the street to our dorm. “I am so proud of you. How do you feel?”
“So good.”
***
That night, I lay on my bed watching Netflix, an ice bag on my hand. They don’t show you the aftermath of a punch in the movies. But, my knuckles were so swollen my fingers looked like sausages. And, now, after all that anger, I was feeling regret. I wasn’t my father. I didn’t hit people. I ignored people like Cora, and my life was better for it. But, she just wouldn’t stop. And, I realized in that moment that I had a breaking point. I wondered if it had more to do with jealousy than anything else. Because since I’d returned from the dining hall, the thought of her being in Utah—and Kason not telling me—plagued my every thought.
There was a knock on the door.
Kendall looked to me from her bed. “Kason?”
I shook my head. “He won’t be back until later.” I hadn’t texted him about the run-in with Cora—or her claims. I knew we’d talk about everything when he got home. And, truthfully, I wanted to see his reaction when I asked about her being in Utah.
Kendall crawled off her bed and moved to the door. “Who is it?” she asked.
“Campus police.”
She glanced at me with wide eyes. She motioned for me to tuck the ice bag away.
I tucked it under my pillow and sat up as she opened the door.
“Are you Shay Miller?” the uniformed officer asked her.
I jumped to my feet and moved to the door. “I’m Shay.”
He looked at me, his eyes instantly going to the orange knot on my head. “Ms. Miller, we’re here investigating an assault that happened this evening.”
“Shay’s innocent,” Kendall pleaded. “That bitch dyed her hair orange.” She pointed to my hair. “Look.”
Ignoring Kendall’s pleas, he continued. “Did you or did you not assault another student in the dining hall?”
I stepped back and sat on my bed. “I did.”
“But only after Cora did that to Shay’s hair and then taunted her about it,” Kendall added, trying desperately to help.
He stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him. Had he not been wearing the uniform, he would’ve looked like any other college guy. “No matter what someone does to you, it’s against the law to assault them,” he explained to both of us.
“What do you call replacing her shampoo with orange hair dye?” Kendall continued. “I can’t believe that’s not some kind of assault.”
His eyes shifted to mine. “If the victim did something to you—”
“The victim?” Kendall’s voice raised.
He glared at her before continuing. “You needed to file a complaint. You never take matters into your own hands.”
“I tried to ignore her,” I said. “I didn’t want her to think she broke me. But, she just wouldn’t stop.” I shrugged. “And, I snapped.”
Kendall sat down beside me on the bed and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “Cora’s evil. You did nothing to deserve this.”
“She broke the victim’s nose,” the officer said.
“Is this going on my record?”
He stared at me, his eyes holding regret. “Are you eighteen?”
I nodded.
“In Colorado, third-degree assault is a class one misdemeanor that carries a fine of up to five thousand dollars or—”
“Or what?” I asked.
“Or, a jail sentence of six to twenty-four months,” he explained.
My stomach dropped and my mind spun as Kendall pleaded with the officer. “She’ll do community service. Just make this go away.”
“I need to take her to the station,” he said.
Kendall jumped to her feet and stood in front of me with her arms crossed. “There is no way I’m allowing her to leave this room with you.”
His head retracted. “You’re not allowing it?”
“It’s what Cora wants,” Kendall explained. “We’ll come in willingly once her ear isn’t pressed to her door waiting for you to bring Shay in.”
Dealing with Kendall as my bodyguard proved difficult for the young officer. He huffed. “Fine. But if you don’t show—”
“Do I look like someone who’s going to run?” I asked. “You’d spot my hair a mile away.”
He almost laughed.
I wished I could laugh, but this was my life. And, up until this year, I’d had a well-established plan for my future. But now, it was as if my world was crumbling around me and all I could do was grasp at sand that was slipping through my fingertips.
***
We left the campus police station after midnight. I stared out Kendall’s passenger window into the darkness replaying the officer’s words in my head. Prison. My heart sank at the thought that my future lay in the hands of Cora and her family. If they decided to press charges, I had no idea which punishment I’d receive. And, rationally, Cora hadn’t worked this hard to destroy me not to press charges.
Tears stung my eyes. After everything I’d risen above to get to college—everything I’d done to give myself the future I deserved, it was all slipping away and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was grasping at something I couldn’t contain.
“You okay?” Kendall asked.
“I will be,” I lied. “Can I ask you for one more favor?”
“Anything,” she said.
“Will you take me to Kason’s house?”
“Is he back?”
I shrugged. “I think so. I have a bunch of missed calls from him.”
Within minutes, we were outside Kason�
�s house. The lights inside lit up the main floor.
“I’ll see you in the morning, then?” she said.
I shook my head feeling numb inside. “No. I’ll be right out. Wait for me?”
Her brows furrowed. “You sure?”
I nodded as I opened the car door and stepped out. I walked up the sidewalk in a daze. A daze I didn’t know if I’d be able to get myself out of. My life was spiraling.
When I got to the front door, I knocked and heard footsteps inside. My heartbeat was a jackhammer in my chest. There was so much I needed to say to Kason. I suddenly felt overwhelmed by it.
The door swung open and Thayer stood there, his brows drawn in question. I didn’t blame him. Last time he saw me I had brown hair.
“Is he here?” I asked.
He nodded. “He was pretty beat. He might be asleep.”
I pushed past him and moved to the stairs. “That’s fine.” I climbed them to the second floor. Kason’s door was closed, but I opened it. Thayer had been right. He was sound asleep in bed.
I knocked, announcing my presence.
Kason jolted upright in nothing but boxers. He looked totally confused for a moment but then focused on me standing in his doorway. “Shay?”
“I can see how you might not recognize me with orange hair.”
His eyes zoned in on my hair. “That’s a different look for you.”
“Cora must’ve thought it’d be perfect when she replaced my shampoo with orange hair dye.”
His mouth opened. “She didn’t?”
“Oh, I assure you, she did.”
He moved to stand.
I held up my palm. “Stop.”
I watched the confusion flash across his eyes.
“Was she in Utah?”
He held my stare for a long time, and I watched the guilt pass over his features. He knew he should have told me. He knew, of all people, her being there would make me uncomfortable.
I closed my eyes. How had I been so stupid?
“It’s not what you think. Her dad was there, and she just showed up.”
I shrugged, not caring about anything at that point. “I’m shocked she didn’t mention my hair. She’s quite proud of her work.”
“Shay,” he said, sounding like he wanted to console me.
