Something About You

by J. Nathan

  “It’s fine. She’ll have a nose job and I’m sure it’ll be even perkier than it was before I punched her.”

  “You hit her?”

  I nodded. “I’m done playing her game.”

  “No one should hurt you like that, Shay.”

  “You mean like you did?” It may have been childish to throw the way we started back in his face, but he’d kept her being in Utah from me. And, my emotions were all out of whack knowing the punishment I was possibly facing.

  I watched the sting of my words hit him.

  “Well, my victory was short-lived,” I continued. “She went to the police. I was brought in on assault charges.”

  I watched as his expression changed. “What?”

  “Oh yeah. Go big or go home is clearly her motto.”

  “Shay, I’m so sorry.” He went to stand.

  “Stop!” I yelled, getting angrier because everything that had happened had been his fault. All of it. She never would’ve gone to these great lengths if it weren’t for him. “Just stop! I could go to jail, Kason! Jail. Me.”

  He opened his mouth to speak, but the words just wouldn’t come. Because there was nothing he could say. It was all screwed up. All of it.

  “Since I met you, everything in my life has gone from bad to worse—as if that was even possible. This all happened to me because of you! If you’d just left me alone. If you’d just been truthful with me. If you’d just not used me to hurt her. But you couldn’t do that. You’re selfish, Kason. And, I thought I could overlook it. I thought I could see the real you shining through and I liked who that person was. But there’s too much that I can’t ignore.” Suddenly, his room felt too small and it became difficult for me to breathe. “I need to get out of here. I need space. I need to think about everything. And, I can’t do that with you around. I need you to stay away from me.”

  He climbed to his feet, moving toward me. “You can’t mean that.”

  I stepped back with my palms raised, scared he’d try to touch me. And at that moment, I couldn’t even stand the sight of him.

  I could see the hurt in his eyes. “You’re just upset, Shay. And scared. Let me make this better.”

  I spun on the boots he’d bought me and rushed out of his room, passing Thayer who had clearly been eavesdropping in the hallway. But I didn’t care. He needed to know the hell his roommate had created. I hurried downstairs and out of the house, and only then when the fresh air hit was I able to catch my breath.

  I reached Kendall’s car and once I was safely inside, I dropped my head against the headrest. It hadn’t been easy to push him away, but the bad outweighed the good with us. And I just couldn’t handle that in my life.

  “Everything okay?”

  I turned my head and stared out the window, trying to keep the tears glazing my eyes from falling. “I said what I needed to say.”

  “Do you feel better?” I could hear the confusion in her voice.

  “I have orange hair, I might go to jail, and I just told the guy I was starting to fall for that I need him to stay away from me.”

  She was quiet for a moment, likely processing what I’d said. “So, that’s a yes?”

  I glanced at her.

  She burst out laughing, knowing what a shitty weekend I’d had.

  I laughed too because the alternative was breaking down, and Shay Miller did not break down. She held her head up and wore a brave face, no matter how much hurt she felt inside.

  CHAPTER 32

  Kason

  I felt sick to my stomach as I teetered on the edge of my bed, wringing my hands. What the fuck just happened? Shay’s words played on a loop in my head, hitting me in the gut like the punch she’d landed on Cora. She could go to fucking jail. And, Jesus Christ, her hair. Her fucking orange hair. How had things gotten so out of control?

  Thayer stepped into my doorway. I knew he’d heard what went down. Hell, he’d been the one to let Shay in. He had to see her hair. He had to hear her words. He had to see the anger I’d created. “Well, now you know.”

  “What?” I snapped.

  “What the aftermath of your actions looks like,” he explained.

  My brows furrowed, not liking where he was going with this.

  “Have you ever stopped to consider all the people you’ve used over the years to get what you wanted?”

  “Dude, you need to watch yourself.”

  “I’m your best friend, Kason. If I can’t say this to you, who can?”

  Though it sucked to hear, I didn’t know what else to do but hear him out. As much as Shay thought things were crumbling around her, I felt the same.

  “Up until now, being selfish has worked for you,” Thayer said. “But this year, you’ve gone too far. And now you’ve hurt someone who didn’t deserve to be hurt. She’s caught in the crossfire of something she didn’t start. And, it isn’t fair, bro. It just isn’t fair.”

  Heat pulsed in my cheeks as I clenched my teeth together, grinding them so hard my jaw ticked. “Don’t you think I fucking know that?” My anger didn’t stem from him being out of line, it stemmed from him being right. Shay wasn’t someone you took advantage of. Life had already done that to her. And, what did I do at the first chance? I fucking blackmailed her and then used her to piss off Cora. I should’ve known better, but all I saw was a way to get what I wanted. And, though things had turned around for Shay and me, because of what I’d done before, she was paying the price for it. Thayer was spot on. I was a piece of shit.

  “I know it sucks to hear this,” he continued. “And I don’t even fault you for it because it worked for you up until now. But seriously, bro. How long were you gonna be able to get away with putting yourself before all others?”

  “I wasn’t doing that anymore. I was doing right by Shay.”

  “Did you tell her Cora showed up in Salt Lake City?”

  “No.”

  “Then, you weren’t doing right by her. You were keeping shit from her. And that never ends well.”

  “She would’ve been hurt or pissed or I don’t fucking know. It seemed better not to mention it.”

  “Do you still think that? Because by the sounds of it, that didn’t seem the case.”

  I tunneled my fingers through my hair. “Well, what do I do now?” I asked, trying to push away the knowledge that not only had I lost Shay, I’d fucked with her future—the one thing in this world she cared about. I jumped up and moved to my dresser, putting on a black hoodie and dark jeans.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “I need to get over there.”

  “She said to leave her alone,” he called as I rushed downstairs, knowing what I needed to do.

  Yeah. I got that.

  I hopped in my Jeep and made my way to Shay’s dorm, blowing through stop signs since no one was around at one in the morning and I had a lot to say. I knew Shay didn’t want to see me. I knew she thought I caused all of this.

  I screeched to a stop in front of the dorm and threw my Jeep into park, not caring that I parked in a tow zone. That was the least of my problems. I hopped out, realizing I didn’t have an access card which meant I wasn’t getting in.

  Fuuuuuck.

  I moved to the window of a room on the first floor. The curtains were drawn and the lights were off, but I knocked anyway. I waited, looking around to be sure I didn’t look like I was about to sneak in the window. Given it was one of those push-out windows, I wouldn’t fit anyway. I knocked again, hoping the sound woke whoever lived there. Finally, the curtains flew open. A girl glared at me. My guess was I wasn’t the first one to knock on her window to open the door in the middle of the night.

  “Could you open the door for me?” I shot her the smile that normally got me what I wanted.

  She stared at me, looking about ready to hurt me, but then rolled her eyes before disappearing.

  What did that mean? Was she letting me in?

  A couple of seconds later, I heard the exterior door open. I rushed to it. �
��Thank you,” I said as she turned away from me and headed back to her room.

  I climbed the stairs taking two at a time until I reached the third floor. I banged on the door and waited, my hands gripping the door frame. My pulse began to race as I waited. Then I heard footsteps. I held my breath, stopping all the emotions that whirled inside of me.

  The lock clicked and the door cracked open. I pushed my way inside and closed the door behind me.

  “What took you so long?” Cora asked with a bandage covering her nose and a whole lot of makeup trying to conceal the black underneath her eyes.

  CHAPTER 33

  Shay

  I skipped my Monday classes. Kendall’s mom had paid for my hair to be restored to its natural color after hearing what happened. Normally, I would’ve rejected such an expensive handout, but desperate times called for desperate measures. And, as much as I liked proving I could rock orange hair, I didn’t want to.

  “Has he called?” Kendall asked as I moved to the hairdresser’s chair after she’d rinsed the neutralizing toner out of my hair.

  I checked my phone then shook my head.

  “How’s that make you feel?”

  “He’s doing what I asked, and I don’t have to worry about my hair turning another shade of pumpkin.”

  The sadness in her eyes told me she thought I’d been wrong to push him away. “You’re still going to see him in class. And, study group.”

  I shrugged, knowing I’d face that obstacle when I got to it.

  I hadn’t been lying when I said everything that happened was because of him. If he’d never coerced me into tutoring him—and used me to make Cora mad, none of it would have happened. I wanted my normal life back. I wanted to fly under everyone’s radar. I wanted to get my degree and do great things. I never signed up for a first semester of college plagued with drama. The only good thing to come out of my time at Cranmore was my friendship with Kendall and the brief taste of normal I got with Kason’s family.

  But now, I just needed quiet back in my life. But, with my future in Cora’s hands, I couldn’t even think about my future.

  ***

  I slipped on my black boots, grabbed my backpack, and hurried out my door early Tuesday morning, wanting to walk to class amidst the silence. I wanted to slow down the whirlwind that had been swirling around me.

  As soon as I stepped into the hallway, Cora’s door opened. I stopped in my tracks, contemplating turning around so I didn’t have to see her.

  But, it wasn’t her.

  Kason stepped out of her room. “See you later,” he called inside before closing the door.

  My pulse began to pound and my feet wouldn’t move. What was he doing there? Had he been there all night? I shook my head, having no right to be questioning it when I’d been the one to tell him to stay away.

  Kason turned his head, noticing me standing there.

  Dammit.

  I expected guilt to cross his face, but he looked at me as if he didn’t even know me. His emotionless eyes looked right through me.

  Was he happy I’d seen him?

  Was he just as angry with me as I was with him?

  Was this payback?

  Then, without a word, he turned and walked in the opposite direction, stealing the breath from my lungs and leaving a hollow space in my chest.

  I must’ve stood there for at least two more minutes, unable to get my legs working beneath me. I was the one to tell Kason to stay away from me. I was the one to blame him for everything that happened to me. But, that last thing I expected to do was send him running back to my enemy. To the person who’d made me look like a clown. To the person who held my future in her hands.

  Had they been working together all along?

  Had this been payback for that first night?

  Had everything up until this point been a lie?

  Was that why she’d been in Utah and he hadn’t told me. Had they been together this whole time?

  Oh. My. God. My knees nearly buckled as the truth came barreling at me at warped speed.

  This was all an elaborate lie. A lie meant to get back at me and embarrass me.

  I wanted to go back into my room. I wanted to crawl up into a ball and cry. I wanted to believe the Kason I’d gotten to know and the one who just looked right through me were two different people. But, he’d just proven that I’d be wrong.

  I pulled on my proverbial big girl panties and put one foot in front of the other until I was heading out of the building. I’d be seeing him again tomorrow for physics class, and there was no way I’d allow him to think he hurt me. If he and Cora were together—if he really didn’t care what she’d done to me—he was more selfish than I’d ever imagined.

  CHAPTER 34

  Shay

  The following morning, I stepped outside the dorm, surprised it hadn’t warmed up despite the bright sun shining. I wrapped my arms around myself and took off toward calculus.

  My phone rang as I crossed campus. I slipped it from my pocket but didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?”

  “I paid you because you worked for me,” Giselle began. “You weren’t supposed to leave the money in my nightstand.”

  I couldn’t help but smile at the sound of her voice. “Like my note said, I wanted to help. Not take your money.” And, that was the truth. She’d welcomed me into their home and made me feel like family. I didn’t feel right taking money from her.

  “Okay. Now for the second reason I’m calling,” she said. “I heard what happened.”

  “What exactly did you hear?” I asked, not wanting to say too much. Though I knew she liked me, Kason was her brother.

  “Cora pulled some nasty stunts.”

  “That about sums it up.”

  “Just so you know, my brother cares about you.”

  I scoffed. “I saw him coming out of Cora’s room yesterday.”

  “I. Will. Kill. Him.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “It’s not fine. She hurt you. There is no good reason for him to be anywhere near her.”

  Unless it was their plan all along to make me look like a fool. He valued his sister’s respect too much to tell her that.

  “I’m sorry, Shay. I thought he’d changed. I thought you changed him.”

  I’d thought so too. That’s what hurt the most.

  “I heard you broke Cora’s nose.”

  “Yeah. Did he tell you she may press charges?”

  “He didn’t tell me any of this. Thayer did.”

  “Oh. I didn’t realize you talk to Thayer.”

  She didn’t respond.

  “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business,” I said.

  “No, it’s just, he’s pissed at Kason. And he needed someone to vent to.”

  “Oh.”

  “Shay, my parents and I are here for you. Even if my stupid brother flaked on you, you still have us.”

  “He didn’t flake. I told him to stay away. I just didn’t specify where he should or should not do that.”

  “Yeah, well, the Kason I know wouldn’t have let you push him away. He would’ve fought you tooth and nail until you forgave him. He’s stubborn like that. So, I have no idea what fool has inhabited his body.”

  As much as it didn’t fix my problem to have Giselle on my side, it felt nice to have someone care.

  “You have my number now,” she said. “You call me if you need anything.”

  “Thank you. That means a lot.”

  We ended the call just as I reached calculus. I thought hearing Giselle’s voice, and her assurances that her brother was an idiot, would’ve made me feel better. But as I stepped inside the classroom, I just felt worse.

  My eyes flicked to my phone more than they focused on my calculus equations. I was dreading going to physics class, but I knew it was important to show up and prove that Kason hadn’t broken me. Once my calculus professor dismissed us, I made my way to the physics building next door. I’d gotten good at ignoring Kason prior to Thanksgiving.
I hoped it would be just as easy now.

  He wasn’t in class when I arrived which made it easier to relax in my seat. I took out my laptop and kept my eyes on the screen. And, even though my focus was on my screen, the hair on the back of my neck prickled. I could see Kason through my peripheral as he entered the class and took his seat.

  A pit formed in my stomach, and I hated that it did. My entire life had been plagued by disappointment and hurt. I’d worked so hard to never allow those emotions in again because I was so much stronger than that. But since I’d met Kason, those emotions had stirred to life inside me. Good, bad, hopeful, ugly…I’d felt them all. I’d let down my guard with him, and they’d all flooded in. He had no idea what he’d done to me. No idea at all. But, there was one thing I knew for sure. I wouldn’t let it happen again.

  Professor Raymond began his lecture and I lost myself in his words, not allowing any outside thoughts to invade my brain. I was there to learn. To get everything out of my free education as I could. I couldn’t lose sight of that. Especially because of a guy. A guy who didn’t even deserve me.

  At the end of class, I passed Professor Raymond’s desk.

  “See you tonight for study group, Ms. Miller.”

  “You bet,” I said, knowing I was going to hate every second of it.

  As I stepped outside the building, I noticed a group of guys holding skateboards. Kason stood with them, laughing and talking like his future didn’t hang in the balance like mine did.

  I was about to avert my gaze when Cora bounced over to him and covered his eyes from behind. He spun around and smiled when he found her standing there. That was just about all I could stomach. I turned back inside the building before they could see me and made my way to the opposite end of the hallway, sneaking out the back exit. It may have been a weak move on my part, but self-preservation was a strong motivator that I’d mastered a long time ago.

  If I needed not to see them together to coexist, then that is what I was going to do. I mean, he was doing what I’d asked and staying away from me. It was the fact that he was staying away from me with her that stung like a son-of-a-bitch.