Marked Souls

by Adrienna Turner

  Joy stared into her mother’s watery eyes. “Mom, are you sick?”

  Roya couldn’t express how she felt, even though she knew Joy could feel her body shaking. She looked down at her daughter, grateful she hadn’t lost her. Her daughter had her dreamy Asian-shaped eyes and tan complexion. She possessed her father’s caring spirit, his nose, his small pointy ears, and full reddish-pink lips.

  “I don’t know, nerves I guess,” Roya responded as she gazed at the huge whiteboard, leaning into the melody of the song, Abundantly. As she gazed, and listened, she saw the specks of light dart to and fro. She loved to see what she called little angels, and wondered again if it was the aura of life so many people talked about. This was the first time she’d seen the phenomenon indoors. Usually it was outdoors, staring at a blue or grey sky, or a white cloud. She was enveloped with the music that released her emotions.

  Roya suddenly became still as her memory replayed the suffering of Solomon, as if he was standing in front of her, and seeing her youngest set of twins dying again before her. She could still hear their screams as the scorching water melted off their skin. She replayed the images that were shown on the television broadcast which only showed horrific violent acts, rumors of wars, and further talk about Israel being divided.

  “Mommy, talk to me,” Joy waved her hand in her face and snapped her fingers close to her mother’s ear. “Hello, earth to Mom.”

  Roya felt desolate and lost without Solomon.

  “Do I need to get the meds Dr. Lead gave you?” Joy hopped off her lap. She waved her hands slightly, then touched her hand to her mother’s forehead to see if she felt feverish.

  Roya was still catatonic. She longed to find the reason to live, to be a mother to her living children, and raise them without their father. Tears streamed down her face. Joy raced out of the room and returned with a glass of water and a bottle of pills.

  “Mom. Here, I got your meds.” Joy held the glass in her face, and shook the bottle.

  Roya could hear Jewel’s soft voice ringing in her thoughts as it quoted Scriptures from the Bible on being under authority. She listened as the soft voice read from Romans 13.

  The verse opened a spiritual realm deep within Roya’s soul, and she heard her mother’s explanation of the verse. ‘God is the one that promotes us into leadership. He’s also the one that has control over those who he appoints in leadership, whether they’re good or evil, we’re still to have a willing and obedient heart.”

  Roya whispered, “Yes—Mom. I’m hearing you.”

  Joy held her mother’s cheeks gently, staring into her eyes. “Huh. Mom. This is your daughter, Joy.”

  Roya heard only her mother’s voice speaking in her thoughts.

  “Even though your husband Solomon died, he’d still be submissive to authority. Those men were under the leadership and authority of the CIA, chief of police, FBI, or special agents’ unit called the Task Force for the Secretary of the State.”

  “But, Mom,” Roya cried.

  “These men didn’t know the Word of God.”

  “Right,” Roya said in a low voice.

  “However, we’re under the authority of God. We aren’t to obey those who demand us to take the chip, or the ‘mark of the beast’.”

  Joy shook her mother. Roya still stared ahead. She didn’t snap out of it until she heard Sunny’s voice in the distance.

  “Roya! Joy!” Sunny called several times. Joy raced to Sunny at the sound of luggage falling on the floor. Roya rose from the cushioned seat and sauntered to the front door.

  Joy hugged and kissed Sunny and turned in shock at seeing Roya. She quickly closed her open mouth and extended her arms to hug her, trying to reach high enough to kiss away her mother’s tears. “Mommy, I love you.” She planted a kiss on her forehead when her mother squatted to her knees.

  “Joy, I love you dearly,” Roya sniffled.

  Joy quickly turned to Sunny. “Hey, Sunny! Can I help?”

  “No Sweetie. I got it,” Sunny said nicely. “I explained to you when you called me in the limo, and I took the rent-a-car, that I’d get the bags that were too heavy for you to carry.” She looked at Roya. “Hey Roya, come help me get the rest of the stuff.”

  “Oh yeah.” Roya shook her head as if she forgot that Sunny was coming to stay with them. She was on the same flight, but had been assigned to another seat.

  “You know what…um, forget it. I’ll go back to the car and get them.” Sunny shooed her.

  Roya rose from her knees. She moseyed back to the office. She stood at the threshold of the office door, and turned, staring sternly at Sunny in the entryway, and folded her arms, appearing dense.

  “I’m fine, Big Sis. I got this. No worries,” Sunny shot.

  “I know you do. Thanks for coming with us,” Roya said, “I just had another flashback.”

  “My pleasure. I know my nephews’ things will be shipped.”

  Roya glanced at Joy, standing defiantly to the side and pouting. At eleven years old, she thought she was old enough to take care of her mother.

  Roya sighed, and turned to step back into the office. She wanted peace in her soul. She couldn’t bring herself to pick up the Bible and read. I’m too tired. Her mother’s stern voice, ringing in her head, repeated the words she’d heard dozens of times since that rescue, “Only God can make the impossible, possible. You have to trust in Him to bring you through it all. We’re all praying for you. We all love you. Remember, it’s Christ who strengthens you through the hard times. He’s our Rock. He’s our provider. He’s our Father. Remember the gospel tune by Fred Hammond, and written in scriptures, No Weapon Shall prosper.”

  After her memory brought the song to her heart, she turned up the sound on the still playing concert by Avalon. The words stung, speaking volumes to her soul, “You were there,” when she heard the ending chorus and bridge. She broke out in rolls of tears and lowered her head onto the desk with her arms folded in front of her. Hearing the words from the song, You were there, you were there~ during the darkest hour~ you were there, you were there always~ You were the Victor and the King~ You were the power in David’s swing~ You were the calm in Abraham~ You are the God who understands~ You are the strength when we have none~ you are the living, Holy one~ You were, You are and You will always be~ the Risen Lamb…as the melody of the beautiful song ended, Roya succumbed again to her tears.

  She cried out to the Lord, “Humph. The snares will not succeed… Jesus!”[5]

  Roya spoke aloud, unaware that Sunny and Joy had returned. They stood at the office threshold, listening, “Lord, I constantly hear that everything happens for a reason. I don’t understand why I lost my precious babies and my beautiful husband, that I loved so dearly and I am so willing to give my life to bring them back,” She sobbed. “I miss them so much. I miss Solomon. I miss him.”

  Joy raced to Roya’s side and hugged her tightly, “Mommy. I miss them too.”

  “I know you do,” Roya wailed.

  “Sis, I am here for you. All of us are,” Sunny slowly entered in the room and ambled towards her.

  Roya ranted, “Lord, he was my soul mate. He was my life. Should I have come back to these painful memories?”

  “We know this, Sis,” Sunny agreed. She lowered to her knees.

  “Auntie Sunny, I tried to give her those pills and water.” Joy pointed to the meds and water she left on the office desk.

  Sunny only nodded.

  Roya continued as if she didn’t hear them, tuning them out, “It has been so long not seeing Solomon’s face, to hear his voice, and to hold him close to my chest. I can’t get him out of my mind. It’s driving me crazy!”

  “I won’t let you go crazy, Sis.” Sunny said calmly.

  “I have to keep my sanity and mind for my other children. Can you hear me calling for you Lord? I’m lost without you. I need you.”

  “But, I’m here Mom!” Joy whined.

  Sunny raised her finger to Joy’s lips, whispering, “Shh. Let yo
ur mom have her moment.”

  “Solomon was our provider, protector, and my everything! How could you send me a man and then take him away! Ugh! Ugh!” She made a fist and pounded on the desk until her skin became red.

  Sunny quietly eased closer to her sis and embraced her, calmly asking, “Are you okay?” She waved at Joy to get the meds and water.

  Roya’s eyes were bulging and her lips were quivering. Roya sprang from her seat, sporadically waving her hands in the air, hollering, “Do I look okay?” She pressed closer. “Sunny, look at me, do I look okay? Please?” Her eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, as if evil had escaped.

  Sunny didn’t respond. She held her hands up. Roya’s blood pressure rose and heat surged through her body.

  She wailed loudly, “I’m so tired. I’m so tired of people expecting me to heal. Not allowing me to grieve! Don’t take me wrong, I’m not okay. I’m far from okay.”

  “Here take these. We want to see you relax and ease your mind,” Sunny offered the glass of water and pills that Joy handed to her.

  She stood still for a moment, then reached for the pills and water, downing the two pills. She continued her rant. “No one clearly understands or gets it!” She threw her hands up crazily. Her eyes became glossy. Her face turned a pinkish tone. She appeared hot-tempered. Sunny rose and took a couple steps backwards.

  Roya looked in the mirror, yelling at herself, “I wish I could stop this burning…my throat is burning and dry from crying so much; my nose is stopped up and it’s so hard to breathe; and it’s so hard to breathe without him; and my eyes are bloodshot red like the devil himself.”

  “Sis,” Sunny said, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Dr. Lead gave you those pills just for moments like this. You’ll be okay.”

  “I cannot eat…I cannot drink…without getting sick to my stomach. Ugh! Waste of my breath explaining…” She fell to her knees and pulling on her shirt, yelling, “tear or cut my heart out why don’t you?” She tilted her head up and glanced at the ceiling.

  “Sis, you don’t mean that…you have no idea what you’re saying…” Sunny said as she tried to turn Roya from the mirror, hugging her tightly.

  She started contending with Sunny, “You’ve never been married. You have no clue what hell I went through. You have no clue what it’s like to watch your kids die alive! You have no idea about the nightmares as if I was there again, replaying over and over again.”

  “Okay,” Sunny said.

  “Then I had that outburst when they appointed Joshua, No one! I mean no one is on my side! I’m hurting deeply. I’m losing it! Do you hear me!” She raced towards Sunny like a leopard getting off its hind legs to jump in the air for its prey. She then grabbed Sunny’s shirt tightly and slid down to her knees.

  “Mom!” Joy shouted. Her feet pounded as she ran to Sunny’s side to step between them.

  Sunny eased herself down to hug her sister tightly. Joy hugged her mother too.

  “Mommy, please stop crying? You feel hot. You are not okay?” Joy cried.

  “Not now, Joy,” Sunny said, shaking her head from side to side.

  “Is it because of Daddy? Baby brother and baby sister? I loved them too, Mommy. I miss them too,” Joy wailed and sobbed on Roya’s shirt, as Sunny eased back to let them hold each other. “Everyone treats me like a child…I know! I know!” She shouted angrily.

  “You two need each other. You are right; I don’t know the depth of your pain,” Sunny raised her hands. “I don’t know your grief. And I’ve never been married but I do know what it is to love my family,” Her eyes darted at Joy and then Roya, “I love you, sis.”

  “I love you too, Sunny,” Roya admitted as the medication began to take hold. She gulped, and Joy reached for the glass of water. “Here, Mom. Drink more water.”

  “Please know I’m only here for you, Joy, and the boys right now,” Sunny whined as she also cried, tears dripping from her eyes. She mumbled, “I love you guys.” Her voice shook, “I love you so much. I never had such a godly, wonderful family…so please know I love you,” Sunny said in a comforting tone, not wanting to stir up any rage.

  Roya wrapped her arms around Sunny’s neck and kissed her on the cheek, tasting the salty tears Sunny shed.

  “I’m sorry…just seems like…well…you know…no one knows my pain,” Roya sobbed loudly.

  “I get it. Cry. Get it all out. Yell, scream, but I don’t want to see you physically hurt yourself in the process.” Sunny rubbed Roya’s bruised hand.

  “Why did the angel save me? Not save us all! He could have saved us all!” Her eyebrows crumpled as the tears rolled again down her cheeks.

  Joy cried, “I’m here. I’m here, Mommy! I need you. I love you.”

  “Aww, baby. I love you too Joy.” She embraced her tightly.

  Sunny reached to break their hug, “It’s okay. Okay.” She pulled Joy to her side as she looked into Roya’s eyes, “She just looked like she was losing oxygen…too tight, sis.”

  “I need you Sunny. I need you Joy. I need you, Jesus.”

  Roya was exhausted and fell on her knees to the floor. Sunny went to her side and Joy followed. Sunny fanned her while Joy planted numerous kisses on her mother’s face. Roya laid her head on the floor and began to sleep.

  Sunny whispered to Joy, “Go get a pillow and a blanket.”

  Joy dashed out, returning with the bedding.

  “Put the pillow under her head, sweetheart, while I shake out the blanket.”

  As they began to make her comfortable, Roya reached up to embrace her sister, and then reached with the other arm to hold her daughter near her bosom. She planted a kiss on her forehead, as Joy smiled.

  “Forgive me for lashing out earlier,” Roya said.

  Sunny nodded. “I know Sis. It’s fine.”

  “Sunny, you are a sweetheart and I’m blessed to have a sister like you. God brought you in my life at the right time. Thankful to have you by my side.”

  “What about me, Mommy?” Joy eyes brightened with excitement and acceptance.

  “You already know you are my joy. My life. My precious one, whom I love dearly and forever.” She kissed her lightly on her cheeks.

  “I love you more, Mommy!”

  “Not as much as I love you…remember, God first loved us…and then gave me a precious gift of life—you. Joy is that precious gift God has given me and your daddy, and know that you are loved. I love you so—so—much,” Roya cracked a crooked smile.

  New tears formed and Roya sniffled as she hugged and kissed her daughter again. Joy smiled and hugged her mom tightly as she planted her head on her chest. Roya rubbed her hairs over her ears and gently patted at the top of her head. Sunny gave a half smile and patted Roya on her knee. Then she blew her a silent kiss.

  Roya laid her head on the pillow and drifted off.

  Sunny Lathan-Battle

  Sunny pulled Joy back towards her.

  “We need to give your mom some alone time. Come help me with your pink suitcase.”

  Joy nodded. When they reached the foyer, Joy said, “She’ll sleep good—won’t she?”

  “Yes, we’re going to pray for her, you and I. Remember, Jesus said, whenever two or more of you are gathered, there I am in the midst. He’s our powerful mediator!”

  Joy raced with her small suitcase in one hand while she slung one of the straps of her backpack behind her. Sunny picked up her bag over her shoulder and followed. She ran into one of the bedrooms. But Sunny noticed this home had only three bedrooms and a large den, which Solomon had used for his office, on a single level versus the Florida house’s several bedrooms with a separate den. Sunny threw her suitcase in the master room. She knew she’d need to keep a close eye on Roya to make sure she wasn’t suicidal. She’d counsel her. Seconds later, she followed Joy into another bedroom. She turned around and picked up Joy as she dropped her bags on the floor.

  “Your room is next to mine. Do you want this room?”

  “Yes!” Joy screamed at the
top of her lungs.

  “Shhh. I get it. It’s yours,” Sunny placed a finger over her mouth for her to quiet down.

  Sunny watched Joy’s eyes grow like saucers and smiled. Joy is amazed!

  Her daddy had obviously had it designed for her. All pink, her favorite color, with a chandelier-like ceiling fan high above. Stunningly beautiful, she thought, as she read the verse written with calligraphy through luminescent stickers representing stars and the planets: When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet ~ Proverbs 3:24

  Joy blinked her eyes, and in wonderment asked, “Why didn’t mom ever bring us here before?”

  Sunny smiled at her, “I think your dad knew you would need this getaway. Come over here,” she said as she walked to the light switch. “Now look what your dad did,” she said as she flipped the switch off and they watched the night sky roar to life above their heads. “Your dad wanted you to be peaceful.”

  Joy nodded and rubbed her nose, sniffling back her tears.

  “Let’s go get the sheets and make the beds. We’ll all sleep well tonight,” Sunny said.

  Together they got the clean linens, covers and blankets on the beds.

  “Okay, sweetie. I’m going to check on your mom, you get yourself into your jammies and snuggle into your bed.”

  She checked on Roya, and noticed she seemed to be in a deep sleep, Sunny went into the master bathroom and began to run bath water. She added some bubble bath, and turned to see Joy taking off her pajamas.

  “Girl what are you thinking! You are eleven and acting like you’re nearly grown!”

  “Auntie Sunny, I’m not grown until I have my menstrual right?”

  “Technically, yes, you become a woman. Yet, our laws would stipulate that you have to be eighteen to be an adult,” Sunny countered.