Metal Mage 13

by Eric Vall

  “Piss off,” Urn snorted. “You saw how much they were capable of right out there in the lanes. You’re only moping because the dwarves got the jump on you.”

  Kurna glowered at the ground, and as ridiculous as he’d looked trying to strangle my dwarves earlier, I could tell it wasn’t just this eating away at him. The man had a daughter down in Cedis, and he’d been running around working his ass off for me without question all this time. He was one of the more intimidating mages I knew in this realm, but now, I was sending him to the frontlines in the depths of the jungle with poor odds and a bunch of unruly assholes to fight beside him.

  I hated to see Kurna looking so defeated for the first time since I met him, and I knew in this mind set, he was more likely to get his ass killed out there just for being distracted with his lot in the ordeal.

  Then I smirked. “Remember when we were fighting those Ice Giants off, and you formed that massive supernova thing that exploded over the whole valley?”

  “Yeah,” Kurna said, and he immediately chuckled with pride. “That was one hell of a battle.”

  “I still can’t believe you pulled that off with no warning,” I mused.

  “That’s nothing,” Kurna assured me as he straightened up a bit. “I’ve been practicing more regularly since then. These days, I could bring twice the power to the field with a wave of my hand. Probably save your asses all over again.”

  Urn rolled his eyes, but I gladly took the bait.

  “I don’t know,” I muttered. “I’ve been practicing quite a lot as well, and I’ve got more experience fighting in the jungle than you.”

  Kurna’s jaw clamped into a stern frown. “If you start showing off out there--”

  “It’s not showing off,” I casually countered, and I folded my notes about the platoons before I handed them off to Haragh. “It’s just me being, uh… you know. Better.”

  Urn stifled a laugh as Kurna’s eyes flared at the words, and the Ignis Mage was just getting to his feet to tell me off when Pindor arrived at the door. So, I sent him a smug grin as I turned away, but I was inwardly thanking Cayla for teaching me about ‘remember when.’

  It really did work for anything.

  My grin wavered when Pindor walked into the shop, though, because his girlfriend was glued to his hip, and the pair sent me identical waves while I tried to decide how to proceed.

  “Hey, Mina,” I muttered. “I didn’t realize you’d be joining us.”

  “Hey, Mason,” the Ignis Mage said with a sweet smile. “What did you need us for?”

  I glanced at Pindor while the kid just grinned beneath his black eyes, but he didn’t seem to pick up on the pointed look I was sending him.

  “So… can I speak with you privately?” I tried.

  Pindor furrowed his brow. “Why? It’s only Mina.”

  “Uh-huh.” I nodded. “I was just hoping to discuss some personal matters with you, hence why I summoned… only you.”

  Mina looked hurt by the statement, and I felt bad, but last I checked, Pindor was determined not to have anyone know he was a future earl, so I sent her an apologetic nod while the kid glared at me.

  Then he tucked Mina under his arm. “Don’t be a dick. What do you want?”

  “Alright,” I snorted. “I want you to lead your uncle’s army in the south because I need the Knights of Rainard to assist our efforts at the Illarian tunnel, but they won’t have enough experience dealing with the Master’s forces. Since you do have enough experience, and will one day be leading them anyways, it makes the most sense for you to be the one coordinating their efforts.”

  “You’ll be what?” Mina screeched, and she shoved Pindor’s arm off her as she turned on the kid. “Pindor, what is he talking about?”

  Pindor didn’t move a muscle.

  “Sounds like he’ll be in charge of Rainard one day,” Kurna offered.

  “He will?” Haragh snorted. “How did I not know this?”

  “Pindor!” Mina screeched again. “You told me you were a farmhand’s son! Are you seriously a fucking earl?”

  Pindor stared straight ahead like he thought the moment might pass if he didn’t acknowledge it was happening, but Mina only got angrier the longer he kept this up. She accused him of several things in rapid succession, like hiding it from her so he could move on to sleeping with duchesses one day instead, and then she launched into a tirade about the ways this affected her own plans, but I couldn’t keep up with most of what she said.

  So, I muttered my final instructions to Haragh about organizing our troops while I kept half an eye on the situation, but then Mina raised her hand to slap Pindor while her palm ignited in flames, and Kurna lunged over to stop her before she could deliver what he called a fire-slap.

  After that, Mina nearly set us all on fire, and my generals and I stood far back from the pair while we waited for the kid to do a damn thing, but he didn’t. He just remained stock still, and eventually, Mina stormed out, slammed my front door, and kept right on bitching about Pindor all the way down the lane.

  Then seven random elves kicked my door open, and as they filed into my atrium with daggers drawn, Pindor leveled me a furious glare.

  “Fuck this day,” I sighed.

  Chapter 15

  Kurna immediately barred the elves from me while a warrior from both Houses tried to talk over each other, but Pindor didn’t seem to care about any of the daggers in the room as he went off on me.

  “What the hell made you think that was necessary?” the kid demanded.

  “You can’t be serious,” Haragh muttered.

  “Come on, grow a pair,” Urn growled as he shoved past the kid to help Kurna out.

  “Dude, I tried to make it clear what was going down,” I told Pindor. “You’re the one who can’t dislodge your girlfriend for a ten-minute conversation, let alone be honest with her.”

  “Defender Flynt!” an elf roared above my generals’ complaints. “We come to inform you our warriors will be advancing on the ogre army in ten minutes time. You refused to do justice to our--”

  “No one is advancing on shit,” I firmly replied, but Pindor was in my face now.

  “Mina’s gonna kill me!” the kid spat. “Go tell her you were lying.”

  “Why don’t you tell her you were lying?” I scoffed. “It’s your own fault! How hard is it to tell your woman where you’re from, man? I’ve done it four times over!”

  “So, you’re lying to the fifth one?” Pindor said with a cocky grin. “Interesting! Kind of hypocritical when you consider--”

  Pindor broke off as flames erupted behind him, and I could tell by his screech that he thought Mina was here to light him up. It was just Kurna trying to contain the elves, though, and I knocked Pindor out of the way so I could intervene.

  Daggers soared straight at me while I quickly summoned my powers, and I redirected the onslaught before Pindor, Haragh, and I could find ourselves in early graves. Then I removed the seventeen other blades the elves were packing, and I ordered Kurna to douse his flames.

  “Using your magic against us breaches our allegiance!” an elf roared. “By the power of the heads of our Houses, you have given us every reason to destroy you and your filthy allies!”

  “Hey, you attacked first,” I clarified. “I have every right to defend myself because the heads of your Houses gave me their word you wouldn’t try to kill me!”

  “Aye,” Haragh growled as he came to my side, “and let’s not forget ye’ barged into a nobles’ home, which is grounds for the armies of Illaria to--”

  “Haragh, don’t,” I cut in, “we’re trying to calm the situation down, not--”

  “And now you threaten us with your whole army?” the elf demanded, and with a wave of his hand, the others dove at my weapon racks to grab Halcyan blades.

  Pindor could have shielded all of this, but he just stepped aside and sent me a shitty look. So, while I used my metal powers to send every rack on the wall flying down the hall of the mansion, I locke
d Pindor’s ankles in the ground with my Terra magic even though I knew he could easily break out of it.

  “If you’re looking for a demotion, you’re about five seconds away,” I warned the kid.

  “Good,” he shot back. “Fuck you, and the Order, too.”

  “Seriously?” Urn sighed. “Over a girl?”

  “She’s not just a girl!” Pindor belted, and we all tried to ignore the voice crack.

  Kurna ended up bursting out laughing, but the elf who shoved him toward the table brought him back around real quick.

  Then all my generals went after the elves, and Pindor had the nerve to dive behind my back for shelter.

  I tried to remain calm while I watched elves hurl chunks of iron and gold across the shop, and Haragh locked two warriors under his arms by the neck while Kurna wrestled his way from one end of the room to the other. So far, no one was bleeding too badly, though, so there was still time to fix this, and I asked myself what the next good cop move would be.

  Then ten dwarves barreled through my open door, and my left eye started twitching before they even spoke.

  “Defender Flynt, the conditions of this attack will not be borne,” General Kralok informed me above the ruckus. “The honor of the Arms of Aurum--”

  “Honor?” I scoffed. “Don’t bullshit me, Kralok, I saw you beating on my mages less than an hour ago.”

  “I’ll have you know you are addressing a decorated general of the--”

  “And you’re addressing the head of the Order!” Pindor cut in. “This man saved your asses up in Orebane, so show some fucking respect!”

  “Really?” I snorted, and the kid seemed to notice all at once that he was supposed to be mad at me as he furrowed his brow.

  “Never mind, kill each other,” Pindor muttered.

  “No, no,” I said as I turned on him. “Let’s talk about all the asses I’ve saved, including yours, because I’m pretty sure you’re the one who--shit!”

  I doubled over as General Kralok punched me so hard in the stomach, I went colorblind, and Pindor clocked my head with his knee as he jumped the dwarf for it.

  Then I rolled under my work table, but then all two hundred pounds of Urn came flying at me and crushed me up against the wall.

  He was up again like a shot as he went after the elves who’d managed to throw him, but I dragged myself toward Pindor because the kid had ten dwarves pounding on him while he was curled up into a ball on the floor. I still couldn’t stand, but I was able to pull three dwarves off him before I got an armored elbow to the nose, and Haragh was right there to return the gesture.

  Unfortunately, his elbow was as big as the dwarf’s head, and when the soldier hit the ground with a loud smack, every remaining dwarf dogpiled me.

  After that, nothing made sense as I threw dwarfs, kicked elves, and occasionally bitched out Pindor for badgering me about Mina, but under different circumstances, I might have admired his dedication.

  The kid braved a lot of body shots to get a word in, but no matter what he said, I couldn’t do much more than insist he stop being weird about this earl thing while I locked my legs around armored dwarves and tried to get Kurna to throttle down.

  The Ignis Mage had finally snapped, though, and nearly every time I caught a glimpse of him, he was slamming an elf’s head against my work table. A few times, he lit his own head on fire as he let out a demonic laugh and lunged at his next foe, but when he punched an ogre woman in the gut, I was finally lost.

  I had no idea when or why the ogres had shown up, but Grot and his moldy women were taking out their frustration on anyone they could snatch. Then Keeka sent me flying toward the door for no apparent reason, and my head smacked against the door frame before I crumpled into a lump.

  When I regained my eyesight, I found Alfred on all fours beside me, and I squinted hard at the man’s all-business expression.

  “Another thirty minutes has passed, sir,” the butler informed me. “Shall I summon your Defenders to assist you?”

  “No, don’t summon anyone else!” I quickly replied. “Just hide yourself and don’t let this ruin the burgers!”

  “Certainly, sir,” Alfred said as he bowed his head, and then he shimmied his way past the door while I finally found a chance to kick General Kralok in the balls.

  At least I thought that’s who I kicked.

  It was getting harder to tell anyone apart with so much blood oozing from our faces, and the stench of ogre funk overwhelmed a lot of my other senses. Grot kept sending his women to climb on my table so they could body slam everyone for him, and whenever their moldy asses flew by, the stench only wafted more.

  I was trying not to breathe in through my nose while I kicked an elf into my fountain and hurled some gold into the mayhem, but when I heard a familiar chuckle at my back, I whipped around.

  Nulena had her slender arms crossed while she leaned against the wall, and her amused grin contradicted everything happening around us.

  “Why didn’t you invite me?” the ebony woman purred. “I adore this sort of chaos.”

  “Nulena,” I groaned. “This isn’t a good time, alright? I need to get these assholes out of my house, but they’re ready to kill each other out there, so I can’t even do that, and--”

  I trailed off as Nulena stroked my cheek, and her powers seeped through my head to instantly quiet every thought in my mind.

  “I’ll take care of this, my love,” the baroness murmured, and she waved a hand past my shoulder.

  Then I jumped a foot as blood curdling screams sliced through the air, and now that everyone was blind, shit got way, way worse.

  Kurna started throwing flames every direction while Grot tore my whole work table off its mount, and the elves sprinted straight into the walls while they stumbled over howling dwarves. Pindor just screamed like he was in a horror film as he curled up into a ball again, and when the work table came flying my way, three of Grot’s women intercepted it and hit the ground.

  “Nulena!” I yelped. “Why would you do that?”

  The baroness shrugged carelessly while she watched everyone lose their minds. “They deserve to be punished. You’re welcome.”

  I clutched my hair so tight, I nearly ripped it all out, but then the walls of the atrium burst into flames, and a giddy smile came to Nulena’s face as she promptly restored everyone’s eyesight.

  All I could do was stare, though, as my other four women barred the entryway in a murderous line, and Cayla had her rifle raised while Deya hurled five daggers at once. Each blade managed to clip the elves in the room without technically impaling them, and I could tell Shoshanne was gradually cutting off everyone’s air supply now. The petrified screams were turning into wheezes while the healer’s brown eyes flashed with flames, and as Aurora kept her inferno raging across the walls, Nulena let out a happy sigh.

  “This is better,” she decided. “Punishment with visual flair always leads to shock. See the way their legs are giving out?”

  “That’s because they’re suffocating,” I muttered, and since I was out of fucks to give right now, I just sat down and braced my head in my hands while my women took over.

  I didn’t say a damned word when Deya threatened to skin everyone and feed their innards to her dog, and I didn’t even look up when Cayla promised to hunt down the family members of each person in the room if they raised another fist. Aurora made sure to let her flames close in, too, so my bloody allies and generals had to huddle together in the middle of the room, and when Shoshanne finally let them fill their lungs again, she informed them she would gladly take away that ability again if any of them caused trouble for the rest of the day.

  Then the countdown began as my women stepped aside, and Cayla cocked her charging handle when she got to seven, but the room was empty by the time she got to four.

  That’s when I finally raised my head, crawled to the fountain, and plunged into the water with all my clothes on.

  I didn’t know how long I was submerged in Nemri
s’ enchanted waters, but when I ran out of air, Shoshanne filled my lungs again, so I just stayed where I was. With every passing minute, the calming powers seeped through my body to ease my muscles, but nothing improved the sinking feeling in my gut that reminded me how royally screwed I was.

  Those tunnels were ready to ensure the downfall of everything I’d fought for in this realm, and the chances of me being able to do anything about it were dwindling fast. I couldn’t undo thousands of years of strife amongst the races, and I couldn’t even keep my own generals from losing it. All I could do was kick everyone’s asses for kicking my ass, but that hadn’t really done much to improve things.

  It felt good, though.

  So, I resurfaced with no idea about what to do next, and I braced my back against the edge of the fountain as I wiped the water from my eyes.

  Then I found my five women sitting around the ledge quietly waiting for me.

  “Hiiii,” Cayla tried, and she sent me a pity smile while she cradled her new rifle in her arms like a baby.

  Poor Stan and his dragon were quivering in Aurora’s lap, and Shoshanne’s eyebrows were stuck in a worried ripple while Deya and Nulena sat arm in arm.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I announced.

  “That’s totally fine,” Aurora assured me. “We’d actually like to talk to you, if that’s alright.”

  “Go for it.”

  “Well, for starters, we love you,” Deya began, “and we’re sorry we threatened to kill your allies and your generals, but we also don’t regret it.”

  “Me, neither,” I muttered. “I love you guys, too.”

  “The second thing we’d like to discuss,” Aurora continued, “is how to proceed from here. I noticed the automatons are finished, the ammunition is almost done, and Cayla gets another gun. These are all positive developments.”

  I nodded. “They are. All bullshit aside, I’m on schedule.”

  “Before we move on with our day, though,” Cayla added, “we’ve agreed you should visit your sex jungle for a little while to regroup.”