Longing For His kiss

by Sherri Hayes

  Swallowing, Grace took her membership card and swiped it through the reader. Just like with the other door, she heard a click. It was time.

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  Chapter 7

  The music was the first thing that caught Grace’s attention when she followed Katrina into the club. It wasn’t as loud as she’d thought it would be. While its beat did fill the room, the volume was at a level where it didn’t impede conversation.

  “Doing all right?” Katrina asked.

  Grace hadn’t realized she’d stopped moving until Katrina said something. “Yeah. Just . . . taking it all in.”

  Katrina chuckled. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

  They walked farther into the large room. There weren’t a lot of people there, but it was early. Even so, there was already a sub sitting in her Dom’s lap while he talked with another club member. The sub looked on edge, but then again that could be because she wasn’t wearing much and her Dom was playing with her breast with no sign of stopping or taking things further anytime soon. Her legs were also clenched together more so than was natural. If Grace had to guess, the sub had a vibrator somewhere.

  Seeing the scene made Grace’s internal muscles pulse. It had been so long since she and Kurt played. Sure, he’d given her commands to follow via email and through their random phone calls, but it wasn’t the same as him being there—being the one who slipped the vibrator in her pussy or in her ass.

  Grace was so distracted by her memories that she almost ran into Katrina, not realizing she’d stopped. Luckily, she’d caught herself in time before she embarrassed herself by tumbling into the club mistress.

  A tall man with broad shoulders stood a few feet in front of them, looking down at Grace. “Grace, I’d like you to meet Justin. Justin, this is Grace.”

  The man nodded in her direction. “It’s nice to meet you, Grace.”

  “You, too, Sir,” Grace said, wanting to be polite and respectful. Still, it felt strange. She hadn’t called anyone sir besides Kurt for years.

  Katrina ignored any awkwardness. “Justin will answer any questions you have. If you’d like him to introduce you to some of our members, he can. If you’d rather strictly observe, that’s fine, too. It’s entirely up to you.”

  “Thank you, Mistress Katrina.”

  Katrina grinned and glanced over her shoulder. “If you’ll excuse me, there are some things that need my attention. Come find me if you need anything.”

  Justin wasted no time once they were alone. “The club will get quite busy in an hour or so. Would you prefer to be on a leash or are you good staying at my side without one?”

  The look on his face was one she knew well. He appeared indifferent, but he was fully expecting an answer to his question.

  “I think I’m good without the leash,” Grace said. “I’ll stay by your side, Sir.”

  He nodded. “Very well, then. Let’s get you something to drink.”

  Grace didn’t object. In fact, she realized she was quite parched. She’d been too full of nerves before to notice.

  Moments after approaching the bar, the bartender was there in front of them. “What can I get you two this evening?”

  Justin turned to her. “What would you like?”

  While alcohol sounded really good right about now, she didn’t really know Justin or Katrina or any of them. She needed to keep her wits about her tonight. “Water, please.”

  “Just two waters for now, Brandon.”

  Brandon opened a small refrigerator behind the counter, retrieved two bottles of water, and placed them both on the bar in front of Justin. “Here you go.”

  Justin picked them up and handed one to her. It was kind of crazy, but something as simple as that eased some of her tension.

  “Brandon, this is Grace. Grace, Brandon. He tends the bar most nights, but occasionally Katrina lets him have an evening off.”

  Brandon shook his head as he wiped the counter in front of him, removing two water rings from the bottles he’d set down. She hadn’t even noticed. “Welcome, Grace.”

  “Thank you.” She was tempted to add sir to the end, but she had no idea if Brandon was a Dom or a sub. Sometimes it was hard to tell.

  “Did Katrina explain to you how the bar works?” Justin asked.

  “Yes.” It was one of the first things Katrina had told her during their tour.

  Brandon tossed the towel behind him and turned his attention back to them. “Justin showing you around tonight?”

  “Yes.” Grace swallowed. She was still thirsty and yet she hadn’t taken a drink of her water.

  Justin must have realized because he looked down at her water and then at her. “There’s no limit on water, or soft drinks.”

  Without a word, she twisted the cap off her water and took a sip. The cool liquid coated her throat. When she glanced over at Justin, he had a smirk on his face. She wished she understood how Doms knew stuff like that.

  “You’re lucky you have Justin here showing you around tonight. He’ll make sure you’re taken care of. It can be a little overwhelming for newbies,” Brandon said.

  Grace looked around the room. In the time they’d been at the bar at least ten more people had entered. She could only imagine what it would be like in another hour or so.

  One of those new people stepped up to the bar, needing a drink, and Brandon excused himself to help them.

  Justin turned to her. “Let’s take a walk upstairs before things get crazy.”

  He didn’t wait for her to agree, but she followed anyway.

  When she’d been upstairs with Katrina the place had been empty, of course. As soon as they reached the top of the stairs, it was clear that was no longer the case. The sound of someone moaning was impossible to ignore. A man stood, arms crossed, in front of a large window. She remembered it from her tour. He was staring into one of the playrooms. The same room the moaning was coming from.

  Justin didn’t appear to be fazed by whatever was going on in the room. “Grace, I’d like you to meet Cooper. He’s one of the club’s dungeon monitors.” To Cooper he said, “Grace is a new member.”

  The man had half turned as they approached to give her a once-over before returning his attention back to the room.

  Justin looked into the playroom and she followed his gaze. A woman was lying spread-eagled on a bed. She had a dildo between her legs while the man stood above her, a flogger in one hand and a magic wand in the other. The woman’s eyes were closed, her head thrown back in what looked to be pleasure. Again, Grace’s body reacted.

  “He’s brought her to the edge a half dozen times.” Cooper’s voice was even, businesslike, but Grace didn’t miss the bulge in his jeans.

  “I wonder how long she’ll last.”

  It was more of a rhetorical question, but Cooper answered Justin anyway. “If the sounds coming out of her are any indication, not long.”

  Another loud moan tore from the woman’s throat as the man pressed the magic wand against her clit. She arched her back off the bed, her breath coming in rapid pants. It was completely mesmerizing and Grace found that she couldn’t look away.

  The man bent down, not removing the magic wand, and whispered something in the woman’s ear. Every muscle in Grace’s body clenched a split second before a long cry erupted from the woman as finally she was allowed to orgasm. Grace remembered that feeling. The feeling of finally being granted release.

  A mixture of longing and sadness rushed over her. She missed that. She wanted that. But at the same time, Grace knew she’d no longer be able to experience it with her husband, the man she’d loved and served for most of her adult life.

  When she finally tore her gaze away from the scene, Grace realized both Justin and Cooper were staring at her. She couldn’t read the expression on Justin’s face, but there was no mistaking the one on Cooper’s. He knew what watching the end of that scene had done to her.

  Grace felt the heat rise to her cheeks and lowe
red her gaze to the floor. As much as she craved to submit again, she didn’t think she could handle a scene as intense as the one she’d just witnessed. She wasn’t even sure she was ready to submit to another Dom at all.

  Movement inside the room caught her attention again. The man had released the woman and climbed up on the bed with her. He held her against his side while he stroked and kissed her. The sight caused a knot to form in the pit of her stomach. Would she ever experience that deep connection with a man again?

  She barely noticed as another couple walked past the three of them down the hall. Or when Cooper excused himself to go help the other couple.

  Justin was patient with Grace. He let her stand there immersed in what was going on in her head without comment. It made her wonder how much Katrina had told him.

  She had no idea how much time had ticked by before she met Justin’s gaze.

  “We should head back downstairs. Give them some privacy.” Justin didn’t wait for her agreement. He placed a hand on her lower back and guided her toward the staircase.

  They were halfway down the stairs when Grace gasped.

  Justin noticed right away and turned to see if she was okay. “Do you need to sit down?”

  No. She didn’t need to sit down. She didn’t know what she needed.

  All the air left her lungs as she saw Alexander lower himself onto a couch about thirty feet away.

  She needed to get out of there. She needed to leave. Now. Before he . . .

  It was as if some cruel turn of fate caused Alexander to look in her direction. His gaze settled on her and his eyes went wide. So much for running away.

  ***

  Alexander couldn’t believe his eyes. All afternoon he’d wanted to go check on her, but he’d stopped himself, opting for a phone call instead. Grace had come out of her shell quite a bit since their first meeting, but he hadn’t wanted to crowd her. There were times he still saw the sadness in her eyes. He hated seeing it, but he also knew she needed the time to grieve.

  It was because of that he was sitting there staring at her in shock. The expression on her face said she was as surprised to see him as he was to see her.

  The urge to cross the room was almost overwhelming, but he resisted. She was with Justin. Alexander didn’t know him well, but he was one of the club’s Doms and often acted as a protector to new subs. He didn’t have a sub of his own and he’d been in the lifestyle for several years, from what Alexander had heard. The subs at Serpent’s Kiss, and more importantly, Katrina, trusted him. That didn’t, however, change the irritation Alexander felt seeing him hovering over Grace.

  “Everything all right?” Daniel’s question jarred Alexander back to the present, but he didn’t take his gaze off Grace. She’d frozen in place halfway down the staircase. Justin was saying something to her and she shook her head.

  “Not sure,” Alexander said to his friend.

  Grace tore her gaze from Alexander’s and turned to Justin. She said something, lowered her head, and rushed the rest of the way down the stairs, Justin keeping pace with her as she made a beeline for the door.

  Alexander stood and took an automatic step to intercept her. Then stopped. If he pushed himself, he’d be able to catch her, but to what end? They needed to talk and this wasn’t the place for it.

  “Do you know her?” Daniel asked, obviously figuring out who had captured Alexander’s attention.

  Grace almost collided with another couple as she rushed out the door. Only Justin’s quick reflexes prevented the impending disaster. She mumbled something, probably an apology, and then disappeared into the coatroom.

  Alexander sat back down. “Yes. I know her.”

  His friend looked confused by his tone. “I take it that’s not a good thing?”

  “I don’t know yet.”

  After Grace left, the night seemed to drag on. He couldn’t relax and enjoy himself. Daniel had tried to engage him in conversation a couple of times before giving up and leaving Alexander to his thoughts.

  The temptation to swing by her house nagged at him during his drive home. It wasn’t that late and he was almost certain she’d be awake. But he forced himself to go to his apartment instead.

  As he crawled into bed that night, Alexander replayed that handful of minutes when they’d locked gazes across the room. She hadn’t been wearing her necklace, the one he’d never seen her without. It only reinforced his notion that it was her collar. The collar Kurt had given her.

  He ran a hand over his face in frustration and released a deep sigh. While he’d suspected she was a sub, that didn’t explain what she was doing at Serpent’s Kiss. Grace had told him more than once she didn’t think she was ready to move on. Yet, if she’d joined the club, surely that would mean she was ready. Didn’t it? And if so, what had changed?

  There was also the question of what he was to do with this new nugget of information. Over the last month he’d come to care about Grace. Their friendship meant something to him. Aside from Daniel, she was his only real friend in St. Louis. If she needed a Dom, Alexander could be that for her.

  But did he want to be? That was the real issue. Did he want to cross that line? Could he? Even if it meant she really wasn’t ready to fully move on and only wanted to relinquish control?

  That, of course, didn’t even take into consideration the guilt he was experiencing for what he was already feeling when it came to Grace. She was his brother’s widow. He was supposed to look out for her, not take her into his bed. And yet as the thought took hold in his mind that’s exactly what he wanted to do.

  Grace was sexy, smart, kind, and now he knew for certain she was submissive. All of that together had his lower half waking up. He hadn’t been with a woman since before his last deployment. Until then, that had been perfectly fine with him.

  Shaking his head, he tried to push the thoughts out of his brain. Fantasizing about something that might never—and maybe shouldn’t ever—come to be was only going to add to his frustration. As much as he didn’t like it, the ball was in her court now. She was the one who’d changed the game by showing up at the club. The next move was hers.

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  Chapter 8

  Grace didn’t sleep that night. Or the next. She kept seeing Alexander’s face every time she closed her eyes, that look of shock and disbelief. What was he doing at Serpent’s Kiss?

  Okay, she knew that was a stupid question. If he was there that meant he was in the lifestyle. And instinctively, Grace knew he was a Dom. She remembered Alexander bringing her water that first day after she’d read Kurt’s letter. He’d taken charge and made sure she was all right, or as all right as she was going to be given the circumstances.

  She’d thought for sure he’d call on Saturday, or show up at the café, but he hadn’t. The silence from him was worse than if he’d confronted her.

  As she gathered up her dirty laundry on Sunday morning, she moved about in an almost robotic fashion, unable to turn off her mind. Friday night was supposed to have been a chance for her to feel things out—to see if she could fulfill her master’s last request. And if so, to take those first steps in trying to find a man she was comfortable enough with to submit to. Everyone she’d met had eased her nerves about this new mission she was on, and Grace had begun to believe that maybe she could do this.

  Then she’d spotted Alexander and her instinct to flee had taken over.

  Grace groaned as she tossed her clothes into the washer. Although Alexander hadn’t called her on Saturday, Katrina had. She wanted to make sure Grace was okay given her quick exit the night before. Justin was worried something had happened, but had no idea what.

  It occurred to her that she should probably apologize to Justin. When she’d frantically told him that she had to leave—now—he must have seen the crazed look in her eyes because all he did was nod and offer to walk her out. If not for him, she would have bowled over a couple while attempting to leave as quickly as her feet
would carry her.

  In retrospect her reaction seemed over the top and irrational. She’d apologized to Katrina for her rash behavior even though the club mistress had been understanding about it. At the time it felt as if running had been Grace’s only option.

  All it had done, however, was delay the inevitable. There was no way she’d be able to avoid Alexander forever. Sure, she could try, but somehow she knew he’d only tolerate that for so long. Sooner or later he was going to want answers and she felt she owed them to him. Kurt might have asked Alexander to deliver the letter to her, but after that, he could have left her alone. He’d done his duty.

  Thinking about the time Grace and Alexander had spent together in the last month had her feeling nauseous. Not because it was bad in any way. On the contrary. If not for him, she might never have called Katrina. The reason her breakfast was disagreeing with her was because on some level she felt as if she’d betrayed him somehow.

  She owned him an explanation. No more running. The next time she came face-to-face with him she needed to be prepared. Grace knew he would have questions. After the way she’d insisted she wasn’t ready to move on, he had to.

  Grace was still trying to figure out what she was going to say to Alexander when she arrived at her mom’s. Before she could turn the car off, her sister was striding toward her. “You’re late.”

  Grace glanced at her watch. It was five minutes past twelve. “Not that late.”

  Her sister linked her arm with Grace’s as they made their way into the house. “Tell me it was because you were doing something fun—preferably with that doctor you’ve been hanging out with—and not something mundane like doing laundry.”