Longing For His kiss

by Sherri Hayes

  “True. But I’m sure she’d have a lot more questions if you told her I was your Dom.” He winked at her, trying to lighten the mood.

  It worked. A tiny giggle escaped her lips. “You’d be okay with that?”

  Alexander didn’t answer right away. He seemed to be debating how to respond to her question. Unease began to fill her gut.

  The look on her face must have tipped him off to her thoughts because he moved closer and placed both hands on her face, drawing her in. She could smell her soap on his skin from their shower. He searched her eyes before pressing his forehead against hers. “You are more than my sub, Grace. Much more. I . . .” He swallowed. “I don’t have a problem with you telling your sister we’re dating.”

  “You’re sure you don’t mind?”

  He kissed her forehead, and then leaned back in his chair and resumed eating. “I’m sure.” He motioned toward her plate. “Your food’s going to get cold.”

  Still somewhat concerned over what he obviously wasn’t saying, Grace picked up her fork and began to eat.

  Several minutes passed before he spoke again. “How would you feel if we were dating?”

  She had to force the food in her mouth down her throat. “I don’t know. I mean . . . we’re friends . . .”

  “Grace, what I feel for you is much more than friendship.” There was no misinterpreting his words. He wasn’t talking about their play arrangement. “Besides, it only seems right if I’m going to defile my best friend’s widow that I at least be dating her.”

  “So you want to date me because of some sort of sense of honor?” She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

  “No.” The look in his eyes gave her no reason to doubt him. “I want to date you because you deserve more than just me coming over every weekend to fuck you.”

  Blunt. But she wouldn’t have expected less. “So what would that mean? Us dating?”

  Alexander pushed his chair back and reached for her, pulling her into his lap. He nipped his teeth along the side of her neck and ran a hand up her leg. Her heart beat faster, anticipation coiling in her belly. “It would mean you’d be my girlfriend.”

  “Your girlfriend?” She was only half paying attention to his words. Most of the blood in her brain was going south. “That sounds kind of cheesy, doesn’t it?”

  “Hmm.” He nuzzled his nose along her collarbone. “Lovers?”

  Grace sighed and tangled her fingers in his hair. “Better.”

  “I’m not sure I like that. Lovers still implies our relationship is limited to the bedroom.”

  “Relationship?” The words were barely out of her mouth before he pressed his lips to hers, cutting off anything she was going to say. It was the last word either of them spoke for a while.

  At a little after eleven Alexander said goodbye, promising to call her later. He gave her a kiss that left her breathless and wanting more, even after their intense make-out session in her kitchen. The man could kiss. It took her a full ten minutes after he walked out her front door before her heart rate returned to normal.

  The drive to her mom’s felt as if it took no time at all. She made every traffic light between her house and her mom’s, which in and of itself was some sort of miracle, or maybe it was a curse. She hadn’t decided which. Grace had kind of hoped she’d get stuck in traffic or something, anything to postpone the inquisition from her sister. If only Gabby hadn’t stopped by Friday night. Or if Grace hadn’t opened the door.

  Grace groaned. If she’d thought it’d been bad before . . .

  Luckily, Grace got a small reprieve. Her sister didn’t come out to greet her when she pulled up. That was probably in part due to the fact that they were experiencing a cold snap. St. Louis didn’t get as chilly as places farther north, but it wasn’t uncommon for it to get down into the thirties at night in November. Unfortunately, they hadn’t been above forty-five for the last three days. She, and almost everyone else in the city, was ready for it to warm up a little.

  A high-pitched shriek greeted her as she opened the door to her mom’s house, followed by the sound of a little girl giggling. Taylor.

  Hanging up her jacket, Grace followed the sound into the kitchen. The sight tugged at her heartstrings. Gabby had Taylor in her arms, half upside down, a huge smile on her face. Grace and Kurt had been talking about starting a family, but they’d wanted to wait until his deployment was over. He didn’t want to miss the doctor’s appointments and the birth because he was stationed half a world away.

  “Hey,” her sister said when she noticed her standing there.

  Grace buried her melancholy feelings and headed into the room. At least she had her niece. “Hey.”

  Their mother strolled into the room. “It’s about time.”

  “I’m on time.” Grace even double-checked with the clock hanging on her mother’s wall.

  “Barely.” Caroline stirred something on the stove and then removed two dishes from the oven. “Grab some extra napkins, and let’s eat.”

  Dinner conversation mainly centered around the upcoming holiday. Taylor’s father had asked if he could have his daughter for Thanksgiving. “I told him I’d think about it, but I don’t know how I can say no. I mean he finally seems to be taking an interest and wants to spend time with his daughter.”

  “What’s changed?” their mother asked, although the same question had been on the tip of Grace’s tongue.

  “I have no idea. I just hope it lasts. I’d hate for Taylor to get attached and then he takes off again.”

  Both Grace and Caroline nodded. It was a real concern. He’d been involved in the beginning, but shortly after Taylor was born he said he got a job out of state and took off for over a year. To his credit, he’d sent Gabby money every month to help with bills, but he’d never called or come to see Taylor. The only way her sister had known he was back in town was because of the postmark on the envelopes.

  “I gots a new toy, Aunt Grace.”

  “Did you?” All talk of Taylor’s father ceased and they gave their attention to the little girl.

  “Uh-huh. Mommy says we have to eat first and then I can show you.”

  Grace smiled. “I can’t wait.”

  The toy ended up being a stuffed animal. Apparently the dog was from a cartoon. Grace stood there grinning and nodding her head as Taylor went on and on. It had been years since she’d watched a cartoon and this wasn’t one she’d ever heard of.

  Gabby came into the room and made a beeline for her daughter. “Did you want Skye to take a nap with you?”

  Taylor held on to the toy in a death grip and nodded.

  Grace watched as the two disappeared down the hallway in the direction of the bedrooms.

  “It’s too bad you and Kurt couldn’t have had any little ones.” Her mother went to the couch and sat down.

  This wasn’t something Grace wanted to talk about. “Do you want anything to drink?”

  Her mom shook her head and patted the spot next to her.

  Reluctantly, Grace took a seat.

  Caroline placed an arm around Grace’s shoulders and gave her a one-armed hug. “I know this is hard for you, but things will get better. You’ll find someone else. He may not be the same as Kurt was, but that’s okay. You deserve to be happy, sweetie.”

  Moisture formed in Grace’s eyes, but she willed it away. She didn’t want to cry. She’d cried enough for a lifetime already.

  But her mother’s words brought back the conversation she’d had with Alexander. “I’ve started seeing someone.”

  Her mom sat up and turned to face her. “Really, Grace? That’s wonderful. Who is he?”

  Gabby walked into the room and took a seat a few feet away, the smile on her face saying it all. “He’s a doctor. Right, Grace?”

  “You knew about this?” their mother asked, the hurt in her voice evident. Grace could already feel the blush starting.

  “I stopped by Friday night and she was all dressed up for a night on the town. He was taking her dan
cing.”

  Caroline turned her attention back to Grace. “That sounds like fun.”

  “Yeah.” Grace tried not to think about Friday night. It wasn’t the type of thing one wanted to relive when sitting in front of your mother.

  “So tell us about him. What’s he like? Where did you meet him?”

  Grace spent the next half hour answering questions about Alexander. When she told them he’d served with Kurt, her mother had admonished her for not inviting him to join them for dinner. And then her mother had floored her with her next suggestion. “You should invite him to Thanksgiving. If he’s new in town he probably doesn’t have any family here. It’s not right for him to spend it alone.”

  She also heard what her mom didn’t say. Bringing him to Thanksgiving dinner would mean they’d get to meet him. Was she ready for that? “I’ll ask.”

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  Chapter 20

  Gabby had kept her questions about Alexander fairly tame while they their mother was present, letting their mom set the tone of the conversation. But when Caroline excused herself, saying she needed to make a phone call, Gabby got up and plopped herself down on the couch beside Grace. “Okay, out with it.”

  “Out with what?” Grace wasn’t going to make this easy. Why should she?

  Her sister rolled her eyes. “Your date, silly. And why didn’t you tell me? This is big news.”

  “It’s not.”

  Gabby snorted. “For months I tried to get you out of your house. All you did was go to work and come home. You kept telling me that you had no desire to put yourself out there again. Now here you are dating a doctor no less.” Her sister gave her a once-over. “And you’re obviously sleeping with him.”

  Grace ducked her head, trying to hide the red in her cheeks.

  It was no use, of course. Her sister knew her too well and she wasn’t going to let it go. “I knew it!”

  “Gabby, I—”

  “Oh, no you don’t. You don’t get to tell me you don’t want to talk about it.” Gabby grabbed hold of both Grace’s hands and waited until she looked up. “I’m so happy for you.”

  “Thanks,” Grace said. “I think?”

  Gabby chuckled. “So how is he in bed?”

  Grace wanted a hole to open up in the floor and swallow her. “Can we please change the subject?”

  Her sister released an overexaggerated sigh. “Fine.”

  “Thank you.”

  Gabby squeezed Grace’s hands, causing her to glance up again. “You look happy.”

  That surprised her a little, although sitting there thinking about it, Grace had to admit she’d been doing a lot better over the last month or so. That was due in no small part to Alexander. He’d made her feel as if there was still hope. Hope for a life—a real, meaningful life—after losing Kurt.

  Their mother ambled back into the room with a sleepy-looking Taylor. The little girl was leaning her head against her grandmother’s shoulder, clutching her toy in one hand and rubbing her eyes with the other. “This little one wanted to see her mommy.”

  Gabby abandoned their conversation and stood to take her daughter. “Did you have a good nap with Skye?”

  Taylor nodded. “She was really tired, Mommy.”

  Gabby brushed some damp hair away from her daughter’s face. “Are you thirsty?”

  The little girl nodded.

  Again, the scene between mother and daughter tugged at Grace’s heart. Her mother sat down beside her, taking up the spot Gabby had vacated moments before. They watched as Gabby carried Taylor into the kitchen.

  “You know it’s not too late,” Caroline said.

  Grace looked at her mother a bit confused.

  “To have kids of your own, I mean.”

  “I don’t think—”

  “How about this doctor? Does he want kids?” her mother asked.

  “Um. I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it.” Other than their play arrangement and their brief conversation that morning about telling her family they were dating, they hadn’t talked about the future at all. He was her Dom. And maybe her boyfriend? Even that was unclear. They’d kind of gotten sidetracked.

  “Might be something to think about. You aren’t getting any younger.” Her mother’s words hit their mark. She was going to be thirty-four next month. Her biological clock was ticking.

  Shortly after Gabby and Taylor reentered the room, Grace said she needed to go, making some excuse about needing to get things situated before Taylor’s visit the next day. She didn’t think her mother or her sister were fooled.

  Once she was back home, Grace worked mindlessly to tidy up, not wanting to have lied. She made sure anything that was breakable or potentially dangerous was either put away or moved high enough Taylor wouldn’t be able to reach them. It didn’t take her long. There wasn’t much on her first floor outside of her kitchen anyway.

  Next she headed upstairs to change the sheets. The moment she stepped foot in her bedroom the reminders of her and Alexander’s night together were everywhere. The sheets were still twisted from their bodies and the air had a heavy musky scent. With every breath she relived the memory, her body already wanting more.

  She held the sheets up to her face, inhaling as she stripped the bed. Alexander didn’t wear cologne, so his scent was more subtle. It was still there, though, and she found even that comforted her. She almost didn’t want to change the sheets.

  An hour or so later her phone rang. She set the basket full of clean clothes on the table before she answered. She knew from the caller ID it was Alexander. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” There was a pause. “How did things go with your sister?”

  Grace pulled out a chair and sat down. “She asked if we’d had sex.”

  He laughed. “Direct and to the point.”

  “Yeah. That’s Gabby.” Her sister did not know the meaning of tact. At least not when it came to Grace. Gabby was always pushing Grace’s buttons. But maybe that was a sister thing.

  “I’m assuming she doesn’t know about your lifestyle choice?”

  “No.” Grace knew her eyes were probably bugging out of her head at his suggestion even though there was no one there to see. “I’m pretty sure she thinks I’ve only ever had sex in the missionary position.”

  His amusement came through the phone. “If she only knew.”

  The color in her cheeks was back. “Yeah.”

  “You’re blushing, aren’t you?”

  She touched her face, as if doing so would somehow stop her reaction. “I can’t help it.”

  “That’s okay. I think it’s rather cute.” He lowered his voice an octave. “Especially when I’m doing things to your delectable body.”

  That certainly didn’t help cool her down. She needed to change the subject. “Um. My mom wants me to ask you if you’d like to join us for Thanksgiving dinner. You don’t have to, but when Mom found out you were new in town and most likely didn’t have any other family, she—”

  “Grace, I’d be honored to have Thanksgiving dinner with your family.”

  She swallowed. “You would?”

  “Of course.” He paused. “Unless you don’t want me there.”

  “No. It’s not—” She blew out a breath. “I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable. My family . . . they think we’re, you know, together. A couple.”

  He didn’t answer right away. “I thought we covered that this morning.”

  “That we would tell my family that we’re dating.” So did that mean . . .

  “Not only your family.”

  “Oh.” She guessed that answered her question.

  Alexander gave her a minute. “Does that scare you?”

  She couldn’t lie. “A little.”

  “Grace, nothing has to change. We can let things happen naturally. We can go as slow as you want.”

  She didn’t respond.

  “Stop worrying about what you might not be able to give, or have, or whatever is
going through that head of yours.”

  That had the corners of her mouth tipping up. “Habit.”

  “Do I need to come over there and spank you again?” She could hear the smile in his voice.

  “Maybe.” She was being sassy, which wasn’t like her at all.

  There was a rumble through the line. “I’m tempted to take you up on that, but if I come over there right now I won’t just be spanking your ass.”

  Her body heated and this time it had nothing to do with embarrassment.

  “But we both need to be up early in the morning and I want you to get some sleep. If I’m there, I’ll most likely wake you up again.”

  “I didn’t mind,” she whispered into the phone.

  Alexander groaned. “Not helping, Grace.”

  She giggled. “Sorry.”

  “No, you’re not, gattina, but that’s okay. I’m sure I can think of several ways you can make it up to me.”

  “I’m sure you can, Sir.” Her words sounded breathy and faint.

  “I want you to do something for me tonight.” There was something in his voice that did nothing to calm her desire.

  “Yes?”

  “I want you to plug yourself for me.”

  Her ass clenched as if it already knew where he was going with this.

  “I saw several butt plugs in your toy chest. Use the smallest one since it’s been a while. I want you to start preparing yourself for me, which means every night before you go to bed I want you to plug yourself.”

  “I don’t think I have any lube.”

  He paused. “It’s getting late. I’ll stop by the store tomorrow on the way home and drop it off to you. You can start tomorrow.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “And Grace?”

  “Yes?”

  He made her wait. “I’m very much looking forward to fucking your ass in the near future.”

  She sucked in a breath, her body tingling.

  “Good night, Grace,” he said. “Sweet dreams.”

  Lowering the phone, she pressed her hand to her forehead and tried to breathe. Something told her any dreams she would be having tonight wouldn’t qualify as sweet.

  ***

  Alexander chuckled as he hung up the phone. By the end of their conversation, he doubted she even remembered talking about where their relationship was going. He had so much fun playing with her, which was a definite plus in his book. So far, they seemed to be very well matched in the bedroom.