A Royal Guide to Monster Slaying

by Kelley Armstrong

  “Wasn’t me,” I say.

  Jacko chatters. I shimmy along the limb I’m straddling.

  “The bandit girl is that way.” He jabs his thumb in the opposite direction.

  “I know. I see something in the tree.”

  “Leaves? Branches?”

  “Ha ha.”

  “Spiderwebs?” He lifts one web-sticky hand and makes a face.

  I shake my head and peer up into the dark tree. That moonbeam still illuminates what I saw. It’s a feather. A bright orange-and-red one that glows like a lick of flame.

  Beneath me, Dain grunts with effort as he makes his way out onto a branch several down from mine.

  “Is that…?” He places one hand on the trunk and rises to his knees for a better look.

  “Firebird feather,” I say.

  I grin down at him, and I get a smile in return. He’s not looking at me, though. He’s staring at that glowing feather.

  “Wilmot told me there are firebirds in a mountain to the west,” he says. “I keep bugging him to go, but it’s too dangerous just to catch a glimpse of a bird. Not worth it.”

  “Not worth it to him,” I say. “I’d climb a mountain to see a firebird. And I’m definitely going to climb a tree to get that feather.”

  I expect Dain will object, but he just says, “Careful, princess. You’re already on thin branches, and you have that blasted rodent on your shoulders.”

  Jacko chatters at him.

  “Since you seem to understand me, rodent, maybe you can do the princess a favor and hop off while she goes after that feather.”

  Jacko settles in on my head, his back claws digging into my tunic shoulders.

  “Jannah always said monsters understand some words but mostly our tone,” I say. “A keen intelligence rather than actual magic.”

  “Yes, and I’ve already had your lecture on magic. I suppose you’d like to explain the flaming feather over your head.”

  “The feather will reflect any source of light, but it won’t glow in total darkness.”

  “Do you spoil everything?”

  “A scientific explanation isn’t ‘spoiling’ anything. Figuring out why a firebird glows or a basilisk paralyzes its prey is far more interesting than just calling it magic. The fascinating thing about firebird feathers is that they amplify light. That feather needs only a pinprick to glow like that.” I look down at him. “Don’t you think that’s interesting?”

  “Get your feather, princess. You can grind it up with a chemist’s pestle to see how it works.”

  “Don’t be silly. I’m going to make a pen of it. So I can write in my field journal even when it’s dark. I might also use part in a hair clip. It’d look amazing at night festivals.” I pause. “However, if I ever find a second feather, I will grind it for analysis.”

  He shakes his head. “You are—”

  “Correct. That’s all you need to say. Princess, you are correct. Now, let me fetch this feather while you do what we’re supposed to be doing: survey the landscape.”

  I lean to look the other way. I’ve been checking as I climb, making sure Alianor is still in her spot. She is. She has her eyes closed. Dain might mock her for sleeping, but I think she’s only resting. Either way, she’s in no hurry to leave, so I have time to fetch this feather.

  Firebirds look like peacocks but with glowing feathers of orange, yellow and red. They aren’t as rare as phoenixes, but they’re still one of the least commonly seen monster birds, which makes this feather worth the effort.

  I climb two more branches. Below, Dain makes a warning noise in his throat but says nothing. I am on a branch that’s thinner than I’d like, so I take Jacko off my shoulders and set him in a crook by the trunk. He curls into it and watches me.

  The feather is just overhead. I can either climb one more limb or stretch for it. The branch above me really is too thin, so I get my balance on this one. From below, I’d thought the feather was caught in the leaves. Now I see that it hangs in midair, swiveling in the night breeze like a dancing flame.

  As I reach for it, my hand passes through sticky strands of spiderweb. Mystery solved. I tug on the feather. It sticks more than I would expect from a mere spiderweb. When I pull the feather free, strands cling to it.

  I lay the feather on my hand to admire it. It is truly a wondrous thing. Jannah had several. She’d fashioned them into arrow fletchings so she could see their flight path at night. I guess that’s a more fitting use of firebird feathers for a royal monster hunter. Still, this is my first, and if I want a new quill pen and a hair ornament, that’s what I’ll make of it. My second one will be for arrows. No, my second will be for research. My third for arrows. I’ll travel to that mountain pass, and I’ll bring back as many feathers as I can find. That will make the trip worthwhile.

  Of course, first I need to convince Dain and Wilmot to train me. Then I need to slay the gryphon and become the royal monster hunter so I can travel to the firebird pass. And before all that, I need to question Alianor, rescue Malric and figure out what to do about the bandit clan trying to kidnap me.

  Until then, I have this one feather. I lift it, still smiling. When I lean over to show Dain, he smiles back…and then tells me to stop leaning and climb down. I tuck the feather under my tunic. The spiderweb sticks to my fingers. As I brush it off, I see the strands are thicker than usual, about the size of fine thread. They’re also black.

  Thick black spiderweb. That pokes at my memory, but I’ll figure it out later. For now, I wrap the strands around the feather quill so I can save some for further examination. Then I tuck the feather away, turn to leave…and see another flame dancing overhead.

  I lean, earning me a warning from Dain and a chatter from Jacko. Above, the spider’s web has caught another firebird feather. I’d missed it because leaves had blocked my view.

  This one is a tail feather the length of my arm. Silky fronds end in a glorious eye of red and orange and black. I’m so close. I can reach it. I know I can.

  It’ll just take a little maneuvering.

  “Are you coming down, princess?” Dain says.

  “I see another feather. A tail one right here.”

  His sigh ripples up. “Okay. Be careful.”

  I grip the slender branch above mine. I use it to pull myself up so I’m standing on the limb below.

  “Princess…” Dain says. “That isn’t safe.”

  “I’m steady, and I’m not going any farther. Just give me a moment.”

  “Quickly.” He pauses. “No, not quickly. Slowly and carefully. Please.”

  I inch along the limb. At the first ominous creak, I stop. Jacko chatters. Dain says, “I thought you said you weren’t going any farther.”

  I stop. When I stretch, I’m still a forearm’s length short. The tail feather twists in the breeze, taunting me.

  I snap a dead twig off the branch over my head. Then I use it to catch the strands of web and lift the feather with them. Holding my breath, I draw the feather closer, little by little.

  When it’s almost within reach, it slips. I give a tiny jump and grab my treasure. As I hold it between my fingers I see a big spider that’s come along for the ride. It’s the size of my fist, hairy and dark yellowish-brown.

  I know spiders freak out a lot of people. So do snakes and bugs. But to me, a spider is just another animal, maybe not as cute as a puppy but no less interesting. I resist the urge to examine the spider and figure out what kind it is. Really not the time. I shake the feather over the limb, and the spider falls onto it and scampers off.

  I’m watching that spider go when another one drops onto my arm. That makes me jump, my boots sliding. Jacko squeaks. I catch myself and the spider drops onto a branch below and then skitters away.

  Two huge tree spiders. That’s odd. Spiders are solitary creatures. There must be a good food source around, and this tree has attracted them. I peer into the canopy of leaves overhead. Is there a dead firebird up there? I hope not. I’d like to think these
feathers fell off a live one.

  I push the tail feather into my tunic along with the first. The end sticks out, and I’m rearranging it with one hand while my other clutches the branch above. I’ve almost got it tucked in when I feel something on my arm.

  Another spider? Really?

  I look to see three spiders running down my arm.

  I accidentally let go of the branch. My arms windmill for one heartbeat of sheer terror before my brain kicks in, and I grasp the branch again. One spider reaches my shoulder. I fling it off. As I shake away the other two, I see a whole stream of them coming down the dangling, broken web.

  It’s like I stumbled into a nest, but that’s impossible. Spiderlings are tiny, and these are the size of my fist. I take deep breaths, trying not to freak out. I might not be afraid of spiders, but that doesn’t mean I want a mass of huge ones crawling all over me.

  I squeeze my eyes shut and tell myself this is an interesting phenomenon, from a purely scientific view. A tree full of fist-sized spiders. I’ll have to make a note of it to research later.

  There. I’ve tucked this experience away as nothing more than a fascinating scientific interlude, and now I can face—

  A spider drops onto my head. I yelp, scrabbling to claw it off.

  There are spiders. A tree full of huge spiders. Dropping on me.

  This is not okay.

  I reach for Jacko just as a spider falls onto him. He jumps with a shriek and starts to fall. I drop to my knees and manage to catch him, but I lose my balance. I fall. I grab the branch below with one hand, the other still around Jacko. My body stops short with a shoulder-wrenching jerk. I stifle a gasp of pain. Jacko scuttles up my tunic, freeing my other arm, and I heave upward and grab the branch.

  I’m hanging there, with Jacko glued to my head, chattering in terror. One of the spiders lands on my hand, and I have to force myself to keep gripping the branch. Then something touches my boots. I start to lash out, but Dain says, “If you kick me off this tree, I can’t help you down, princess.”

  I look to see him sitting on a branch, higher than he was before. He’s holding my lower legs.

  “Am I allowed to rescue you?” he says. “Because I wouldn’t want to get in trouble again.”

  “S-spiders. L-lots of spiders.”

  He chuckles. “Disturbed a nest, did you? Okay, let’s—”

  He looks up…and one lands on his face. He frantically brushes it off and manages to keep hold of me with one arm. Spiders crawl down my body. Dain sees that and his eyes widen in horror.

  “Jba-fofi,” he whispers.

  “What?”

  “Monsters. They’re monster spiders.”

  “Monstrous sized, yes, but these aren’t—”

  “Princess, you need to get out of this tree. Now.”

  “That’s what I’m trying to do.”

  A strained chuckle. “I’m going to move your feet.” He does that, and I feel the branch below. “Now let go, and allow me to lower you.”

  He helps me onto his branch. I grab Jacko and tuck him under my arm as we both swipe off the spiders. They’re still coming, racing along the tree trunk. We scramble down as fast as we can, and we’re halfway to the bottom before the spiders stop following. I lean against the trunk to catch my breath. Jacko climbs down onto the branch. Dain turns…and a lump twitches under his tunic.

  “Don’t move,” I say.

  He freezes. “Where is it?”

  “Under your tunic.”

  He starts pulling at his shirt, but I stop him.

  “Can we leave it in there?” I ask. “I’d like a live specimen to study. You just need to keep your tunic tucked in for a few days…”

  I expect a sarcastic retort to my joke. But he just says, in a strained voice, “Please remove the spider, princess.”

  “Hold still,” I say.

  I reach up under the fabric and pull out the spider. As I do, he yelps and bats at the back of his tunic. Another lump scuttles underneath. Then Dain yelps louder, in pain now.

  “It’s biting—”

  I drop the one I have and pull out the other. I hold it up by the abdomen, watching its pedipalps wave.

  “Princess, put that down.”

  “It’s all right. Even at this size, spiders aren’t dangerous.”

  “That’s a baby.”

  I look up at him, the spider still in my hand. “What?”

  “Didn’t you hear me earlier? They’re jba-fofi.”

  I shake my head. “Jba-fofi are extinct, if they ever existed at all.”

  “Princess?” He speaks slowly, as if to a child. “That is a baby jba-fofi. I’ve seen one in this forest. Wilmot has seen a few. Now you have, too.”

  “You—you’re serious?” I stare at the spider. “A baby jba-fofi? I was joking about keeping it, but now I have to. Do you know what this means? It’s a huge discovery—”

  “No, princess. It means there’s a mama jba-fofi somewhere below us.”

  “Okay, but…Oh.”

  “Yes, oh.” He takes the spiderling from my hand and sets it on a branch. It scuttles away. “May we leave now? Or do I need to explain why we don’t want to meet his mommy?”

  Before I can answer, something moves in the undergrowth off to our left. We both go still.

  According to the legend, only baby jba-fofi live in trees. The adults are too big for that. They’re the size of dogs, and they build trapdoors on their burrows. When any unsuspecting prey passes, they jump out and drag it in.

  The noise comes again. I pull myself onto the next branch for a look. Something moves through the trees. With an exhale of relief, I realize it’s only Alianor. We are high enough that she doesn’t notice the commotion in the treetops, but she must have heard Dain’s yelps. She’s twenty paces from the base of the tree, looking around with her dagger in hand.

  That’s when I remember the mother spider.

  “Alianor!” I call.

  She gives a start and looks around.

  “Don’t move!” I shout.

  Exactly the wrong thing to say. She thinks I’m telling her to stay there so I can take her captive…and she bolts.

  “No! Jba-fofi!” I yell. “There’s a jba-fofi! Stop!”

  She doesn’t stop. She won’t know what a jba-fofi is—I barely do. I leap down a few more branches. I’m very near the bottom now. Both Dain and Jacko are waiting on the last branch, Jacko sounding his alert squeaks. When I join them, the jackalope jumps onto my head, and I start to topple. Dain grabs my shoulder and braces me. Together, we vault to the ground.

  As I grab my pack and start to run, Dain calls, “Watch—!”

  “I know!”

  A jba-fofi lair will be a patch of open ground covered only in grass. So I stay close to trees and bushes, avoiding empty areas.

  “Alianor!” I call. “Please! There’s a spider. Just stop. Please stop.”

  She slows and then halts. “Spider?”

  “A jba-fofi. It’s a giant ground spider. We disturbed the nest, so we know the mother is around.”

  She brandishes her dagger. “Stay right there.”

  “I will.”

  I stop and put out my arm to warn Dain to stay back.

  “Who’s that with you?” she says. “I heard you two talking on the hill.”

  “It’s Dain. He’s a monster hunter. We need to speak to you.”

  “I heard what you two said. You think I tricked you.”

  “I know you tricked me, Alianor. Your father made you pretend to be another captive and help me escape.”

  “My father didn’t do anything. This was—”

  Something looms up behind her. I let out a cry and lurch forward. The ground opens, and a giant spider grabs her leg.

  “Alianor!”

  She falls face-first as the spider drags her into its lair. The ground closes, and they’re gone.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  e race over to where we last saw Alianor. Her dagger lies on the ground.
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  “Someone else who drops their weapon at the worst possible moment,” Dain grumbles as we drop to our knees, patting the earth beneath us.

  “I’d like to see you keep your grip when a gryphon yanks you into the air,” I say. “Or when a jba-fofi drags you into its lair.”

  The ground where she disappeared looks like a moss-covered patch of earth. There’s no sign of the trapdoor. I’m feeling around when my hand sinks into the moss, and I feel an edge beneath it.

  I pull, and it moves. Dain catches his side, and we lift together. It really does look like a door—it’s round and constructed from dead vegetation and earth, woven with spider silk. More silk latches the other side so the spider can push it open, grab its prey and disappear back inside, with the door slapping shut behind it.

  We heave it up to see a burrow beneath. From deep within comes a scuttling sound and muffled screams.

  I hand Jacko to Dain.

  “What?” Dain says. “No. You’re not going in there alone.”

  “I’m smaller. I’ll fit.”

  Before he can answer, I drop my pack and dive into the burrow. I crawl down the steep incline as fast as I can. Behind me, Jacko chatters, and Dain grunts, struggling to hold him. A gasp of pain and two heartbeats later, the jackalope head-butts my rear end.

  “Princ—” Dain calls. “Rowan. Get back out here…” A grunt as he comes in after me.

  I keep crawling. It’s pitch-black, and I’m creeping my way forward by sound and feel. I hear the jba-fofi and Alianor ahead, and I’m moving fast when something hits the top of my head. I fall back, reaching up to ward off…

  Wood. My head hit a long wooden tube. I can wrap my hand all the way around it and trace it down to where it plunges into the dirt.

  It’s a root. I feel around to find more of them blocking my path. There must be a way through—the spider managed—but I’m blind down here. When I try to move forward, a root tip pokes me in the eye.

  The faintest hint of moonlight seeps through the open trapdoor behind me. It’s not enough to see by, but it gives me an idea. I reach into my tunic and pull out the smaller firebird feather. It reflects that light, and its dim glow reveals the tangle of roots in my path. With my dagger, I hack at the smallest. Jacko begins gnawing at another.