“You must be Tammy?” Mom asked.
“Yes Miss. Cauven, Tammy Harrington, I’m Simon’s friend.”
“She’s my calculus teacher.” I chuckled.
“Oh so this is your fault?!” Mom teased, “Call me Samantha.”
“Oh uh, ok Samantha. Nice to meet you.” Tammy stumbled.
“Seriously what is going on?” Mom demanded.
“He won’t talk about it, but maybe we could go for a walk?” Tammy suggested.
“No, it’s fine.” I sat up in bed.
“Lay down Simon.” Tammy and Mom said in unison, I was outnumbered.
They left the room together and I could hear gasps in the hallway as they talked. I worried Tammy had said too much, or not enough, or was pushing blame where it didn’t belong. They stayed out of the room for almost half an hour, I watched the clock.
When they returned, Mom was calmer but still disquieted.
“This is all over a girl?” Mom asked.
“Tammy, fuck…” I shook my head.
“Hey, watch your mouth. This isn’t a locker room.” Mom reprimanded.
“Like I said he saved her life and then she left, as Deltas do.” Tammy said. “He has been fine all year, a little down, but nothing too serious.”
“He did seem pretty distracted at Christmas.” Mom mused.
“It’s not a big deal; I just had a bad moment. I really am ok.” I tried to defend myself.
“How come you didn’t tell me any of this, not on the phone, not on break…” Mom asked roughly.
“I didn’t want to worry you, I can handle it.” I argued.
“No, Tammy can handle it, you are a mess Simon.” Mom chided.
“Samantha, like I said he has been fine. It’s little more than a broken heart I guess.” Tammy offered.
“Oh thanks, that’s cliché.” I shook my head in embarrassment.
“So tell me about this girl.” Mom demanded.
“Just a girl mom.”
“She is a Delta.” Tammy answered.
“Tammy, fuck…” I replied in frustration.
“Language!” Mom raised her voice, “She have a name?”
“Mavin.” Tammy answered again.
“That’s a name?” Mom said sarcastically.
“That is what everyone calls her. He saved her life, made himself a full on hero the first week of school, then goes full hermit on all of us and emerges with a broken heart and a pouty face.” Tammy answered and teased all in one motion.
At this point I was little more than decoration in the room. Tammy and Mom talked quite a bit, I think Tammy knew I couldn’t talk about the Deltas but she was under no such obligation. She could pass on rumor and first hand accounts of what she had witnessed. I could tell that there was a sudden point where my mother switched from concerned parent to holding back something, some epiphany that she aimed to keep hidden.
“That’s all I know Samantha, he doesn’t talk about it much. He does well in his classes, but he is alone too much.” Tammy looked at me.
“Well he was always alone too much.” Mom looked at me in sadness.
All I could see in Tammy was pity.
“I need to get back to campus; I left things in a bit of a jumble.” Tammy made her excuses.
“Tammy, thank you so much for taking care of him. I can’t thank you enough.” Mom gushed.
“See you in class Simon!” Tammy said as she left and closed the door.
I looked at Mom, “Don’t say it.”
She gave me an odd look.
“Seriously, don’t say it.” I smirked slightly.
“Well, you should you know. The girl likes you! You should be chasing after her not pining after some girl that left you after a week.” She said nearly exactly what I expected her to.
“Not Tammy, she’s a senior. I’m practically a child to her.” I said, fully aware of the irony in my statement.
“I’m not blind, I know what I see.” Mom replied. “Panic attack over a girl, never thought I’d witness that out of you, but you always were full of surprises.”
“Can we just let it go please?” I begged.
“If you like this Mavin girl so much, why’d don’t you go after her?” Mom asked.
“She’s a Delta. They…”
“I know full well about the Deltas.” Mom replied looking straight into my eyes. “Your dad was one, and I know what they are like, and I’ve heard the rumors. Things were a bit looser back then, lots of stories. None of it made any sense, but there were lots of stories.”
“I can’t talk about it Mom.” I turned away.
“Neither could your father.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No it isn’t, but neither is life. You need to straighten up and figure this out; you can’t be in the hospital. If you can’t chase after her, then look for her, if you can’t, then you need to move on.”
“Like you did?” I instantly regretted the words.
“Now who’s not being fair?” Mom said softly.
“Mom, I’m sorry.” I pleaded.
“Forget it, I brought you something. A present.” Mom said and pulled a book out of her purse and handed it to me.
“The Cavalier, 1976” I read the title.
“The UPT yearbook for two years before you were born. I didn’t buy the ones for 1977 or 1978. Besides this one has both your father and I in it. I thought you would like it.” She said as she ran her hand over the embossed cover.
“Thanks this is fantastic.” I said and paged haphazardly through it.
“I hope she is worth it.” Mom said cryptically.
I didn’t reply, just looked at the book.
“The doctor in the hall said you are fine, they are prescribing you an anti-anxiety pill, please make sure you take it, or I’m going to move into your dorm room and make you take it… or enlist Tammy in the task.” She said.
“I will take my meds, maybe they will help.” I shrugged.
“Simon, this isn’t the best time, but…” she reached for my hand.
“But what? I know that tone.” I recoiled slightly.
“Oh no, nothing like that. But the company has offered me a position in Belgium at headquarters.”
“Belgium? Aren’t they still a monarchy?” I chuckled sarcastically.
“It’s a promotion, a big one. And it means I get to travel and live in Europe on the company’s dime.” Mom pushed, I could tell she was excited but feeling guilty.
“I hope you take it. That sounds amazing.” I offered.
“I want to, but I needed to talk to you about it first.”
“Mom, take it. It’s obvious you want to.” I pushed her graciously.
“You know what? I think I will.” She paused, proud of herself, “Now, can you take your own advice?”
“What?” I asked.
“Simon, it’s obvious you want to be somewhere else. It’s so obvious you could have it tattooed on your face. If you… if you need to go, go. Don’t hold back, you only get to do this life once.”
“Mom it’s really, unbelievably far away.” I shook my head.
“I know how far away it is Simon. Go anyway.” She said with tears in her eyes.
I broke down and grasped the book tightly.
“Anyway, it’s time for me to go. We still have the summer; I’m not expected in Antwerp till August.” Mom said. “If you need me, please call, even if it’s just to talk for a minute.”
“I will.” I promised.
“I love you Simon, take better care of yourself. You can’t protect and save everyone, especially if you don’t take care of yourself first.” She gave one last bit of advice.
“I love you too.” I said as she hurried herself out the door.
I looked down at the book in my hand and quickly found both my mother and father, looking as young as I did. I hadn’t seen the photos before. I imagined seeing them on campus, walking arm in arm between classes.
Then I got an idea and flipp
ed to the index in the back.
“Lucazka…” I said out loud as I ran my finger down the list of names and turned to the right page.
In the upper right hand corner were Gavin, Ross and Eve all lined up in a row looking just the same as I had seen them before. Not a year aged between then and now, the picture of Eve had been taken twenty one years ago, but could have been taken last week. The panic I had felt before melted away and I just stared at her across time and space. Around her photo a heart was drawn in felt tipped marker. I ran my finger over her face… and the ink was still fresh.
Somehow she knew.
Chapter Twelve: Left Behind
The remainder of the school year passed without incident. In my free time I attended a few parties after being invited to the Gamma house, or by Sammy. I even went on a couple friendly dates with Tammy which only confirmed our friendship. Mackayla moved on from her crush on me and bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend for most of the year.
The Delta building remained closed to me, I would watch the building during my lunches outside and an occasional employee would enter or exit, the loading docks would sometimes have a truck dropping off or picking up a delivery. From the outside it seemed like any other building on campus in terms of activity. I never approached, it was made clear that I wouldn’t be welcomed back and my personal relationship with Eve may have granted me special access, it was at her pleasure and under her umbrella, and she wasn’t there.
I spent a lot of time thinking about what she was doing, and tried to do the math as to the time differential. I had a mental picture of her in a field in a cotton dress and a big straw hat plowing up a field and gardening. The thought of her digging in the dirt in a white dress made me smile at times when I needed a smile, even if the picture was completely in my own mind.
When summer arrived and I moved out of the dorm it was hard to say goodbye to Sammy, he and I had grown to be friends even though we were so completely different in nearly every aspect. In the end it was a fist bump and a ‘see you around man’ and we were parted.
Tammy was a different story altogether, we had long since established that there were no romantic feelings between us on either side, but we had grown very friendly. She had accepted a teaching role on campus and would have two classes in addition to her graduate studies. She promised to stop by the house in Brecken to see me at least once over the summer.
Moving back home for the summer was easier than I thought it would be, although it was obvious that mom had thrown herself into her work since I had left for school. I had a lot of time alone. The house was up for sale and attracted a lot of attention, with me in school a town over and mom moving to Belgium there was no reason to keep it. However it would be sad to walk away from the only home I had ever known.
I spent most of the summer going through and packing old boxes to go into storage, a lot of our accumulated clutter simply went into the trash. The house sold and after the longest hug she had ever given me in my life, Mom got on a flight for Europe.
“I will see you when I see you.” She said, “I will call when I land.” And we exchanged I love you’s.
We never talked about Eve or about the Deltas after the hospital, the topic was avoided. I knew what I wanted, but a large part of me wondered if the opportunity was gone. A year was a long time, but from Eve’s point of view it had been even longer. We had by design exchanged no promises or commitments. We had left on good, but neutral terms.
I spent my week before I could move into the dorms again homeless and sleeping on the couch in the Tau sorority house. Tammy had convinced the girls I was harmless, and since she was House Mother for the year nobody questioned her. I got to see my share of college girls in bras and panties for a week, but eventually was very happy to move into my own space. This time, I managed to get a room to myself on a lower floor.
Rush week was again warming up on campus; the legendary party on Greek Row would be an ocean of freshmen once again. I had developed a romantic plan in my head, a fantasy of finding Eve at a party at the beginning of Rush week and having another week to get to know each other again I wanted to begin anew and this time make the right decision.
I walked from party to party, dressed to the nines and looking for her face. I walked through the Sigma house, the Beta house, the Psi house, lots of beer, lots of pretty girls… but no Eve.
Last was the Gamma house, it’s proximity to Delta was a plus and was where I expected to find her. But she wasn’t there. Nobody had seen any Deltas this year, although the Gamma brothers did tell me that activity had picked up again just before Rush week.
“Trucks coming and going, you know. Same shit different year. They blocked the alley for two whole days last week, I had to park on the street.” Jake complained to Jeremiah and I when I enquired.
“So, you gonna be a late pledge for us this year Simon?” Jeremiah asked me.
“You guys are awesome, I just don’t know if the Greek thing is right for me.” I shrugged and dismissed their recruitment pitches.
“Well you are welcome any time, you know that.” Jake patted me on the back.
I walked along the alley between Gamma and Delta, drunk partiers and people making out. The bloodstains from the year before had long faded and I could no longer mark the exact spot where Eve had laid in the street.
When I approached the Delta building and rang the bell, no answer came.
“Simon Cauven. Is Eve… uh, Mavin there?” I said into the box, but no reply came. I waited and tried again but was answered by nothing but silence.
I tried again for the next four days. On Sunday I politely rang the bell and waited, but got no response. On Monday I did the same thing. On Tuesday I banged on the door and came back later in the day and did it again, no response. On Wednesday I just sat on the ground in front of the door and ate my lunch, I never rang the bell, just looked into the camera every so often. Thursday I kicked the door a few times but it didn’t budge.
By Friday evening I was starting to panic. I had walked campus, attended parties, visited the door of Delta every day, she just wasn’t to be found and nobody at Delta seemed to want to deal with me.
Friday evening when I walked to the door and pressed the button there was no change, no crackling voice from the box, no voice asking me who I was or what I wanted, just silence.
“Eve!” I called out and banged on the door with my fist.
No answer.
“Someone let me talk to Eve!” I called out again and started kicking the door.
No answer.
“Ross? Gavin? Audriana? Austringer?!” I shouted into the little speaker box.
“Someone let me talk to Eve!” I yelled again.
No response.
I sat down and stared at the door for a long time, at first in frustration, but soon my stare turned to glare and I felt anger starting to well up inside of me.
“Hey, what the fuck?!” I shouted up at the camera, “I don’t even deserve an explanation?!”
No response.
It was then I noticed a large paving stone cracked in half in the landscaping. I picked it up and in pure rage threw it at the door scratching it slightly.
No response.
I picked up the stone again and sprinted at the metal door, I held the rock just above my center of gravity and plunged it at the door with my shoulder.
The dent in the door was not small; I had marred it pretty good. Certainly everyone within that side of the building had heard the impact.
“Eve!” I yelled again.
This time the door clicked unlocked and before it could close behind me I heard Ross say, “She isn’t here Simon.”
When the lights came on in the little room Ross looked the exact same as he did a year prior, blonde, tall and charismatic.
“What do you mean she isn’t here? Where is she?” I demanded.
“You know where she is, she didn’t come this cycle.” Ross explained.
“What? Why not? I thought…
”
“You thought what, that she would wait a decade for a little boy and then run back into his arms again at the first opportunity?” Ross said.
“I…” I stammered, “I just wanted to see her again.”
“She’s not like that Simon, not at all. She liked you, she liked you a lot. But…” Ross stopped.
“But it’s too late.” I said lowering my head.
“Mmm Hmm.” Ross nodded.
I turned around totally distraught but maintained my composure. Gavin walked in and stood next to Ross.
“You fucking massacred our door man.” Gavin said as he walked in.
“It got me in didn’t it?” I said coldly.
“You’ve been knocking on the door for a week and finally got the courage to grow some balls and do something, I’m proud of you.” Gavin said condescendingly.
“I’ve been knocking for a week and you couldn’t just open the door and say… ‘Hey Simon, we hear you but Eve doesn’t want to see you and you need to leave, so get the fuck out of here and don’t come back.’ I couldn’t even get the common fucking courtesy of…” I shouted angrily.
“Ross never said she didn’t want to see you.” Gavin cut me off.
“What?” I turned around.
“Look, you fucking wrecked our little sister.” Ross started, “Seriously, you fucking wrecked her.”
“She doesn’t want to come back Earthside ever again, or so she says.” Gavin explained.
“Because of me? We left on good terms.” I seemed shocked.
“And for you, that was enough. But not for her. Ten years is a long time.” Ross explained.
“You can’t have a relationship with someone with just one week a decade, no matter if you are soul-mates or just lovers. Absence makes the heart grow bitter.” Gavin looked at me stoically.
“You were right Ross, I made the wrong decision a year ago.” I looked to him.
“Yes, you did.” He replied.
“Would you do it again?” Gavin asked.
“Yes, I made the wrong decision for the right reasons. I couldn’t just abandon my mother like that.” I answered.
“What has changed, why are you here battering down our door? You know we are leaving in the morning.”
Deltas: Delta Horizon Book One Page 11
