Finding the Fight: A Stealth Ops Novel

by Sahin, Brittney

  “I never would’ve expected this of Samir.” She thought back to Syria, to when she’d first met him.

  “People change,” Asher said, still not looking at her.

  “You were right,” she whispered, knowing only Asher would understand the past tense meaning of her words.

  And before anyone could say anything else, the door opened and an officer stepped into the room. “The captain needs a word.”

  Luke patted her on the arm and then bent forward and kissed her forehead. “We’ll get this all straightened out. I don’t want you to worry.” Her brother’s eyes welled, and it had her heart squeezing.

  “Okay,” she mouthed and lowered her lids.

  At the sound of the door closing, she opened her eyes. Her heart stammered in her chest at the sight of Asher still in the room.

  His arms were pinned to his sides, the back of his head resting against the door.

  “Shouldn’t you be with the team?” She attempted to sit again, but her body resisted the movement. She contemplated trying one more time—damned if she would quit. But . . . something inside of her did want to give in, to break. To shut down.

  “I’ll go, but, I, uh”—he scratched at his beard, and then his booted feet moved slowly to her bedside—“I needed a minute alone with you.”

  “I’m okay if you’re going to ask that.” She sniffled. She needed him to go before he witnessed her breakdown. She couldn’t expose a chink in her armor, not even to him. “Go.” Shit. She heard the break in her voice. And she knew the quiver in her bottom lip was now exposed.

  “Jessica.” Her name was like water pouring from his lips, and it had her stomach tightening, a desperate attempt to keep it together.

  “Please. Go. I need to be alone.” Her eyes blurred. “Go,” she cried, her chest shaky. A sob threatening.

  “No.” His voice was firm. Commanding. And it had her looking at him, straight in the eyes. “I almost lost you. I . . .” He smoothed his thumb over her cheek and dragged in a lungful of air as if he were in as much pain as she was.

  “I’m okay.”

  The weight of the bed lightly shifted as he pressed one hand down next to her, and his free hand swept the stray tear from her face. He kept his palm there, cupping her cheek. “I’m just so damn glad you’re all right. I don’t know what I would’ve done if we didn’t get to you in time. Leaving you to go to the other bomb—”

  “Was what I wanted, and I would’ve never forgiven you if you hadn’t saved those people.”

  She pressed her lips into a tight line, willing away the tears.

  A moment later, he whispered, “No one has to know.” His thumb swept lightly over her skin in small circles. “No one has to know you cried but me.” His brows slanted in. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

  And when he lowered his forehead gently to hers, her lids closed again, and a broken cry fled her mouth.

  He remained there against her, still cupping her cheek. She reached up to grip his bicep . . . and she cried.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Suspension until further notice.” Luke braced his palms against the table in the conference room.

  “Even Owen and Echo Team? They weren’t even there.” Asher gripped the back of the rolling chair in front of him and surveyed the guys from Echo and Bravo who were gathered around the table in their New York office.

  “One takes a hit. We all fall,” Luke said.

  “And Jessica?” Asher’s knuckles whitened with his firm hold of the chair, and he glanced out the wall of windows, observing the sun disappearing behind the buildings off in the distance.

  “She’s suspended, too.” Luke shook his head. “Not that she should be working anytime soon, anyway.”

  Wyatt’s head jerked back in surprise. “Why her?” His palms slapped the table in front of him.

  “Because of Ara?” Asher asked. “Punishment for ever helping her in the first place.” He looked back to Luke at the head of the table.

  He simply nodded. “We can handle ops for the company until we’re cleared to operate for POTUS again.”

  “If we’re ever cleared,” Owen noted.

  “Don’t worry,” Luke said. “We’ll work this out.”

  Liam rose from the table, his shoulders sagging ever so slightly. “Does this mean we’re not allowed to look for Samir?”

  “Or Egon since he slipped the Germans?” Asher released the chair and crossed his arms, trying to fight the angry bite of tension roping up and into his biceps. The need to hit something surged fiercer than ever. A soft hiss left his lips.

  “We’re under strict orders not to further pursue anyone connected to Berlin.” Luke hung his head. “Since we stopped the second attack, POTUS managed to cover for our presence in Germany with the police, but we need to lie low for a bit. The security footage was scrubbed, so IDs won’t be made on us, thanks to the CIA, but Jessica . . .”

  “The media,” Asher grumbled under his breath.

  Luke straightened and looked at him. “Her alias is sticking with the media so far. The interviews she gave over the phone with them should get everyone off her back.”

  “I don’t think Samir will come looking for her with heat on him. Not now, at least.” Owen’s hazel eyes met Asher’s. “But we’re not going to let this go, are we?” He directed his question back to Luke.

  Luke’s mouth tightened, and he shook his head. “Just stay under the radar, okay? I have a feeling there’s more going on that we’re not being told.”

  “Because Rutherford took an interest in the girls?” Wyatt sat taller, and Asher’s gaze journeyed from him to Luke.

  “Maybe. I don’t know, but I’ve got a gut feeling we’re being kept in the dark, and I don’t like it.” Luke rubbed his jaw. “Thanks for all of your help in getting Jessica home,” he added after a moment of silence seized the room.

  “She’s one of us,” Knox said. “No other outcome would’ve been acceptable.” He stood, and the rest of the guys followed suit.

  “One other thing.” Luke’s hands rested on his hips. “Jessica’s asked not to have any visitors right now. She’s, uh”—he looked at the ceiling and took a breath—“going through a lot, and she’s just not up for it.”

  The guys nodded in understanding, even if they didn’t like it. Since they’d gotten back yesterday, they’d pretty much emptied the shops in the area and flooded her home with every type of flower imaginable.

  Asher waited for the room to clear before heading over to Luke. “What else did POTUS say?”

  “It’s more what he didn’t say, to be honest.” Luke leaned forward, resting his forearms on the back of the rolling chair in front of him.

  “That’s why you think there’s more to this?” Asher squared his stance, and Luke nodded. “You know Jessica won’t be able to let go. She’s like us.”

  Luke touched his mouth, his brows pulling together. He stood up straight and lightly shook his head. “She needs to recover is what she needs to do.”

  “This is Jessica we’re talking about.” Asher arched a brow.

  “Well, my parents just flew in, so hopefully they can keep her in bed while they’re here.”

  He’d planned on going to her place to check on her regardless of her no-visitors-allowed rule, but at that news . . . “I’m glad they’re here.”

  “I’ll have Eva stop by with Lara, too.”

  Their baby was only ten weeks old, and some days he still couldn’t believe Luke was a father. But the reminder had been slammed into him hard on Luke’s first mission back from paternity—a mission to rescue his sister.

  “You sticking around the city?” Luke asked as they moved into the hall and headed toward the lobby.

  “Yeah, of course.” He glanced at him when Luke stopped walking.

  “Can I ask you something?” He smoothed a hand over his jaw.

  “Sure.”

  “Is there something going on with you and my sister?”

  Asher cleared his
throat, his eyes widening a fraction. “We’re friends, and she was just put through the wringer.”

  “That’s all it is?” Luke raised a brow. “You guys worked together on an op I didn’t know about, and you kept her secret about Ara from me. And—”

  “I’d stop there.” He released a slow breath, trying to steady his pulse. “This probably isn’t the best time to get into this conversation. We just got her back.”

  “There will never be a good time to talk about you and my sister.” He angled his head. Eyes thinning. “Are we clear?”

  For the first time in his life, he wanted to deck Luke. Hell, he wanted to do more than just hit him.

  “Fuck.” Luke placed a hand on Asher’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I, uh, think I’m projecting my anger toward Samir onto you.”

  “It’s fine.” He was itching to unleash on someone, too, since he hadn’t had a chance to physically hurt the bastards who’d taken Jessica.

  “No.” Luke shook his head. “I was out of line. To accuse you of going behind my back with my sister . . .” His hand dropped to his side. “I know you’d never do that. I’m sorry.”

  Asher’s stomach muscles tightened at Luke’s words. Knives of guilt plunged into his chest.

  He’d had his tongue shoved down Jessica’s throat after their first op together. He’d had his cock buried so deep inside of her, he hadn’t been sure if he’d ever break free, or ever want to.

  Sex with Luke’s sister. A secret he’d carried for six-plus years.

  “I should probably go hit something. Maybe the bag at the gym downstairs before I head home. You want to join me?”

  “Aren’t your parents flying in soon?”

  “Shit. You’re right.” He glanced at his watch. “I gotta pick them up at the airport in an hour. Rain check?”

  “Sure. Tell your folks hi. Let me know when Jessica is up for visitors.” He rolled his eyes skyward, trying to fight the awkwardness that spanned between them again. “The guys and I will want to stop by.”

  “Of course.”

  Asher waited for Luke to leave before he blew out a heavy breath.

  “Asher. Hold up, man.”

  He glanced back to find Owen heading his way from the other side of the hall. “What’s up?”

  “I wanted to check on you. See if you’re okay.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be? Jessica is back, and we were just given a vacation from POTUS.”

  Owen smirked. “You’re such a bad liar.”

  Asher sighed and propped a hand on the hall wall at his side. “What are you really trying to ask me?”

  Owen’s smile faded. “We all love Jessica.” He was quiet for a moment. “Like a sister.”

  “And?” Irritation crawled up his spine.

  “Except you.” His arms crossed his chest.

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “She’s not like a sister to you. And everyone, except maybe Luke, knows how you really feel about—”

  “Stop.” Asher shoved off the wall. “I don’t know what you’re planning to say, but I don’t need this from you.” His boots inched a hair closer to Owen, and he angled his head. A tightness stretched through his chest, making it harder to breathe. “She’s alive. And we’ll bring down the sons of bitches who did this to her whether Command wants us to or not.”

  Owen surrendered his palms. “Fine, but when you get your head out of your ass, I’m here if you want to talk.” He headed back to his office.

  Maybe Luke had the right idea, he realized.

  Maybe hitting something, or someone, was exactly what he needed right now.

  And damn, he knew where he shouldn’t go but sure as hell wanted to.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Asher peeled off his long-sleeved black shirt and tightened the string of his black sweatpants. Socks and shoes off. He rolled his shoulders, trying to loosen up.

  “Just so we’re clear, this doesn’t mean I’m okay with you and my sister.” Asher taped his hands, preparing to enter the octagon.

  A smile touched Angelo’s face. “Got it.”

  Thank God, his sister was working at her restaurant tonight. He needed to fight, but he wouldn’t have been able to get into the ring with Sarah’s eyes on him.

  A memory of Jessica with the vest strapped to her body blew back to his mind like fire burning his skin. Eating at him.

  Bruises. Waterboarding. A damn s-vest.

  Inside the cage, he snapped his hands into fists and cracked his neck.

  Egon. Samir.

  If he had lost Jessica . . .

  His opponent in the ring wasn’t big enough. Not tall enough. Asher could kill him.

  He stared at the guy and lowered his arms to his sides, inviting him to swing.

  The first punch was harder than he’d expected. A blow to his left cheek.

  The pain felt good. Like penance for ever allowing Jessica to get hurt. For allowing Egon and Samir to get away.

  He let another punch land beneath his chin. A swift uppercut.

  The crowd cheered, and Asher focused on the fighter as he walked the perimeter of the cage, arrogance flowing. His dark blond cornrows tight, a too-soon smile of victory on his face.

  A left hook touched Asher’s mouth next. The taste of blood on his tongue.

  Good. Asher flicked his wrist for the guy to re-approach. He wanted to feel more pain. He needed it. He hadn’t realized that until now.

  “What’s wrong?” Angelo asked after the first round ended, and Asher hadn’t even swung once. “You’re letting him get the drop on you.”

  Asher took a swig of the water Angelo handed him.

  “You come to get your ass whooped?” Angelo folded his arms, his eyes steady on him.

  “I need someone bigger to fight,” Asher said after a beat. “This guy won’t be able to handle me.”

  Angelo laughed. “He’s the one doing all the damage.”

  Asher grumbled. “If I take him out right now, will you bring in someone else?” He didn’t want to murder the kid accidentally.

  “Sure, if you think you can get your head back in the game.”

  Asher smiled. “My head is right where it needs to be,” he said before the second round began.

  Eight seconds in, Asher knocked the blond guy unconscious. He glanced to Angelo, standing outside the cage. “Now?” he mouthed.

  Angelo laughed and held his palms in the air. “Okay. Okay.” He disappeared into the crowd and returned a few minutes later. He waited for the blond guy to be removed from the cage and then joined Asher in the ring. “You want to tell me what’s going on while we wait for the next fight?”

  Asher spit out some blood. No mouth guard tonight. Probably a shit idea. He happened to like his teeth. “Nah, I don’t want to talk. Especially not with the man who is screwing my sister.”

  Angelo glanced off to his right as the room began to fill with even more people. Word had gotten out Asher was in the ring. Plenty of people would be jonesing to fight him.

  “I care about Sarah.” Angelo pressed his lips into a tight line for a moment, and gravity filled his dark eyes. “I love her.”

  Asher lightly shook his head, unable to process his words. “Please, don’t tell me that.”

  “You should know the truth.” He was quiet for a moment. “And Sarah’s worried about you. She said you disappeared from your mom’s place last Sunday, and she hasn’t been able to get ahold of you since.”

  Yeah, I was diffusing bombs in Berlin and saving someone I care about. But he couldn’t lead with that. “I’ll call her later.”

  “You owe her a lot more than a call.”

  Asher fisted Angelo’s gray V-neck. “Don’t ever fucking tell me what I need to do, especially when it comes to my sister.”

  Two jacked-up security guys entered the cage, but Angelo waved them off. “I get it.” He nodded, his eyes thinning. “But I’m not the same person you once knew.”

  “You said as much.” He let go of hi
m and edged back.

  “I don’t run the crew anymore. I just run these fights, and hell, I pay taxes on what I make.” He pressed his palms down his shirt, smoothing it out. “I’d never do anything to hurt her. You need to believe me.”

  Asher considered his words for a moment, but there was so much on his mind he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle anything else right now. Too damn much had happened in the last week.

  “I just want to fight,” he found himself saying.

  Angelo nodded. “Yeah. Okay.” He flicked his wrist toward security and motioned for the next fighter to enter the cage.

  The guy had a few inches on Asher’s height of six-four. He was beefier. Not so much muscle, though. But he was a tank, nevertheless. Exactly what Asher had wanted.

  Images torched his mind. Memories from Berlin fueled his rage.

  Every punch connected with Egon. With Samir.

  Each time Asher pounded the fighter, all he could visualize was what he’d do when he found the cocksucker who thought it would be okay to go after Jessica.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “What happened to your face?” Liam pointed his finger in Asher’s direction.

  Asher mumbled a few curses under his breath and moved past him to grab his laptop out of the office he shared with Owen. They were three doors down from Jessica’s room.

  Still no word from her. No response to any of the texts he’d sent since their return to the States.

  Radio fucking silence.

  And it made everything inside of him hurt. He wanted to be there for her. Needed to. But if he interjected himself into her life when she didn’t want his help, he’d be selfish, he guessed.

  Jessica was the strongest woman he’d ever met. She’d be okay. He sure as hell hoped so, at least.

  “I’ve never seen a bruise on you, mate. I thought you were made of steel or something.” Liam wasn’t planning on letting this go, apparently.

  “I got into a fight.” He slumped down into his chair and powered on the laptop. “Why are you here so early?”

  “Looking for the wanker who took our girl. Why are you at the office before the sun is up?” Liam eyed him.