Catch Me If I Fall

by Barry Jonsberg

  We should’ve taken her advice. Now we were alone and vulnerable, in dangerous territory, with a small fortune in the pockets of Aiden’s trousers. I should have gone home at the normal time, left Aiden to it. If he wanted to put himself at risk, then that was his choice. No reason for me to do the same.

  But he hadn’t thought that when he dived into the river to save my life. He was there for me. Now I had to be there for him. I didn’t really have a choice. But that didn’t mean I was enjoying it.

  ‘Let me do the talking, Ash,’ said Aiden.

  ‘Good luck with that,’ I replied. If my brother could dismiss me with that phrase, I saw no reason not to use it myself. ‘Hate to break it to you, bro, but the days of men being absolutely in charge are over.’

  He glanced at me.

  ‘Hate to break it to you, sis, but everyone’s agreed with that sentiment for generations. Trouble is, nothing’s changed.’ He turned a full circle, checking we weren’t being followed. ‘And things definitely need to change. So, yes. You’re right. Talk whenever you want.’

  ‘Wow. I’m so grateful you’ve given me permission.’

  He laughed. Funnily enough, I didn’t feel like laughing. I was too busy checking out my surroundings and jumping at every imagined threat.

  ‘Right again, Ash,’ he said. ‘Sorry. I’m being sexist. Forgive me and keep on pointing it out to me. Men either forget all the time, or don’t care. I’m the forgetting kind.’

  I wanted to continue the conversation. I wanted to point out that saying it’s a woman’s responsibility to remind men how to behave properly was sexist in itself. And this was the closest we’d come to a proper talk in … I couldn’t remember how long. But the strange entrance to Victoria Park loomed before us and there was a tension in the air that made my words dry up. I checked inside the arch just in case there was a girl waiting, but it was deserted. The whole park seemed deserted. Aiden and I walked in about twenty metres and looked up into the branches of the nearest trees. Nothing there either.

  ‘She won’t come,’ I said.

  ‘She will,’ said Aiden. ‘I mean, I’m not trying to silence your views, but …’

  ‘Oh, shut up,’ I said.

  ‘Bit harsh.’

  We waited for ten minutes and I was on the point of saying we should go back when Aiden nudged me. At the far end of the park, a group of kids came through a gap in the trees and headed straight towards us. They fanned out as they reached the open, eight or nine in a row, a small girl in the centre.

  ‘Don’t they know how stupid that looks?’ Aiden whispered to me, without turning his head. ‘Are we in some kind of retro Western? If I had stagecoaches I’d get them into a circle.’

  I didn’t say anything. My brother might be able to joke, but my mouth was dry and I felt that familiar urge to visit the toilet.

  ‘You do the talking,’ I said, and Aiden laughed.

  The group stopped about four metres from us. Xena took an extra stride forward, then paced a few steps from side to side, her brilliant green eyes never leaving Aiden’s face.

  ‘I thought I told you not to come back here,’ she said. ‘What’s your problem, rich kids? All that money made you deaf?’

  We didn’t say anything. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my brother clasp his hands in front of him and move his legs apart. The movement made a couple of the kids tense. We waited.

  ‘Well?’ said Xena. ‘Nothing to say?’

  ‘Sorry,’ said Aiden. ‘All my money has made me deaf. You’ll have to speak up.’

  It might have been my imagination but I thought I saw the flicker of a smile cross the girl’s lips.

  ‘What do you want?’ she said.

  ‘Just to talk,’ said Aiden. ‘And I’m prepared to pay you for your time.’

  ‘Ziggy said. So show me.’

  Aiden reached into his pocket and took out the ring and the watch. He held them out in the palm of his hand.

  ‘One-carat diamond in the ring, I think. The wristwatch is a Rolex. Solid gold.’

  ‘What’s a wristwatch?’

  ‘It’s how people used to tell the time, back in the day,’ I said. I don’t know where I found the courage to speak, but the words were out there now. Xena turned in my direction. I was pleased. Up to this point she’d ignored me, as if I wasn’t worth bothering with. ‘You wouldn’t believe how much this thing is worth,’ I added.

  ‘I probably wouldn’t,’ she said. ‘I tend not to believe too much that strangers tell me.’

  ‘My father paid one hundred thousand dollars for this watch,’ said Aiden. ‘That’s worth a few minutes of your time, isn’t it?’

  Xena crossed her arms.

  ‘I don’t believe too much that strangers tell me,’ she repeated. ‘You really do have hearing problems, don’t you?’

  ‘Hey, look. Up to you,’ said Aiden. ‘If you can afford to give up one hundred thousand dollars because you don’t want to talk, then okay. We’ll just go.’

  Xena laughed.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ she said. ‘There are nine of us and two of you. Ziggy told me you know how to fight, but your sister here … well, no offence, princess, but you don’t scare me too much. So what if I decide to just kick your butts, take what you’ve got and —’

  ‘Oh, shut up,’ I said. I nearly yelled it. What the hell was I doing? All heads turned in my direction. ‘This is stupid. My brother is trying to give you a small fortune and you don’t even want to talk? What is wrong with you people? What is wrong with you?’

  There was silence.

  ‘How could I trade that thing, that wristwatch?’ said Xena after a while.

  ‘My dad would buy it,’ said Aiden. ‘I’ll give you his details. Offer to sell it to him for eighty thousand and he’ll think it’s a bargain.’

  ‘You stole it from him?’ said Xena.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And you reckon he’d buy back his own stolen property?’

  ‘In a heartbeat. He probably wouldn’t even realise it was his.’

  ‘I hate to say this,’ said Xena, ‘but I like you, kid. You have … style. Okay. You have twenty minutes. Not just for that stuff …’ She nodded towards Aiden’s hand, ‘… but because I like you. So. Shoot.’

  ‘I want to talk to you in private.’ He glanced over at me. ‘Just the two of us.’

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘Wait a moment,’ I said. I grabbed Aiden’s arm and turned him towards me. ‘What’s this?’ I whispered. ‘All that feminist, hey you’re right, I’m being horrible garbage and then you’re cutting me out?’

  ‘Can we talk about this later?’

  ‘No.’

  Aiden put both his hands on my face, cupped my cheeks.

  ‘Please, Ash?’ he said. ‘Trust me on this. I have to do this one thing by myself. It’s not because I don’t trust you or I think you’re inferior to me or …’ He twisted his mouth. ‘Anything,’ he finished. ‘But I’m … protecting you. I’ve always protected you, right? Let me do that one more time.’

  I brought up my arms between his and swept his hands away from my face.

  ‘You saved my life, Aiden,’ I said. ‘So let’s be honest here. I owe you a favour.’

  ‘And this is how I want you to repay it.’

  ‘… But I hate this, you hear? I hate it.’

  I walked straight up to Xena. She looked at me with what I thought was a certain amount of amusement.

  ‘Here’s what I want to ask,’ I said. ‘Why did you let us go? That last time. You could’ve held us to ransom, but you didn’t, and I don’t think that’s because you’re a kindhearted person. No offence. So why?’

  She looked up at me with those amazing eyes and it’s probably my imagination but it was like she was seeing me properly for the very first time. And I could detect a battle going on in that face. Why should she tell me? It was none of my business, after all.

  ‘Well,’ she said finally. ‘Looky here. The princess has a mind of her ow
n. Okay. Why not? Here’s the story. I had a twin brother once, princess. Older than me by four minutes, I was told. He died when I was a year and a half. Coughed up blood until there wasn’t any left. Just a disease, they said. But I knew better. It was poverty that killed him.’ She laughed and those white teeth startled me once more. ‘I saw the two of you and … well, maybe I am a softie. But the pair of you reminded me of him. So I let you go. For him.’ She tapped me on the cheek. ‘I can’t promise I’ll make that decision again, princess.’

  And we locked eyes for what seemed like minutes, but was probably only a few seconds.

  ‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘And I’m sorry about your brother.’ But the moment was over before it had even really begun. Aiden and Xena stepped away and wandered further into the park, leaving me and the rest of the kids in an unfair showdown close to the park’s entrance. Eight of them glaring at me. One of me, pretending I wasn’t scared.

  It was a long twenty minutes.

  Finally, they broke apart and Aiden walked back towards me. Xena whistled and the rest of her gang walked towards her. The meeting was done and we headed off in opposite directions. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t know if Aiden was. His expression gave nothing away and he didn’t say much on the walk back to school.

  We leaned back into the soft upholstery of the car.

  ‘Well?’ I said.

  ‘I’ve changed,’ said Aiden. ‘Since the accident, I’ve changed and I know you’ve noticed and I know you’re worried.’

  I was talking about his conversation with Xena and my brother knew that. But this was just as interesting and maybe more important. I also suspected the two things were connected.

  ‘You’re almost a different person,’ I said. ‘And yes, I’m worried. Of course I’m worried.’

  ‘You know that old expression, “you need to have some sense knocked into you”?’

  I nodded, but I don’t think he noticed.

  ‘In some ways, that’s what the accident did. Before, Ash, it was like my sole purpose in life, my only purpose, you know, was to look after you, to protect you against all danger, every threat.’ He sighed. ‘Do you remember that lesson Mum gave us so many years ago? The duty of siblings is to catch each other if one should fall. This’ll sound crazy, but I think I let that be the sole reason for my existence. Looking after you, making sure nothing bad happened. I never really thought about me and what I wanted.’

  I thought about that and it was strange, but I felt like crying. I felt like crying because it was so obviously true. My brother never really had an opportunity to be himself and I’d just been a limiting factor on his development, stunting his growth.

  ‘I kinda liked you protecting me,’ I said. ‘I felt safe.’ My voice didn’t break and I was grateful.

  ‘I will still protect you, Ash,’ he replied. He reached over and took my hand. ‘That hasn’t changed and it never will. But I’m beginning to think there are other ways to protect people. Maybe even that protecting people isn’t the best form of protection. Do you know what I mean?’

  I laughed.

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘Because that doesn’t make sense.’

  But Aiden didn’t laugh.

  ‘We’re like one of those fairy stories Mum used to read to us at bedtime, Ashleigh. A princess and her prince brother in our beautiful tower. Wonderful, glorious. Heroes. But we know nothing about the world out there, the farmers, the blacksmiths, the soldiers, the beggars, the drunks, the dead and the dying in their ditches, the filth and the squalor. The real world. We need to know about those things, Ash. We can’t drift through life in privileged ignorance. We should help where we can. That’s what makes us human. Or it should be.’

  I thought about Charlotte and the brief glimpse I’d been given into her life and her way of thinking. Her comments about Aiden and me, the implication that because we were rich, we couldn’t understand the problems most people faced on a daily basis.

  ‘That’s what you talked to Xena about?’

  ‘She taught me more in those twenty minutes than Mr Meredith could teach in ten years at school.’

  ‘And what did you learn?’

  ‘A bit about the dead and the dying.’

  I was going to ask him to be more specific, but I knew he wouldn’t open up. Maybe when he was ready, he’d tell me what he and Xena talked about specifically, but this wasn’t the time or place.

  ‘Do you think you’re going through puberty, Aiden?’ I asked.

  He laughed and I was pleased; I’d asked the question partly to relieve the gloomy atmosphere left by his words. The dead and the dying?

  ‘Probably,’ he said. ‘It’s that time, isn’t it? Hormones raging through your body, the mood swings.’ He threw up his hands in mock despair. ‘Oh, my God, the hair and the pimples!’ He made his voice go all deep. ‘Not the hair and the pimples, sweet Lord.’

  I laughed with him. And for a while I could almost persuade myself that things were fine.

  ‘You’ve changed too, you know,’ he said as the car drew up to our front gates, which slid open.

  ‘No, I haven’t.’

  But he carried on over me.

  ‘You used to care about one thing only: Ashleigh Delatour. Favourite subject. Only subject. The centre of the universe with everything revolving around you.’

  The car doors slid open noiselessly, but we stayed where we were.

  ‘Hey, Aiden,’ I said. ‘Tell me like it is. Don’t spare my feelings.’

  ‘That’s what I was talking about before, Ash. I’m done with sparing your feelings, because although that seems like protecting you, it really isn’t. Not many people liked you because you weren’t interested in them. Do you remember that old gag? But enough talking about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think about me? It was made for you.’

  I knew Aiden was right, but I was close to tears anyway. Again. I sat in the car, head bowed. Deep down, I felt I deserved this.

  ‘The old Ash would have spat the dummy hearing this,’ said Aiden. ‘Tantrums. Tears. Throwing the toys out of the pram. But you’ve changed. You came with me to see Xena because you wanted to protect me. Dad told me about the gift they sent to that camp assistant’s son on our behalf. You’ve cared for me while I’ve been ill. You even let me have Z stay in my room, when I know you were desperate to have him in yours. Hate to break it to you, sis, but you’re becoming … kind.’

  ‘Now you are being horrible,’ I said and we both laughed. ‘Maybe that accident knocked some sense into both of us.’

  ‘Or maybe we’re both going through puberty.’

  ‘Not the hair and the pimples!’ I yelled.

  We got out of the car. The doors closed behind us and the car drove itself off to the garage. Aiden took my hand once more and nodded towards the front door of our house.

  ‘Ready for Disneyland, Ash? The Happiest Place on Earth?’

  ‘What the hell is Disneyland, Aiden?’

  ‘Never mind, Minnie Mouse,’ he said. ‘Ancient history.’

  Mum was back from India and was bustling around the kitchen, preparing a vegetable curry. She hugged us both and then went back to chopping onions and grinding spices in a mortar and pestle.

  ‘India is the place to go for vegetarian food, Ashleigh,’ said Mum. ‘Mind you, they’ve been specialising in it for thousands of years, but … my God, delicious. I brought back all these spices with me. Things you can’t get over here. Cumin, fenugreek, coriander seeds, black cardamom, garam masala. You’re going to love this.’

  ‘Good conference?’ asked Aiden.

  Mum threw the spices into a frying pan and added a touch of vegetable oil. Almost immediately, the most amazing smell filled the kitchen.

  ‘Very productive, thank you.’

  ‘Did you find the poverty confronting?’

  I glanced at Aiden. It seemed like a strange question. Well, not so much a strange question, but one that seemed … I don’t know. Inappropriate. Mum obviously thought so too, becau
se she stopped stirring for a moment and looked at her son.

  ‘I didn’t see any poverty, Aiden,’ she said finally. ‘I stayed in a very good hotel. But the whole reason I was there was because of poverty and starvation and how my company can help.’ She went back to stirring, head over the pan. ‘As you may or may not know,’ she continued, ‘India suffered more than most as a result of climate change and the resulting destruction of arable land. Many millions of people starved to death. My company is producing thousands of worker bots that will tend land and grow crops in places that people can’t. We’re feeding that nation, Aiden.’

  ‘Made good profits on those bots, did you?’

  This time, I couldn’t help myself. I gasped. Mum threw down the wooden spoon into the frying onions and spice mixture, put her hands on her hips. The expression on her face was thunderous and I took a step back. Aiden didn’t.

  ‘The Indian government bought about half. We donated the others.’ Mum was speaking slowly and clearly, as if trying to keep her words under control. I couldn’t remember seeing her this angry. ‘Why didn’t we give them all away, Aiden? Is that what you’re asking? Because we need money to continue our research into ways of helping people. Without funds going into AI, the world will slowly but surely die. That’s what my company is doing.’

  ‘Wow,’ said Aiden. ‘Saving the world. Impressive.’

  They stood there for the best part of a minute, mother and son facing each other in a stand-off I didn’t understand. In the end, it was Mum who blinked first. She picked up the spoon and continued stirring.

  ‘Have a shower, prepare for dinner,’ she said. ‘It’ll be ready in half an hour. I don’t want to see either of you until then.’

  Z was overjoyed to see Aiden. He whined, he whimpered, he jumped up my brother’s legs, he rolled on his back on the floor.

  ‘Boy, you’ve been doing a lot of training,’ I said. ‘Getting emotionally needy, Aiden, or what?’

  Aiden knelt down and rubbed Z’s belly. The dog squirmed in obvious ecstasy and almost twisted himself in two trying to lick Aiden’s hand.

  ‘He doesn’t worship me like that,’ I added.

  ‘Because you haven’t put in the training,’ Aiden replied.