The Kissing Tutor

by Sally Henson

  Dad’s face appeared. He’d been sporting a beard for a while. His eyes lit up at the same time his lips spread into a smile. “Hey.”

  Mom touched her lips. That meant she was getting teary-eyed.

  “Hi, Dad!” Brendan spoke up. He seemed as excited as me to see Dad.

  “Hey, there, Bren. You’re looking good. Taller.”

  I peeked over at my brother. His face beamed like a little boy.

  “Hi, Daddy,” I said, taking my turn.

  “Tommie girl.” His eyebrows raised. “I believe congratulations are in order for your no-hitter. I’m impressed.”

  My chest swelled with pride. I knew it would. Making my dad happy always made me want to do it more. “Thanks,” I said with the biggest grin that would fit on my face. I glanced down. “But we lost the next game.” It still hurt, losing. Knowing my softball career was over didn’t help. “I thought we were going to win this year.”

  “A no-hitter, kiddo, is fantastic. I’m sorry about not winning the playoffs, but sometimes we don’t get what we work so hard for.” Dad’s eyes darted around.

  I stepped away so Madi could take my place.

  “Madison? Goodness, you’re growing up.”

  “Yeah,” she said softly. Her voice a little off.

  Dad asked, “How are your grades?”

  “A’s. Just like you wanted,” she said.

  He nodded. “Good girl. Angela, babe, I’m sorry I don’t have time for a meal, so let me talk to each of you. Okay?”

  “Oh, sweetheart,” Mom said. Her voice cracked at the end.

  Dad gave her a tight smile. “I know. Something came up.”

  She nodded. “Who first?” she asked.

  “Tommie? You want to go first?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  Mom handed me the tablet and I headed for the stairs. I had something private I wanted to talk to him about. We started with the usual chit-chat. As I climbed the stairs, Juju joined me. After I told him all about my no-hitter, the conversation turned to college.

  “How am I supposed to know what I want to do for the rest of my life? The past six years have been all about softball. Now that’s over. I feel kind of lost already.” I grabbed a pillow off my bed and hugged it.

  “You’ll find it. Open yourself up to new things. Try something different when you get to college.”

  I wanted a real answer, not a “you’ll figure it out” one. “I guess,” I mumbled.

  “Are you wearing makeup?”

  I bit my lip and nodded. I didn’t know what he would think about it. Eighteen is old enough to wear makeup and even my fifteen-year-old sister wore it.

  “Are you trying to get a boy's attention?” he asked. “Or do you have it already?”

  I glanced down at my comforter. “I don’t know. Boys are…hard to figure out.”

  “Oh, honey,” he said with a chuckle. “They’re not that complicated. Trust me.”

  Dad always had great advice about everything. Even though I had never talked to him about boys before, I knew I could trust him. “Here’s the deal. I like this boy. He said he likes me. We’ve kissed a time or two, but when we’re at school or around his friends, he acts like we’re just friends. You know? He’s different when it’s just the two of us.”

  “Ah.” He scratched the back of his head. “What does your momma say?”

  “I haven’t talked to her about it yet. Please don’t tell her, okay?” I asked.

  He worked his jaw to the side and combed down the coarse hair of his beard. “I’ll keep it to myself for now. But she’s pretty smart.”

  I nodded. “I know, but I figured you’re a guy, so you might know what I should do.” I shrugged, even though it was a big deal to me. “I always read guys wrong. I think they like me, but they don’t. I even started dressing better so they wouldn’t think of me as a guy.”

  “I don’t want you changing who you are for a boy,” he said, using his authoritative dad tone. “For anyone. You hear me?”

  I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to swap out the athletic shorts. At least cut back to when you actually practice and workout.” He raised his brow to make his point.

  “Madi basically said the same thing.” I sighed. I knew I was frustrated with how things had been going and didn’t want to be grumpy with Dad. It wasn’t his fault or Madi’s. “She helped me find some clothes that fit me.”

  He smiled and the corners of his eyes crinkled. “Good. I’m glad you two are getting along.”

  “Me too. But what should I do? About this boy.”

  “Men are simple creatures. We aren’t intuitive like women. If we were, I’d better understand all the women in my life.” He let out a chuckle. “That’s for sure.”

  I giggled too, shaking my head.

  “Boys need a direct approach. We often need things spelled out for us. Especially a teenager who’s still green when it comes to girls.” He let out a soft chuckle. “I may not be an expert on women, but I’ve learned to pick up on things. It took me years to get that far. If you’re not sure about something, you just need to come right out and ask.”

  I thought I was direct with Roan. Last night in my message and then today at lunch, but maybe I wasn’t. “Thanks, Dad.”

  “But make sure he’s being a gentleman,” he said and gave me a hard-edged Marine look. “You understand? And you be a lady.”

  I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  “Let me talk with your brother.”

  “Okay,” I said, sliding off my bed, and headed downstairs. “You’re going to make it for graduation, right?”

  “I hope so,” he said.

  My shoulders sagged. That wasn’t a yes. “So that means no.” Dad not showing would be the rotten cherry on top of this senior year.

  “It means I’m trying, but I can’t promise.” His eyes teared up, and I felt worse for saying anything. “I love you, Tommie girl.”

  I sighed, wishing I could have one of his hugs. “I love you too.”

  24

  Cayla had the cruise control set on our way to Raleigh, North Carolina. Since I let Madi sit shotgun, she was in charge of the music.

  Madi checked the GPS on her phone. “Oh, good. Only thirty minutes until we’re there. I have to pee again.”

  “You went like thirty minutes ago,” Cayla complained.

  “It was over an hour ago,” Madi said. She picked up her coffee and took a sip. “This latte makes me have to pee. I can’t help it.”

  My phone buzzed. I had placed it face-down on my thigh after I’d checked a thousand times to see if Roan had responded to my good luck message earlier. We didn’t talk after his game last night. And after talking to Dad, I concluded the timing was bad. It wasn’t fair for me to dump on him the day of his game. They had a serious chance of being the next state champions. I probably should have waited until state was over to say anything.

  I picked it up and saw Roan’s name on the screen. My heart beat faster. At least he sent me something.

  I opened the message and read it.

  Roan: Thanks, Toms. You’re coming, right?

  My whole body sighed. He’s still talking to me.

  Tommie: Yep. Should be there in 30.

  Roan: That makes me happy. You’re my good luck charm. Gotta go before Coach catches me with my phone.

  A zing shot through my heart, knowing I was still his good luck charm. The same zing I felt when he told me I was his good luck charm while we sat in his hot tub. I hoped after this game I would be more than a student of his.

  How much longer could I ride this rollercoaster of emotions?

  The crowd had been on its feet off and on since the first inning. Roan hit a two-run home run in the sixth inning. He gave me our sign that he heard me on his way toward first base. After he ran the bases, he pointed at me. I pointed back. Cayla and Madi were jumping up and down next to me, screaming. It was so exciting. In my heart, I was holding on to his public expressi
on for me.

  James hit a homer in the seventh. Our eyes locked after he landed on home plate. I think. Not sure how he even saw me in this big crowd, but the smile on his face was beautiful. I loved seeing the team winning and having so much fun doing it.

  Gabe hit a two-run homer in the seventh. Summer went crazy, doing a two-fingered kiss over and over. Gabe did it back, and every softball team member that was in our row swooned. It made my heart sigh.

  Roan had been so quick and agile behind the plate. I was so proud of him. It was finally the bottom of the ninth inning. Every able-bodied person in the Lions stands was on their feet. Cayla, Madi, Summer, Harper, Addison, and me were stomping our feet, clapping our hands.

  We were up eight to six. Anything was possible, and the guys had to be on alert for anything. It was even the top of their lineup. The best guys were ready to bat. Coach Crawford had gone to the mound to talk with Shawn. The Blue Racers had just scored three runs in a row on him. Coach kept Shawn in.

  Their best hitter stepped into the batter’s box. He dug his feet into the dirt and readied his bat. He popped one right over the third baseman’s head and made it all the way to second base.

  Shawn took his hat off, wiped the sweat from his brow, and fit the cap back on his head. The sun had beat down all morning. It was so hot, moisture clung to my skin just sitting in the stands. The runner on first stepped off, taking one step and then another, slowly inching further from the bag.

  “Throw him out, Roan,” Madi yelled.

  “It’s risky,” I said. “If the throw is off and goes past the second baseman, the runner has a chance to make it to third. That would make it easier to score.”

  “Oh, yeah,” she said and then pressed her fingers to her mouth.

  I totally believed in Roan. He was in the zone. “Roan’s been hot today though,” I said. “If he feels it, he’ll do it.”

  Madi and Cayla nodded in agreement. They had their hands , watching the field.

  I cupped my hands on either side of my mouth and shouted, “Woo, Martin.”

  Shawn gripped the bill of his cap, adjusting it, checked the sign and gave a nod. He checked the runner. Wound up and delivered a ball just as the runner took off.

  Roan popped upright on his feet in a flash and threw the ball to second base. The runner dove for the base as Carter Patterson caught the ball and tagged his hands.

  The infield umpire watched the tag unfold. He made a fist and called, “Out!”

  Lions fans roared. Game over. The Lions were state champions.

  Roan did his hip action move he made after each win and ran toward the mound. Shawn mimicked him.

  The Lions dugout emptied on the field to the mound and bounced up and down, shouting, patting their hands and gloves on top of each other’s heads.

  My heart swelled with pride. Roan had worked so hard to make it that far. I laughed as happy tears filled my eyes, watching him. His future at Tennessee was solid. I wished his grandparents could have been here.

  Cayla, Madi, Summer, and the girls high-fived and had our own celebration on our way toward the dugout. We waited for the team to return. Neither the embarrassment from prom nor the hurt and frustration I had with Roan mattered at the moment. The spotlight was on the Lions baseball team—the new North Carolina state champions.

  Parents and girlfriends inched forward to hug their players. Cayla, me, and the girls stood back and waited our turn. Roan scanned the crowd. His dark hair was a sweaty mess, sticking up from the mask he had to wear. A sheen of moisture covered his deeply tanned skin along with streaks and smears of dirt where he’d wiped his hands. I secretly loved the way he looked after a game. It was rugged and masculine.

  His smile, frozen on his face from winning, faltered until he saw me. Butterflies flittered in my chest. He weaved in and out of the players and their families to the only family he had present…me.

  My smile had to have matched his. He scooped me up, burying his face in my neck.

  “You were so awesome. You’re a champion,” I said, holding him as tight as he held me. His chest shuddered against mine. Working so hard toward a goal and then achieving it brought on all kinds of emotions. I felt it after my no-hitter.

  He held me for a little while before he whispered, “Toms.”

  I kissed his ear, which was the closest thing to my lips. He slowly placed me back on my feet.

  Madi gave him a giant hug too. “Such a great game. Congrats!”

  “Thanks, squirt,” he said, his smile still as wide as it could be.

  Cayla did the side hug thing as she said, "Nice game, Roan. You guys deserve it.” She let go of him and latched on to Madi, pointing toward the fence, and saying, “We’re going this way.”

  I nodded and looked up at Roan’s unwavering winner smile. I could get so lost in those lips if he would let me.

  He pulled me into another hug. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he said, tickling the skin of my neck with his breath.

  I held him close and rubbed his back, storing the moment in my heart. “I wouldn’t miss it. I’m sorry your grandparents weren’t able to be here.”

  He pulled away, shaking his head. “It’s okay. They probably won’t make it to any games next year. I need to get used to it.” Disappointment flooded his tone. His eyes focused on something behind me and he took a step backward, rubbing his palms down his thighs.

  “Roan,” James called as he stode beside us. “Party at my house tonight.” He placed his hand on my arm, giving it a squeeze and then let go.

  I pulled my arms closer to my body, shrinking away.

  He spoke to Roan but kept his eyes on me. “Bring Tommie with you. You’ll come, won’t you?”

  I looked at Roan, silently asking what I should say. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, but said nothing. I wanted to be there for Roan if he wanted me to but going to James’ house wasn’t ideal. I was still getting used to being around the baseball team again, around James, without the stupid prom kiss video playing in my head or on the tongues of others.

  Even though we went to Logan’s party together, it wasn’t like he acted like we were anything more than what we’d always been growing up. One of the guys.

  He shook his head as if he were coming out of a daze. “Okay. Uh…” He turned to James. “What time?”

  James’ grin grew. He rubbed his hands together. “Seven. And Nelson wants your sister to come too.” He took a step back and said, “Save me a dance, Tommie.”

  My mouth dropped open. Shawn Nelson is the guy that’s been asking Cayla to go to the games? Wait, save James a dance? Did he want to dance with me or was he reminding me of what happened at prom? I embarrassed us both that night. Since then, I hadn’t even been able to sum up the courage to face him. We had two short encounters, and that was two too many.

  James spun around and met up with the coaches.

  Roan groaned.

  I focused back on Roan as he scrubbed a hand down his dust-powdered face, leaving finger swipe marks behind.

  Did Roan not want me to go? “I don’t have to go if you don’t want me to. I’m surprised he’d want me anywhere near him after what happened at prom.”

  Roan searched my face, his expression pained and full of confusion. He opened his mouth to say something right when Coach Crawford whistled and shouted for the boys to grab their gear and get on the bus.

  He inched closer. Nervous jitters bubbled in my stomach at his movement. I couldn’t figure out if he wanted to kiss me or tell me something. Madi and Cayla returned.

  “I’m thirsty,” Cayla said, interrupting whatever Roan was about to do or say. “Let’s get a milkshake before we get back on the road.”

  She and Madi chattered, but I stayed glued to Roan, waiting for him to say whatever was on his mind.

  “Martin,” Coach Rojas called. “Let’s go.”

  His shoulders dipped. A push of air rushed out of his nose. “I…I’ve got to go,” he said, pointing his thumb behind
him toward his bag still in the dugout.

  I nodded. “Okay. I’m not driving, so we can message. If you want.”

  “If it’s not too crazy on the bus.” His eyes moved toward the girls as he stepped backward. “Thanks for coming.” He gave us a small wave and then walked away.

  25

  Madi prattled nonstop the entire drive to the party from the back seat of Roan’s Toyota truck. He said she was invited too. For once, I didn’t mind that I wasn’t alone with him. I wasn’t sure Roan even wanted me to go.

  Madi picked out the cute wrap dress I wore and fixed my hair. I shouldn’t have been so negative about her going. It wasn’t like she and Roan were strangers. He’d been hanging around our house for years. We were all practically family.

  Ugh. That made me like a sister too. Not what I was going for.

  Madi finally quieted as Roan knocked on the door. I knew she was excited, but I had to shoot her a look over my shoulder to make it happen.

  The door opened, and I quickly turned back around to face the tall man who answered. His hair was the same reddish-brown as James’. He was old enough to be his dad but didn’t seem as old as mine.

  Mr. Lowe stood straight and tall in his stylish clothes. I didn’t know much about fashion, but they looked expensive. His lips parted, lifting and stretching wide when he focused on Roan. “Roan,” he greeted, jabbing his hand toward him. “Great game today.”

  Roan met his hand, gripping it for a firm handshake. “Thank you, sir.”

  Mr. Lowe’s eyes glided to me, then to my sister, and then back to me. He quirked an eyebrow. “Miss Jenkins?” he asked.

  Heat flamed my cheeks as I dropped my gaze to his white button-down shirt and gray shorts. He probably didn’t recognize me without my mouth open, swallowing his son’s lips.

  I gave a nod and answered softly, “Yes, sir.”

  “You look a lot like Tommie. Are you her sister?” he asked. I assumed he was talking to Madi because there was no way I could make eye contact again.