by Zoey Gong
Winnie looked confused at first, then her eyes widened in understanding. “Right!” she said. “Sorry. We didn’t talk about the sleeping arrangements. Thanks.”
“It’s no problem,” Kai said, and Winnie took the other end of the blanket and helped him double-fold it to give him some more cushioning. She then pulled a pillow down out of the closet and handed that to him as well.
“Thanks,” he said. “Well, it could be worse. She isn’t making me sleep in a hotel.”
“It is weird,” Winnie said as she sat on the bed and sighed, clearly weary. “She’s still hopeful that I’ll marry Chang, but she thinks I’m in her home sharing my bed with you. The way modern and old-fashioned attitudes collide around here makes my head spin.”
“Well, if we can hide out in here the rest of the night, we are down to four more days,” Kai said.
Winnie moved to one side of the bed, which he took as an invitation to sit down. There wasn’t a chair or anywhere else for him to sit except the floor.
“You did a good today,” Winnie said. “You kept up. Didn’t miss a beat.”
“You did a good job, too,” Kai said. “That part about always bringing flowers was smart. I’ll have to remember that the next time I really do have a girlfriend.”
“She’ll be a lucky girl,” Winnie said.
Kai’s breath hitched in his throat. Was she...jealous? Was she hinting at something? Did she want to really be his girlfriend?
Winnie let out a small gasp after a moment, as though her words just dawned on her. “I mean, whoever she is, she will be lucky to have a real boyfriend and not a pretend one.”
“Oh,” Kai said, trying to not sound disappointed. “Right. Of course. Though, it seems like your mom doesn’t doubt our relationship. She’s just not happy with it. So even if you had a real boyfriend, she wouldn’t be going any easier on you.”
Winnie sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “That’s true,” she said. “Maybe that’s why she is so mad. Our little trick is working and she’s scared. We just have to keep going. As you said, just four more days.”
Kai nodded. “Just four more days.”
The next day was shaping up to be even worse than the day before, though.
New Year’s Day.
Winnie’s family was up at dawn, with her mother and sister in the kitchen preparing breakfast and her father and brother-in-law preparing the car. The family was going to see Winnie’s grandparents--her father’s parents--in the countryside to go tomb sweeping. Then they were supposed to meet up with Chang’s family to go to the famed ice festival.
“Are you looking forward to tonight?” Winnie’s father asked Kai over breakfast.
“Yes, sir,” Kai said. “I’ve never been before. Seen pictures though.”
“Dress warm,” Lingling said as she fed her son, Xiaodi, some porridge. “Most southerners underestimate the cold up here.”
Kai snorted at being called a “southerner.” Shanghai could get pretty cold, but China was a big place. Shanghai was not usually referred to as being in the south. But then he noticed that no one else was laughing.
Kai had looked at a map on his phone before they left to remind himself exactly where Harbin was. It was actually closer to the wild frozen tundra of Russia than it was to Beijing.
“When you live this far north,” Winnie said, “everyone is a southerner.”
Kai kept his eye on Winnie’s mother, who busied herself in the kitchen, seeing unable to slow down enough to find a moment to sit and eat with the family. She blew in and out of the room, everyone holding their breath when she entered, waiting to see if she was going to speak or do...something. But then she would rush back out, something needing her attention, and everyone would exhale and resume their conversation.
“Is there anything I can do to help today?” Kai asked.
“No, no, of course not,” Winnie’s father said as he stood to collect the dishes. “You are a guest. Just enjoy your stay.”
A cupboard slammed shut in the kitchen, and everyone jumped.
“At least enjoy it as much as you can,” Winnie’s father whispered as he went to the kitchen.
“Jingsheng,” Lingling said as her husband entered the house, stomping snow off of his shoes. Kai felt confused for a moment. He didn’t remember seeing snow the day before. He stood and walked to the large window that led to a patio overlooking the city. He was shocked to see the city was blanketed in thick snow. He shuddered. The day before, they went from the airport to the restaurant to the apartment. The roads were clear, and he was intensely nervous over meeting Winnie’s family. The cold and snow hadn’t really registered.
But today they would be spending a lot of the day outdoors, which made him a little nervous. He suddenly doubted he had brought enough winter clothes.
“Get Xiaodi ready,” Lingling ordered her husband, who nodded and took the baby away to get cleaned and changed. “I need to help Mama.”
“Ba is helping,” Winnie said. “The kitchen will be too crowded.”
“A family can never be too crowded,” Lingling said, rubbing her protruding stomach for emphasis as she waddled off to the kitchen.
Kai thought he could see Winnie’s nostrils flare when she turned around, and he grimaced. “She isn’t making it easy for you, is she?”
“She never does,” Winnie said, stepping up next to him and keeping her voice low as they looked out over the city. “It isn’t enough for her that she is Mama’s favorite because she does whatever they want. She has to always point out how much I fail them by comparison. She doesn’t understand that I don’t care if she is married and has kids. If that makes her happy, I’m happy for her. I don’t see why she has to tear me down.”
“Maybe she’s not happy,” Kai said. “Maybe she didn’t want to get married or have kids either, but she did it because it was what your mother wanted. She might be jealous of you doing something else with your life.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Winnie said. “We never talk. I didn’t even know she was pregnant before a few weeks ago.”
Kai was shocked at that. It was one thing for them to have a strained relationship. But for things to be so bad her sister didn’t call to tell her she was pregnant? He had third cousins on the other side of the country he was closer to than Winnie was with her own sister.
He suddenly missed his mother. He hadn’t been away from her for more than a day since she told him about her diagnosis. He had to remember to pack the lantern in his bag today so he could set it off at the festival tonight.
Everything about Winnie’s family saddened him. The fact that her mother was trying to arrange Winnie’s marriage was, of course, the largest strain, but there were smaller issues that were upsetting as well. The fact that Winnie’s father didn’t stand up for her against his wife. The way Lingling undermined Winnie. The way Winnie withdrew from her family and literally hid from them in another country. All families had problems, but Winnie’s was a mess.
“Hey,” Kai finally said. “I meant what I told your dad. If there is anything I can do to help, I want to.”
Winnie looked up at him, and he tried hard to read her expression, but he realized that he didn’t know her very well either. Winnie had spent years building up a wall of lies to protect herself, but the wall kept anyone from getting too close. He saw her face soften, and he wanted to wrap his arm around her. Hold her close. Tell her everything would be all right. But then she blinked and turned away.
“You can’t do anything,” she said. “You’ll be out of my life in three days.”
As she left the room and went to finish getting ready, Kai felt as though she had punched him in the stomach. He wasn’t sure why. She was only stating a fact. They would both be leaving Harbin in three days and then they would go their separate ways. Still, her words stung, and what was worse was that he wasn’t sure if she meant them to or not.
Kai stomped his feet and tucked his hands under his arms to try and stay warm. It wasn�
��t working. They had trudged through snow up to their knees for what seemed like miles to get to Winnie’s family tombs. By the time they got there, Kai was frozen stiff. He could see ice crystals forming on his eyebrows. He was shivering so hard, his teeth were clattering together. How could people live in such a cold place!
He looked around enviously as Winnie’s family were talking and laughing as though the cold didn’t bother them at all. The children of the extended family were running around, throwing snowballs at each other and rolling down the snowy banks.
Even Winnie, who said she hadn’t been in Harbin for two years, but had been living in sunny Sydney, didn’t seem as bothered by the cold. She wore a big fluffy scarf around her neck and face and watched as the men from the family swept the snow from the tombs and then lit incense and set off firecrackers.
It was heartening to Kai that his mother was probably doing something similar in her hometown, if she had the strength. He realized that this was the first time in his life he was not with his whole family for New Year.
He and Winnie hadn’t spoken since back at the house. Her family didn’t speak to him either. He was a total outsider and couldn’t remember a time when he was more lonely. What he wouldn’t give right now to be back home, where it was warm, both in temperature and temperament. He couldn’t imagine that, were their roles reversed, his family being this cold to Winnie.
He slipped away from the group and texted his cousins.
What’s going on? he asked Fenghe.
Nothing much, Fenghe said.
Heading to the tombs soon, Hongji said.
Where are you? Kangmu asked. Auntie said you had a job? What job?
Yeah, Kai said, his fingers stiffening in the cold as he typed. Last minute thing. No big deal. I’ll be home in a few days.
Liar, Feng he said. You work at Rad Phoenix at a desk. They wouldn’t send you out on...whatever you’re doing.
Yeah, tell us the truth, Hongji said. What are you really doing?
Kai paused. Then he caught a glimpse of Winnie standing off to the side by herself away from the rest of her family as they laughed around the tombs. He didn’t want to be like her, an outcast in his own families cut off by a wall of lies.
Remember that article you showed me about renting myself out as a New Year boyfriend? he asked.
Yeah? Hongji typed. Kai waited until it dawned on them all.
Wait...Fenghe typed. You found a girl to hire you?
Yup, Kai typed.
Wow! Kangmu typed.
Awesome! Hongji typed.
Is she hot? Fenghe asked.
Kai shared a picture of him and Winnie at the Bund.
OMG! Fenghe replied. The other guys responded with emojis with hearts for eyes and ones that were drooling. She’s gorgeous. What did Hongji say? Marry that girl!
LOL, Kai replied. It’s nothing like that. Just business. She doesn’t even live in China. She’s a medical student overseas.
Maybe she has hot rich friends who need boyfriends, Kangmu said. Be sure to ask her.
I’ll see if it comes up, Kai said. But don’t tell Mom, okay? She won’t understand.
Sure, Fenghe said. She misses you though. Be sure to call her later.
I will, Kai said. From the ice festival. I want her to see the ice sculptures. I need to go. My fingers are going to fall off they are so cold.
Tell us all about your girlfriend when you get back, Kangmu said.
I will, Kai replied. See ya.
Kai slipped his phone back into his pocket and looked around, anxious to leave. Even though tomb sweeping was supposed to be a time of respectful reflection, he couldn’t wait to get back to the car. He was beginning to think this had all been a big mistake. Was the money really worth it? Maybe he should have just sold the information to Whirlwind and taken the money. At least he would be with his mother right now and not in this frozen wasteland.
And it was only going to get worse.
He still had to go to the ice festival tonight. He wasn’t sure how it could get any colder, but he knew it would. After the sun set, he was sure his very muscles were going to freeze so he wouldn’t be able to walk. If only there was some way he could get out of it.
“Kai!”
“Huh?” he asked, looking at Winnie. She was looking at him expectantly. “What? I didn’t hear you.”
“I asked what’s wrong,” she said. “You look angry.”
“I’m cold,” he said. Couldn’t she see that?
“Here,” she said, slipping something hot into his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at it. It was a small hand warmer.
“Where did you get this?” he asked.
“You don’t live in a place like this unprepared,” she said.
“Any more tricks up your sleeve?” he asked. “I don’t know how I’m going to survive tonight.”
“Tonight won’t be as bad,” she said. “There will be a million people there. The human heat will warm you.”
Kai chuckled and shook his head. “I think you northerners just have ice in your veins,” he said. “That’s how you survive.”
“Maybe,” Winnie said. “Living in a place like this, it makes you hard. You wouldn’t believe the things our ancestors did to survive.”
“People evolve, though,” he said. “And you left. You must be grateful you don’t have to live here anymore.”
“I don’t know,” Winnie said, taking a deep breath. “I find the air refreshing. Invigorating. I didn’t realize until I got here how much I missed it. If my mother wasn’t pressuring me so much to get married, I might come back more often.”
Kai watched a snowflake fell and landed on Winnie’s nose. It didn’t melt, but just sat there for a moment until it blew away. He shook his head. Winnie belonged here. She was part of this place. He knew that she believed she was meant to live somewhere else, and maybe she was, but she shouldn’t have stayed away for so long. It wasn’t good for her. He wished there was something he could do to help her find a way to be happy.
“Come on!” Winnie’s father yelled, waving them toward the car.
“Thank God,” Kai muttered to himself as he practically ran toward the protection of the vehicle.
By the time they made it back to Harbin to the location of the ice festival, it was already dark. The roads into Harbin were bad enough, but the streets of the city were worse. They were practically a parking lot the closer to the festival site they got.
But it was worth it.
The ice sculptures were more beautiful than Kai could have imagined. It was like a city of shining glass. There was a wall made of ice surrounding the festival grounds, all lit up in different colors, and inside, there were dozens if life-sized buildings all made of ice and all shining from colored lights inside them.
“What do you think?” Winnie asked, obviously pleased with Kai’s reaction.
“This is amazing!” Kai said, pulling out his phone and taking dozens of pictures and videos to share with his family and friends back home.
“It’s alright, I guess,” Chang said, walking up to them. “Not as good as years past.”
“Chang,” Kai said coolly, but Chang did not reply. He tried to hug Winnie but she pushed his arms away. Chang just tossed his hair back like he didn’t care.
“What do you want to do first?” Chang asked Winnie. “Find a snack? Go ice skating? Release lanterns to bring us happiness and luck in the new year?”
“I don’t want to do any of those things with you,” Winnie said. “I’m here with my boyfriend.”
“Yeah,” Kai said, stepping next to Winnie and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He knew it was just for show, but he liked having an excuse to finally hold her.
“Come on, Wenwen,” Chang said. “Why are you making this so hard? It’s just how things are, you know that.”
“I’ll not have my life decided for me,” Winnie said.
“Yeah,” Kai added helpfully. “So get lost.”
“Shut up, s
outherner,” Chang said. “This doesn’t concern you.”
“Why don’t you make me?” Kai said, stepping closer to Chang than he should have. Chang pushed him back.
“Oh, I have no problem doing just that,” Chang said.
“Oh yeah?” Kai asked, taking off his gloves, which he instantly regretted but did his best not to show how cold he was.
“Yeah!” Chang said, pulling his bulky coat off.
“Stop it, you idiots!” Winnie said, stepping between them. “God, you guys are like children. Neither of you should be getting married to anyone if this is how you act!” She then stomped away.
Kai chased after her, and he was glad to see that Chang didn’t.
“Winnie!” Kai called out as he caught up with her. “Wait!”
“Just...leave me alone,” she said.
“Can you show me where I can set off my lantern?” he asked her, hoping to change the topic and help her calm down. He pulled his lantern out of his backpack to show her.
“You brought your own lantern?” she asked.
“My mom bought it for me,” he said. “So we could both set off lanterns tonight. Our way of still being together.”
“That...that’s sweet,” she said. “Come on. It’s too crowded here. But I can show you a better place to release it.”
They walked away from the sculptures and to the other side of the ice rink to an open field where people played in the snow making snowmen and other snow creations. It was rather late and dark now, though, so there were few people around.
Kai pulled out his lantern and a marker.
“What should I write?” Kai asked.
“Happy New Year?” Winnie offered.
Kai chuckled and shook his head. He wrote Health, Happiness, and Hope in the Year of the Pig.
He then used WeChat to video call his mom.
“Kai!” she said. “How are you? I saw your videos. So beautiful!”
“Thanks, Ma,” he said. “I’m going to set my lantern off now! Are you ready?”
“Oh!” she said, getting up and going outside. “Let me get mine ready!”
