His Guilt: A Mafia Romance (Downing Family Book 6)

by Cassie Wild

  Jerrel sniffed. “It’s your fucking fault, you know. If you hadn’t been so busy going after pussy, Marcos wouldn’t have gotten so fed up. You fucked up and pissed him off. So you ain’t got nobody to blame but yourself.”

  “For what?” I shoved the muzzle deeper into the vulnerable skin of his chin. At the same time, I ground his wrist under my heel.

  He groaned, eyes wheeling around. “Fine…asshole. A couple of my guys went out to the family estate last night while everybody was wailing up at the hospital. There’s a bomb. Controlled by remote. Put a couple of cameras in too. They wanted to make sure they took out as many of them as they could.”

  Twenty-Six

  Briar

  Temper snapped and burned inside as I parked my car in front of the family estate.

  If I hadn’t gone back to check on Brooks one last time, I wouldn’t have any idea that the family was planning on having a meeting. Brooks was still in the hospital and would be for at least another day.

  He was doing better though, strong enough to talk to everybody and even eat a little bit of his lunch. It was a little after two when Daria chased us out, telling us he needed to rest and that we could come back later.

  I was the last one to leave, although my brothers and father had lingered outside the room, talking.

  Halfway to my car, I realized I’d left my keys in the room.

  Just outside the room, I’d hear Sean telling Brooks that he was going to take Isabel home to the penthouse before he headed out to meet them so they could put their heads together over the current problem.

  The problem.

  A meeting.

  They’d specifically kept it from me.

  I was done with this shit—in so, so many ways. I truly did believe Brooks when he told me that he’d pulled out of the family business. But that hadn’t kept him from being targeted.

  And Cormac…

  My heart ached just thinking about it.

  I studied the cars parked in front—Declan’s and Sean’s—wondering what they’d say, how they’d react if they realized they’d pulled me into this mess. I’d been targeted by Marcos because I was part of the Downing family. That was all there was to it.

  Daria had been dragged into it.

  Who else were they going to let be hurt because of this?

  My anger grew and grew until it felt like my blood was boiling. Climbing from the car, I stormed up to the front door. It was locked, so I let myself in using my key. The alarm system hadn’t been set so I strode on through the house, seeking out my father’s office. That was where they’d be.

  Again, a pang hit my heart as I thought about Cormac.

  He must have been looking for some sort of dirt he could turn over to Marcos when I’d brought him out here. Man. I’d been such a fool. The sick taste of bile churned up my throat, and I battled back a headache. I’d have time to hurt and brood over him later.

  For now, I needed to concentrate on my family.

  It was time to confront them.

  As I drew closer, the dull hum of their voices slowly grew more distinct. I’d worn clothes and shoes for comfort today, and the soft soles of my sneakers made little to no noise on the floor, so they didn’t hear me approach.

  It wasn’t until I stopped in the doorway that they realized I was there.

  Dad saw me first, his glass freezing halfway to his lips.

  Declan and Sean were talking, Sean furious. “Marcos is behind this shit. I know it.”

  Declan noticed me just as he went to respond. Eyes going wide, he immediately snapped his jaw shut.

  I strode inside and made my way over to the bar service, taking the scotch and splashing a generous amount into a highball glass, not bothering with ice.

  “It’s a little early in the day for booze, but I think I’m going to need a drink,” I said with false cheer. Taking my glass, I moved over to the window and stared outside. “Don’t let me stop you, Declan. Please…continue.”

  Movement caught my attention, a car, most of it hidden from view as it followed the curve of the drive toward the house. I frowned just as it disappeared from sight.

  Declan asked, “What are you doing here, Briar?”

  “Participating in the family meeting.” I shot a look over my shoulder at him. “Consider me Brooks’s stand-in since he got the shit knocked out of him.”

  I went back to staring outside as the three men broke out into a heated debate.

  The car came into view. My gut went tight as I recognized the car. Oh, shit.

  Cormac.

  Dread grabbed me by the throat.

  Turning on my heel, I glared at them. “I’ll be right back.”

  “You should go home,” Sean said as I passed by him.

  I flipped him off without even looking his way, my attention focused solely on Cormac. What in the hell was he doing here?

  Fury chewed jagged holes in me as I ran through the house. Jerking the door open, I jogged out and met him on the steps. “What are you doing here?”

  He caught me by the arms. “You’ve got to get out of the house. Marcos had somebody plant bombs.”

  I gaped at him. “What…?”

  “Are your brothers in there?”

  “I…what?”

  He shook me, frustrated.

  Abruptly, he hauled me into his arms and strode down the steps, putting me down only when he reached the bottom. Placing me on the ground with my back at one of the concrete planters, he pointed at me. “Stay.”

  I gaped at his back as he tore back up the steps.

  Declan stood in the doorway, staring at Cormac. “What’s going on—”

  “Marcos Castellanos had people plant bombs,” Cormac barked. “You’ve got to get your family out.”

  Declan, unlike me, wasn’t frozen with shock. He spun on his heel. Cormac tore into the house after him as I lurched up the steps. As if he sensed me, Cormac turned and glared. “Stay here! I’ll get them out but stay here!”

  Once more, I was frozen.

  There was no doubt in my mind that I believed him. The look in his eyes—blind, naked fear—wasn’t anything somebody could fake.

  And I’d also recognized something else. If I followed him into the house, he’d come back for me, which meant he wouldn’t have time to help Declan with my dad and Sean.

  I shoved the heel of my hand against my mouth, strangling the moan that rose up.

  Grabbing my phone, I dialed 9-1-1. Only after somebody’s voice came on did I wonder whether my father would want me to, but I didn’t hang up.

  “Ma’am?” the dispatcher said. “What’s your emergency?”

  “I…um…I think there might be a bomb in my house,” I said in a reed-thin voice.

  There was a short pause, then she said slowly, “Did you say a bomb?”

  “Yes.” Blood roared in my ears, and her questions came at me through a dim fog. I answered as best I could. How long had it been since they’d gone in?

  Thirty seconds? Longer? It couldn’t take that long to get—

  The world turned to fire.

  I think I screamed.

  My phone fell from my hand, and although I didn’t remember it, I knew it was the blast that knocked me back.

  Another boom tore through the air, and I curled into a ball as debris filled my entire universe.

  Instinctively, I curled my arms around my head. Darkness swam in to fill my vision.

  An orange glow filled my eyes when I opened them.

  I sat up slowly, dazed. Something wet trickled from my ear as I looked around. Air trapped inside my lungs as I caught sight of the house blazing in front of me.

  My house…

  “No,” I whimpered, struggling to my feet.

  The cold ground bit into my skin, and I realized I’d lost one of my shoes. Something sharp stabbed my sole as I took a step forward. Seconds later, I was running.

  The heat coming from the inferno had me stumbling as I drew closer. Sucking in a breath, I tr
ied to go a little closer.

  Arms came around me, dragging me back. Instinctively, I fought. “No! My family…Cormac!”

  I couldn’t even hear my voice although I knew I was screaming.

  Whoever held me wrenched me around.

  My knees went weak at the sight of the dirt-and-soot streaked face staring down at me. It was Cormac.

  Just behind him stood Sean, his chest heaving, face stunned.

  I collapsed against Cormac, the strength in my legs giving out. “Dad,” I said. My throat hurt. So did my chest. “Declan.”

  I had no idea if he heard me.

  He must have clued in on what I needed because he turned and pointed. Along the far edge of the lawn, I saw Declan. He was kneeling on the grass next to my father.

  The older man stared at me with wide, stark eyes. Our gazes locked, and a shudder rocked him.

  I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes.

  He was safe. All of them.

  Twenty-Seven

  Cormac

  My ears still rang as I trudged up the steps and pushed the doorbell. Body aching and eyes gritty, I stared through the glass, hungrily waiting for a look at Briar.

  For all I knew, this might be the last time I saw her.

  There was a cop car sitting at the curb behind me, and I flicked a glance over my shoulder just in time to see him open the door. He’d given me a hard once-over, checking my license and looking over something written on a notepad he’d pulled from his pocket.

  I hadn’t thought about her having a cop on guard at her house, although it made sense, nor had I considered the cop might keep me from seeing her.

  Some small hope formed inside me as I realized my name must be on that list the cop had looked at, but it was just the barest sliver.

  There was no sound from the house, no sign of movement. Her car was in the driveway, and I knew she had to be there. Otherwise, the cop wouldn’t be there. I rang the doorbell again as the nerves sank deeper hooks inside me.

  The door opened just a few seconds after I rang the doorbell a third time. Even though I’d seen her sitting just inside an ambulance and watched as the paramedics gave her the all-clear, I studied her, taking in the edges of her hair where strands had been burned away by the flaming debris, the few small scratches on her face.

  I’d spent the past few hours going over what had happened, including my rush to find her lying on the ground, terror punching through me.

  She was alive.

  I knew she was alive.

  But looking at her now, I felt that terror all over.

  Clearing my throat, I met her gaze. It was flat and cool, her expression unreadable.

  “Can I come in?”

  She didn’t respond for a long, long time. Finally, she reached out and unlocked the screen door. Without saying anything, she turned on her heel and strode away, leaving me there to watch her back.

  I caught up with her in the kitchen just as she picked up a bottle. She spoke again without looking at me. “These meds might make me sleepy. I’m sore and exhausted, and I need them.”

  “Okay.” I stared at her back, wanting to reach out and stroke the rigid muscles, pull her up against me and rock her until we both melted into each other.

  She turned to meet my gaze. The icy look on her face made it clear she wouldn’t welcome my touch. “I take it you’ve been talking to the cops.”

  “Yeah.” I shoved my hands into my pockets. “I…hell. I told them what I knew.”

  “Including the fact that you’d been hired to spy on me?” she demanded, jutting her chin up.

  “Yes.” I was done hiding and lying. “Yes. Including that.”

  There was a time for truth, and that time was now.

  Even if it cost me everything. Cost me her.

  Twenty-Eight

  Briar

  I wanted to sleep the next few days away.

  Raisa had told me to take the rest of the week off after I’d called her and told her about the bombs planted at the house. If I needed more time, she’d told me, I just needed to let her know. I didn’t want to take any time away, but I knew, logically, I had to take it.

  My body hurt, and my head ached, and my heart was a bleeding open wound.

  The west wing of the house was pretty much gone. The wing’s outer walls were still mostly intact, but that was it. So many memories, all gone. The bomb squad had found another bomb on the east wing, but it hadn’t gone off, and they’d been able to defuse and dismantle it.

  I’d talked to my brothers and my dad at the hospital. I hadn’t wanted to, but the time for avoidance was over.

  “This isn’t an ultimatum, although I know you’ll see it that way. But I can’t live like this. If you want to stay involved in…whatever, then so be it. But if that’s the case, I won’t be part of your lives anymore.”

  They’d all got rigidly pale.

  “It’s not that easy to just stop.” Sean had looked at me with wounded, betrayed eyes.

  “Think your wife would be okay with that excuse if she’d been at the police station, listening to the cops as they explained how you’d died earlier today?”

  He’d flinched.

  Dad had reached out and patted his knee. “It’s time, Sean. It will be complicated, but we’ll make it work.”

  Only Declan hadn’t reacted.

  I didn’t want to think about what his silence might mean.

  I didn’t really want to think about anything. I just wanted to sleep.

  The sound of the doorbell had me freezing. Instinctively, I knew who it was. I hadn’t seen Cormac since Declan had quietly urged me into my car earlier.

  Somehow, the sleek red beast had survived the blast, although it would need a new paint job. Declan’s car was probably toast—something heavy had slammed down on the front end with enough force that the hood had caved in.

  The doorbell rang again. Closing my eyes, I shoved my hands through my hair and finally made a decision. I walked through the house, every muscle aching.

  Peeking through the window, I found Cormac standing out there just as I’d expected. I’d been told to give the cops a list of people to pre-clear, and without thinking, I’d included him. Maybe I shouldn’t have. If I hadn’t, the cop sitting out front would have stopped him as he called up to the house to clear Cormac in. I could have sent Cormac away without even talking to him.

  Coward, I chided myself.

  Heaving out a sigh, I opened the door and studied him through the screen door.

  His eyes searched my face, flicked to my hair, then slid down to study my body. There wasn’t anything sexual in the look. He looked like he was taking stock, looking for injuries he might have missed…injuries he feared I might have hidden.

  Finally, his gaze returned to mine. “Can I come in?”

  It would be easier if I just told him no and closed the door.

  I didn’t though.

  I unlocked the screen door and turned away, going into the kitchen. The various aches in my body and my very exhaustion led me to the medicine Raisa had prescribed a few hours ago. I’d opted to drive to my own ED instead of going to the nearest one that my father and brothers would have chosen. They’d ended up following me.

  Grabbing the bottle of ibuprofen, I popped it open and shook a couple of tablets out, then got one of the muscle relaxers that Raisa had suggested I take for the next few days. “These meds might make me sleepy. I’m sore and exhausted, and I need them.”

  “Okay.” He sounded oddly subdued.

  Not looking at him, I washed the pills down, then filled the glass with more water and half-emptied it. My throat still felt half-raw. I figured it was from the smoke and soot I’d inhaled.

  Turning to look at him, I met his eyes.

  “I take it you’ve been talking to the cops.”

  “Yeah.” He jammed his hands into his pockets. “I…hell. I told them what I knew.”

  “Including the fact that you’d been hired to spy on me?” I ch
allenged.

  He met my gaze levelly. “Yes. Including that.”

  The admission surprised me so much that I almost dropped the glass I held. Looking away from him, I blew out a tired breath, then lifted my eyes to the ceiling. “My dad will find out. So will Declan, Sean…and Brooks. They’ll be furious.”

  “They should be,” he bit off.

  Slanting a look at him, I watched as he started to pace. “I had no idea Marcos would do something this crazy. None. I thought he just wanted to take a few jabs at your father. I didn’t think he planned on killing anybody.”

  “And if you’d known?”

  He stopped mid-stride, slowly lowering his booted foot. He turned to face me, and we stared at each other. “I don’t kill for anybody,” he said softly.

  “That’s not what I asked.”

  “I know.” He blew out a harsh, ragged breath. “I…hell. I don’t know what to say, Briar. Maybe if it had been anybody else, I would have stayed quiet. But you changed things for me. I didn’t want you or your family to get hurt.”

  “Did you know about Brooks? About my friend, Frankie?”

  “No.” Dull red colored his cheeks as he averted his glance. “If I had, I would have done something to stop it.”

  “Out of the goodness of your heart?” I asked caustically.

  “No. Because I knew it would hurt you and knowing that you’ve been hurt…” He reached up and rubbed the heel of his hand over his chest. “It’s…that’s the last thing I ever wanted, Briar. I know you probably don’t believe me. But I never wanted you to get hurt.”

  Naked emotion shown in his eyes as he stared at me.

  Tears blurred my vision. “Why should I believe anything you say to me, Cormac? How can I?”

  “You can’t,” he replied, the words ragged. “I just…fuck. I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. And…”

  He lapsed into silence, and after a few seconds, I darted a look at him. He rubbed his hands over his face. As if sensing my attention, he dropped his hands and met my eyes once more.