A Song Everlasting
Page 35
Her words shamed him. He said in earnest, “I was just joking. You’re the only one who can share my pain, who suffers and hurts for me. You can trust me that I’ll be with you forever.”
“I’ve known that since day one.”
He wasn’t sure what she meant by “day one.” Did she mean the night they’d gone to bed together for the first time? Or the day they had applied for the marriage license? Or even the day they’d first met? He didn’t ask her, moved by her absolute trust in him.
The bar where Walter’s band was playing was decked with colorful Christmas lights, as if a holiday celebration was under way. The atmosphere was convivial and exuberant. Walter and his friends were already performing in full swing when Tian arrived. He ordered a ginger ale and took a seat near the back of the bar, but Walter caught sight of him and waved. After finishing the music, he stood and announced: “Ladies and gentlemen, we are honored to have a distinguished guest among us tonight. Mr. Yao is a great singer and also my teacher. He has taught me not only how to sing professionally but also how to work and act like a good man. Tonight he’s going to sing for us one of his own songs. Please welcome Mr. Yao Tian.”
Amidst the scattered applause he went over and turned to the audience. More people were gathering around now. He said, “I’m going to sing a new song of mine, ‘My Heart Will Not Be Tamed.’ The music was written by my friend Tan Mai, who is a marvelous composer and a virtuoso pi-pa player. I wrote the lyrics in Chinese originally, but then translated it into English for this occasion. The band and I rehearsed it today, and I hope we can do it right for you.”
The band began and he swallowed, then sang:
Some say I’m too stubborn.
Stubborn in my dreams and my goals
But that won’t change no matter what I face.
I’m a man of bygone days,
Already out of season,
Out of place in this climate.
Still I dream of blooming in winter—
Even snow cannot freeze my heart.
My heart will not be tamed.
It will soar with my songs to the sky,
Like a bird without bounds
Treading only air and sun.
As he sang, he was touched to the verge of tears, more by his words than by his voice, which at times shook.
Walter and his bandmates cheered the instant he finished. Tian kept saying “Thank you” while stepping off the bandstand. He headed for the back of the room so that he could gather himself. But people wouldn’t leave him alone. A potbellied gentleman holding a glass of red wine came up to him and said, “That was a wonderful song, Mr. Yao! One of the best I’ve heard in a long time. Can I buy you a drink?”
Walter stepped in, a smile lengthening his face a little, and he told the man, “My teacher has a lung problem and can’t drink alcohol.”
“I could have a nonalcoholic beer,” Tian said.
The man ordered one for him. With its mouth foaming, the beer bottle touched the wineglass.
“Cheers!” Tian cried, and took a swallow.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
My heartfelt thanks to LuAnn Walther, Catherine Tung, Lane Zachary, and Ellie Pritchett for their generous support and steady effort in making this a better book.
A Note About the Author
Ha Jin left his native China in 1985 to attend Brandeis University. He is the author of eight novels, four story collections, four volumes of poetry, a biography of Li Bai entitled The Banished Immortal, and a book of essays. He has received the National Book Award, two PEN/Faulkner Awards, the PEN/Hemingway Foundation Award, the Asian American Literary Award, and the Flannery O’Connor Award for Short Fiction. In 2014 he was elected to the American Academy of Arts and Letters. He lives in the Boston area and is a professor in the creative writing program at Boston University.
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