An Amish Homecoming

by Rosalind Lauer

  “Family is always welcome.” Alvin paused at Miriam’s side. “It’s good you’re here, just in time for supper.” His attempt at lightening things up was lost on Sully.

  “I didn’t know where else to turn.” From this close, Miriam could see how worn-out Sully looked. “I’ve been up all night and all day, trying to think of a solution, a way to keep them safe.” He shook his head. “And you’re my only hope.”

  Miriam pursed her lips, her heart aching for Sully and his family. “Tell us, what’s the problem?”

  “The girls are a mess,” Sully said, his low voice raspy with misery. “I can’t think of any other way to save them. I need you to take my girls.”

  Chapter Two

  Essie Lapp had noticed the visitors and their vehicle as soon as she and Harlan had rounded the corner of the house. As she’d drawn closer, she’d recognized her uncle and cousins, the English relatives who lived in the big city of Philadelphia. The dark, sad look in the girls’ eyes made it clear that they hadn’t driven out to be a part of Essie’s birthday celebration.

  “Looks like some English visitors,” Harlan said.

  “My uncle and cousins. You’ve met the girls. They used to visit with their mem.”

  “The girls who lost their mem,” he said, sympathy glimmering in his amber eyes.

  “That’s them.” As Harlan and Essie walked, her fingers traced the small, mounded petals of the flower Harlan had carved for her on a block of wood. A bookend, made by his very own hands. The weighted block could be used to keep her books in order, lined up on the dresser in the bedroom.

  The carved flower was the most special gift she had ever received. It warmed her heart that Harlan had given her a practical gift that would complement the books that had entertained her over the years. But mostly, it was the hours he had spent carving and chiseling wood that made her smile. Whenever she saw the bookend, she would think of Harlan carving by the light of the kerosene lamp to make sure the flower was symmetrical, the wood smooth to the touch.

  Her fingertips curved over the smooth ridges of the flower now, but it could not stop the storm looming ahead. Something was very wrong. Essie’s pulse quickened in that nervous way of an animal on alert as she and Harlan hurried toward Mem and Dat.

  “Now, Sully, I’m sure you don’t mean this,” Mem said in a soothing voice.

  “I do,” her uncle insisted. “It’s the only way.”

  “I’m out.” Over on the gravel stone drive, cousin Megan pushed away from the car and started heading down the path that cut past the barn.

  “Megan!” her twin sister hollered. “Where are you going? Come back here!”

  Without turning back, Megan kept stalking off in the other direction.

  “Where is she going?” Uncle Sully raked a hand back through his graying hair. “She shouldn’t be alone. She could be a danger to herself.”

  A danger to herself? Wondering what that meant, Essie turned to Harlan, but there was only confusion in his warm amber eyes.

  “Megan!” Sully shouted after her. “Come back!”

  But Megan kept walking, prompting her sisters to call after her. Sarah Rose and Lizzie, the littlest Lapp children, chimed in, but Megan pretended not to hear anyone.

  “Follow her,” Miriam told Essie.

  Essie nodded, handing her carved bookend to Harlan for safekeeping. “What do I say?”

  “Comfort her. I don’t know what’s going on, but Sully and all his girls seem out of sorts.”

  Essie obeyed her mother, motioning to Harlan to stay put before she started off after her cousin. Such an unexpected twist in the celebration, like a sudden shift in the weather, but Essie couldn’t let it dampen her good mood.

  The joy of Harlan’s special gift.

  The wonder of his kiss.

  “Your birthday is like a holiday,” he had teased, taking her hand in his as they sat on the rock ledge, overlooking the gurgling water. “Zed let me off work early so I could be here for your birthday dinner.”

  “Don’t go getting in trouble with Zed on account of me,” she said, knowing how much Harlan needed the job at the furniture factory.

  “You are the last girl who could be trouble,” he said, pressing his fingertips to the side of her face. The line he drew along her jawline sent little sparks of sensation down her neck. “That’s one of the things I love about you. Serious, practical Essie. You’ve got your feet on the ground, firmly planted.”

  “Just like you.”

  “Like me. The two of us are two strong trees, standing on solid ground, reaching for the sky.” He nodded toward the far riverbank, where two oaks stood side by side. “Like those trees there.”

  With their straight trunks and upturned branches capped by fat green leaves, the trees seemed to be shouting: “Hooray!” The light breeze flickered through the round, green treetops, like a thousand glimmering fish in the pond.

  “Those are good trees,” she told him. “Now, whenever I see them, I’ll think of us.” She tilted her head and squinted. “But tell, which one is me?”

  He chuckled. “The prettiest one.”

  “Now I know you’re just courting me.” Essie had never considered herself to be a beauty. With glossy brown hair the color of caramel and eyes just a bit darker, she knew that she fit into Gott’s world just fine, but she didn’t spend too much time looking in the mirror or fussing over her hair. During her rumspringa, when other girls snuck out of the house in English clothes and lipstick, Essie had stuck with her clean-scrubbed face, simple dresses, and kapp. There was too much to do in the course of a day to waste time painting faces and shopping for tight, impractical clothes.

  “I am courting you. So I guess it’s working.” Harlan shifted toward her until their knees were touching and his face was just inches away. “It’s not every girl who sees the beauty in two trees, in the song of the river on the rocks, in a simple carved flower. I love you, Essie, and now that you’re eighteen, I hope you’ll have me as a husband just as soon as I can get enough money squared away.”

  “You know I will.” Her heart seemed to grow in her chest as he leaned closer and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss that swept over the sensitive nub at the center of her lips was both gentle and bold.

  A whisper of love on the wind.

  A searing brand, marking her as his one and only love.

  She touched one fingertip to her lips now, wishing she could bring back the wondrous moment of their kiss, as well as the hopeful conversation about the future—their future. Although Harlan sometimes made decisions with the slowness of a man whose boots were stuck in the mud, he had mentioned once again that he hoped they could get engaged soon. Just as soon as he had saved enough money for them to build a place of their own. Harlan was so responsible that way. He didn’t want a repeat of what had happened to him, with his father leaving the family, and them losing their house. Although Mem said there was nothing shameful about living in an apartment, Harlan felt bad about it. Not that he would talk much about those very difficult years he’d gone through with his mem and sister, but Essie could tell.

  When you loved someone, you got a little peek inside his heart.

  After their sweet time together by the river, Essie hadn’t expected to be pulled away from Harlan at the sight of the English visitors. But here she was, trying to catch the girl, who seemed nimble as a deer.

  “Megan!” she called. “Wait for me.” She hoped that her cousin would stop or slow down a bit so that she could catch up without running in her special church dress. But Megan kept streaking ahead at a swift pace.

  With a huffing sigh, Essie broke into a run. Once she caught up, she wasn’t quite sure what she’d say to her cousin, besides asking what was wrong. Since Mem’s sister Sarah had jumped the fence, leaving Joyful River when she was eighteen and giving up the plain life, Mem and Aunt Sarah had drifted apart. But Mem always said that sisters are sisters for life, and Essie couldn’t imagine losing one of her own sisters to the English
world.

  Aunt Sarah had brought her girls around each summer, and all the cousins had made memories picking berries, yanking weeds in Mem’s garden, and swimming in the river. Over the years Essie and her siblings had enjoyed having her cousins around. Since Aunt Sarah had chosen not to be baptized, her exit from the community hadn’t been punished by a ban. There was no shunning, no sitting at separate tables or refusing to look her in the eye, as had happened with another couple in their community.

  The evening heat was getting to Essie, and she could feel the perspiration on her forehead as she caught up to her cousin. “You’re moving fast for a hot day,” she said.

  “I couldn’t stand to hang around there and listen to him tell the story again. I’m so sick of hearing how we all let him down. How disappointed he is that his daughters turned out to be an addict, a party girl, and a goth.”

  Essie couldn’t quite digest these words, but she figured it was good to have her cousin talking. “He was worried about you going off on your own. Everyone was. Didn’t you hear them calling? Your dat said you could be in danger.”

  “He has no idea.” Megan stared ahead, walking on.

  “We should go back. Dinner is ready. Grilled chicken. Are you hungry?”

  Megan shook her head. “Is this the way to the river?”

  Essie glanced over her shoulder. “We usually cut down the path behind the house, but this will take you there eventually.”

  “I’m going to jump in and float away and never come back.”

  In all her life, Essie had never wished to float away from her family. Yah, she’d been annoyed with her brothers and sisters plenty of times, but in her heart, she always knew she belonged here. “I’m sure your family would miss you.”

  “Not Dad. Didn’t you hear him? He doesn’t trust us to be alone, so he brought us here to dump us on your parents. As if we’re five-year-olds.”

  “And why doesn’t he trust you?”

  Megan pressed her hands to her cheeks and groaned. “So many reasons. It’s super complicated and super simple at the same time.”

  “I’m all ears.”

  “So, he’s mad at Serena because she sneaks out with boys and parties all night with her friends. Actually, there’s not much sneaking around, since Dad is almost never home at night. He’s a cop, and he works four to midnight. A lot of damage can be done during those hours,” Megan said. “Dad thinks she’s got a drinking problem, and Serena says no, but there’s always booze around when Serena’s with her friends.”

  Essie kept silent. This was something she didn’t do, though she knew plenty of teenagers who went off to drink beer and whiskey. It was forbidden in their church, but teenagers on rumspringa often bent the rules, and most parents looked the other way.

  “Dad’s been relying on Serena and me to be at home for Grace, but really? We’re only eighteen, and we have lives. Grace is still a kid. She needs to have someone around, especially with Dad working five nights a week. But Serena is always out with her friends, and I have my own things going on.”

  “Like what?” Essie wondered what Megan’s days were like, living in a big city. “What do you do each day? Do you go to school?”

  “I’m about to start senior year of high school, and I’m definitely going to college. Besides that I used to have soccer. I was going to go pro. I was training with the US Olympic Team. But I blew my knee out, and now it’s gone.” Her pace slowed. “Everything I loved is gone. And now I . . .” She turned to Essie, tears in her eyes. “I never signed up for any of this. I don’t want to be an addict and a broken soccer player. I can’t—” Her words were cut off by a sob. A moment later, she covered her face in her hands and cried.

  So sad and alone.

  Essie’s annoyance vanished as she put an arm around her cousin’s shoulder and tenderly smoothed back her short wisps of hair. “So much pain inside you,” Essie said. “I can feel it, and I hurt for you.”

  Megan sobbed again. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

  Essie considered this as her cousin cried quietly. “Isn’t it a relief that you don’t need to make a choice right now? You’re to live here. You’ll be with your sisters and your Amish family. This will give you time to make this choice, to choose a path.”

  Megan sniffed and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. “I just feel the pressure to do everything right now. It’s too much. Sometimes it’s hard to breathe.”

  Essie stroked her hair, waiting as Megan calmed a bit. “You know, I have a special place I go to. It’s very easy to breathe there. Come.”

  She got her cousin walking again, and soon they were under the cover of dark leaves, the thick trees that lined the riverside. In a few minutes they had reached the rise that overlooked the river. Essie pointed out the water below.

  “I’ve always loved the way it courses over the rocks and pebbles. It moves so fast that it churns into a white froth around the big rocks. There’s power and peace in the river.” As she spoke, the breeze off the water seemed to gurgle up over Essie’s skin, cool and effervescent. “Do you feel that?”

  “I do.” Megan closed her eyes, spread her arms wide, and lifted her face to the sky. “It’s good to breathe again.”

  Essie nodded. “It’s important to breathe.”

  “Well, yeah.” Megan laughed, putting her arms around Essie. “Thank you. Thanks for sharing your secret place.”

  Essie squeezed her, trying to fill the hug with love. “It’s yours, anytime.”

  Chapter Three

  “Dinner’s just off the grill and ready to go,” Miriam said, turning back to the table. “Best take a seat and get started.”

  Serena and Grace looked at their father. “Go ahead,” Sully said. “I need a minute to talk with your aunt and uncle.”

  “Sit by me,” Annie told Grace, and the two squeezed in together on a bench.

  “Sometimes we eat in shifts,” Esther explained, pushing a platter of chicken toward Serena. “But don’t worry. We have plenty.”

  Miriam poured her brother-in-law a glass of lemonade and followed the men around to the side porch, where a rocker and a swing faced out to the garden and trees that provided a natural border to their property.

  “Now, Sully, we’re sorry to see you and the girls in such a state,” Alvin said, his bad leg propped on a stool. “But it wouldn’t be right to leave the girls here. Much as they’ve visited, it’s not their home, and, after growing up English in the city, they wouldn’t be happy here.”

  Sully accepted the glass of lemonade, but simply stared down at it. “Right now happiness is too high a goal. Safety is what matters most, and they’d be safe here.”

  “Yah, they’d be safe,” Miriam said, “but safe from what? You’d better tell us what’s been going on.”

  “They’re beyond my control, and I’m afraid the twins might end up dead or in jail or both.”

  Miriam pinched her chin as she listened. Was this an exaggeration?

  “Last night, when I was at work, I got another one of those phone calls that stops you dead in your tracks. Megan was in the hospital, suffering from a drug overdose.”

  “The hospital . . .” Miriam realized this was indeed serious.

  “I left work and rushed to the hospital. Megan lay there, hooked up to monitors, brought back from death. I’m so grateful Grace found her sister and called an ambulance. Not the first time for Megan. She’s been taking pain killers ever since she had knee surgery for a soccer injury. I’ve been working with the doctors to wean her off, but she keeps going around us. She’s developed an addiction.”

  Miriam turned to Alvin, who nodded. “We’ve heard about these addictions,” she said. “It’s happened to some Amish youth, too. Such a problem for everyone.”

  “It doesn’t help that I have to work night shifts. It’s a bad time to let teens loose on their own. After Sarah died I took three months off to be with the girls and try to provide some stability. It wasn’t enough, but I’m out of vac
ation time, and I can’t afford to quit the job.”

  “A man must work,” Alvin agreed.

  “But Megan isn’t the only problem. Grace was hunched up in a chair beside Megan’s bed at the hospital, but Serena was nowhere in sight. When I got home, pillows were propped up on Serena’s bed to make it look like she was asleep. Again, not the first time. She goes out drinking and socializing. Our resident party girl.”

  Like her mother, Miriam thought. Sarah had possessed a wild streak, a contagious laugh, and a desire to escape the traditional ways of her family.

  “I can’t rely on Serena for anything, and the older two are no help to Grace, who’s only fifteen and hates being alone in the house at night. Grace is basically a good kid, but she’s not as independent as her sisters. She needs people around her. Lately she seems to be afraid of everything. I worry that one of these days she’ll be afraid to step off the curb and cross the street.”

  “Children need to know they’re loved,” Miriam said. “Family is important.”

  Sully nodded. “When she was little, I used to tell her she needed to be brave like the Irish warrior princess she was named after, Grace O’Malley.” The tension left his face for a moment. “Those were good years, when the girls were little and Sarah was there to guide and inspire them. Sarah filled our days and nights with so much love and laughter. I didn’t realize how precious those days were until they were gone. But now, I can barely stand to look at my girls. Not because I’m angry with them, but because I know I’ve failed them. I can’t provide the home they need. That’s why we need you. The twins are of legal age, but neither of them is ready to face the world alone. If you will have them, maybe for just a year, I’m sure they’ll abide by your rules.”

  Oh, dear Gott in heaven, what to do? Miriam wanted to help her nieces. Those three were not the best behaved of children, but years spent corralling her own brood had taught her that a little discipline and a lot of love could go a long way.

  But to bring in three teenage girls. And here their youngest, Sarah Rose, would be going off to school next year, not to mention the good prospect of Essie’s getting married and moving to a home with her husband.