Listening to Love

by Beth Wiseman

  When she went into her bedroom, she tiptoed as she changed into her nightclothes, then started out the door to go to the kitchen.

  Isaac cleared his throat. “I know you don’t go to the kitchen to eat cookies and have warm milk.”

  Helen froze. “I didn’t know you were awake.” She slowly turned around. “Hmm . . . How long have you known that?”

  “How long have we been married? That’s how long.” Her husband lit the lantern, then patted the bed. “Come here, lieb.”

  She shuffled to the bed and collapsed as her bottom lip trembled. “I’m feeling bad about the way I talked to Cecelia. I am heartbroken about Lucas. Miriam’s boyfriend broke up with her, and while I think she will get over it, she’s upset.” Helen swiped at her eyes. “Abram has taken to wetting the bed again, and I thought we were past that.” She held her head in her hands as a tear slid down her cheek. “And sometimes I don’t want to talk to anyone about it. I just want to cry. Not talk. Only cry. It might seem silly, I know, but after holding things in, I feel the need to cry it away. And I pray.”

  Isaac opened his arms wide, and Helen laid her face against his bare chest and cried while he stroked her hair. “You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders alone, Helen. I’m here. But you must also try not to worry about the things we can’t control.”

  “Ya, if only it was that easy,” she said as she sniffled.

  “If it was easy, we wouldn’t appreciate the fruits of our labor.” He eased her away and looked into her eyes. “Now, do you know what I think?”

  Helen waited.

  “I think we should sneak into the kitchen and have a couple of those sugar cookies and maybe even a slice of that key lime pie you made.” He pushed her hair away from her face and kissed her on the forehead. “And there’s a box of donuts from the bakery on the counter. You know those will be gone right away in the morning, so we might as well have one. And . . .”

  Helen stopped crying and smiled.

  Isaac laughed softly. “And . . . I have a root beer hidden in the back of one of the cabinets. We can ice it down and split it.”

  Helen’s mouth fell open. They never bought sodas.

  “Sometimes you have to change things up, Helen. Let the Lord do His gut work while you’re stuffing yourself silly.”

  She gave a taut nod of her head as a grin overtook her face, and together they started toward the kitchen.

  “I love you, Isaac,” she whispered as they left their bedroom.

  “And I love you, Helen.”

  * * *

  Cecelia showed up at Moses’s house right at ten on Friday. Since she’d paid all the bills—and those had added up to a lot—she wasn’t sure what to do until he returned home. She wanted to earn the money he was paying her. After locating some cleaning supplies, she gave the furniture a once-over with polish, then swept the wood floors, and when he wasn’t home by noon, she found a can of ravioli in the pantry. She’d already opened the can when she realized she didn’t know a thing about operating a wood oven. There was kindling in a metal carrier next to it, along with some larger logs. She’d seen Moses retrieve matches from a drawer by the sink. As she looked back and forth between the oven and the can of ravioli, she opted to eat it cold instead of risk burning down the house. She’d loved the stuff when she was a kid, but not so much now, especially cold.

  Afterward, she made a list of things he needed to stock the pantry. Cecelia couldn’t afford to buy the food, but if he approved the list, she could at least do the shopping so the man wouldn’t starve.

  It was nearing three o’clock when she heard a car pull onto the gravel drive, and by the time she got to the window, Moses had stepped out of the car. Whoever was driving cut the engine, got out, and leaned against the vehicle.

  “Welcome home,” she said when Moses came through the door. He was wearing the same clothes as when he’d left Monday. Or is he? The only variance in his wardrobe was the shirts, and she supposed he had more than one gray shirt. But he wasn’t holding a suitcase. Cecelia could never take an impromptu trip like that—see a man in a store about a horse, then leave right then to go have a look, and stay for days. But if Moses’s checkbooks said anything, it was that the guy had money.

  He hung his hat on the rack by the door. “Happy to be home.” Smiling, he walked toward her and stopped inches away. “You don’t have any makeup on.”

  Cecelia blushed. She’d slowly been wearing less and less—except when she’d gone to dinner with Tom. “I-I’ve slowly been eliminating it.” She didn’t want him to think it was solely because of him, so she added, “It’s better for my complexion.” Besides, the kind of makeup she’d been using for years was expensive, which reminded her of the purse she found in her closet the day before that still had the tags on it. In an effort to improve her financial situation, maybe she could take it back and get a refund.

  “I like it.” Moses gazed into her eyes, his lips close enough that he could have easily kissed her. When he brushed a loose strand of hair from her face, Cecelia was afraid he might actually do it. And she might have let him. Instead, he eased around her and walked to his bedroom. She willed her heart to stop pounding so hard, but she was glad he hadn’t kissed her. She wasn’t ready for that, and she still wasn’t sure about her feelings for Tom.

  Moses returned to the living room a few minutes later with a wad of cash in his hand. “I think I calculated your hours correctly, but if not, just let me know, and I’ll get you the rest.”

  Cecelia accepted the cash, hoping his calculations weren’t off.

  “I need to tell you something. I’m afraid there was a situation with one of your horses.” She paused when Moses frowned. “The horse is fine. And my daughter will be okay, eventually.”

  Moses’s jaw dropped a little bit. “What about Natalie? What do you mean she’ll be okay eventually?”

  His instant concern for her daughter touched Cecelia. She gave him a blow-by-blow account of what happened, leaving nothing out.

  “Anyway, Natalie is pretty bruised up, but getting better.” Cecelia squeezed her eyes closed, then looked back at him. “She knows she was foolish to think she could ride that horse. I’m so sorry Helen had to tranquilize it. The entire ordeal was terrifying.”

  “Ach, no worries. I’m just glad your daughter wasn’t hurt worse. Thank Gott for that.” He held up a finger as he walked toward his bedroom. “Don’t go away. I’ll be right back.” He closed the door behind him.

  Cecelia waited about five minutes but finally got her purse and walked to his door. She didn’t open it or knock. “I’m leaving. See you Monday.”

  “Wait. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  She sat back down on the couch and counted the money he’d given her. He had calculated correctly, and she supposed that to most people, it might not seem like much. But it would scratch the surface on her highest credit card bill. And, more than that, it felt like a huge accomplishment.

  After another fifteen minutes, Moses emerged with two large suitcases.

  “You’re leaving again?” At least he was packing this time, but by the size of the luggage, she suspected he would be gone longer than four days.

  “Ya.” He hung his head and shook it. “I hate traveling, but sometimes my job calls for it. There are three horses I need to see, but they’re in Springfield.”

  “Springfield, Illinois? That’s about a five-hour drive, isn’t it?”

  Moses nodded. “Ya, the driver is waiting to take me to the bus station.” He sniffed the air. “It smells like lemons in here.”

  “I ran out of things to do, so I cleaned a little. I hope you don’t mind.” Cecelia folded her hands in front of her and wondered if Moses thought her blue blouse brought out the color of her eyes. Does it really matter if he notices such things?

  “Mind? Of course, I don’t mind, but you can always leave for the day if you run out of things to do.”

  Cecelia was quiet. She needed the money. Maybe
if she worked hard, Moses would increase her hours.

  “How long will you be gone this time?” The best part of this job, aside from the money she was making, was spending time with Moses. As friends, of course.

  “Ach, I’m not sure. Maybe a couple weeks.” He walked toward her and handed her a piece of paper with numbers on it. “I made some deposits, and here are the amounts I put in each account.” He walked back into his room, then returned with a plastic grocery bag, handing it to her. “And these are the bills I need paid while I’m gone.”

  Cecelia peeked inside the bag. “Good grief. That’s a lot of bills.” She’d just mailed the other ones. “It won’t take two weeks for me to pay these. Which account should I use?”

  “These are payments to individuals, people who have done work for me, like farriers, repairmen, a guy I bought hay from, things like that. So, pay them out of the business account.” He winked at her. “Then you can do whatever you want.”

  Cecelia scratched her head with one finger, frowning. “I’m confused. You’re paying me to work from ten to three, basically four and a half hours per day, considering the half hour for lunch. What do you mean do whatever I want? I want to earn my paycheck.” Small as it may be.

  He touched her arm. “Don’t worry. I’m still going to pay you the hours we agreed on. But for the next two weeks, if you see a project you feel like tackling, have at it. Or if you want to leave early, I’m fine with that too.” He removed his hand from her arm and pointed to the plastic bag. “There’s also an envelope with some cash for Helen, so she can pay one of her boys to tend to the horses while I’m gone. Tell her I don’t want her doing it.” No arguments from me. “She’s got bad arthritis.” He hung his head briefly before looking back at Cecelia. “It’s sad, too, because she’s so young for that.”

  “Yes, all right.” She thought for a few minutes. “Do you mind if I paint the room I’m working in and maybe store some of the sewing things in the basement?” No need to stock his pantry since he was leaving again.

  “Ya, sure. That’s fine.” He raised an eyebrow. “How are things with Tom?”

  Cecelia’s pulse raced at the mention of her ex-husband’s name, but the jolt was also fueled by Moses’s interest in her love life. She shrugged. “I don’t know. We had dinner the other night, and it went okay.”

  She searched his face for any kind of reaction, but his blank expression wasn’t providing any clues. It shouldn’t matter if he cares or not. Then his eyebrows narrowed into a frown, just briefly, before the poker face returned.

  “Could you forgive him?” Moses kept his eyes fused with hers.

  “Could you, if it had been Marianne?”

  His face took on a calculating expression as he stroked his beard. “I can’t imagine Marianne or me ever cheating on each other.”

  “I couldn’t have predicted Tom would either.” Cecelia looked down and sighed.

  “Hey.” Moses gently cupped her chin and lifted her eyes to his. She could tell by the way he was looking at her that he was going to kiss her if she let him. She didn’t move when he pressed his lips against hers, the kiss as tender and light as the early-spring breeze wafting in the opened windows. Cecelia basked in the heady sensation.

  Chapter 14

  Helen walked into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. Abram was home from school having a snack, the girls were starting supper, and Isaac was in the barn with the boys. All except for Lucas, who had gone to Levi and Mary’s for supper. Presumably Natalie would be there, but she couldn’t concern herself with that right now.

  Limping to the nightstand, she took out the binoculars and went to the window. Earlier, she’d taken glasses and a pitcher of iced tea to Isaac and the boys. On her way back from the barn, she’d seen Cecelia’s car at Moses’s house, after three o’clock, which was when she’d been leaving most days. Helen heard the car start in the distance every afternoon when Cecelia left. There was also a driver leaning against the car that must have delivered Moses home.

  As she held the binoculars to her eyes, Helen’s hands trembled, mostly because she didn’t want Isaac catching her spying on their neighbor, but her arthritis was giving her hands trouble too. Moses’s front door opened, and he stepped out with two suitcases. Cecelia followed him to the car. Helen supposed he was off on another business trip. But he just got home.

  After the driver stowed the luggage in the trunk, he went and waited in the driver’s seat. Then Moses turned around and hugged Cecelia. Then he kissed her on the mouth, and Helen gasped and dropped the binoculars.

  She saw the barn door open, and Eli walked out with his father, followed by the rest of her boys. She quickly scooped up the binoculars and stashed them back in the drawer of the nightstand. She sat on the bed as disappointment rushed over her. Moses and Marianne had been good neighbors and friends to Helen and her family, and she was sure Moses was lonely now that Marianne had passed. But Helen had hoped she was wrong about her neighbor and Cecelia.

  She stood up, sighed, and made her way to the kitchen to help the girls get supper on the table, as Isaac and the boys were surely taking their seats. She passed the window in the living room and saw Cecelia’s car pull in the driveway. Helen hurried out the front door and met Cecelia in the yard, not wanting that woman anywhere near her family.

  Cecelia handed Helen an envelope. “Moses asked me to give this to you. He has to be gone for a couple weeks, and he was hoping one of your sons could look after his horses while he’s gone. He asked that you not tend to them because of your arthritis. There’s cash in the envelope.”

  Helen pushed it back at Cecelia, but she didn’t take it. “Moses is a gut man, and he lets mei sohns keep their horses in his barn.” She shook her head. “We won’t accept payment.”

  Cecelia shifted her weight. “You can take that up with him when he gets back. But I’m sure he would prefer that you keep the money.”

  It felt wrong to accept payment since it was just one neighbor helping another, but Helen nodded. Maybe she’d assign Jacob with the task. He probably needed the money the most.

  Cecelia looked down, kicked at the grass with the toe of her white sandal, then lifted her eyes to Helen’s. “I said some ugly things to you the other day, especially about Lucas, and I want to apologize.”

  Helen wanted to apologize, too, for some of the things she’d said, but the words weren’t coming. God was surely frowning down on her right now. He was presenting her with an opportunity.

  “I will speak with Moses when he returns.” Helen kept the envelope, turned around, and started back to the house.

  She slowed and again considered apologizing to Cecelia, but each time she opened her mouth, she recalled the kiss she’d witnessed, which caused her pulse to pound against her temples. She turned around and called out to Cecelia.

  “I saw you kissing Moses.” She pointed a finger at Cecelia and waited for her to take on a snappy tone and defend herself. Instead, the woman tucked her chin and went back to her car without looking at Helen or saying another word.

  * * *

  Natalie and Lucas had shown up at Levi and Mary’s at the same time, so they walked into the living room holding hands, a show of unity. It felt good to have their feelings for each other out in the open.

  But Mary didn’t seem to notice. She took one look at Natalie and covered her mouth with her hand as her eyes welled with tears.

  “Don’t cry.” Natalie let go of Lucas’s hand and went to Mary. “It looks much worse than it feels.” Her eye was really black now, and the entire right side of her face had swollen even more, despite the ice she kept on it. Her upper lip resembled a platypus on one side. She’d worn long sleeves and jeans, even though she knew it would be warm in the house. “But maybe don’t hug me.” She grinned. “It’s not just my face that took a beating.” Chuckling, she said, “I had some explaining to do at school today.”

  Mary lowered her hand from her mouth, glanced at Lucas, then back at Natalie. “I’
m so sorry that happened. I really am.” She continued to blink back tears, as she was known to cry when someone she loved was hurting.

  “What’s for supper?” Natalie lifted an eyebrow, hoping to lighten the moment. “You know how much I look forward to this. It’s the best meal of the week, plus I get to see you two.” She pointed back and forth between Mary and Levi, then turned to Lucas. “And this guy.”

  “We’re having ham, potato salad, green beans, and, of course, buttered bread and chow-chow.” Mary sniffled.

  “Yum.” Mary always prepared a great meal, and chow-chow was always on the table. Natalie loved the pickled vegetables. She followed Levi and Mary into the kitchen, Lucas trailing behind her.

  After they’d bowed their heads in prayer, Natalie was prepared for a bombardment of questions about her and Lucas, but it wasn’t until dessert—a peach pie—that Mary cleared her throat.

  “So, word travels quickly.” She dabbed at her mouth with her napkin. “I understand you two have officially become a couple. Jacob overheard his parents talking about what happened after the horse incident. He had errands in Shoals, so he stopped in to see us.”

  Lucas had a mouthful of food, so Natalie spoke up. “We love each other, and not being together was hurting us both more than we were willing to bear.”

  Lucas looked at his brother. “Levi, I know this upsets the entire family, but I hope Natalie and I will have your blessing.”

  Levi nodded but cast his eyes down.

  Natalie glanced at each of them. Lucas had stopped eating. Levi continued looking at his plate, and Mary looked like she might cry again. Natalie looked at Lucas. “But you’re not baptized, so you won’t be shunned, right?” She knew it to be true but said it as a reminder to everyone.