Under the Influence- How to Fake Your Way Into Getting Rich on Instagram

by Trey Ratcliff

  Also, remember, over time, your interests will change, and it’s okay for what you share to reflect that. Many people come to the conscious realization that they are a work in process and change is quite natural. Change is fine, and, in fact, change is the natural path of an entropic universe.

  So, how do you balance selfies into the flow of your feed? Yes, people like to see you and that’s perfectly okay. Humans respond to human faces, especially of people they follow, whether they be male or female. So it’s okay to include selfies and pictures of yourself—just don’t overdo it.

  My friend Rick Sammon, better known to some as the godfather of photography, said, “I use selfies to show the personal side of me, like drinking a beer or having Indian food.” His quotes are usually more prophetic than that one, but you get the idea.

  A good example of a balanced approach is my friend Sofia Jin (@sofjin_). Yes, she’s a real stunner, but if you can peel yourself away from her mind-blowing beauty, you can see she’s into all kinds of hobbies and activities. And she’s very positive.

  Sofia could make 100% of the images she posts to Instagram be photos of her. But you only see one every so often. She knows very well she could have 10x more followers if she just posted photos of her physical perfection. To this, she told me, “Sexy only—what a boring way to be.”

  She’s really into particle physics. What a nerd. I use the word “nerd” in a complimentary way.

  She’s learning about photography and sharing her efforts online.

  Sofia heads out to photography exhibits and shares all kinds of stuff she thinks is interesting.

  A silly picture Sofia posted.

  To take a balanced approach to her feed, Sofia told me, “If I think I’m starting to create unattainable expectations of ‘perfection’ for myself, I post a deliberately silly face to break up the tension. I also trust that my followers know that my appearance isn’t the crux of my profile.”

  Sofia’s 40,000 followers are 76% men and 24% women. Most female Instagram models have an even more extreme male-to-female follower ratio. Sofia can see the same thing that most of us can, which is how it can be very tempting to get big numbers by being as sexy as possible. So her message is a great one for all women out there. You don’t have to copycat all those hollow Instagram models. You can just be you, and everything will work out just fine. In fact, here’s a secret: when you focus on discovering and sharing your true self, your life will be filled with a lot more meaning.

  I asked Sofia if she knows other models that have purchased Instagram followers. She laughed, and said, “Anyone who buys followers [or] likes for themselves is deeply insecure in a way that fake followers and bots can’t remedy.”

  Curate Your Feed

  This seems pretty basic, but I’m surprised by how many people don’t bother curating their feed or don’t do it ruthlessly enough. So many people surf Instagram and Facebook the same way we all used to surf cable TV, clicking that remote for hours and never finding anything good to land on and watch.

  I often think that looking at my Facebook feed is the equivalent of staring into my fridge when I’m not even hungry.

  You know that if you follow someone and it doesn’t work out, you don’t have to give them your time and attention indefinitely. You can unfollow them—no awkward breakup speech required. This is one piece of advice I have—if you find yourself reacting negatively to a post you see in your feed, use the unfollow button. That way, there’s a little less negativity in your life than there was before.

  My friend John Tierney, a science journalist for the New York Times, reminded me of this sanity-protecting tip recently. He said, “Because of our negativity bias, we pay more attention to bad things than good things in just about all facets of life, including social media. Negative posts and tweets get more immediate attention than positive tweets, and they tend to make people turn more negative in their own tweets and posts. To counteract this bias, you need to curate your feed. Try to follow people who do positive posts. You’ll feel better, and you’ll get a more accurate view of the world because there are a lot more good things than bad things happening.”

  He’s right. Don’t be afraid to use the power of the unfollow button.

  Don’t Make Wealth or Fame Your Goal

  Neither wealth nor fame matter. They only have power if you give them power inside your mind.

  I was driving in New Zealand with my friend Tom Anderson (the famous @myspacetom) a few years ago. We were headed to Lake Tekapo to take some photos and hang out, and he was checking his Instagram on the way.

  “I have a theory,” I said to Tom. He was only kind of paying attention—he was mostly checking his Instagram. “My theory is that everyone on these social networks, like Instagram, really wants to get famous. They think that when they reach that zenith, they will finally be happy.”

  I went on with a lengthy diatribe, which I will attempt to dissect here, although Tom wasn’t really listening. He was too busy thumbing through Instagram at the time to contribute much to the conversation, but now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I think my theory was pretty good.

  I began the diatribe with, “I bet we’re moving into a world where most people think they are famous.” Tom, who is actually famous, probably nodded. Still scrolling.

  Here’s my friend @myspacetom. He was a photo-takin’ machine there for a few years!

  It would be a bizarre world indeed if there were millions of people who were all convinced they were really famous. And, eerily, this is the world we live in. Fame is a strange thing, and though I only have a limited amount of it personally, I can attest to this. I’ve seen it really mess with people’s heads, and it often takes one’s ego to another level. Fame can also cause depression, anxiety, and all sorts of terrible things. I think we can see this happening with many Instagram “Stars.” And still, people crave fame.

  As for the fake Influencers who have bought their fame by purchasing followers, some of these people still actually really believe they are famous! They slip into (fake) Influencer mode and somehow conveniently forget that bought followers, even when they pay extra for the “real” followers, are all bots. They get so caught up in the game.

  I also talked to well-known photographer Lindsay Adler (@lindsayadler_photo) about fake celebrities. She shared this:

  I think nowadays everyone treats their social media accounts like their very own reality TV show— a chance to show the glamour and excitement in their lives. Like reality TV, there may be truth to the posts, but things are also clearly staged. I think that with Instagram, things feel even more ‘real’ to people following these online celebrities. Their realities may starkly contrast your own, but they still feel “real,” which makes it extraordinarily tempting to compare yourselves to these individuals, and quite honestly impossible not to compare yourself.

  I think this pushes both men and women to constantly perform (in real life and online) and makes it even more of a challenge to discover who you really are. Getting to know yourself takes decades, but if you’ve also spent decades crafting an online persona based upon a desire to please people while comparing yourself to successful ‘Influencers,’ I feel that many may never find themselves.

  A lot of people think that when they finally get rich, well, then they will be happy. But we all know plenty of miserable rich people. It’s true that, up to a certain point, wealth and contentment are correlated. However, once you have enough wealth for the basics, like food and shelter, each marginal dollar doesn’t make you happier. After that point, wealth and contentment are not correlated and have nothing to do with one another.

  So, instead of searching for wealth and fame, what should we be looking for? A vital beginning step is to find peace and meaning in your current life. I am sure there are countless things in your life for which you can feel grateful for now. When you cultivate a mindful life full of gratitude and meaning, everything gets a lot easier.

  A more
difficult attitude to cultivate is one where you do not desire anything. So much of our life, especially the capitalist consumerist messaging, tells us that we would be happier driving a better car or relaxing on a beach vacation, instead of right where we are.

  The Buddha once said, “Suffering is caused by selfish craving and personal desire.” It doesn’t matter what religion you are—even if you’re an atheist. You can’t argue with that truth. Think about every time you’ve had some kind of mental suffering. It’s almost always because you want something in your life that you don’t currently have. It could be something as shallow as some extra likes on your post or something as intense as your ex saying something that you don’t like to hear. Your ego is keeping a running list of all the things you need in order for your life to get better. Every one of those needs is the root of its own kind of suffering.

  Once you check out of the ego game, your mind will have a solid foundation on which to build. Then you can begin to add extra stuff to your life without taking anything too seriously.

  It’s a lot like love. This is a great analogy, so stick with me for a moment. A lot of people out there need to learn how to be alone and love themselves 100% first. That’s key. I’m sure you’ve already heard this common advice about love. It’s not easy, and this is why so few people do it. So many people are dependent on another person to make them happy. It’s a recipe for disaster, and we all know it. However, once you do love yourself 100%, you’re in store for a tremendous relationship because now, all the extra love you get and give is bonus! Well, the one caveat is you also have to find someone who already loves themselves 100% too. Otherwise, you’ll end up with an energy vampire. We’ve all been there and that’s not what I’m talking about.

  Anyway, the analogy is appropriate for you and your contentment. Be 100% content with your life the way it is right now. Then, when you start to add in more “stuff” to your life, it’s all a wonderful bonus on top of a solid foundation.

  How Do I “Check Out” of the Instagram Ego Game?

  Aha. I thought you’d never ask!

  If you find that your ego is indeed causing issues in your life, then you have another path.

  If you agree you have the power to use your mind when you desire and in the manner in which you desire, then you can choose to ignore the insidious thoughts your ego attempts to insert into your daily dialogue. Simply check out of the game.

  Does checking out mean quitting social media cold turkey? Not necessarily. As I see it, you have two choices if you decide you want to play the Instagram game differently. Quitting cold turkey is one of them—you don’t post anything at all, you don’t spend any time on these apps. Alternatively, you can do what I do, and only post stuff that you think is interesting, only follow people who you think are interesting and don’t worry too much about the scoreboard.

  Although this may sound a bit sappy, I think of it like this. We are all a little like flowers. We grow and sprout petals. We notice the wind as it blows us around. We notice when it rains, and the drops hit our petals. But none of that adversity matters. We just grow, because that’s what flowers do. It’s important to acknowledge the wind and the rain, but you just accept them without judgment.

  Accepting adversity without judgment is an incredible skill to develop and being able to do so will help you for the rest of your life. So, you can think of social networks as a little test-bed for practicing this skill. If you don’t let things bother you online, you can transfer this attitude to your entire life. It’s how I navigate without constantly getting my feathers ruffled. Taking this approach isn’t the only one, but it’s one that’s worked for me and has saved me a lot of stress and heartache.

  I talked to my clever, zen friend Josh Whiton about this. He offered, “I’m way into enlightenment as a real path for humans. I’ve definitely had big awakenings, without any substances—big awakenings into some kind of phenomenal open-hearted consciousness that was bliss to inhabit and where everything was joyous. And I remember losing that a few times after sharing online about it and getting praised, judged, and criticized. The observation I made was that all that social media stuff had taken me out of a low-ego or relatively ego-less state and re-formed it and solidified it. So yeah, social media is like crack to the ego.”

  A Thought Experiment

  You know that voice that bounces around in your head? Yeah, the one that chatters away at you in the morning, mid-day, and night before you finally fall asleep. It says some pretty mean things, like, “Why did you eat that extra slice of cake?” “Did you forget to call your mom again?” and “You should have written something else in that email to your boss.”

  Imagine those thoughts were not in your head but said aloud by a human who follows you around. This is an idea from Michael Singer’s book The Untethered Soul,86 which I highly recommend.

  This person that follows you around says some pretty nasty stuff. They might say all these things to you within the next three minutes:

  “Why did you comment on that in such a way?”

  “You look kinda fat in that outfit.”

  “Why did that photo you posted only get 21 likes?”

  “You should really send your mom a gift!”

  “You should read more books.”

  “You look pretty chubby today, chubbo.”

  “You should exercise more.”

  “Maybe you should go back to school.”

  “What’s wrong with your hair?”

  “You could have been nicer to your parents.”

  “You didn’t get your mom a gift last time. You need to get her one.”

  “Maybe you should read more books.”

  “You really look kinda fat in that outfit.”

  Wow, that annoying person could go on forever and ever. They sound like a jerk, too. All day, sitting beside you in the car, in the stall beside you in the bathroom, walking beside you on the way to the mailbox, while you’re standing in line to get coffee, they’re saying mean things about you. There would be zero seconds of silence.

  Eventually, you would turn to that other person and say, “Hey, shut the fuck up!”

  It would be great if you could silence that inner voice of negativity. This is why I like meditation and creativity. For me, these tools helped me learn how to silence all of that.

  Being able to understand and quiet the unnecessary inner negativity makes it easier to spot unnecessary external negativity. Once you’ve identified it in yourself, it’s much easier to identify it online. Then you can filter it out.

  Quit the Self-inflicted Zero Sum Game

  Remember back in Chapter 5 when we talked about zero-sum games? Well, there are other types of games too, where more than one person wins. In many aspects of life, you can be engaged in situations where everybody wins. There is not a finite amount of awesomeness in the world, so there is no need to treat it like a finite resource.

  There are several benefits to getting out of the zero-sum comparison game, including having a clearer and calmer mind. Instead of wasting brain cycles on nonsense, you are free to pursue other things in your life that can add to your life, rather than subtract from it.

  Now, the simple act of noticing that you are playing may not necessarily make quitting the game any easier, but you can begin by watching yourself a bit more. Here’s how you can have a mini-intervention when you’re online:

  Step 1: Notice you are comparing yourself to others online. You’re good at this now, because you did the thought experiment above and can identify when posts are introducing negativity into your life.

  Step 2: Remember that you are already a fully realized human being (or, at least, a work in progress!) and there is no need to compare.

  Step 3: If you slip back into the game, forgive yourself.

  Go back to Step 1 and repeat.

  Over time, you can reprogram your brain from playing this ridiculous game it keeps getting drawn into.

  In
other words, follow Rule #4 from renowned psychologist Jordan B. Peterson’s book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. “Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.”87

  Unplug from Instagram

  Remember, above, when I said there were two approaches to having a healthy relationship with social media? We just discussed one, where you construct an online experience that doesn’t suck, and doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself. The second one is quitting cold turkey. In this section, we talk about how and why you might want to stop using social media altogether.

  The less time you spend on Instagram, the more you’ll have time to get to know yourself.

  Your mind is addicted to thinking and finding more input to build the scaffolding of your own story that it made up for you. And whenever you are using Instagram, that ego tends to get a little stronger. Now, this is not the case for everyone on Instagram. I think there are a lot of people that just love creating, sharing, and inspiring. That’s great! And that comes from a pure place.

  Maybe you’ve read this far because some of the things you see in your Instagram life are actually driving you a little bit nuts. You don’t like this; it doesn’t quite feel right. And maybe you kind of beat yourself up and say you will try not to use Instagram so much, but that is like saying, “I really shouldn’t drink so much,” or “I really shouldn’t eat another cookie” (remember the negative internal voice?) That sort of negative self-talk is not a good way to make change.

  So, maybe you decide to just quit Instagram altogether. How do you do it?