Under the Influence- How to Fake Your Way Into Getting Rich on Instagram

by Trey Ratcliff

  I believe that beauty is around us all the time. Some people are too busy looking at their phones to look up and notice.

  I’m mostly a travel and landscape photographer, but I don’t limit myself by these definitions. I see beautiful things and people everywhere. Look at this incredible bamboo forest in Kyoto, Japan. How is it even possible something so amazing exists on this strange rock we’re on, flying around the sun?

  The Museum of Evolution. If you don’t believe in evolution, then let’s agree to call dinosaurs “Jesus Horses.” Anyway, this is an image from my fine art series made out of 250 different photos painstakingly pieced together over hundreds of hours. Collectors who appreciate the details of beauty can study an infinite amount of tiny and interesting elements when it’s printed out in full at 3 meters (10 feet) across.

  Here’s a headhunter in Papua New Guinea. He had eyes from every universe.

  I spent about a month living in Antarctica. On the first day, I had to go into survival training, where we dug out ice caves for sleeping and built structures like this so we could cook meals. It reminded me of Minecraft in real life!

  I took this photo of Anthony Bourdain a little before he committed suicide. I loved this guy and I’m sad he is gone. I’m so confused about why he killed himself, although I have a few ideas. I understand the nihilistic tendencies of a creative intellectual, and I try to channel that energy to enthuse my sanguine approach to life.

  One of my counter-intuitive truths of photography is that it is interesting to confuse or obscure information. This principle does not, of course, extend to misleading stats and fraudulent behavior that I discussed earlier.

  I love all the art and random things that happen at Burning Man and have returned every year since 2011 to have a digital detox and recharge my creative battery. I know many people can be very judgmental about the event, but I think it says more about them than the actual festival. I can tell you, with absolute and ontological certainty, that if everyone on earth did MDMA, the human race would be in a much better place.

  This is the Aurora Australis just off the southern edge of New Zealand.

  An abandoned yacht in the middle of Chinese government housing.

  Over the years, I’ve amassed quite a collection of photos from Burning Man. I have my full portfolio online if you’d like to see more. Just go to stuckincustoms.smugmug.com/Burning-Man

  I took this in Cinque Terre, Italy halfway through my European photo walk tour last year. This is a three-minute exposure taken during a rainstorm. It’s important to note that I took this after having a whole pizza and entire bottle of wine.

  This is a very mysterious place in Death Valley where the rocks move across the desert in the most unbelievable manner. I won’t tell you how they move, but you would never guess it in a million years. I’m not telling you because I think it is important to just wonder about some things. In a world where you can Google anything, humans are forgetting how to wonder.

  This is a leopard in Botswana eating Warthog tapas. I never knew how much I loved animals until I spent several weeks in Africa taking photos of animals in their raw element. Now I can spend all day with animals, especially elephants. If you think that sounds boring, then you probably need some quality time with elephants.

  Appendix B

  The 1,000 Tane Commandments

  What follows are the 1,000 custom comments that I threw together and purchased for the fake account of @genttravel. One of the comment-buying services I used allows you to create your own comments that get spread around as many photos you want.

  We did this to illustrate how fake Influencers can trick brands or agencies or brands into making them think you are getting actual engagement.

  Oh Tane—Never cry for that person who doesn’t know the value of your tears.

  Don’t let your eyes be blinded by his booty, Tane

  They say tongue is the strongest muscle of the body. Wanna fight, Tane?

  Tane, do you live in a corn field, coz I’m stalking you.

  Boys are like purses, cute, full of crap, and can always be replaced. And so is Tane.

  I take a lot of pride in being myself. I’m comfortable with who I am. Tane, I will now call you Wolfgang Thrust.

  A human. Being. A human. Tane.

  Tane! Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.

  A man of puzzle and force, whose force is surpassed just by his secret—totally Tane!

  Yo Tanster! Simple during childbirth, computerized by configuration.

  I generally feel dismal for seedless watermelons, in light of the fact that imagine a scenario in which they needed children. Tane doesn’t, though.

  I’m truly a titan cupcake. Perplexed about crazy rides and dry ice Tane Says True.

  Yo Tanster! Trying to forget it but the memories are too strong.

  Tane, Right? We all start as strangers.

  Truth is, I’m crazy for you. And everyone can see that but you. Yes, you Tane,

  I act like I’m ok, but I’m really not. Not like you are Big Gent.

  Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it. You got that tanster?

  Tane, Don’t worry if you haven’t found your true love, they’re just with someone else right now.

  Gent Travel! If I die tomorrow, will you remember me?

  Oh Tanay—Keep smiling because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about

  Being single is smarter than being in the wrong relationship. Listen up Gent Tane

  Do you sit in a pile of sugar? cause you got a pretty sweet ass! , Tane

  Did you swallow magnets? cause you are attractive! Listen up Gent Tane

  Kiss me if I’m wrong but Dinosaurs still exist? Right? Yes, you Tane,

  Nice t-shirt. Can I talk you out of it? Not like you are Big Gent.

  Do you have a name or can I call you Mine? You got that tanster?

  Tane! Do you like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometimes!

  Yo Tanster! Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

  Tane, Right? Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

  Oh Tane—I don’t need your approval to be me.

  Gent Travel! I am who I am, I am what I am, I do what I do and I ain’t never gonna do it any different. I don’t care who likes it and who don’t.

  Oh Tanay—Take me as I am, or watch me as I go.

  Sir Tane—If I were you, I would adore me.

  Big T Me? Weird? Girl Please! I am Limited Edition.

  tane—i am not perfect. I make mistakes. But when I say Sorry I mean it!

  Oh Please Tane—I am not trying to give an image of a fairy-tale, perfect, everything else, I am just being myself.

  I was both loved and hated for being upfront. But I was just being myself. Forgive me, Tane.

  I like being myself. Maybe just slimmer, with a few less wrinkles. Don’t hate me, Tane.

  Everyone said I could be Anything.. So I became Sexy! Tane Sexpot!

  Completely clumsy, proudest of geek & nerd, decreaser of world sucking , but not Tane

  Tane, ummm—Forcefully early stages and stuff

  Tane! All you fashionable people need to quit wearing Nirvana shirts on the off chance that you don’t even hear them out.

  Tane, Right? Anybody knows my Instagram username not making another record once more.

  Tane, Are you a broker on the grounds that I’d like you to leave me a credit

  Oh Tane—Uncovered. Frequently Unreliable. Effectively distract

  Gent Travel! Conceived at an exceptionally youthful age

  Oh Tanay—Amigo, would you be able to standard?

  Sir Tane—Light, waggish, effectual, inexhaustible, demiurgic, friendly advertising buddy, independent thousandaire Outdoors is plans

  Big T Would someone be able to let me know my Instagram username I bolted myself out and I don’t realize what to do

  tane�
�Chocolate doesn’t make inquiries, chocolate gets it

  Oh Please Tane—Espresso Drinker, eReader Addict, Blogger. I’m exceptionally occupied and wonderful

  Currently featuring in my own particular reality show titled, A Modern Cinderella; One Girl’s Search for Love and Shoes , Tane

  Try not to think for a brief moment that I really mind what you need to say And so is Tane.

  Think ambitiously (little textual style) Listen up Gent Tane

  Eating an entire apple center on the grounds that you can’t be tried setting off to the canister, let it out, you’ve done it, Tane.

  Each tempest comes up short on downpour And so is Tane.

  Remarkable finishes in “us” fortuitous event? I think not Listen up Gent Tane

  By and large, the easy way out appeals. Additionally, I am fantastic at parallel stopping. Yes, you Tane,

  God favor this chaotic situation Not like you are Big Gent.

  Great Samaritan, cleaned up competitor, particularly skilled napper. You got that tanster?

  Tane-san—Have heaps of hair and like appalling things

  Travel man Gent—Here to serve. the feline overlord

  I completely loathe Instagram, and whatever else needing to do with hashtags. Except you, Tane

  Tane! I am an on-screen character and an essayist and I co-made my breakfast and my child, Malachai.

  Yo Tanster! I am returning to face the truth that an ordinary day is not lager on the shoreline or calamari in the tummy.

  Tane, Right? I can quote (Insert motion picture) superior to anything you and every one of your companions.

  Tane, I Can’t recollect who I stole my bio from or why

  Oh Tane—I have not lost my psyche its went down on HD some place.

  Gent Travel! I have this new hypothesis that human immaturity doesn’t end until your mid thirties.

  Oh Tanay—I trust one day I adore something the route ladies in advertisements love yogurt

  Sir Tane—I took a gander at my Instagram photographs and acknowledged I look excellent.

  Big T I once wheezed a beanie weenie through my nose. I likewise made a stallion black out in Costa Rica.

  tane—I just rap caucasionally

  Oh Please Tane—I lean toward my plays on words expected

  Tane-san—I put the hot in maniacal

  Travel man Gent—I as of late surrendered Warcraft so my efficiency, and drinking, have expanded dramatically.

  I shouldn’t be permitted to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I’m intoxicated! Yes, Tane-craft.

  Despite everything I don’t comprehend Twitter, yet here I am. Wait, Tane, this is Instagram! I’m too legit to quit you!

  Tane, you should know—I talk like a child and I never pay for beverages.

  You know this Tane, but I believe its irregular if a young lady doesn’t have an Instagram now days.

  I’m embarrassed to say this Tane but I used to act. I additionally hip twirl and eat Jolly Ranchers not generally in the meantime however.

  Lives change like the weather. I hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new. , Tane

  Dear vegetarians, if you’re trying to save animals, then why are you eating their food? And so is Tane.

  A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. Listen up Gent Tane

  They used to shout my name, now they whisper it. , Tane

  Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. And so is Tane.

  Stay sharp and far from timid. Listen up Gent Tane

  If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend? Yes, you Tane,

  Say Beer Can with a British accent. I just taught you to say Bacon with a Jamaican accent. Not like you are Big Gent.

  These are the days we live for. You got that tanster?

  Life is short, false; it’s the longest thing you do. Yes, Tane-craft.

  Work until your idols become your rivals. Wait, Tane, this is Instagram! I’m too legit to quit you!

  A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. A dumb person creates it. Except you, Tane

  Some days start better than others. Tane doesn’t, though

  Mom said life is similar to a container of chocolates, you never realize what your gonna get Forgive me, Tane.

  Mermaids don’t do homework Don’t hate me, Tane.

  My distractions are breakfast, lunch, and supper. Tane, I will now call you Wolfgang Thrust.

  Oh Tane—My life is about as sorted out as the $5 DVD canister at WalMart Tane Sexpot!

  My life was changed by a train. A human. Tane.

  My relationship status? Netflix, Tane Pops, Oreos and warm up pants—totally tane

  Normally and falsely seasoned , but not Tane

  Pleasant fellows completion lunch. , Tane

  Simply a man who sufficiently minded to attempt And so is Tane.

  Gracious I’m sad was my backtalk a lot for you? Listen up Gent Tane

  OMG nobody cares , Tane

  Just Swag young ladies are interested by hashtags on the Facebook. And so is Tane.

  Flawless has 7 letters thus does meeeeee. Incident? I think not. Listen up Gent Tane

  Kindly embed grandiose poo about myself here. Yes, you Tane,

  Present yourself with a beverage, put on some lipstick, and get a hold of yourself. Not like you are Big Gent.

  Presumably the best meat eater on the planet You got that tanster?

  Glad supporter of untidy hair and warm up pants Yes, Tane-craft.

  Pudding tastes better with a plastic spoon Wait, Tane, this is Instagram! I’m too legit to quit you!

  Putting’ the “euphoria” in ‘Advertising’s Except you, Tane

  Suggested by 4 out of 5 individuals that suggest things. Tane doesn’t, though

  Recuperating frozen yogurt fanatic Forgive me, Tane.

  S P E C T A C U L A R V E R N A C U L A R Don’t hate me, Tane.

  Sometime in the not so distant future, there will be a redesigned form of me. Tane, I will now call you Wolfgang Thrust.

  Here and there I simply need to surrender it all and turn into a good looking extremely rich person. Tane Sexpot!

  I need a six month holiday, twice a year. A human. Tane.

  There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.—totally tane

  A blind man walks into a bar And a chair and a table. , but not Tane

  I don’t always surf the Internet, but when I do, eyebrows! I Trust TANE.

  Yesterday, I changed my WiFi password to “Hackitifyoucan”; today, someone changed it to—mr Tane!

  “Challenge Accepted”. Thanks Sir Gent

  So, you’re on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer. I will travel with Tane!

  Real men don’t take selfies. You ARE Tane, after all.

  I haven’t done this in a while so excuse me. It’s all good Tane.

  I know I’m lucky that I’m so cute. You are cute too Tane.

  Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that. I’m Tane-dream.

  I’m your worst nightmare. Day dream with Tane.

  Hey girl, feel my sweater. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material. Boyfriend Tane Sauce.

  If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption. Caption my Tane.

  I think you are lacking vitamin me! Vitamin Tane!

  What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram. Diet Tane Number 7!

  Ladies, please. And some Tane on the side.

  Need an ark? I Noah guy. Tane’s Ark.

  One time I dreamed of Tane and I woke up soaking wet! Oh Tane.

  When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting “like” at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches. I “like” Tane.

  Say “Beer Can” with a British ac
cent. I just taught you to say “Bacon” with a Jamaican accent. Bacon-wrapped Tane!

  I don’t always study, but when I do, I don’t. Tane-Tutor!

  I’ll never try to fit in. I was born to STAND OUT. Like you, Awesome T-Man

  So you’re telling me I have a chance. Tane Says True.

  Walking past a class with your friends in it. Tane doesn’t care.

  I’m not saying it was aliens, but it was Aliens! , Tane

  Yea, dating is cool but have you ever had stuffed crust pizza? And so is Tane.

  Started from the bottom now we’re here. Listen up Gent Tane

  Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt. , Tane

  So, you’re on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer. And so is Tane.

  Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that. Listen up Gent Tane

  Women drivers rev my engine. Yes, you Tane,

  Oh you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram? Not like you are Big Gent.

  I liked memes before they were on Instagram You got that tanster?

  Friday, my second favorite F word. Yes, Tane-craft.

  If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend? Wait, Tane, this is Instagram! I’m too legit to quit you!

  I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me Except you, Tane

  Weekend, please don’t leave me. Tane doesn’t, though