The Fall: The Apocalypse Diaries

by Brock, Dianah

  It was a wonderful meal, but all I did was pick at it.

  “You have to eat something. You have to keep your strength up.” Randy said as he tried to convince me to eat.

  “I can’t eat. I am too upset.” I said as I moved the biscuit around my plate with my fork.

  “Don’t worry Amber. I am going to work something out. Jim is coming to sit with us in a minute. I have an idea.” Randy said.

  “You do? What is it?” I asked.

  “Yeah Randy, what’s the plan?” Tyler said.

  “You will all find out soon enough, but it involves that motorcycle sitting in the reception area.” Randy said.

  Just as Randy had said he would, Jim came over to sit with us. He sat his plate down on the table and took a seat. No one said anything for a moment.

  “Hey, I’m uh sorry about your village thing. If we had of thought about it before hand, we could have diverted the zombies in a different direction.” Jim said.

  Randy took this as his perfect opportunity to speak. He turned his attention to Jim.

  “Hey Jim, who’s motorcycle is that in the reception area?” Randy asked.

  “It’s Mark’s. He made a special trip to the Harley dealership a couple of exits up the interstate to get it.” Jim answered.

  “Do you think Mark would be up to a Road trip?” Randy asked.

  I was definitely interested in where Randy was going with this, but I was sure I had an idea of what at least some of his plan was.

  “I don’t know. He might. What did you have in mind?” Jim asked Randy.

  “Well, I was thinking that perhaps we could tell Mark how to get to the village and he could take that motorcycle in the morning and head toward the village.” Randy said.

  “What, like to warn ‘em?” Jim asked.

  “Yeah. It’s a lot of people, and probably the closest thing to an actual civilization that still exists. Amber has a lot of family there. Her father and mother just came back from being gone for seventeen months. She doesn’t need to lose them.”

  Randy spoke the truth. I didn’t want to lose my parents, and I didn’t want to lose them either. My brother Jarred had also come back. Even though we were not as close as Alex and I were, I still didn’t want anything to happen to him either.

  “That could work. The zombies will be far enough away from the hotel tomorrow morning that Mark could get out without a problem. How long is this drive to Adairsville?” Jim asked.

  “About twenty minutes or so up highway 41.”

  “That’s not too bad. How’s the roads?”

  “Pretty clear for trucks to get through. We came through with two box trucks just yesterday and made it in that time. With a motorcycle, Mark should be able to make excellent time.” Randy said.

  Jim sat there chewing on fried chicken for a few minutes. He looked as though he was deep in thought, like he had some big decision to make. I didn’t see where the decision required such contemplation. Of course, I was a bit biased as well. After all, it was my village that needed to be saved. Of course my decision would have been hasty and in favor of doing what I believed was the right thing.

  “So I suppose you wanna find a way to get back home as soon as possible huh?” Jim asked me.

  “Of course.” I replied.

  “We have to get home. We have a lot of people to save.” Tara said. I was surprised that she was even paying attention to the conversation. She wasn’t talking much and I didn’t think she even knew what we were talking about. Still, I thought again and realized that I should have known better. She is Pawpaw’s girl, and she would definitely be concerned about her grandfather.

  “Well, let me see if I can’t get you some help from our scout. Jay knows all the roads within 100 miles of here. He should be able to help find another route.” Jim said. I suddenly began to feel better. I even found myself taking a bite of my food as I watched Jim stand up and walk over to where Jay sat with Mark and Miranda.

  I turned my attention to Randy. I could kiss him right now for the effort he had put into coming up with a plan. So far, it sounded like a good one. I hadn’t realized I was smiling at him until he spoke to me.

  “What are you smiling about Amber?” Randy asked me.

  “You. I can’t believe you thought so hard to put a plan together.” I replied.

  “Well, those people are my family too Commander. I can’t leave them to slaughter by those flesh eating bastards. Something has to be done. Besides, I know how much it means to you, and I want you to be happy.”

  I knew what Randy meant by what he said. Sure, it seemed self-explanatory, but there was another meaning behind what Randy had said. He was telling me in his own way that he was in love with me, and he would do anything he had to do to make me happy. I wished I could do or say something to show him some appreciation, but how much was I willing to say or do? I didn’t want to be in a relationship, or at least, I didn’t think I did.

  I watched as Jim came back to our table, Jay followed directly behind him. I watched the two men as they pulled out chairs and took a seat.

  “So Jim here tells me that you wanna find a way to get back home.” Jay said as he scooted his chair closer to the table. I had just noticed that he had brought his slice of chocolate cake with him.

  “That’s right. Do you have any suggestions?” I asked.

  “Well, Highway 20 is pretty clear all the way to Canton. I suppose you could take the Highway and go the back way through Waleska and Fairmount.” Jay said as he placed a bite of cake in his mouth.

  “That seems like a long route.” Randy said.

  “Well it is, but it will get you there. It will take you about two hours dodging vehicles and all, but it can be done.” Jay answered taking another bite of cake into his mouth.

  I sat there thinking for a moment. It really was the long way around, but I didn’t see any other way. I went over the roads and streets in my mind, but I couldn’t think of another route to take. I had to admit that Jay was right, and that was the plan that needed to be put into action and followed.

  “Well, then I guess that’s the way we will go.” I said, looking at Randy.

  “That sounds like a plan to me too.” Randy said.

  Jim turned in his seat to face me.

  “Jay will go with you to give you an extra hand just in case the shit hit’s the fan.” Jim said.

  “That’s not necessary.” Randy answered. We all turned to look at him. Randy looked around at our gazes, and spoke again.

  “We always manage pretty well with what we have. We wouldn’t want to put Jay in danger of not being able to return. If that horde comes through the town, Jay could be stuck there for God only knows how long.” Randy added.

  I wasn’t sure if I was right or not, but it felt as though Randy was jealous of Jay. God I didn’t know why if that was the case. I had no interest in Jay what so ever. He was nowhere even close to my type. I hoped and prayed this wasn’t going to go any further. I actually thought that having another pair of hands for the journey would be a good thing. In the end, I was in charge. That is the way it has been since day one. I guess if I had to, I would pull rank on Randy. I just hoped it didn’t piss him off too bad.

  “I understand that we always make it Randy, but we are going into territory that we know absolutely nothing about. I think another pair of hands would be useful. Jay can bunk with us at the old school for a few days if need be.” I sat there and I waited for Randy’s response.

  “But they are going to be one man down with Mark gone to the village anyway. If Jay goes, then they are two men down for God only knows how long.” Randy said in protest.

  “That may be so, but if Jim is willing to be shorthanded just to ensure that the village is safe, and that the people we care about live through this, then I think we should be appreciative and take it.” I said.

  I turned my attention back to Jim.

  “The assistance of your men will be greatly appreciated Jim. Thank you.” I said matte
r-of-factly.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  That night as I lay in bed, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned back and forth in the bed, trying to fight to keep my eyes closed. I knew that I needed my rest if I was going to save my village, but I couldn’t make myself sleep no matter how hard I tried. All I could think about was the “what ifs” about my village. What if Mark didn’t make it there in time? What if something happened to him on the road? What if something happened to one or all of us on the road? What if another horde of zombies made it to the village before any of us could warn them?

  So many things rushed through my mind that I couldn’t stand the thought of closing my eyes. The covers felt as though they were suffocating me. I felt like I was being held down against my will. I couldn’t stand it. I kicked the covers off of me causing the sheets to rustle. I exhaled a sigh of annoyance and climbed out of bed. I grabbed my cigarettes and lighter from the table beside the sliding glass door that led out onto the balcony to the room that I shared with Tara. I removed a cigarette from the pack and placed it in my mouth. I lit the end, drawing in a deep breath filled with anxiety relieving smoke. I inhaled it deep into my lungs and held it as though I was smoking weed again.

  I exhaled as I looked across the parking lot into the night. There wasn’t anything moving in the distance that I could see. I could hear the two guards on the roof top laughing. I wished I had something to be happy about. I took another draw from my cigarette and exhaled. I rubbed my head. It was starting to hurt from all of the stress and worry.

  “You couldn’t sleep either huh?” I heard Randy say from the balcony beside me.

  “What do you have? ESP?” I said as I walked over to the brick wall that separated the two balconies.

  “When it comes to you I do.” Randy said, exhaling a draw from his own cigarette.

  “I am starting to believe you.” I said.

  “You should. I always know when something is wrong with you. I usually know what is wrong with you too.” Randy said with a sly grin. I did hate his slyness, but at the same time, it entertained me. After all, it was just who Randy was, and I loved him.

  Did I actually think that? I shook my head trying to figure out if I had actually told myself that I loved him. How did I love him? Like a brother? Like a friend? More than a friend? The questions flooded my mind so quick that I couldn’t make heads or tails of anything.

  I couldn’t focus my thoughts on Randy. Yes, I loved him, so what? There was nothing I could do about it. This wasn’t a day and age where love was beneficial to anyone. All love did was get you killed. I loved my kids, and that limited me a lot. I loved the people of my village, and that was putting Randy, my kids, and me in danger to get back to them.

  I didn’t need any more love compromising anything in my life. I pushed the thoughts away again for the millionth time in two days, and focused on more important things.

  “Do you think Mark will make it there in time Randy?” I asked with a heavy heart.

  “I think everything will be ok just so long as the roads are clear for him.”

  “Have we gone over the evacuation plan enough that Alex and the others can handle a quick relocation?”

  “Relax Amber. We have been over everything with a fine tooth comb. That is why our village survives. We think of everything.”

  “But do you think Alex will remember to lead a Raid team into the school to clear it before moving anyone in?”

  “Amber, stop driving yourself crazy.” Randy said.

  I couldn’t help myself. I was worried about my village and everyone in it. I couldn’t help but to go over these things in my mind over and over again.

  “God, can’t anyone get any sleep around here?” I heard Tara say as she came shuffling out of the sliding glass door.

  “Did we wake you baby?” I asked her.

  “Yeah, you and mister loud mouth. Couldn’t you have at least shut the door behind you? And that nasty cigarette smoke is blowing right in my face. You know I can’t stand it.” Tara complained. I smiled at her.

  “I’m sorry honey. Why don’t you go back inside and go to bed? You can close the door behind you. I know you are safe in there.” I said.

  Tara rubbed her eyes vigorously before answering.

  “Ok, but you two keep it down. We have to get up early tomorrow. You said so yourself, Mom.” Tara instructed.

  “We will be quieter. I promise.” I informed her before she went back inside, closing the door behind her.

  I turned my attention back to Randy.

  “I wonder if she is ever going to quit complaining.” I said.

  “Not as long as she is a teenager stuck in a zombie apocalypse.” Randy answered. I smiled at him.

  “I guess you are right. She has complained about something for seventeen months. Nothing is ever good enough for her.” I said.

  I watched as Randy placed his hands on the railing and threw his leg over it so that he was straddling the railing.

  “What are you doing?” I asked him.

  “I’m coming over there with you.”

  “Are you crazy? You could fall.” I said as I stepped back. Randy was now hanging on the railing and I watched as he maneuvered himself over to the balcony on my side of the brick wall. He strategically pulled himself up onto the railing and crossed over to where he was now standing in front of me.

  “Sometimes I think you are crazy.” I said as I smacked him on the shoulder.

  “Yeah I am, but at least I can’t get committed.” Randy said with that sly smile the drives me wild. I shook my head forcing the thoughts out.

  “So what did you want to come over here for?” I asked.

  “Just to be close to you.” Randy said. The mere words made me blush. I hoped that he didn’t notice it in the dark.

  Randy took a step closer to me. I wanted to move, but my feet wouldn’t cooperate with me. He gazed into my eyes, and it was suddenly harder for me to breathe. My heart was racing, much like it had the day before when Randy kissed me.

  I could smell the fresh clean scent of him where he had showered earlier. I smelled axe body wash, and probably cologne for all I knew. He smelled so damned good. My mouth was suddenly watering for him. Then of course there was that natural smell of masculinity, the natural sweat of the body that released pheromones into the air which traveled directly to my nose, igniting a fire in forbidden places within me.

  I stumbled back, feeling as though I would fall off of the face of the earth. Randy reached out to me, grabbing both of my elbows and pulling me into him in the most sensual of embraces I had felt in a long time.

  “Amber, why won’t you let me love you?” Randy whispered into my ear. The feeling of his breath on my skin covered my body in goose bumps. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to love him. I wanted him to love me. I did love him, but I couldn’t let it be known. There was too much danger, too many things to go wrong, too much to lose. Still, the feeling of him standing there holding me close, feeling his heart beating in tune with mine, I wanted to give in to him and tell him that I loved him. I wanted to tell him that it was ok to love me, and that is what I wanted him to do, but I just couldn’t. I wasn’t strong enough for that. I would never be strong enough for that.

  I quickly pulled away from him, struggling to catch my breath. I could see the look of disappointment on his face.

  “Randy...I...I can’t ever be with you. I only have room in my heart to love my children.” I said, hoping the explanation was good enough. Randy ran his hand through his hair.

  “That’s bull shit and you know it Amber. You have love for everyone in the village.” Randy said, definitely irritated.

  “Yes, and that includes you. Why can’t that be enough for you Randy?” I asked.

  “Because I love you more than just like I do the survivors at the village. I love every one of them, and I fight for their safety, but I am in love with you Amber. Why can’t you see that?” Randy commented with anger and pain in his voice.
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  “I do see that!” I yelled. I took another step back.

  “And you are going to stand there and tell me that you don’t feel the same way about me?” Randy said, closing the gap between us.

  I buried my face in my hands and tried to breath. This was the last thing I wanted to do tonight. Suddenly, lying in bed worried about my village while trapped by the covers would be better than fighting with Randy over love. This was not the day and age where love was acceptable anymore. Not that kind of love. How could I be lying in bed making love to him while hordes of the undead walked the streets outside of our windows, putting our village in danger every night? How could I be lost in bliss while that lurked outside of our doors? Let’s face it, this was not an era where intimacy was possible.

  Randy closed the gap between us, placing each of his hands on my shoulder.

  “I would do anything for you Amber, you know that. Hell, I have done anything for you. I have followed your every order since day one of this shit. I have let you lead me in everything.” Randy said, lowering his voice.

  “That’s what you were supposed to do to survive Randy. It had nothing to do with how you feel about me.” I replied.

  “I didn’t have to stay at that village. I didn’t have to stay with you. You know me. I could survive on my own. I didn’t have to be with you and the kids.”

  “Then why were you?”

  “Because I loved you before the world went to shit. Why do you think I was in that store every day after work?”

  “For citrus soda and honey buns.”

  Randy laughed.

  “I didn’t have to have that. Not to mention, there were several stores on my way home from work every day. I could have bought that anywhere. It was because of you Amber. I wanted to see you. I wanted to hear you talk, and watch you laugh. That’s why I was in that store every day.”

  I tried with everything in me to fight back the tears. I wanted to cry because somehow, his words were sweet to me. They brought out feelings within me that I wouldn’t allow myself to feel, and not because of the apocalypse either. It started way before that. I wouldn’t let myself love anyone since my husband died tragically in a car accident. It nearly killed me, and I don’t think I could handle losing anyone else again.