Joke

by Mia Malone

  He pulled out slowly, adjusted our clothes and then we went back to the dock to have a few drinks there with our friends. Feeling mellow and not one bit embarrassed about what we’d just done.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sissy

  Jenny took one look at Lee and me and then she hissed.

  I bugged my eyes out at Lee, and when Jenny walked away, waving her hand to indicate we were to follow her, we did.

  “You did it,” she said.

  “Did what?” I asked slowly although I knew what she meant.

  “You had a threesome. Foursome. Somethingsome.”

  “Um,” I mumbled.

  “I guess you could call it a somethingsome,” Lee said calmly. “Why are you pissed, Jenny?”

  Jenny watched Lee for a while and then her anger seemed to drain away.

  “I want to be this cool, sexy woman in the prime of her life who does crazy shit and has whateversomes and explores her sexual boundaries. And I’m not.” She paused and added with considerable emphasis, “Not at all.”

  “Okay,” Lee said and waited for her to continue.

  “I just want to go home with Paddy. Have normal sex in a normal bed like normal goddamned people. I don’t want anyone to touch anything or see my tits flapping around or whatever it is you do.”

  I couldn’t hold a surprised chuckle back.

  “You’re a runner, never breastfed anyone. I’m pretty sure nothing is flapping around, Jenny,” I said.

  “I’m fifty-one,” she retorted. “Saddlebags.”

  I was going to say something as soon as I figured something out but Lee was quicker.

  “Okay. I’m gonna be a bit blunt, and you need to forget that the two women standing in front of you and your brother were three of the four people I’m talking about.”

  “Huh,” Jenny wheezed out.

  “Joke and Sissy did it in the lake. Gib and I did it in the chair Paddy is sitting in right now. I didn’t see anything but shoulders. Sissy and Joke would have seen my knees at the most.”

  “And Gibson’s chest,” I added in the interest of clarity. “He has a great chest.”

  “That he does,” Lee agreed and turned to Jenny.

  “So, it really is a somethingsome mostly involving voyeurism and a lot of love, but it doesn’t really matter. If you don’t want to do something like it, then Jenny; Just don’t.”

  Jenny stared at her for a while, but then a small grin slowly spread on her face.

  “The chair Paddy is sitting in?”

  Lee nodded, and I could tell that she wanted to laugh. I wanted to laugh too.

  “Paddy is a bit uptight, isn’t he?” I said with a smirk

  “He’s not gonna want someone seeing his things flapping around either,” Lee agreed.

  Jenny’s mouth fell open, and she swung around toward the others, muttering, “Fuck you.”

  I heard laughter in her voice though, and she couldn’t hold it back, so we were giggling when we reached the men.

  “Paddy, honey,” Jenny said. “You’re gonna want to sit here with me.”

  “What?” Paddy said, leaned back and wiggled his behind. “Snagged this chair. Fucking fantastic.”

  “It is,” Gibson agreed calmly.

  Paddy had known Gibson a long time, and he knew what that voice meant, so he got out of the chair with a sigh and reached for a beer.

  “Jesus,” he muttered and sat down on the blanket Jenny had spread out on the ground, pouting slightly which would have looked ridiculous on anyone not looking like him.

  Then Day and Mac arrived, and more beer and wine was brought out. It had been a warm and dry summer, so we weren’t starting a fire and had instead brought cold cuts and salad from home, and Lee had brought some of her cupcakes. It was such a nice evening, and as I sat there looking at the group around me, my eyes met Joke’s.

  He looked happy, and I couldn’t stop myself from winking which was a cheesy thing to do, but when I saw his lips twitch, I didn’t care.

  “So, Sissy,” Paddy said lazily. “Skiing, biker-dad, college, family, kindergarten. Anything else that’s gonna pop up or can I relax now?”

  “That’s pretty much it,” I said, but grinned and added, “Or, yeah, I had a fun job before college that might surprise you.”

  Both Jenny and Lee started giggling, and Paddy’s brow went up.

  “What?”

  “Don’t worry, Pad,” Lee said. “It was a long time ago, so I don’t think she’ll try to convince Joke to turn Oak into a strip club.”

  “You worked in a strip club?” Paddy echoed.

  “Sure did,” I said.

  We’d spoken quietly, so the others probably hadn’t heard, but I laughed into Joke’s eyes as if he had.

  “Huh.”

  That hadn’t sounded like a happy reply from Paddy. It had sounded like a condescending reply.

  “What?” Lee asked angrily, and my eyes flew back to them.

  “Nothing,” Paddy said. “Guess it explains…”

  His eyes moved from me to Gibson and back again.

  My heart was suddenly beating too hard, and my gut felt cold. What we’d done before they arrived seemed less happy, and a lot dirtier than it had been.

  “Paddy,” Jenny snapped. “Not okay.”

  “What?” he said, trying to back away from what he’d said and done.

  “It’s okay,” I murmured. “Forget it. I… Just forget it, okay.”

  I looked away, and my eyes landed on our car. I suddenly wanted to go back to our place above Oak and curl up in bed.

  “What’s going on?” Gibson asked, watching Lee intently.

  “Forget it,” I whispered.

  We’d been so happy, and I‘d overreacted, making it all into a big deal.

  “Paddy is being such an ass, Gib,” Lee said, loudly and angrily.

  “Forget it,” I pleaded again. “Please. We’ll just…”

  My eyes caught sight of the car again, and if I’d had the keys, I would have lit out of there immediately.

  “What did he say to you, baby?”

  Joke was crouched down in front of me, and I shook my head slightly.

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Ten seconds ago you were laughing that fucking beautiful way only you do, and now you’re looking at the car like you want to get in it and leave. So, it’s something.”

  “Paddy,” Gibson snarled. “Start talking.”

  ***

  Joke

  He’d seen on his sister’s face that she knew what they’d done, but he also saw how she was laughing with Sissy and Lee, so she seemed fine with it, which was good because he wasn’t going to fucking talk to her about it. Then Mac and Day arrived, they had dinner, and the mood had been great. Greater than great, and then Sissy did that silly wink, and he wondered if it wouldn’t perhaps be in order to announce that they would take a short walk to look at the moonlight or whatever the hell.

  Mac said something, so he looked away, and then Lee’s angry voice echoed over the crowd.

  “Paddy is being such an ass, Gib,” she snapped.

  Joke got to his feet immediately. Not because Paddy had been an ass, which was something they all were at one point or the other, women and men alike. It usually didn’t mean anything.

  He got up because Sissy looked like someone had slapped her. She tried to cover it up, but her eyes slid to the car and fuck it. Stupid shit they all said usually didn’t mean anything but this time it did.

  “What did he say to you, baby?”

  She shook her head and swallowed, and fucking hell, her eyes slid to the car again.

  He tried to get her to say what was wrong and Gibson was in Paddy’s face, snarling in a way that meant a fight was imminent. Everyone was at their feet except the two of them, and he kept looking at her. Then she sighed.

  “We were joking about the strip-joint I worked in before college. He,” she swallowed, but went on quietly, “He looked at me, and then at Gibson, and said
that my job there explained why we’re…”

  She trailed off, and Joke tried to stay calm. There was a soft buzz in his ears, and he bit his teeth together so hard it hurt.

  “Fucking asshole.”

  The voice cut through the silence, and it was so cold Joke whipped around. He saw to his surprise how Mac raised a fist and slammed it right into Paddy’s face. Paddy went down, and Mac followed him, put a knee in his chest and snarled in his face.

  “Get a fucking grip, man.”

  Then he got up and made a visible effort to calm down.

  Everyone had frozen and stared at him.

  “I’m so sorry, Sissy,” Mac said gently, but his voice hardened as he spoke. “It’s not who we are. It’s not who Paddy is either. Don’t know why he’s such an ass but I know one thing. We’ve always been open about whatever the hell we do, and nothing we’ve done has ever been scorned or made ugly. If that isn’t how we do shit anymore, then I’m out.”

  He turned away from the others abruptly and walked down toward the lake to stare out over it, rubbing his neck slowly with one hand. Joke walked over to lean over Paddy who was sitting with his legs bent, and his head leaned down between his knees.

  “She was the fucking bartender,” Joke growled, trying his best to not roar out his anger.

  Paddy’s head came up, and there was pain in his eyes, but Joke did not care because the pain in Sissy’s mattered more.

  “Mac is right, you’re a fucking asshole. You do not get to treat my woman like she’s some goddamned whore.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” Paddy protested angrily. “I’ll –”

  “You have got to stop clutching your fucking pearls, Paddy,” Joke snarled.

  “I don’t –”

  “Yes you do,” Jenny said quietly.

  She sounded sad and a little resigned, but she straightened her back and walked over to Sissy and put an arm around her waist.

  “Jenny, there’s no need to –” Sissy murmured.

  “Yes, there is. You’ve done nothing wrong. He needs to stop acting as if you’re freaks. I don’t know why he does it and I can only apologize –”

  “Jen, don’t,” Paddy said and stood up. “Don’t apologize for me.”

  “Don’t do shit that forces me to,” Jenny said.

  “It’s just –” Paddy pulled a hand over his hair and sighed. “I don’t get it,” he mumbled.

  “Do you have to?” Gibson asked quietly. “I don’t think much about what you and Jen do. Heard you when we’ve been camping which I didn’t enjoy as much as your dirty imagination will have it. Joke didn’t fucking enjoy it at all. So why are you so damned fucked up about us?”

  Joke looked at Sissy, and to his surprise, she studied Paddy with narrowed eyes. Then she suddenly took two steps forward and put a hand on Paddy’s chest.

  “She doesn’t want it either,” she whispered.

  Jokes brows went up, and he heard Jenny make a hoarse sound, but everyone else was stunned into silence.

  “What if –”

  Sissy cut Paddy off immediately.

  “She wants to go home with you and have normal sex in a normal bed like normal middle-aged people.”

  Their eyes locked and for a long time, no one said anything. Jesus, Joke thought. Was that was this was about? Had Paddy had himself a small bout of performance anxiety for no good reason at all?

  “I’m so sorry, Sissy,” Paddy pressed out finally. “Assholey thing to do.”

  “It’s okay, we –”

  “No it’s not okay,” Paddy snarled, turned away from her and raised his hands in a frustrated gesture. “What the fuck is this?”

  No one answered his question, probably since no one knew what the hell he was talking about.

  “Padraig,” Jenny murmured, which Paddy didn’t seem to hear.

  “It was supposed to be smooth, and I was supposed to be settled into goddamned middle-aged fucking bliss. It was supposed to be done. Solved. Fixed. Happily fucking ever after.”

  “What?” Jenny gasped.

  Joke felt like laughing suddenly and looked at Sissy. She was looking down on the ground and had closed her lips firmly, but her shoulders shook.

  “I wasn’t supposed to behave like an asshole,” Paddy snarled and turned to look at the group now staring at him. “And I never expected to be worried that I’d have to do shit I have no desire to do in front of people I’ve known my whole life.” He waved his index finger, and it looked like he was trying to point at Gibson. “Some who have bigger dicks than me, I might add.”

  Yeah. He had probably pointed at Gibson. And he’d totally had performance –

  “Are you fucking laughing at me?” Paddy snapped at what might possibly be the universe.

  There was another short silence, and then Mac raised his hand.

  “I am.”

  “Yeah,” Lee said quietly. “Me too.”

  “Sissy?” Paddy asked, and to Joke’s relief, his voice was suddenly a soft murmur.

  “Gib has a bigger dick than you?” Sissy asked.

  Joke heard the laughter in her voice and felt himself relax.

  “You don’t know?” Paddy asked.

  “No, I don’t know,” Sissy squealed. “I haven’t seen it, and I don’t wanna see yours so I’ll totally take your word for it. And if you’ve measured them, I do not want to know that either.”

  Paddy opened his mouth, closed it with a snap, and then the tips of his lips started quivering.

  “‘God, I really am sorry, Sissy,” he said quietly and turned to Lee. “Consider my pearls unclutched and please forgive me.”

  Before either of the now openly grinning women could say a single word, Jenny took a step forward.

  “Happily fucking ever after?” she asked silkily.

  “Uh,” Paddy said, looking like the fool he’d been. “Happily fucking… ever after?” he tried.

  Joke felt his belly shake a little because that had actually been a very nice catch.

  They stared at each other and Joke knew exactly how stubborn his sister could be so he bent down and got his beer, settling in to enjoy a long stare down. Jenny would win, but Pad would give her a good fight.

  “I told you Paddy wouldn’t want anyone seeing his things flapping around,” Lee suddenly whispered loudly.

  “You were right about that,” Sissy said and raised her glass of wine.

  Her eyes met his and Joke sighed. Crazy goddamned women, but their way of handling shit had cut through the stare down.

  “I’m sorry, Jen,” Paddy said. “We’ll totally do it in a middle-aged way. Promise.”

  Jenny’s smile was more of a smirk than Joke cared to think about and he turned away so he wouldn’t have to see it.

  “Not sure the kitchen island fits into the middle-aged category,” Day said. “What?” he added innocently. “Didn’t I tell you? I walked in on them in flagrante delicto.”

  “In flagr –”

  “Doing it.”

  “Ah.”

  “Bet that was fun. Anyone wants a cupcake?”

  “I think maybe we should have just a tiny bit of tequila instead.”

  “God, yes. I’ll bring the glasses.”

  “Who wants beer?”

  “I’m drinking wine.”

  “Fucking pussy.”

  Joke watched the group in front of him as they moved around, calm and relaxed again. He heard their easy banter, but also saw the quick glances, a hand touching someone’s shoulder gently, and a soft nudge with an elbow. The subtle things that told everyone that who they were would hold even when the ground shook a little under their feet. His eyes met Sissy’s, she winked in that silly way again, and his chest tightened when she grinned at him.

  “We good?” Paddy asked him quietly.

  “Yeah,” Joke said. “We’re good.”

  Paddy nodded and walked toward the lake, pulling at his tee.

  “I’m going for a swim,” he called out.

  Well
shit.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t,” Joke called after him and Paddy froze.

  Then he kept walking, threw the tee to the side and started working on his belt.

  “It’s a big lake.”

  ***

  Joke and Jenny worked out an agreement with the Hayden family. They had apparently saved up for quite a few years already so they immediately bought the third Joke had gotten from his father, and would over the years gradually take over the rest.

  “You’re happy with the deal?” Joke asked when they were in the car heading back into town.

  “Yeah,” she said.

  “Don’t look happy.”

  “It’s not that. It’s…” She pointed to the side of the road and sighed. “Joanie.”

  “I know,” Joke said.

  They still hadn’t found the woman and probably never would, which was worse for her family. It would be easier with a body to bury.

  “Why would she be out here?”

  “Who knows,” Joke said. “Gonna sound callous maybe, but I hope it was quick.”

  “Yeah,” Jenny said. “I hope so too. Dying quickly isn’t callous, Joke. It means less pain.”

  They sat in silence for a while and then Jenny turned.

  “Can we stop for a while?”

  Joke slowed down and stopped by the side of the road.

  “I know what Dad told you. About when you were sick and how you ended up...”

  “Sterile,” he filled in calmly. “Guessed they’d tell you. Sissy?”

  “Dad told me,” Jenny said quietly.

  “Ah, Jen. You don’t have to talk to him. Just don’t pick up the phone when he calls. I don’t.”

  “I don’t either. He used Mom’s phone.”

  “Don’t pick up when she calls either,” Joke muttered. “What did he want? Money?”

  “No. I think he just wanted to spew because you hadn’t seemed to care when he told you. He thought I might.”

  “Asshole.”

  There really wasn’t much more to say.

  “Do you care?” Jenny asked quietly.

  He’d thought about that since Sissy asked the same thing.

  “You know…” he said slowly. “If I’d found out when I was seventeen, or whatever, thirty-something. I don’t know. I probably would have cared. Would have been pissed, at least. Now?” He sighed. “I don’t know. It wouldn’t happen even if I’d had the ability to get someone pregnant. So does that piece of knowledge change anything in my life, the one I have right now?” He looked at her and answered his own question. “Not really. So, no. I don’t care that much actually.”