Invisible

by DelSheree Gladden

  Part of me wants to pull away from Robin. The anxiety her smile and closeness inspires is intimidating. I’m not sure what to do with it. She’s probably waiting for a response, but I’m not sure what she expects me to say.

  “I know I’m kind of a spaz,” Robin says, lowering her eyes, “and I blurt out things I shouldn’t, so I can understand if hanging out with me feels weird …”

  “Robin, it’s not any of that. I mean, you are a spaz and you talk a lot,” I say, pausing and smiling so she knows I don’t hold any of that against her. “You don’t make me feel weird about being here. It’s just strange to think that you can see me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t know you that well. Seeing me has always felt like such an intimate thing, something personal and private. No offense, but you’re still kind of a stranger, and even though I love that you can see me, it takes some getting used to.”

  I look over at her, hoping I haven’t hurt her feelings and wondering if what I just told her makes sense. She grins back at me and pokes me lightly.

  “There’s a simple solution to this.”

  Raising one eyebrow at her, I wait for an explanation.

  Laughing, she says, “You just have to get to know me better. Starting now. Ask me whatever you want.”

  Not nearly distracted enough by the unique situation to miss an opportunity for answers, I know jumping into the big questions right away will only scare her off. So I start small.

  “Where did you grow up?”

  “Pennsylvania.”

  “Did you like it there?”

  Robin nods. “It was so pretty and we had all this land to explore. I loved it there.”

  “Why did you move?”

  The cheeriness drops out of Robin’s expression immediately. “We had no choice,” she whispers.

  For a moment, I hesitate asking a new question. Robin turns to look up at the clouds, but I know what she’s really doing is trying to keep the tears brimming in her eyes from falling down her cheeks. I don’t doubt that Robin’s guilt has something to do with Eliana’s death. Suspecting her of being the deliberate cause… I seriously doubt it.

  Scooting closer to Robin, I set my hand on her forearm. “What happened?”

  “After …” Robin sniffs, but turns to look at me. “After Eliana died we couldn’t stay where we were anymore. The Sentinels knew where we lived. We had to cut off all contact with other Caretakers for over a year.”

  “Why?” I ask. “Aside from hoping you’d lead them to other Caretakers, I mean. Did they think you might take in another Aerling?”

  The expression on Robin’s face is quizzical for a moment. Then, for some reason it turns into frustration. She doesn’t let me wonder why. “Mason, I know I don’t know your Caretakers, but I don’t understand why they’ve kept you in the dark about so much. They’ve kept you from making friends, from exploring your abilities, from knowing who you are. Why would they want to limit you so much?”

  “What do you mean exploring my abilities? Olivia’s parents have never held me back from learning and developing skills.”

  I watch as Robin’s eyes go from mild frustration to full on anger. “They never told you?”

  “Uh, told me what?”

  “About your talents!”

  “What talents?”

  Robin sits up on the grass with her feet crossed and yanks me up next to her. “Haven’t you ever been able to do something unusual, out of the ordinary?”

  “You mean aside from being invisible?” I drawl.

  Rolling her eyes, Robin slaps my knee. “I mean something more than that. It could be knowing what someone is about to say before they say it, guessing the weather, sensing someone’s emotions, strange dreams …”

  “Dreams?” I practically demand.

  Robin stares at me. “Do you have dreams that don’t seem like dreams?”

  “I… maybe, I’m not sure.”

  “What are they like?”

  A shiver runs through my body. “Terrifying. I have nightmares all the time. They feel so real. I wake up screaming sometimes.”

  “What are the dreams about?” Robin asks.

  I freeze, suddenly wanting to kick myself for bringing it up. “I, uh, they’re just… nightmares. Bad things happening to me or my family.”

  “Have any of your dreams ever come true before?”

  “What?” I snap. “No, and I hope they never do.”

  Robin holds up her hands. “It was just a question, Mason. I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I’m just surprised you haven’t had any other talents manifest that you’re aware of.”

  “Why? Do all Aerlings have talents?”

  “Well, yeah, and they usually show up pretty early, like by three or four years old.”

  Feeling more than just uncomfortable, I try to shrug off the conversation. “Maybe I’m just not all that talented.”

  Or maybe watching my family die killed that part of me.

  Pouting, Robin folds her arms. “This doesn’t make sense. You have to have a talent.”

  “What was Eliana’s talent?” Anything to get the focus of the conversation off of me.

  “She could talk to me without speaking,” Robin says, a bit of her smile reappearing. “She couldn’t talk to anyone who wasn’t a Caretaker, but it was a fun talent.”

  Why couldn’t I have had that talent? Maybe I could have figured out how to talk to Olivia’s mom and dad and Evie without having to touch them every time I needed to say something. No, I get nightmares instead. That’s not even a talent. It just sucks.

  “Robin,” I ask slowly, “how did Eliana die? How did the Sentinels find her?”

  Her smile drops away immediately. “That’s not something I want to talk about, Mason.”

  And to really make her point, she starts tossing her books and papers back into her backpack. I panic, knowing I should have been more subtle, but just not having the patience for it. I grab Robin’s arm and pull her away from her bag. For a moment, fear flashes through her eyes. Guilt for being so rough with her loosens my grip, but not enough for her to get away.

  “Robin, please. I need to know if I’m putting Olivia and everyone else in danger.”

  “You aren’t,” she says as she tries to pull away from me.

  “How do you know?” I demand.

  Her struggle to get away from me falters. Whatever the source of the pain Robin is holding onto, she recognizes the same in me and stops fighting. Her frantic expression softens into one of understanding. I don’t realize I’m still gripping her arm until she brings her hand up to rest on my face.

  “Mason, I can’t promise you that the Sentinels will never find you. I wish I could,” she says, “but you’re doing everything you can to keep your family safe. You don’t make scenes that cause suspicion or draw attention. Olivia and Evie are just as careful, protecting you every second. I can see how much you love each other. You would never do anything to put them in danger, and neither would they. It’s the best anyone can do.” 

  A tear slips past Robin’s control. I don’t know why, but I release my grip on her arm and brush away her tears. When Robin’s head drops, I push her chin back up. As if she thinks I can see something more than her pain-filled expression, her body convulses in a sob. Instinct pulls her into my lap and I hold her as she cries.

  “You and Olivia are so blessed to have each other,” Robin says through her tears. “I wish… I wish Eliana had been so lucky. Instead, she ended up with me.”

  “Robin, what happened?” I ask.

  Pushing away from me, Robin swipes at her tears. “I have to go, Mason.”

  She reaches for her backpack and stumbles to her feet. I am right behind her. I don’t want to scare her or hurt her, but I need to know everything. I need to be sure that Olivia will be safe. My hand reaches for her arm again. She’s too quick, and I end up hooking her waist instead. She gasps when I pull her bac
k to me.

  “Please,” I beg.

  Robin’s palms press against my chest, as if she’s trying to get away again, but there is no force behind it. Finally, her head falls against my shoulder. She doesn’t look at me when she begins to speak.

  “Everyone was telling secrets. It was my first sleepover. I was seven and I wanted everyone to like me. I waited my turn, listening to the other girls tell about watching a movie they weren’t supposed to or getting into their sister’s makeup. It all sounded so silly when I was keeping a secret like Eliana. I knew I had the best secret, but the others got bored of the game before it was my turn. They all started to turn away and I was forgotten. It was the first time I had been invited to someone’s party. No one ever paid attention to me or even liked me. I just wanted them to think I was interesting… so I told them about Eliana.”

  “What did they say?” I ask.

  “Everyone laughed at me,” Robin whispers, “except for one girl I didn’t know very well. She just stared at me. She stared at me all night. I should have realized.”

  Robin sobs again and I hold her more tightly.

  “The Sentinels came for Eliana the next night while we were in bed. Nobody knew they were in our house until Eliana screamed, but by then it was already over.” Robin’s body starts shaking. “There was so much blood. She was right next to me in bed and I didn’t protect her. I told her secret and I slept while they murdered her.”

  I can’t speak, or move. I can’t respond at all. I want to tell Robin that I understand what she’s feeling, that I carry similar guilt and horrible memories. I want to tell her that my mom and sister were murdered right in front of me as I cried in the corner because I didn’t know what to do. I want to tell her everything and cry until every bloody memory is washed away. I want to share my pain with her and share hers, but I can’t. I don’t say anything. I keep the agony I hold close deep inside my heart and stroke her hair as I struggle to keep my own secrets.

  “I’m sorry,” Robin mumbles against my shirt when her tears finally calm.

  “Sorry for what? You were only seven, Robin.”

  She shakes her head. “No, I can never be forgiven for that. I meant that I’m sorry for ever coming into your life. If that guy was a Sentinel, it has to be my fault that he’s here.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Nobody else even knows you’re here.”

  “There’s nothing to say that anything has changed,” I argue, praying I’m right. “More likely than not, with your family having just moved, the Sentinels are just checking up on you.”

  Robin is quiet for a moment. She wants to believe that as much as I do. Bringing her gaze up to meet mine, Robin says, “I won’t make the same mistake twice, but if you don’t want me to hang around you and Olivia anymore, I understand.”

  Olivia and I might have different opinions on this, but I smile down at Robin. “I don’t want to lose my only non-family friend just yet.”

  “Are you sure?” The expression on her face makes it apparent she thinks I might be making a mistake. Despite Olivia’s misgivings, I trust Robin.

  “I’m sure.”

  Robin has a knack for catching people off guard, but I’m shocked when she lifts onto her toes, kisses my cheek, and spins out of my arms. She has her backpack and is halfway to her car before I snap out of it. I watch her drive away wondering what just happened.