by Shea Balik
“Will you have dinner with me?” The deep tone of Aidan’s voice seeped over him like warm honey. It took several moments for the question to pierce through the fog that seemed to surround his mind and enthrall him.
When it did, the cold reality of the situation crashed into him. “Aren’t you here with Parker?”
Aidan shrugged. “Yeah.”
Anger boiled to the surface. The angry tapping of Jesse’s boots as the man headed their way was enough to pull him out of whatever spell he’d been under. Indignant, Zane narrowed his gaze at Aidan and stepped back until his back hit the wall of the entryway. “How dare you ask me out while you’re on a date with another man?”
Refusing to listen to anything more Aidan had to say, Zane pushed open the door and stormed out. Jesse was right behind him, muttering under his breath about stubborn rednecks.
Zane couldn’t believe he had almost fallen for the man’s act. He was such an idiot.
CHAPTER 10
On the way home, neither of them talked. Each just fumed silently. Well, Zane was silent while Jesse kept up his tirade, but most of what he said were either swear words or too incoherent for Zane to make out.
Jesse slammed the door behind him when they arrived home, stomping his way to the cabinet with the liquor. Not even bothering to grab a glass, he opened the tequila they used to make margaritas and took a drink right from the bottle before handing it to Zane.
Drowning his problems in alcohol probably wasn’t the way to go, but Zane didn’t give a fuck as he tipped back the bottle and took a swig. His throat burned as the liquid slid down and ignited his stomach. He’d skipped lunch when the shop had gotten an unexpected rush, allowing the alcohol to start working it's magic immediately.
Ethan walked into the kitchen. When Zane passed the bottle back to Jesse, who took another long drink, Ethan grabbed it, the margarita mix, and limes then made a large pitcher of margaritas.
While he mixed up the first pitcher, which barely filled the large plastic tumblers Jesse pulled out of the cupboard, Ethan asked them, “Want to tell me about it?”
Zane didn’t. As mad as Zane was at what Aidan had done, he knew it was all his fault. He had no one to blame but himself for what happened and getting mad at Aidan wasn’t going to change anything. Neither would drinking, but he drank half his glass in one gulp anyway.
“Stupid, fucking rednecks and their inability to just be themselves,” Jesse said, then gulped down half his glass, too.
When Ethan finished making a second pitcher, Zane filled his glass to the brim. He held it up to silently ask if Jesse wanted to top his off and his friend pushed his cup across the counter to him.
Ethan sighed and quickly poured more ingredients into the pitcher or they’d have run out before they even sat down. When he was done, as one they went into the living room and sank on their large sectional couch. Zane had noticed Ethan had kept the pitcher close, but he didn’t give a fuck. At the rate he was drinking, it would make more sense if Ethan poured anyway.
“I take it things with Parker and Aidan aren’t going well,” Ethan said.
Zane let out a snort, but he wasn’t nearly drunk enough to talk about that lowlife Aidan.
Jesse, on the other hand, didn’t have that problem. “I don’t get it,” Jesse wailed. “What’s wrong with me that Parker won’t even acknowledge my existence most days?”
“He’s scared,” Zane defended before he could think twice. Jesse needed him to be on his side, but it was difficult since Zane was doing the same thing Parker was, running scared.
Jesse scowled. “Then why was he on a date with Aidan?”
Ethan, who had just taken a sip of his drink, sprayed it all over himself. Then he started sputtering and coughing. Zane and Jesse slapped him on the back in an effort to help, but he figured they were only making it worse when Ethan jumped up off the couch to catch his breath.
“I appreciate the help, but let’s not forget, I’m still sore.” Ethan’s words reminded Zane and Jesse that although most of the bruises had faded, there were still remnants in certain areas.
“Sorry,” they both mumbled. As if they had the same brain, which they might after they’d finished another glass, Zane and Jesse reached for the pitcher.
Ethan was faster, bless his soul. For Zane could swear he had grabbed for the handle, but it wasn’t where he thought it would be. Zane stared at his half-filled glass and frowned. Shouldn’t it have been full?
“Hey,” Jesse complained. “You didn’t fill mine.” Jesse pushed his glass toward Ethan, who reluctantly filled it, then Zane’s, as he had his glass out toward his friend, too.
“You two don’t honestly believe Parker and Aidan were on a date, do you?” Ethan finally said after he’d once more sat down between them.
Zane glanced Jesse’s way, who was looking at him with his eyebrows pulled together. Now that Ethan said it, Zane wasn’t quite sure what to believe.
“But bar together.” Jesse frowned as he realized that didn’t make sense. Then he shook his head and said, “They were hand on his back.”
Zane started to giggle.
Jesse shook his head again, this time harder, as if he were trying to get his brain back online. Unfortunately, his cup was still in his hand and the margarita arced up out of his cup and went flying. Most of it spilled onto Jesse, who stared at the wet spot on his pants and said, “Did I just come? Because if I did, I’m drunker than I thought.”
That had both Zane and Ethan holding onto each other as they laughed their heads off. Tears were streaming down Zane’s face as Ethan finally managed to get up to get a towel. Once the couch was clean and Jesse had stripped off his wet clothes, which unfortunately included the skimpy strip of cloth he called underwear, they all drained what was left of their drinks.
“Dude,” Ethan said when Jesse held out his glass for a refill. “The only way I’m giving you more is if you go put pants on.”
“Bitch,” Jesse grumbled, but grudgingly rolled off the couch and somehow managed to stand. Three steps later, he tripped over nothing and would have face-planted on the floor if Ethan hadn’t have already been up to go make another pitcher of margaritas and caught him.
Once Ethan had Jesse in the hallway where, hopefully, he would only bang into the walls, Ethan went into the kitchen. Deciding it would be best to grab some food, Zane stumbled in after him and pulled out a couple of bags of chips.
“I take it seeing Aidan with Parker had you thinking you’d made a mistake staying away from him.” Ethan didn’t exactly ask, so Zane didn’t feel it necessary to answer.
Yet, despite thinking that, he found his mouth moving and sound coming out anyway. “Do you know he asked me out while on his date?”
Ethan rolled his eyes. Not as well as Jesse, but few could compete with the vivacious man. “There is no way you could convince me those two were on a date.”
Zane stared at him. Partly because he’d already forgotten what they were talking about. But mostly because he didn’t want to talk about it.
Deciding bowls for the chips were overrated, he took the bags back into the living room. When he sat down, he tried to open the tortilla bag, but the stupid thing refused to cooperate.
Ethan came in with another full pitcher. Chuckling, he set it down. Zane wasn’t so sure what his friend felt was so damn funny, but he was too busy to worry about it as he struggled to open the stubborn bag.
The next thing he knew, Ethan plucked the chip clip from the top of the bag. Zane stared as the opening unrolled, allowing him to put his hand in. Huh. Who would have thought?
“I’m not sure either of you need any more alcohol,” Ethan said as Jesse, who had put on a pair of underwear backwards, bounced against the hallway walls as he came toward them. Ethan backed up and helped Jesse to the couch.
“I’m fine.” Jesse tried to bat Ethan’s hands away, but that only caused Jesse to spin and tilt sideways, nearly crashing into the TV. “Okay, maybe you could help.”
<
br /> Ethan let out a snort. “And maybe you two should go to bed.”
“Bed sucks,” Jesse pouted. “It’s too lonely.”
Zane agreed. Now that he’d lost his chance with Aidan, he wanted the man to hold him all night long.
Jesse reached for the pitcher, but Ethan managed to grab it first. Filling their glasses once more, Ethan sighed. “You two are going to regret this tomorrow.”
“Not if I’m too drunk to remember tomorrow,” Jesse told him.
That had Zane laughing. In the past, they’d tried that several times. It never worked.
“Men suck,” Zane blurted out. “How many times have we had nights like this because of a man?”
“Too many to count,” Ethan responded.
“Yeah, but this time is different.” Those tears of Jesse’s were back. He had really fallen in love with Parker even though the man had never once encouraged him.
“I even told him I’d see him without anyone ever knowing. I can be discrete if I have to.” Jesse gave a nod as if that made it a fact.
Both Ethan and Zane had to bite their lips to stop from calling ‘bullshit’. Only because that would be a terrible thing to say at time like this did they hold back.
“Not that I should have to,” Jesse told them. “I mean, most of Cedar Falls has accepted me and I wear makeup and platform boots, for fuck’s sake.”
Zane had to admit he’d been somewhat surprised at how accepting Cedar Falls had been. Oh, there were still some who felt they needed to tell Zane and his friends they were going to burn in hell for their sins, but overall, the residents had welcomed them.
“Yeah, but Parker has never been very outgoing.” Even in high school, Parker had tried to be invisible.
“He didn’t seem to have any trouble going on date with Aidan,” Jesse groused.
Ethan threw up his hands. “Really? You two really think those two were on a date?”
Both Jesse and Zane nodded emphatically. Hell, Aidan had put his hand on Parker’s lower back. That was a date move. Friends didn’t normally do that sort of thing.
“Fine,” Ethan turned to Jesse. “Then what did Parker say when you confronted him about being on a date?”
“Bastard told me to mind my own business.” Jesse drained his margarita. “Asshole.”
Even though anger still kept Jesse going, Zane knew that once the anger faded, his friend would have a broken heart and that was something that would be hard on all of them.
It was nearly four in the morning when they crawled into their beds. But before falling asleep Zane did what he thought he’d never do — he texted Megan, Kevin, and his third employee, Brenna, and told them to stay home, he wouldn’t be opening the bakery in the morning.
CHAPTER 11
Aidan cursed when he saw the closed sign on the bakery the next morning. After Zane had stormed out of the pub, Aidan had gone back to the bar to find out if Parker understood any of what was going on. Apparently, Zane and Jesse thought he and Parker were there on a date.
Bram, the pub owner, thought it was hilarious and laughed his ass off, but Aidan wasn’t laughing. He was actually upset with Zane for thinking he’d be on a date with one man while hitting on another. Okay, granted, Zane didn’t really know Aidan that well, but that wasn’t Aidan’s fault.
That was why early the next morning he stopped by the bakery only to find it closed. How in the hell was he supposed to talk to Zane and explain things if the man continued to hide from him? Maybe he should stop pursuing Zane and find someone else.
But then, he thought about the way Zane had felt in his arms. He knew those feelings hadn’t been one sided, either. For several minutes it had been as if something was pushing them together. Aidan had been completely enthralled.
Not knowing what to do, he climbed into his car and drove over to the flea market. Maybe one of his friends could give him some advice. If nothing else, Parker had told him he would probably be finished with the second bedside table today and Aidan could pick it up.
Walking into Parker’s shop, Aidan instantly sensed something was wrong. His friend was just sitting there staring at a piece of wood as if he hoped it held the answers to the universe. Last night Parker had refused to talk about what Jesse had said to him other than the man thought Aidan and Parker were on a date.
But Jesse storming in there demanding to talk to Parker reminded Aidan that the first time he met Jesse, the man had mentioned he was interested in someone named Parker. He’d never put the two together before last night, but Aidan suspected that Parker was as deep in the closet as a person could get.
As long as he refused to come out, there was no way Parker would even be seen with a guy like Jesse, someone who not only was out, but was also willing to be who he was no matter what anyone else thought of him. Aidan could imagine being gay in a small Southern town where everyone knew who you were, wasn’t easy.
For Parker, who was extremely shy, it would be even more difficult. Aidan felt for his friend and now that they were alone, where no one could eavesdrop, he would do his best to see if Parker wanted to talk.
Shutting the door, Aidan decided to lock it so they wouldn’t be interrupted. “Hey, Parker.”
Nothing.
Stepping within a foot of the guy, Aidan snapped his fingers in front of the man’s blank expression. The look of dread was written all over his dazed expression when he looked at Aidan. “Parker?”
Concerned, Aidan pulled up a chair. “What’s going on, buddy? Is everything okay?” It was a dumb question, because clearly everything was far from all right, but Aidan had never really been good with talking about feelings.
“Have you ever had to hide who you were? Pretend to be someone you’re not?” Parker’s voice was flat as he talked.
Aidan saw the struggle Parker was having and decided to be honest. “I think all of us do that to some degree. If you’re talking about coming out of the closet, yeah, I lied for a while.” A harsh laugh spilled out of Aidan. “For a long time I hid it from myself.”
Brown eyes, drowning in pain, stared at Aidan. “What happened when you came out?”
Aidan lips turned up at the memory. “I had been so scared. I tried to talk to my parents for weeks but always chickened out. Then this one morning my mom was making pancakes while my dad was frying bacon as I walked into the kitchen. They had been teasing each other, and when I went to the fridge to get some juice I saw them kiss.”
Aidan had been seventeen at the time and had finally admitted to himself that he was gay the year before. “It was just a peck really, but they had both been laughing, even during the kiss. In that moment I knew I could tell them anything.” He shrugged. “So, I did.”
A sliver of hope entered Parker’s expression. “What did they say?”
“That they loved me no matter what.” Aidan had cried when his mom and dad had said that. He’d been so scared for so long, and to find out his parents would stand beside him had taken a huge weight off his shoulders.
A tear ran down Parker’s cheek as he stared at the floor. When he looked up, Aidan nearly choked at seeing the man’s desolation. “My mom believes that gays are the devil, that Satan infected gay people with sin in hopes of building an army against God.”
Aidan sat there stunned as he tried to think of something to say. He knew there were people out there that used religion against homosexuals. In Aidan’s experience there really wasn’t much point in trying to change their minds, at least not when they were so set in their ways.
Still, to have your own mother be one of those people when you were struggling to figure out who you were, had to be rough. Now he understood better why Parker refused to admit he was gay. He was terrified his mom would hate him.
“Does she know?” he asked Parker.
He shook his head. “I couldn’t tell her. It’s why I went away to college so I could be...” His voice trailed off as if he were afraid if he said it aloud it would get back to his mom.
Aidan want
ed to help but he just didn’t know how. It was an impossible choice — to live a lie or to have your own mother call you the devil. Never had Aidan been as grateful for his parents’ love and support as he was right at that moment.
They sat there for the better part of an hour in silence. The sounds of the other crafters working could be faintly heard. The scent of fresh-cut wood filled the room. Parker once more stared at the piece of wood in front of him.
“I’m in love with him.” Parker’s voice was low but in the silence of the room it seemed to echo.
Aidan wasn’t surprised. Jesse was a force to be reckoned with. “Have you told him any of this?”
“I tried, last night.” Parker started stroking the wood in front of him as if it were giving him some sort of comfort. “At least, some of it, but he didn’t believe me. At first, I had hoped if I ignored his advances, he’d stop trying.”
Aidan wasn’t sure that logic was sound. “Maybe if you tried again, he’d back off.”
“I don’t want him to find someone else.” Tears glistened in Parker’s eyes when he looked at Aidan. “Is that selfish of me?”
Damn. Aidan was having a hard time not crying himself as he watched Parker’s anguish. “I think you just want to be happy, and Jesse makes you happy.”
Parker smiled. “You know, I asked him why he wears such outlandish outfits, makeup — hell, I’ve seen him carrying around a purse a time or two. He told me he liked who he was and if people don’t like it they can go fuck themselves.” A harsh laugh filled the room. “He’s fearless. I’m not.” The last two words were choked out.
“Know that I will be here for you, no matter what you decide, but you need to make a decision and then tell Jesse what’s going on.” Aidan knew that was easier said than done, but Parker’s indecision was tearing two people apart.
“How do I do that?” Parker asked. “I don’t want to lose Jesse, but she’s my mother and there’s…”
