Magical Dames and Dating Games

by Amy Boyles

  Winnifred shooed me out of her office. “Come on, Charming. Let’s give the two lovebirds a moment alone.”

  My stomach knotted at her use of the term lovebirds. If there was one thing Thorne wasn’t, it was a bird. I could barely even imagine him loving someone. The word love didn’t seem to be in his vernacular.

  Not that I cared.

  I let the mayor lead me from her office. Once we were out, she closed the door and fanned her face. “Well I’ve never in my life seen someone say no so hard but their eyes say yes.”

  I balked. “You’re talking about Thorne?”

  “Yes. Who else?”

  “Um. Frankie?”

  She wagged a finger and said with authority, “Mark my words, Charming. Thorne will go through with the dating game. I have no doubt. He wants to; he just won’t admit it to himself.”

  I swallowed an egg in the back of my throat. “You think?”

  “Of course. Frankie might be a bit older than him, but she’s gorgeous. Plus, she has a certain magnetism that just seems to grab you. Oh, not me. I mean a man. Thorne will do it. Just give her a moment to convince him.”

  I frowned. I seriously doubted Thorne would go through with it, but I wished Frankie all the luck in the world.

  Who was I kidding? No I didn’t. I didn’t wish her any luck. I didn’t want Thorne to go through with it because…because I had feelings for him. They were fledgling, but my heart raced every time we were near one other. Our conversations stimulated my brain even though I also wanted to strangle Thorne at the same time. Plus, Thorne seemed to approach me with a gentleness on occasion that I felt was rare for the vampire.

  It was true—I had feelings and I didn’t want him to go through with the dating game. That would put Frankie and him together in intimate situations.

  What if he fell for her? I would’ve lost something I never had, and worse, it would basically be my fault.

  My own stupid code of ethics had put me in this position. But whatever, there was no point in crying over spilled milk. In fact there wouldn’t be any spilling because Thorne wouldn’t go through with the dating game. I just knew it.

  Once the first round of questions and playing were over, the format would be similar to the Bachelor or Bachelorette—hot tubs and date nights.

  Kissing. There would be kissing.

  I calmed my beating heart and pressed my cold fingers to my hot cheeks.

  Winnifred tapped my arm. “They’re coming out.”

  The door opened and Frankie appeared, a huge smile on her face. She gestured toward Thorne, who slowly walked out, his back stiff.

  “Ladies,” she said proudly, “I’d like to announce that we have a full cast of men for me to choose from. Thorne Blackwood has agreed to go on the dating game.”

  I stared at Thorne. He didn’t meet my gaze. I pulled a clipboard from my bag, took out a pen and clicked it. “So then. Let’s get started. The game show airs tomorrow night. We have some logistics to work out.”

  Chapter 3

  I didn’t ask Thorne what Frankie had said to him. In fact, I didn’t talk to him again until the night of the dating game.

  Winnifred Dixon had rented out the old theater in town for the first round of the show.

  “Charming, this is the most important night,” the mayor said as she guided me to the stage. On the right side of the set three screens had been erected. The idea was that each bachelor, unseen, would answer Frankie’s questions. Frankie would sit on the left with the host who would guide her straight through.

  The set was a beige 70’s color with lots of hearts, plush cushions and blinking lights. It was a strange combination but it worked.

  The second round would take place on location, at the various dating spots that Frankie had picked out, and would follow each of the couples from food to drinks to whatever happened after.

  “What do you think?” the mayor asked.

  I took in the colors and the cheesiness of it before smiling. “It’s gorgeous. Absolutely perfect.”

  “Great. Everyone should be arriving soon. I’ll need you to be here as consultant. In case there are any matchmaking questions.”

  I nodded. “Of course.”

  “Now where is India?” she said impatiently. “My assistant was supposed to be here with coffee.”

  A moment later a small woman whose gaze darted left and right hustled over. “Mayor, I’ve got your coffee.”

  “Oh, bless you, child.” The mayor grabbed the cup and gulped down the concoction. “I need this to calm my nerves. I’m a bundle of jitters, Charming. An absolute bundle. Unsure if I’ll make it through the night without getting sick.”

  I frowned at the coffee. “Not sure that will help your jitters. Caffeine might make them worse. Maybe some warm milk would be better.”

  “Nonsense,” the mayor declared. “Come, India. We have work to do.”

  The mayor strode off with India scurrying behind. I started to laugh but stifled it when a tall man with a blond pompadour smoothed his tie and walked over.

  “Are you in charge of all this?”

  The question surprised me. “No, I can’t say I am. I’m Charming Calhoun, the matchmaker—a consultant for the game.”

  He extended his hand and offered a thousand-watt smile. “Pleased to meet you. I’m Vic Blass, the host.”

  My palm slid over his, and Vic gloved my hand. “Oh. So you’re the lucky man who gets to lead Frankie to true love.”

  Vic lifted his chin and chuckled. A glint sparkled in his eyes as he glanced back at me. “I’m certainly going to do my best.”

  “That’s all anyone can do.”

  He released my hand and I realized he’d been holding it for a long time, but it hadn’t bothered me. There wasn’t anything particularly creepy about him. You know how some people take your hand and just won’t let go until you’re super uncomfortable?

  Well Vic held my hand, but there was nothing unsettling about it. That had to be a good sign that the night would go well.

  At least I hoped so.

  “Charming, so glad you could join us.”

  Frankie strode up. She wore an emerald-green dress that looked to be made of gossamer. The thing floated behind her as she glided over.

  I stiffened. “I wouldn’t miss this for all the world.”

  She kissed both my cheeks. “I’m pleased you’re supporting this little game.” Her gaze flickered to Vic. “Oh, Vic. You make me proud that you’re hosting this.”

  Vic did a little bow. “Anything for a magical dame.”

  My gaze washed from him to her. “You two know each other?”

  Frankie kissed Vic’s cheek. “Vic and I go way back. Don’t we?”

  He nodded. “We certainly do. Way back to before you ever received your title of dame.”

  Frankie hiked a shoulder and giggled. “Now, now. No need to age me. I’m as young as I feel.”

  “And as beautiful as ever,” Vic murmured.

  Did these two want to get a room or what? Vic and Frankie stared at each other until Vic broke the spell. “Well, ladies, it’s been nice chatting, but I’ve got to get ready to host this little show, don’t I? Frankie, great to see you. Charming, I’m sure we’ll meet again.”

  As soon as Vic walked off, Frankie hitched a brow. “Well, well, well, looks like Vic took a shine to you.”

  I scoffed. “Looked like he couldn’t drag his gaze from you.”

  A delicate laugh trilled in her throat. “Don’t be silly. He’s only here because I asked him. He’s doing us a favor. I’m here for one of the three men.”

  A secretive smile quirked on her lips. “One of three possible dates.”

  “Is that true what he said? About you being a dame?”

  A makeup artist approached and started touching up Frankie’s hair and powdering her cheeks. Frankie held a mirror and watched, her eyes full of scrutiny.

  “It is—I’m a dame. I would think you’d know that.”

  I caught sig
ht of Thorne. He strode down the aisle, his hulking mass pretty much making everyone in his path look like a dwarf.

  He scowled, which was bad for the dating game. I could just hear Vic introducing him.

  Ladies and gentlemen, our next contestant doesn’t want to be here, but for some reason is. He’s an angry vampire. You’ll want to stay out of his way if you meet him on a dark street. Or ladies, you might not, just depends how kinky you like your men. Introducing—Thorne Blackwood.

  “Why would I know that? About you being a dame?”

  Thorne disappeared from view right as my family appeared. Mama wore a beautiful flowing pink gown while Rose led Pig on a leash. I nearly smacked my forehead in frustration. For heaven’s sake, why did she bring Pig? But that wasn’t all—Broom followed behind them, sweeping the floor.

  I groaned. Why was my family here in such a display? Well, at least it offered a possible distraction. Perhaps Pig would run wild while Broom started spanking folks. That would give me something to focus on other than Thorne and Frankie.

  Frankie spotted them, too. “Well, if it isn’t your mother, Glinda.”

  Not wanting to cause any drama, I smiled politely. “Yes. She looks very busy.”

  Frankie sniffed. “She’s not too busy to say hello to an old friend, I’m sure. Glinda!”

  I cringed. As far as I knew, these two women hadn’t had a real meeting since Frankie had arrived in Witch’s Forge. I hated to see what would happen between them given the hints about being mortal enemies and all that.

  Mama’s back straightened. Every muscle I could see tensed, right down to the muscles that controlled her eyes. She slowly pivoted in our direction, her gaze floating until it landed on Frankie.

  Mama’s mouth split into a cold smile. “Frankie, so glad to see you.”

  Frankie extended her hands to Mama and air-kissed her cheeks. Mama looked like she wanted to vomit.

  “Oh Glinda, I’m so sorry we haven’t had a chance to chat since I’ve been in town, but you know how it is,” Frankie said with her delicate Southern accent sprinkling the words, “when you’re trying to find your soul mate and all. It takes just about everything out of you.”

  “I’m sure,” Mama said snidely. “When you’re on your third soul mate like you are, it must be difficult to narrow down the field.”

  Frankie stared at Mama before breaking into a delicate laugh. “Oh, you’re so funny, Glinda. But it’s true. Charming—” I nearly jumped at the mention of my name. I did not want to be dragged into their feud, or whatever it was. “Have I ever told you that I’ve been married before?”

  “Three times.” Mama threw her hair over one shoulder in a dramatic flourish. “And all of them your sworn soul mates.”

  “Well,” I said, “divorce is common, and if you didn’t use a matchmaker before, then the pairing up might not have been exactly right.”

  Mama laughed. “Oh, dear. Frankie’s husbands didn’t leave. They all died.”

  My jaw dropped. What was the likelihood that one woman could be married three times and they would all die? I guess it wouldn’t be so common if she was a gold digger and the man much, much older.

  “Well,” I said, trying to make the best of the situation, “if they were older, they might have been in bad health.”

  “They were all young,” Mama snapped.

  I cringed. Oh. This looked bad. Very bad. So Frankie Firewalker was a serial marryier? Then her husbands died? My heart drummed. Was I setting one of these men up to be Frankie’s fourth dead husband?

  Frankie’s laugh rang out. “Oh Glinda, you know as well as I do that my husbands, rest their souls, all died from accidents that couldn’t be avoided. Your husband died too, if you don’t remember.”

  Mama’s eyes narrowed to slits. “I remember all too well,” she said with a chill in her voice. “My husband died from a vampire attack. I’m sure you recall that, Frankie. Last I checked, your husbands died either from skiing accidents or falling off the side of a ship. There’s no comparison.”

  Frankie tutted. “Could it be that Glinda Calhoun is jealous?”

  “Jealous?” Mama practically spat. “Of what? A string of dead husbands?”

  “I don’t know, Glinda,” Rose interjected. “A string of dead husbands who left you a fortune might be something to be jealous of.”

  Pig snorted in agreement.

  Frankie took a menacing step forward. “Not of the husbands, of my title, Glinda. We both know you wanted the title of Magical Dame, but only one is handed out every twenty years.”

  Frankie pressed her palm to her chest proudly. “And I know for a fact you threw your hat into the ring. What can I say?” She shot Mama an innocent look. “The judges decided I was the best witch for the job—I mean title. But don’t worry, you’ll have another chance in, say, twenty years.”

  She threw her head back and cackled.

  Mama’s face burned bright red. She glared at Frankie as if she wanted to magic her head right off.

  She fisted her hands tightly to her side. “Now you listen here, Dame Frankie Firewalker.”

  “Yes?”

  Mama took a menacing step forward. “I never once cared about that stupid title. What good would it have done me? I already teach whomever I want, whenever I want. Witches flock to me from all over the world to learn what I know. I could care less about a title that means nothing other than”—she dropped her voice—“you showed a few judges your panties.”

  Frankie gasped. She clutched her throat as if searching for an invisible string of pearls. “How dare you suggest I would stoop so low.”

  Mama’s brow hiked to the ceiling. “Is it really so outlandish?”

  “Not if you ask me,” Rose added. “Anyone who would show a stranger their panties might also off their husbands.”

  “Why I never!” Frankie staggered back. “I want nothing to do you with, Glinda Calhoun. How dare you suggest, in my brightest moment, that I would have done something so terrible, so drastic for nothing more than a simple title.”

  Mama folded her arms proudly. “If it looks like a duck…”

  “You stay away from me,” Frankie nearly shouted. “Stay away while I’m in this town. You’ve called me a lot of things in the past, but what you’ve done today has crossed a line.”

  “I don’t know about that,” Rose said innocently. “Seems to me you may have crossed the line—the panty line.”

  Mama and Rose burst into laughter as Frankie stalked off, visibly shaken.

  I groaned. “Great. I’m her matchmaker. Why’d the two of y’all have to go and screw that up for me?”

  Mama shrugged.

  I slapped my thigh in frustration. “So is that the beef you have with her? That Frankie stole a stupid title from you?”

  “No,” Mama said stiffly. “That’s not my beef with her. My beef is that she tried to steal your father from me. If I were you, I would watch her with Thorne. There’s no telling what that woman will do.”

  The lights flickered to suggest it was nearly showtime. I saw Thorne come out from backstage. Our gazes locked, and my stomach felt like a pool of eels swam in it.

  “Looks like it’s showtime,” Rose said. “Let’s get to our seats. I can’t wait to see how this turns out.”

  I wanted to cower in a corner and shut my eyes. Seeing Frankie in action was the last thing I wanted. But I had no choice. It was go time.

  Chapter 4

  “Well I’d have to say, Vic, that if that little lady wanted to come to my ranch, she’d be welcome anytime.”

  Tex Tye had the audience on the edge of their seats. With his Southern drawl, cowboy hat, thin leather tie and cowboy boots, he was certainly a charmer for this crowd.

  They couldn’t see him, unfortunately, but I knew exactly what he looked like. So did Frankie. She insisted on seeing all the men before the game show, even if she didn’t meet them in person—except for Thorne, that was.

  Vic rested his chin on his palm. He sat behind a des
k looking comfortable and interested. He leaned in Tex’s direction and nodded at Frankie.

  “And tell us, Tex. What would you do once you got to your ranch?”

  “Well, we’d walk around. I’d show her my prize horses. Have a little candlelit dinner overlooking my meadow.”

  The crowd ahhh’d at that.

  Vic shot Frankie a relaxed smile. “And what do you think about that, Frankie?”

  Frankie fanned herself. “I think it’s a great idea. I love candlelight and meadows.”

  “Is it safe to say you’re willing to go on a date with Bachelor Number Two?”

  Frankie shot Vic a shy smile. I rolled my eyes. What an act.

  “I think it is safe to say so, Vic. I’ll go on a date with Bachelor Number Two.”

  The crowd cheered and clapped.

  Vic shuffled a stack of index cards and tapped them on the desk. “Congratulations, Two. You’ve got a date. Now it’s time to move on to Bachelor Number Three. This bachelor spends his days defending Witch’s Forge from bad guys. He’s not quite human, but he’s not quite alive either. Oops, and if you want to leave town with him, you can’t, because he’s bound to remain here until his daddy forgives him. Y’all, please give a big round of applause for Bachelor Number Three.”

  I just knew Thorne was stewing. I quietly made my way from the side of the audience to backstage, where I could read his expressions. I still didn’t know what Frankie had said to him to make Thorne want to do this, but it must’ve been good.

  Vic’s voice carried around back. “Bachelor Number Three, why don’t you tell us what you’d do on a date with our bachelorette?”

  By this time I could see Thorne. He looked absolutely annoyed. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. When he spoke, his voice came out gruff.

  “I’d take the bachelorette to dinner.”

  Vic paused. Thorne brushed lint from his pants. “Is that all, Bachelor?”

  “That’s all,” Thorne said. “Dinner.”

  “Will it be a fancy restaurant?” Vic coaxed.

  Thorne shrugged. “I guess.”

  I closed my eyes in frustration. Thorne had to do this right. He was one of the matches I picked for Frankie. If he didn’t go along with this, the mayor would be mad at me. It would put my entire contract as matchmaker in jeopardy. I couldn’t afford that.