Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 11

by Fujino Omori

  “Back in the old days, Dionysus had a volatile personality. If he had actually settled down once he came here, then he was in the middle of the uproars too often .”

  The god concluded: that was why he had proposed an alliance—to observe Dionysus.

  “Mind if I ask a question now? If you suspected him, why bring Dionysus along during the assault on Knossos?”

  “…For one, he never let enough slip to give me a reason not to take him. Also, once he was in the enemy’s base, I figured he would try to pull something—even if he thought he was being careful and patient…and we could at least control the situation if he was with us.”

  And she had told Gareth on the down low, in case of an emergency.

  However, Dionysus had managed to pull away from Loki—of all things that he could have done.

  “Plus…I couldn’t totally doubt him.”

  “…”

  “I’ve got a good nose for fishy business, too, but…I couldn’t smell it from him.”

  That was Loki’s honest opinion. There was definitely something suspicious about his behavior. However, his determination and the divine will behind it were real—or at least that was how it had felt to Loki.

  The decisive point had been the other day. She had not been able to find it in herself to doubt the vow that he’d sworn in front of his followers’ graves.

  “Dionysus said the real deal…At least, it felt that way to me. If that really was just manipulation, then all I can say is he got me.”

  “If it was enough to get you to say that…then I guess our suspicions about Dionysus were just bias and unfounded doubts?”

  “There’s enough blame to go around. He acted pompous and shady, too.”

  “True,” Hermes responded with an easy smile and looked up at the sky.

  “Sorry for suspecting you…Dionysus.”

  He cast his gaze up to the heavens to where the god had just ascended.

  “Feeling guilty?”

  “Ha-ha. As if.”

  Hermes looked toward the ground and placed his finger on the brim of his hat, pulling it down to cover his eyes. Or so Loki thought, but then he leaned in close to Loki, and she could see his piercing gaze peeking out from just below the edge.

  “You see, Loki…I’m mortified.”

  “…”

  “We were totally duped . That’s what this was. Dionysus was the scapegoat, drawing our attention and keeping us on each other’s cases while the mastermind bought time to move around in secret. Yeah. I don’t know which god it was yet, but I’m so mortified that I can barely stand it.”

  Hermes certainly didn’t feel anything as cute as guilt. The eyes peering into Loki’s face brimmed with rage. Coming to terms with the reality that he had been manipulated, he was utterly chagrined.

  “What about you, Loki? I’m just a phony, but…they even led you, the heavens’ ultimate trickster, around by the nose. Is there anything more shameful than that?”

  Hermes backed away, lifting his hands palms up, as if it was all a joke.

  She would be lying if she denied it. But even she was at a loss for how to describe the feeling that waxed and waned in her heart as though a dry wind blowing through its gaps.

  “…Well, either way. Now I know you’re thinking along the same lines as I am. I’m going to try looking into things connected to Dionysus.”

  “Another one of your investigations?”

  “Yeah. Starting now, I’m looking for the ringleader.”

  With that, Hermes walked off. As he passed, he slipped a chess piece into Loki’s hand—the black king.

  “…”

  After he disappeared, Loki leaned back against the wall of the alley, securing the black king, the piece that represented Enyo, before turning up her head. A blue sky spread above the city. It was clear, without a single cloud, as if nothing had happened.

  “Why the hell’d you have to go and ascend for…?” Loki murmured suddenly as she looked at the sky, carved into shape by the buildings lining the alley—speaking to the god who had disappeared into it alongside so many of his followers.

  “Were you really being manipulated, Dionysus…?”

  There were no longer any fragments of the pillar in the blue sky, and even though she asked, no answer would be coming.

  Was Dionysus looking down on Loki from the heavens? Or did all the gods up there peeping on the mortal realm see through everything?

  Maybe they were pointing and having a good laugh at Loki of all people for being pathetic. Normally, she would get pissed at the thought of that, but for some reason, she just did not feel like that now.

  “…”

  That sentimentality was not like her. Shaking it off, she emulated Hermes: not looking back at things gone past but continuing to move forward. For the time being, she gave it a thought.

  Was Dionysus played for a fool? In order to draw our attention, as Hermes was saying…? If so, why was Dionysus dancing to Enyo’s tune? Why did…? No, how did they manage that?

  That was what was bothering Loki. If it was like that, then a theory where Dionysus was connected to Enyo made more sense.

  Based on Hermes and the shrimp, Dionysus definitely had some extreme tendencies. Like how I used to be.

  Gnawed by the poison of boredom, he had contracted the rare illness that afflicted gods. Loki had been the same, getting into knock-down, drag-out fights with gods.

  “That time when he was about to get into it over that title…the Twelve Gods, I think? Was anyone other than those twelve involved in it—?”

  Thinking that far, Loki suddenly changed her perspective.

  What if…what if…Dionysus was being manipulated back then? What if he was being controlled to have extreme outbursts, set up to be scapegoated…to be a cover for Enyo to move around in secret?

  Loki could not even laugh as she weaved together that speculation. She sunk into thought for a while when—Hmm?

  “…Loki?”

  “Wha—?! S-Soma?!”

  Without any warning, a god with black hair loomed over her. Soma sluggishly tilted his head as Loki was taken by surprise. Soma was the God of Sake. An eccentric even among the gods, he had descended to the mortal realm to brew all sorts of flavorful alcohol. His familia had gotten into the business, to the point where they had a brewery apart from their home. Loki liked to brag that she and alcohol went together like a hand in a glove, and he was an acquaintance who she had interacted with a couple of times because she wanted to drink some of his homemade sake.

  “What are you doing here…?”

  “That’s my line!” she yelped.

  He had long hair for a guy, and his bangs swept over his eyes, covering them. Saying he was gloominess incarnate would not be wrong. Loki often teased him, calling him a God of Hobbies because he was always holed up, immersed in making sake. To see an introverted god out and about was half the reason Loki was so surprised.

  “My brewery is close to Daedalus Street…”

  “Ah…that’s right, you mentioned that before. Taking a shortcut?”

  “Yeah…”

  “But this area’s off-limits. You know if you get caught, Ganesha will fly right off the handle.”

  “That’s why I was doing it in a way that wouldn’t stand out…”

  She looked exasperated as Soma muttered in a subdued voice. The idea of him somehow being Enyo was just too ridiculous for her to seriously entertain.

  However, he did seem to assume the role of a patron god more than when they’d first met. She did not know what caused this change of heart, but…Loki wasn’t really in a place where she could care at the moment.

  “I won’t tell anyone. Hurry up and beat it.” She shooed him away.

  “I’ll take my leave…”

  Loki sighed as the god aimlessly started walking hunched over.

  “—Divine Wine.” As he was moving past, Soma suddenly halted, whipping around to look at her.

  “Huh?”

 
; “—I smell a gods’ brew.” Soma closed in, expressionless, his eyes opened wide behind his hair.

  Taken aback by his sudden change in demeanor, Loki was overwhelmed.

  “Loki, you had Divine Wine?”

  “D-don’t be stupid! I haven’t even had one drop of your real stuff! You wouldn’t ever share any with me! Even though I really wanted to try it! Actually, I could really, really, really use some right about now!” Loki pleaded her innocence with so much force that spittle started flying, but Soma was persistent.

  “No. Not mine. It doesn’t smell like what I make.”

  “Huh?”

  “This is something made by someone else.”

  “I tell you not to be stupid, and you gimme that? Who other than you is making it in the mortal realm…?”

  “But I definitely smell it on you.”

  Loki shrank back as he sniffed all around her with the fervor of a dog. She was still a goddess, after all, so if some stupid deity started getting cozy and smelling her, she would obviously want to drop an iron fist on the top of his head, but…she raised her arm to her nose to catch a whiff.

  However, even Loki, who loved every kind of booze, could not detect the faintest scent of alcohol.

  “It doesn’t smell like you actually drank it yourself…I’m guessing it rubbed off from someone else…”

  “From someone…else…?”

  “Loki, you know a drinker?” Soma asked as he leaned in.

  This was coming from a god who everyone struggled to hold a conversation with. He had a totally new sparkle in his eyes.

  “Loki, I want to know. Who else is making divine alcohol down here?”

  “W-wait! Wait! I’m telling you, I don’t remember anything…!” Loki held both her arms out to keep him back as Soma cornered her, suddenly becoming a chatterbox.

  “The process and the type of alcohol are different…Grapes…Is it a grape wine?”

  When she heard those words, her heart started beating like crazy.

  “…”

  An electric spark. Her thoughts flickered. She realized her heart was pounding harder than normal. And with her throat quivering, she arrived at a single answer.

  “It can’t be…” Her eyes snapped open, and in the next moment, she started running. “Soma, come with me!”

  As Loki launched off, Soma obediently tagged along.

  Booking it out of Daedalus Street, they headed for the city’s southeast corner to a place that she’d never been before, but she knew the location. For several reasons, including an abundance of caution, it was a home that she had never tried to approach previously.

  Out of breath as she slammed into several people on the street, Loki finally arrived at that building.

  “Huff…Wheeze…! Here…”

  Dionysus Familia ’s home. As expected, there wasn’t even a hint of a soul at the luxurious manor that no longer had anyone left to return to it.

  If a familia was disbanded or destroyed because its patron god was sent back, its property and funds were reclaimed by the Guild, but that had not happened yet, since Dionysus Familia had been destroyed only hours ago. The Guild did not have the time to spare with all the things already stacked high on its plate. All the objects should still be there.

  “This smell…Over here.”

  Before Loki could ask, Soma started moving around to the back side of the manor. She did not even have the time to tease him for acting like a pooch.

  She just tailed after him and scrambled over the back fence. Normally, they would have already been caught by a familia member on guard and marched off the premises, but there was no one left anymore. After snooping in the backyard, they snuck into the manor, following Soma’s nose—and found the stairway connecting to the underground room.

  “This is…”

  As they opened the door, unfolding before them were shelves lining the walls that held countless bottles. It was the wine cellar Dionysus had built.

  In any other circumstance, Loki would have rejoiced at the untold number of famous labels in storage—a horde of treasure before her eyes. The cool air of the cellar caused them to shiver as they quickly stepped inside.

  Finally, Soma stopped sniffing, standing in front of a shelf in one corner of the room. Following his gaze, Loki retrieved a single bottle from the shelf. Her fingers trembling, she popped open the cork. A bewitching sweet smell wafted from it.

  “…There’s no mistaking it. This is Divine Wine.”

  She gasped at his declaration as he continued to rave, unable to mask his shock and interest.

  “This is…even more complete than mine.”

  Loki looked at him in wonder. That was impossible. Unbelievable.

  Who the hell could have created something to make Soma say that…?

  He said one last thing, breaking through the unending stream of doubts and questions rushing through Loki’s head.

  “This…would get even a god completely drunk .”

  “ ”

  Those words and their meaning sent a flash of understanding through Loki’s mind. Dionysus the manipulated. Dionysus the fool.

  Drunk. Drunk. Drunk. Had he been drunk? Had Dionysus been drunk ? What if he had been made to habitually drink Divine Wine? What if he had been sipping on it every day without realizing it, getting smashed and manipulated like a puppet? What if he had been drunkenly guided to catch Loki’s and Hermes’s attention, toward maintaining a feud with Ouranos, whose side protected the order of the city?

  This could do it…This wine could totally do that!

  She was sure of it, peering at the alcohol in front of her that was even starting to mess with her senses from a single whiff. At the same time, the scent of grapes triggered something in her memories.

  “…I know this. This smell. I know this smell! ”

  I’ve smelled this before somewhere else!

  Gripping the bottle with both hands, she stared at it as if glaring into the eyes of her foe.

  Where? Where did I smell it? Where the hell did I smell this before…?!

  The mark on the label was one that even Loki did not recognize, resembling an emblem, a stemmed glass overflowing with wine.

  A tavern? Impossible! They’d never have something like this! A brewery? No, I haven’t been to one! Not the drink itself but the ingredients, maybe…Grapes…Grapes… Grapes?

  As she looked at the bloodred wine rolling around inside the bottle, a hazy memory limply started to distort.

  Dionysus had been drinking wine next to a certain person …

  “—I am very particular when it comes to grape wine—”

  Dionysus had walked up to Loki.

  “—and this is absolutely superb.”

  He had been standing next to…

  “It can’t be…” Her vermilion eyes snapped wide open.

  “It can’t be?!” she shouted, which came out like a pained scream.

  “Ouranos.”

  In the Chamber of Prayers at Guild Headquarters, Fels’s black robe billowed.

  “The results?”

  “I’ll start with the conclusion: Knossos has transformed into a spirit realm.”

  While Ganesha Familia was observing it from aboveground on Daedalus Street, Fels had been investigating it with the Xenos from the eighteenth floor. The mage in black robes had returned to report back.

  “I’m guessing it’s a miracle triggered by spirits or something along those lines. It resembles what the Sword Princess and the others saw at the pantry on the twenty-fourth floor and what Lido and the Xenos dealt with on the thirtieth floor. But this is something else entirely. Or perhaps it would be better to say it is on an entirely higher level.”

  “…”

  “The green flesh filling all the passages has agency and attempts to eliminate any intruders. It’s the first time we’ve ever had to take on an actual dungeon i-itself,” Fels announced, faltering slightly.

  The mage felt incredibly reluctant to describe that hideous gre
en flesh as the result of a spirit miracle.

  “It is probably a parasitic reaction caused by the use of multiple demi-spirits…The method is unclear, but there’s no doubt that it’s related to the power of the corrupted spirit.”

  Knossos had been reborn as a castle for the devil. Fels’s conclusion was that it had become an even more repulsive and stout fortress.

  “If we were to burn and dig it all out…it would take a lot of time and effort. At the very least, it would take one or two days just to reach the floor where the spirits are hidden. It’s best to consider it impossible to invade Knossos while it’s in this state.”

  And that was fatal—with the countdown to Orario’s destruction still moving forward. Fels’s black gloves clenched, and then the mage breathed out and relaxed their grip.

  The four torches set on the altar flickered as Ouranos spoke. “I’m guessing this was the aim from the beginning. If Loki Familia did not attempt to clear Knossos, then our foes would simply have bided their time until the destruction of the city. And if anyone did try to attack…they had the option to use the remnants of the Evils as a sacrifice and annihilate the invaders.”

  “Are you saying the Evils’ Remnants were sacrificial pawns?”

  “Tools with some utility, perhaps,” Ouranos corrected, his blue eyes narrowing.

  Fels’s hooded head shook left and right limply.

  “The devil’s work…Are you saying that we were all just dancing around in the palm of Enyo’s hand with the Evils and even Loki Familia ?”

  “No other conclusion is possible.”

  Fels’s head swayed once again in awe of the enemy’s cunning, by the figure of the god whose face none had yet seen.

  “…I will continue the investigation on the progression of Knossos, but the problem is that we still don’t know the identity of Enyo—or even have any suspects.”

  Ouranos shook his head.

  “We have suspects,” the god announced as he looked up at the ceiling shrouded in darkness. “Every single god and goddess in this city.”

  The city—no, the labyrinth that had been reborn as a demon’s castle—sneered, burbling with a giggle, asking a single question.