by Ken Pence
“I want to trade for that technology. It only works in atmosphere then?”
“Yes. Aren’t you upset for the damage your crew caused?” Brad asked.
“What did you expect when you introduced interest and then anger scents into the air? Hurry the cleanup so we can begin again after your disruption,” UmBllatt stated with the air of the aggrieved victim.
Brad was discomfited but realized it would make sense. We can take a short break and then you show us what you have to trade.”
UmBllatt snorted and, unperturbed, turned back to looking through the technology transfer materials.
Brad turned to Fran because she was the best with chemistry.
Fran, trying to be comforting, laid her hand on Brad’s arm. She knew she could do not have a show of compassion because she knew he was wound up. She said, “...Makes sense I guess,” she paused and tilted her head a little. “Some perfumes use some unsaturated aldehydes to add transfer of the scent - (Z3)-hexenol (leaf alcohol) and (E2)- hexanal (leaf aldehyde), aka stinkbug lite. That might match the acrid smell we detect when these folks are really excited about something. The cinnamon smell that is released when they are mad might be from cinnamaldehyde, the cinnamon scent. Might be that we did this to ourselves. Did you forget they are not human?”
“They keep reminding me,” Brad leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “You are sexy smart you know. Thanks. I guess I ought to get over being angry at them.”
Brad had his aide supervise the rapid cleanup and paced until it was time to get the display of the trader’s wares. All decided to break to eat and Brad turned lunch over to Fran this time. She had staff bring out carts of alfalfa pellets, kale, clover, and bins of common grains and berries. Brad was so accustomed to processed foods that it came as a shock when the natural foods were so much of a hit.
“Humrumff,” Captain UmBllatt said to Brad. “I see you have been holding out the best until last. I have not had this much good food since I was a cub. The variety is amazing. We have very little variety with us. This is a good change. Where is the...toilet...I think that is the word?”
“There is a large one configured for you just over there,” Brad pointed to the end of the large room. He recognized the cinnamon smell of anger and UmBllatt marched off.
The navigator noticed the interchange and ambled over to Brad. “You are puzzled why the Captain got mad,” he said while munching some hibiscus contentedly. He continued, “It is not accepted to point with a hand while discussing a delicate subject...like defecation. You notice we eat much which causes a large amount of the later,” the navigator said and expelled largely...to emphasize his point. “Beings just swivel their ocular stalks in a direction when discussing delicate subjects.” He did not wait for a reply and then just turned back to the bins of food.
Brad was again discomfited. How are we to point then since we didn’t have eyestalks to swivel? I guess we could look in the direction we wish to indicate and nod. He’d tell everyone. He needed to stop attributing human characteristics to these non-humans.
The Captain returned and didn’t seem worse for the wear, plus – he didn’t seem mad anymore and busily rounded up his crew and headed them back to the trade floor...after they all had a stop at the – facilities.
“We will now show what we have to trade,” UmBllatt said.
The Captain and several of his crew followed Brad, Andrew and Fran as the moved down the line of trade goods from the Ullumff. It was funny because they acted like a new security guard watching potential teenage shoplifters.
Brad and Andrew saw the three teaching devices and a rack of cylinders. “Would you describe these and their differences?” Andrew asked.
“These are, of course, teaching devices. The smallest is the oldest and is therefore has more value. The next two sizes are later models and essentially, do the same thing. We have many with a large number of language cylinders. I apologize that many of the cylinders are only in Trade but we have some of the rare languages for you if you are interested.”
Brad looked at Andrew and knew that he was thinking. Thank god, we’ll get more of the Trade cylinders. “Are there only language cylinders? Do you have other topics?” Brad asked.
“We have a few cylinders with history of the trading in this sector – further in from the end of the spiral arm, of course – you are remote here. These are vintage – special,” UmBllatt thought he’d be happy to get rid of these old things. No one wanted them elsewhere – but here? Maybe... “We also have a few on manufacturing but they are not too detailed.” Cylinders for cubs...UmBllatt thought. “This one is for astronomers,” he said and held up the last one.
Andrew didn’t want to show how badly he wanted these cylinders and teaching machines. They hadn’t been able to duplicate the damn things for some reason and needed them desperately. He moved to the next display, several books printed on that indestructible material, Riz.
“These?” he said trying to display complete indifference. The first officer started to explain until the Captain grunted oddly and he shut up and stepped back abruptly.
“This is the last edition of the Uoott Culture Guide. It has ratings for many of the star systems in this section of the spiral arm. I regret this edition is not the one that recently included Earth. It is a useful first book for traders.” UmBllatt was beginning to get a feel for readings these beings interest. He did not become a Master Trader with almost 200 years experience without getting good at trading. “You will find this book most interesting. This is the Trade Guild manual,” he didn’t mention it was his first one and hopelessly out-of-date now. This one even had a defect on the Riz because it was so old. It had an acid scar on several pages near the front and that was hard to do with Riz.
Brad and Andrew could hardly contain themselves. UmBllatt noted their agitation and knew he had them hooked.
“You will find these much more interesting. These are manufacturing and genetics manuals. This volume is for a large range of manufacturing processes. It includes chemical, biological and materials manufacturing. We only have one set with us since it is so expensive and rare,” UmBllatt said. “There are five genetics volumes that includes age stopping materials. I regret I do not have samples because we are not supposed to carry genetic modification samples. It is against ES rules and I would not want to be stopped with any aboard.”
Brad glanced at Andrew and could see he was thinking about the genetic samples that had been recovered at the Washington state incursion.
“Age stopping?” Andrew asked, not sure whether it was acceptable in any culture to ask the age of any being accept the very young.
The navigator chimed in at this point and said, “Our Captain is the oldest trader in the Guild.”
The smell of cinnamon rent the air and both the Captain and his first officer snorted at the navigator. The navigator released a miasma of sulfurous, noisome smell. He cringed and stepped rapidly back. The cinnamon smell dissipated rapidly and the Captain spoke.
“I have lived 238 solar revolutions using your years.” He said to Andrew and Brad’s astonishment. “I expect another sixty revolutions with this technology.”
Brad and Andrew both let their breath out slowly and moved to the next display rather than show how they felt. This portion of merchandise consisted of many long polymer tubes about 5 centimeters in diameter and a meter plus long.
Captain UmBllatt picked up one tube; did something to the end and slide out a sheet of black Riz with white dots and numbers and lettering in Trade. “Star charts,” he said. “These are in different scales to about 1300 light years distance by our planets year.”
“About 1870 light years according to your planet’s year,” stated the navigator again and though the Captain and first officer looked at him – they didn’t get mad this time because they knew this information would increase the value of the trade and was not sensitive or personal information.
The Captain tilted his eyestalks, reached for his old
trade manual and handed it to Andrew. “This is for you – complimentary. We will study your catalogs and decide what we will trade for which items and quantities we desire.” He turned to go but was stopped by a call from Lieutenant Atassi.
“Excuse me general. I have a last minute item,” the aide said and rushed up to Brad, whispered in his ear and handed him a tube, not unlike the tubular chart holders from the Ullumff.
Brad handed it to Andrew and whispered in his ear.
Captain UmBllatt said, “Why do you speak like that? It is not polite and I can hear you clearly anyway. What does uninstalled window displays mean? Why interrupt our deliberations?”
Remember not to bet on these guys hearing something, Brad thought. He nodded for Andrew to go ahead and explain.
“This is a gift for you,” he said and handed the tube to UmBllatt.
UmBllatt took it and when no more explanation appeared to be forthcoming, puzzled over the end for a second, pried off a plastic cap and slid out a white sheet of dull plastic. It had 2 centimeter plastic strips on the top and the bottom. “This is...?” UmBllatt asked and there was a smell like vinegar emanating from him...curiosity smell?
“These were designed for use here on the station but were never installed. Let me show you how it works,” Andrew leaned forward and pushed the right bottom end of the strip.
The plastic grew hazy for a second and then there was a 3D image of a tropical beach complete with palm trees waving in the breeze and gentle ocean waves on white sand.
UmBllatt stared at the scene for a few seconds and then both eyes jerked away. “So much water makes me sick to look at it. How can you stand to look at that? Is this designed to make a being ill?”
Andrew was taken aback but leaned forward and touched the top right strip a couple of times – going through various scenes. The scene then changed to an African savannah of waving grasses complete with animals grazing in the distance and 25 meter tall baobab trees. The Captain couldn’t keep his eyes from looking at this scene. He was attracted to this scene as much he was repulsed by the ocean scenes.
“What is this? How is this possible? Does it use much power? How do these images move and seem to have depth? What is this for?” The Captain was incredulous...how could these beings do this?
“Captain UmBllatt. This uses a memory cartridge that stores the images and powers the device. Each memory/power cartridge lasts for seven Earth years and there are five additional cartridges included with this model. It is standard for homes on Earth where there is no view of the outside or the view is not appealing. This was meant for installation here but we never got around to it. It is complimentary for you.” Andrew said and realized that English word was being bandied about a lot these days. “Each scene is several hours in duration and then it repeats in random order within one view.”
By this time, the entire crew was looking over the Captain’s shoulder or around him to get a glimpse of the scenes.
The Captain noticed the crew gathered all around him, tore his eyes off the view, pushed the button on the bottom right side of the device. He quickly rolled it up – reinserted it into its carrying tube and walked out of the room without another word.
General Kyger and everyone watched the Ullumff troop out. They stood there looking at each other.
Atassi said, “Sir. I’m sorry if I screwed up sir. We had these stuck against a back wall in a storage room and thought that they might be useful. I...”
Brad tilted his head to the side a bit, looked pensive for a moment and then said, “You did fine lieutenant. I appreciate your initiative. I think...I think they really – really liked it. They just aren’t human and we’ve got to expect that they won’t have all our cultural norms. We can never forget that.” He paused. “Is the guard posted?”
“Yes sir. New guards on post,” Atassi acknowledged.
Kyger grunted assent and laughed realizing he sounded like the old Ullumff. “Guess we should all go study and plan what we intend to trade. I don’t know about you but I want every damn thing he showed us.”
“Me too,” Andrew said and handed the trader manual to Brad. He looked it over a few seconds and then handed it to Atassi.
“Lieutenant. Get this scanned in and tight beamed to General Sykes. I want this information in our system so we can all study it. Restrict it to access from our immediate teams.”
“Sir. Scanned in with limited access to our teams here and tight beamed to Lieutenant General Sykes. Yes sir. Right away,” Atassi replied.
UmBllatt’s Knowledge
The Earth crew sat down in an adjacent conference room to go over all the possible trades. They wanted everything they’d seen and much of the Earth material was out of date in the printed material. The genetics material might greatly speed their proposed aging research with the new biogerontologists they had hired for the Enclosure. The debates were heated and a bit drawn out but they finally planned some trading strategy. It was nice to have facts to base a trade on instead of theorizing what the aliens would bring. Andrew finally turned to Brad.
“Do we still have that original star map here from the first trade we did with UmBllatt or did you send it down to Earth?” Andrew asked.
“I kept it here since we sent all the scanned files down to Earth as soon as we got them,” Brad answered.
“Do you also still have those crates of peanuts for our own use and the cold keg of rocket fuel – you call a stout dark ale that is 24 proof?”
Brad nodded and raised his eyebrows. “Proposing...?”
“Just proposing we drop by the Captain’s lodging and share some snacks and drinks,” Andrew said.
“In that case we’ll need reinforcements,” he said and turned to his aide, Lieutenant Atassi. “Lieutenant. Would you be so kind as to bring an iced down keg of dark ale, tortilla chips for 10, jalapeno peppers and chunky salsa, plus about 25 kilos of peanuts?”
“Sir. Bring a keg of ale, tortilla chips, peppers, chunky salsa, and 25 kilos of peanuts. Sir, yes sir. Plastic cups all right?”
Brad nodded and Atassi hurried off.
Andrew looked at the retreating figure of the lieutenant and back at Brad. “I need to try that with Susan.”
“The moon is a cold and lonely place to be abandoned and rank doth has its privileges,” he stated.
Captain UmBllatt’s first officer had just finished placing the un-scrolled window scene on the wall of his room with some sticky tabs he had taken out of a small bag. The Captain was admiring the beautiful scenes of flowing savannah. It made him long to be a cub tromping across the plain. A hard knocking came to the door of his suite. He expected one of his crew but instead saw three humans. He was ashamed to admit he couldn’t tell them apart but he thought two might be Captain Andrew Williams and General Brad Kyger but why were they pushing a cart with six large boxes and a long tube on it. The third human pushed one of the large round, silver containers with a pump on top that UmBllatt had come to know as a beer keg.
This looked very promising to Captain UmBllatt so he turned to the third human and said, “Put that over there, Mack.” He had learned this honorific at his last trip here.
Brad and Andrew quickly unloaded the cart and asked UmBllatt, “Would you consider talking for a little while over some drink and snacks?”
This looks very promising, thought the Captain. “This is a good thing. In my guild, we find that more is accomplished at an informal setting than having a room full of high officials,” he said.
“It has been our experience also,” Brad said. “Lieutenant. Thank you. I will call if I need you.”
The lieutenant sighed and left with the empty cart. Good kid, Brad thought...lots of smarts and potential under the hood of that one. He turned and started opening the boxes and setting the contents around. UmBllatt and his two officers all came and pulled up seat props near them. The navigator pulled up a large prop and leaned against it.
Andrew got up, pumped the keg and then drew out five ales with a light
head – just right. “To good trade and long friendships. Uffa,” he said in poorly accented Ullumff.
“To gud frens. Cheer,” UmBllatt said in English and then drained his cup. When it was refilled and he started drinking a little slower, he turned to Andrew and Brad. “What do you need?”
Andrew knew this fellow was canny but he just reached over and pulled out the long tube. He drew out the old stellar chart. “We need advice from a fellow trader. Will you tell us where you are going after here and can you explain some of the customs?”
“We have an old saying, I did not come here to raise cubs.” He grabbed a monstrous mitt full of peanuts and shoved him into his mouth.
“We are planning our first trading trip and need your advice on where to go and where it is dangerous. We want to find out about where you go so we will not disrupt your trade,” Andrew said.
“Okay,” UmBllatt. “Traders do this for traders all the time. Realize though that many areas are unsafe and there are raiders sometimes.”
“We will have a military escort this trip,” Brad stated and UmBllatt looked thoughtful.
“Gud. First. You show me your planned route and I will advise,” UmBllatt said and the first officer and navigator pulled up to the spread out map.
Andrew noticed the chunky salsa was a hit as were the jalapenos and ale. The peanuts were disappearing fast also.
Brad and Andrew laid out the route and would point to various stars and UmBllatt and the navigator might talk for a second or flip through one of their manuals. Andrew was having his MemDex record it all and had used a behind the ear camera receiver to get the best views.
UmBllatt began to notice that Andrew could just point to a star and then could say the name and know a little about the system. Andrew was using the simple PointSpeak app to read and translate the words from Trade and give a phonetic pronunciation of proper names given on the star chart. UmBllatt released a vinegary smell.
