Herd to Handle

by Ginny Sterling

  “Both of those are good ideas.”

  “I’ve heard,” Abigail began in a hushed voice, causing Alice to lean forward excitedly to hear her words. Abigail could be so straight-laced sometimes but she had a mischievous streak to her that was inspiring. “…That men like women who wear scandalous things. Esperanza has a lace headpiece called a mantilla. It’s spread over your hair. You could wear something like that or maybe embroider your stockings. I know you like to sew.”

  Alice blinked and chewed her lip. Those were both good ideas but where would she get a lace headpiece, unless she asked to borrow Esperanza’s? She could try cooking Colton’s favorite meal, but that would involve her having the opportunity to ask him such a question. He seemed to be avoiding her at all costs. She already tried something scandalous but it went unnoticed. He would have to be present to see it, to boot! No, she would have to come up with something intriguing to lure her husband to her side.

  “Enough about me, tell me about Mason. I want to hear all the details,” Alice said brightly, seeing her sister flush happily.

  It was several more days before Alice tried anything else to entice her husband into talking with her or spending time with her. As she got up this morning, she heard Jacob running around the house and banging on her door. Opening it, she saw that there were two prepared plates sitting on the table for them. On one of the plates, a daisy lay beside it. Painfully, she pushed down the spark of hope that lit up in her heart. It was nothing and probably just a token because she’d put a flower on the table for him at one point.

  Her husband had made her coffee and toasted two slices of bread with cheese. Nothing notable or extraordinary, but it was manna from Heaven to Alice as she ate the meal. It was something she didn’t have to prepare and it looked like he’d already cleaned up his place setting for her.

  As the day wore on, Alice took Jacob down to the creek and spent the afternoon trying to catch some fish. It was hard to catch anything when the young boy kept pulling his line out of the water and throwing it back in. Eventually, they’d gotten a bite and Jacob’s squeal of delight was enough to scare anything else away. Alice found herself laughing happily as Jacob danced around, exclaiming at the fish.

  “Tishy! Tishy, Mama! Lookie!” he hollered excitedly and Alice caught her breath at his words. Jacob had called her his mother. It was both painful and wonderful at the same time. She ached for Grace’s loss as she would never have these moments with her son, but knew that if the woman was watching out for her young boy from Heaven- she’d be happy that Alice could love Jacob like her own.

  “I love you, Jacob,” Alice whispered softly, tousling his hair and kissing his forehead quickly. He threw his arms around her neck and gave her a moist kiss on the cheek that was infinitely precious. Maybe if she could win over this little wonder- then perhaps she could do the same with his father?

  Alice wished she knew where Colton was and how far his land extended. Was he working in another field? If this was what spring was like, how busy would he be at harvest? Was there a new set of things she would need to learn then?

  She and Jacob stayed for a few more hours, knowing that Colton would avoid the house until it was almost bedtime. It had become a pattern between them that was easily recognizable now. If she got up early, he was gone. If she stayed up late, he was gone. There were no more doubts- Colton was avoiding her and she didn’t understand why.

  Eventually, the duo walked back to the house and Alice began preparing the fish, much to Jacob’s horror. He balked at her cleaning the fish and began to cry at the first cut. He yelled out ‘noooo mama’ over and over again. Alice gave him a cookie and ushered him into his bedroom while she made quick work of it, making the filets unrecognizable as the fish that Jacob had danced around with on the bank of the creek earlier.

  To avoid the unnecessary questions of where the fish had disappeared to, Alice had Jacob help her make a pie. Her grandmother used to make a custard pie when she was a girl, allowing her to crack the eggs and stir the spoon. She didn’t have a recipe from Prudence for this, but her memory served her well. Three eggs, some sugar, some salt, a bit of vanilla and butter. It couldn’t be that hard.

  Scooping up the butter and putting it into a large bowl, she let Jacob crack the eggs and picked out the pieces of shell. He was back to being excited again and she almost smiled. If only he knew what the eggs would grow up to be, she thought, smothering a smile. She opened the small tin of sugar and realized that it looked just like the salt. She hadn’t paid attention to that before. Shrugging, she put a little of each in the bowl.

  “Stir it up good, Jacob. I’ll be right back, sweetie.”

  Alice walked into her room to grab an apron that she’d hung on a peg by the doorway. As she stepped inside, she stopped. There on the bed was a brown paper package tied with string. Walking over to it, she hesitated.

  Was this a mistake?

  Pulling the string, she carefully unwrapped the package trying not to tear anything. If it was a mistake, she’d tie it right back up and feign ignorance. She used to do it as a girl at Christmastime, she could certainly do it again! Unwrapping presents satisfied her curiosity as she never could stand the wait. Thank goodness Abigail never caught her snooping!

  As the paper gave way, Alice held up the material lovingly. Inside was a beautiful day dress and chemise. The dress was a considerate luxury but the chemise was an intimate reminder of her failed attempt to tempt her husband.

  But was it an actual failure? This was an awfully personal gift for someone. As she held up the dress, she noticed it was a serviceable gingham that would do nicely. The chemise was a lot more elegant than anything she’d ever worn in her life. There were yards and yards of lace sewn onto the material with delicate pleating just over the bodice. Blushing, Alice realized that Colton had left this for her at some point today while she’d been out.

  Maybe he was trying to reach out to her too?

  “Mama? You ready?”

  “Coming Jacob!”

  Alice called out and immediately put the dress and chemise back onto the bed. She grabbed the apron and put it over her head, tying it around her back. She needed to make a pie crust and it was sure to be a mess. Doing laundry for a second time today was not an idea she relished. Jacob had gotten so much better at staying clean for longer periods of time that it was encouraging.

  As Alice kneaded the dough and pressed it into the pie tin, she couldn’t help the smile that was on her face thinking of the unexpected gift from Colton. Perhaps she would simply wait up for him again to see if he wanted to talk. She’d take that page from her parents and use a slice of pie as an olive branch.

  It was late before Colton arrived. Alice had been sitting at the table for some time and was ready to nod off from exhaustion. She had their place settings ready for dinner and hadn’t touched her own yet. She wanted to have a real meal with him and talk. She wanted to see his eyes sparkle and that upturned smile that made his lips curl, revealing a slight dimple in his cheek. Sighing wistfully, she heard steps on the front porch and jumped to her feet. The door opened and her husband hesitated for a moment.

  “It’s late,” he said simply. “Is something wrong?”

  “Not at all. I thought we might have dinner together.”

  “Jacob’s asleep?”

  “He always is when you come home this late,” Alice answered honestly and saw Colton’s frown. She didn’t mean to chastise him but it was the truth. “He misses you and hasn’t seen much of you lately. Sit down and I’ll make your plate.”

  “That’s okay. I can just go to bed.”

  “Are you running away from me again?”

  Colton’s spine snapped to attention as her words hung in the air. His jaw clenched repeatedly and Alice was almost sure she’d overstepped her boundaries- until he took a seat at the table silently. She didn’t say a word but moved to fill his plate with the sliced ham, some stewed fruit, and pea salad that Prudence had recommended last week. Jac
ob had loved opening the pea pods and helped her prepare it.

  Alice made her own plate and took a seat. The lamp oil flickered between them as neither moved, but Colton would not meet her eyes. She felt a wave of frustration start to bubble inside of her and quickly tamped it down. She would not give up! She may have lost battles with him, but she would soon be victorious!

  “Is it so hard to talk to me?”

  “I’m not sure what to talk about.”

  “You could look at me.”

  “Alice…”

  “What did you do today? How big is your land? What field were you working on today? Can I help you somehow?” she blurted out softly, extending her hand towards his where it rested on the table. She half expected him to pull away, but instead he caught her fingers with his own. Looking up, she saw him watching her and smiled.

  “Was that so very hard?”

  “The seeding and planting are done,” he admitted softly, staring at her. “I spent the day in the barn.”

  “Oh? Were you working with the animals?”

  “No. I was hiding and taking a nap.”

  “Hiding? From what?” she asked, dumbfounded, and then it struck her. Colton was in fact actually staying away from her and had admitted as much!

  “Why?” she whispered painfully. “What have I done?”

  “Done? You don’t have to do anything.”

  “Are we so broken that we can’t be friends?”

  “I don’t think we should be only friends but the idea...” Colton’s voice trailed off as he swallowed hard, still watching her. Alice felt tears of rejection burning her eyes as her mind rolled with confusion.

  “I don’t understand why you’d marry me and then shun me.”

  “I married you because you are special.”

  “But you just said…”

  “Alice, I want to be more than friends but I want to give you time to learn to like your new home,” he explained. “It devastated me to see you crying after you married me. I just want you to be happy.”

  “I’d be happy if you were a part of my life,” she admitted. “You’ve been gone so much and we will forever be strangers if we don’t talk things through.”

  “True.”

  “Then why are you avoiding me?”

  “Because when I see you smiling at me or looking at me- I want to kiss you.”

  “Would that be so very terrible? We are married.”

  “We are.”

  Neither said a word, they just sat there holding a single hand as if it was a lifeline between them. A tenuous bond between them. Her stomach gave a painful rumble just then, making him chuckle.

  “Maybe we should eat?”

  “I don’t want to be finished with our conversation.”

  “We could talk over dessert,” he hinted, smiling, and pointed at the pie nearby. “And you could tell me what happened to the table.”

  Alice laughed merrily, feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment.

  “Let’s not talk about the table and yes, we’ll talk over a slice of pie.”

  They ate quietly, chatting a bit in between the bites of food. Alice was mesmerized with Colton’s features and the way he cocked his head to the side when he smiled. She felt her heart swell with emotion and realized how very blessed she was to have quite figuratively bumped into him in the street. She would thank Chance Redburn every time she saw him for pairing the two of them together. Alice just wished that she and Abigail had the wedding that they’d dreamt of as little girls.

  “What’s on your mind? You were smiling and now you aren’t.”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Shall I serve the pie and you can tell me?”

  “I’ll get it,” she countered, quickly getting to her feet. Getting a knife, she quickly cut a wedge and noticed that it wasn’t quite set up yet. It was firm, but still a little soft. Alice wasn’t able to fish it out of the pie pan from this angle. She got up and walked around the table to stand beside Colton. Nervously, she managed to get the slice out of the tin and placed it on his plate. She could feel his eyes on her and refrained from breathing in his scent. A mix of hay, trees, sunshine, and just him.

  “You have the most beautiful eyes,” Colton whispered, causing Alice to glance up at him. She didn’t move as he reached up to cup her face tenderly. “Tell me what you were thinking about a moment ago. You have the most expressive eyes and I find it fascinating.”

  “I was wishing that we were married under different circumstances,” she whispered and saw him flinch painfully. His hand dropped away from her face and Alice realized what she’d said.

  “You misunderstand me, Colton!”

  Grasping at his hand, she quickly took a seat beside him. Putting his hand back onto her cheek, she smiled at him earnestly.

  “I meant that our wedding felt rushed. I always dreamt of a double wedding with my sister. As little girls, we wanted to walk down the aisle and celebrate the fact that we both fell in love with someone special.”

  Alice felt Colton’s hand tense ever so slightly as his eyes blazed and held hers. She felt him lean towards her and knew he was going to kiss her again. This was the thing she’d dreamt of! He stopped mere inches from her and she could feel his breath against her lips.

  “I love you too, Alice… very much so.”

  “You do?”

  “I want you to have that special wedding,” he whispered huskily, his other hand reaching up to cup her face. His thumb brushed against her cheek, near her lips. “I want you to feel married to me so there are no doubts, no mistakes, no fear between us. You are my wife and I will forever be your husband.”

  “I would love that,” she admitted, feeling emotional. “I want to have that moment with my sister. We’ve had so much that has driven us apart and I need that connection with her. Would you mind terribly if I spoke with her about it?”

  “Not at all, my love. We’ll make it happen. We can go together and talk with her. When your sister marries her beau, I would be happy to renew our vows. I would marry you over and over again, my sweet Alice.”

  Alice felt her heart surge in delight as his lips finally met hers. It had been so very long since he’d kissed her. She could feel every bit of his emotion in that moment; it was a sweet yet possessive kiss. She would always belong to this man happily. Colton held her tenderly for what seemed like forever and then cradled her against him, in his arms. He stroked her hair and dropped a kiss on her forehead.

  “You know,” he said huskily, his voice full of humor. “I don’t think the pie is quite right.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I can eat tough stringy meat, crunchy kidney beans, or soupy oatmeal, but I really think its best we don’t eat that,” he teased gently, pointing at the plate.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You don’t smell that?”

  “I thought that was you?”

  “I smell?”

  “Well I don’t know!”

  “The eggs have turned,” Colton said with that upturned smile she adored so much. “I appreciate the effort, but if you sniff the slice of pie that you just cut- you’ll smell a pungent scent to it.”

  “That was probably the salt”

  “You put salt in the pie?”

  “Only a bit.”

  “How much is a bit?”

  “Maybe a half a cup?”

  “I’m definitely not eating it,” Colton announced laughing as he pulled her into his arms. Instead of being upset, Alice threw her arms around his waist and pressed her ear to his chest. The sound of his laughter washed away any embarrassment or irritation she might have felt. The sound of his heart beating under her cheek, reaffirmed that she was loved and welcomed here.

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you for taking the time to read Herd to Handle. If you enjoyed it, please consider telling your friends or posting a short review. Doesn’t have to be much, just a simple rating and a few kind words work wonders. Your thoughts, opinions an
d feedback are much appreciated.

  Sincerely,

  Ginny Sterling

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