by Margaret Kay
“Maybe,” Doc replied. “But they will cook them while we do the remainder of our shopping. Do you like pecans and perch? That’s the only question.”
“I’m sure they will be very good.”
Doc placed the order. They would be ready and packaged in fifteen minutes. “Okay, now a couple of sides, then we’ll go over by the breakfast stuff.”
At the sides bar he picked a couple of twice-baked potatoes and a hot fresh vegetable medley in a light butter sauce. He loaded the containers into the hand basket he carried.
She paused, checking the price for each container. Her eyes met his. “I’ll pay for half of everything we buy. My wallet is in my backpack in the car though, so I’ll have to pay you later.”
Doc breathed out a frustrated sigh. “Elizabeth, you are not paying half of anything. I’ve got this.” He knew they’d have to talk about living arrangements and finances. He knew her financial situation. She had to understand that he wouldn’t expect her to pay for anything. He had more than enough money to take care of them both and the baby after it came.
Elizabeth didn’t understand Alexander’s tone of voice. Why wasn’t he pleased that she would pitch in her half of the expenses? She didn’t want him to be upset with her after he had so kindly asked her to stay and file a real marriage license. “Okay, thank you.”
Doc also loaded an expensive container of cleaned fresh fruit into the basket as well as a dozen eggs, a loaf of nine grain bread, a gallon of overpriced organic milk, and a package of turkey sausage. Then they went back to the deli counter and picked up their prepared fish. Elizabeth had to admit it smelled very good.
They checked out. The total bill for these few items was larger than what she normally spent on an entire week’s groceries. Elizabeth watched Alexander pay with a debit card. She never had one. She didn’t have a bank account either, paid cash for whatever she needed. It was easier that way.
Then they climbed back into his car and drove the five minutes to his condo complex. He parked in the attached one-car garage and they entered through the interior door that led into the kitchen. She watched him enter a code into the security system.
“I’ll get you set up with your own code tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” she muttered, confused by this too.
Her eyes then swept the interior of his home. The kitchen was small but had nice stainless-steel appliances, granite countertops, and dark gray cabinets. A small table and chairs sat at the far end. He sat the backpacks onto the floor near the table and then took the grocery bags from her and sat them onto the counter. He unpacked the contents. She watched him put the fish and sides onto the table. Everything else went into the refrigerator. He grabbed two water bottles from the fridge and sat them on the table too. Then he opened a cabinet and drawers, getting plates and silverware.
He motioned to the table.
She smiled and followed him over. From the table, she saw into his living room. It was a manly room, with black leather couches and black glass tables. The walls were painted white with several black frames with pictures of lakes and streams with fishermen. On a large five shelf bookshelf near the front door sat a bunch of fishing gear. A small smile came to her lips as her eyes scanned the room. “This is nice. It’s what I would picture your house to look like, knowing you.”
Doc chuckled. “I’ll have to find a different place for my fishing gear.”
“You don’t need to change anything for me, Alexander. I don’t take up much space.”
Yeah, they needed to have a talk about living arrangements, finances, a lot of things. He served up the dinner onto the plates and slid one over to her. He picked up his fork, but noticed she bowed her head. She remained quiet, but he knew she was silently saying a blessing. “Did you want to say that blessing aloud?”
She smiled. “Some habits remain, I guess. God, thank you for this food and for Alexander’s kindness. Thank you for allowing me to safely make it to him to share the joyous news of the new life. We thank you in the name of Your son, Jesus Christ, Amen.”
When she finished, she gazed into Alexander’s eyes.
He reached across the table and took hold of her hand. “It’s going to take time for us to be comfortable, you know. But I want you to be who you are. If you want us to say grace before a meal, we’ll say grace.”
“Thank you. And I’m sorry this is so awkward.” Her eyes shifted to their joined hands. She liked the feeling of him holding her hand, liked the connection to him. She had missed him since Africa.
“It’ll get easier.” He released her hand and took a bite of his food. After several quiet moments of them both just eating, he took a drink of water and then continued. “I’ll clear a few drawers for you in my dresser and make some room in the closet for you too until we can get to the store and buy you your own dresser. Will we have to make a trip to Seattle to get your things or will someone send them to you?”
She pointed to her backpack. “There are no things. Everything I own is in my bag.”
“Everything?”
“Yes,” she said with a small smile. “I don’t need much, have never had much in the way of material things. I will need to use some laundry facilities though, maybe tomorrow.”
Doc pointed to the bi-fold closet doors on the wall farthest from the door to the garage. “Washer and dryer are in there.”
“How very nice that you have your own facilities in your home.” She smiled awkwardly.
“Our home, Elizabeth. Please try to think of this as ours.”
She forced a smile. He knew it was forced.
“I’ve never had much. It has never bothered me, except when people have offered me charity. That was one of the things that drew me to the Sisters of Mercy. I thought I was being called to be a Sister, but I know it was just being accepted and being with others who didn’t have anything material to speak of. It was a wonderful family where I felt accepted and cared for. The facilities were owned by no one and by all of us at the same time. I was given a room, but I never felt like it was mine. It was part of the collective, identical in most ways to everyone else’s rooms.”
“I’m not offering you charity. You do understand that, don’t you?”
“I don’t want to be a burden to you. I don’t expect you to pay for everything for me. I plan to get a job and contribute fully.”
Doc ran his hand over his tense neck. “We have great hospitals, medical centers, and private practices in the area. Will you get your nursing license here in Illinois?”
“I was working on getting my Continuing Education Credits up to date in Seattle, before I realized I was pregnant. I was in Africa for just under four years. I’m way behind.”
“You know, Elizabeth, you are a hell of a lot better than a CNA. During this pregnancy would be the perfect time to go back to school full time and get your RN or go even further if you want. We have some of the best nursing and medical schools in the country in the Chicago area. There are three extension campuses located right near the office.”
Elizabeth bit her lower lip. “That takes money, which I don’t have, and I don’t want to take out any student loans.”
“Elizabeth, I have enough money for us both. I’d see it as an investment in your future earning potential and an investment in your happiness. Happy momma, happy baby.”
Elizabeth laughed out loud, feeling more at ease than she had since she arrived in Chicago. “I can work, and I plan to while I’m reestablishing my nursing license here.”
“Where are you thinking?” Doc asked as he helped himself to another serving of vegetables. He held the spoon out, offering her more as well.
She smiled and nodded. “There are a lot of restaurants in this area, certainly I can get a job waiting tables at one of them.”
“Absolutely not,” Doc replied without thinking about it. Her surprised expression shocked him. “I mean, oh, honey,” he said. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound like a snob, but no wife of mine is going to work tha
t hard on her feet while pregnant with my child. Damn-it, Elizabeth, I can afford for you to have an easier life than that.”
“Thank you. I appreciate the thought, but I didn’t come here to take advantage of you financially.”
“I would never think you capable of taking advantage of me in any way. Let me make your life easier. That’s all I want to do.”
“You are a good man, Alexander Williams. Of course, I knew that about you when I first met you and you wouldn’t risk those boys' lives.” She paused and smiled a warm grin at him. “We have a few days before you leave for work. Can we talk about this later, when maybe it’s a bit more comfortable between us?”
“Absolutely,” Doc agreed. He hoped in a few days she would understand he could afford to support her, and she’d relax about money.
“So, Angel and Jackson had a good obstetrician. I’d like you to see the same doctor.”
She nodded. “Sure, whatever you want.”
Her agreeableness was starting to annoy Doc. Where was the little spitfire who argued with him in Africa? “Have you seen an obstetrician yet?”
She nodded. “Sister Abigale is a doctor at the free clinic. I saw her once to confirm the pregnancy.”
“Once?” He asked. Only once? And she was nearly three months pregnant! His head was about to explode.
“There isn’t much that needs to be done the first few months.”
“You are taking prenatal vitamins, aren’t you?” Doc was careful to keep his tone even.
“Of course, I am. She’s a good doctor.”
“I’m sure she’s very competent. I just want the best for you.”
She was quiet for a moment. “I know this is very awkward, for us both. But I have faith that as we get to know each other better, it will get more comfortable. We went through something together that few others have ever had to face, and I can’t help but believe that experience will pave the way for us to work out okay.”
Doc nodded. That and a hell of a lot of therapy. Lassiter was about to give up on him, he knew that. The last few months had been hell on Earth for him, the memories and regrets overwhelming him. And now this. An instant wife and a baby on the way. But he knew this was the right thing to do, for Elizabeth. And honestly, the thought of not being with her through this pregnancy and maybe missing out on the birth of his child, was unbearable. If he didn’t have her here with him, he knew he would regret it for the rest of his life and no amount of therapy would ever help him resolve that.
Doc rose and did the only thing that felt right. He went to her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Then he pulled her to her feet and embraced her. “I believe that too. I ask that you have patience with me.”
“Of course,” she agreed. She didn’t understand why he’d ask but then remembered him saying he had a past that haunted him. He’d also said that how he treated her was on him, not her. She hoped in time, he’d open up and trust her enough to tell her.
Lima
After they cleaned up the dishes, Doc gave her a tour of his condo. It was a small place. It was a short tour. It had one full bathroom, with a tub and shower and one bedroom. He brought her backpack in and sat it on the bench at the foot of the king-sized bed. The walls were a pale light gray, the floor the same dark gray hard wood as the rest of the condo. A comforter was spread over the large bed. It was black. There were no pictures on the walls of his bedroom.
“I’ll let you have the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch,” Doc said unsure of how to handle this.
“I’m not going to take your bed,” she insisted. “Besides, it looks big enough for us both, unless you don’t want to lay with me, and if that’s the case, I’ll take the couch.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to sleep with you. I didn’t want to assume anything.”
She laughed sarcastically. “Alexander, I’m pregnant with your child. Why would you think I wouldn’t want to share a bed with you? Besides, am I or am I not your wife? Or is that going to be in name only? Because you felt you needed to do the right thing?”
Doc embraced her and held her while he tried to come up with the right words. This had gone poorly so far. “Elizabeth, I’m not going to take advantage of you. Marrying you is the right thing to do. We’re having a child together and you are Catholic. I want to be here for you. I want us to experience this together. I won’t abandon you. As far as our relationship, let’s see how it plays out, how it develops. What I will promise you is that I will give it my all. I will be honest with you and I will do my best to be the partner you want and need.”
Well, that was a lot more than she would have asked for. “Thank you, Alexander. That means a lot to me. I honestly had no expectations when I came here. I just thought you had the right to know.”
“You had to hope I’d at least take responsibility.”
“I did. I hoped you would, but I wouldn’t have forced it on you. I’m not afraid of the thought of raising this child alone.”
“You’re not going to be raising this child alone. I promise I’ll be here.”
She felt new tears forming in her eyes. He was a good man, and she felt so much gratitude that he would be there for her. “I’m curious. You haven’t asked for proof that I’m pregnant or that it’s yours.”
Doc smiled at that. “I trust you. You would never lie about anything. If you say you’re pregnant and its mine, I fully believe it. Besides, I know we made love without any protection.”
“I’m not sorry about that. There is a life inside me, a life we created. Maybe this was God’s plan for me all along, and maybe yours too.”
Doc nodded. “Yeah, maybe.”
“If it’s all right with you, I’m going to lay down now. I didn’t sleep so great on the train and I’m tired.”
“Of course,” Doc said.
“Will you lay down with me?”
“Are you sure?” He asked uncertain if it was really the best thing to do or not.
She nodded yes. “I’m cold. I remember on the flight back. I was so cold, and you held me, which warmed me up.” And made me feel safe and cared for, she thought but wouldn’t vocalize. Besides, they were married. Why wouldn’t they share a bed? She didn’t understand his reluctance.
Doc stepped into her and wrapped his arms around her. He kicked himself for not realizing she might be tired and cold. She’d spent nearly two days on a train and her coat was thin, too thin for Chicago winters. He’d have to buy her a new one before he left too. He added that to the growing to-do list in his head.
Doc turned the heated mattress pad on while she was using the bathroom. When she reentered the room, she wore a pair of flannel pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt. His lips tugged into a frown. Wearing that, she looked even younger. Holy hell. “I turned the mattress pad on to heat the bed up for you.”
“A heated mattress pad, wow, that’s pretty cool,” she said with a smile. She didn’t know they made such things. She pointed to the side of the bed with the nightstand. “I assume this is your side?”
He nodded and watched her walk to the foot of the bed, intending to go to the other side. He pulled the comforter and sheet back. “Why don’t you slide in this side and just leave me enough room to join you.”
She smiled wide, a genuine smile. “Thank you, Alexander.” She crawled in and stopped near the middle of the bed.
He viewed her, her beautiful blue eyes sparkling with delight, a happy smile on her face. He still could not reconcile that she looked like a child. Twenty-four years old, he repeated in his head. And just because he was going to lay with her, didn’t mean he was going to have sex with her.
He stripped his heavy flannel shirt off, leaving the t-shirt he wore beneath, and then he set his gun and his cell phone onto his nightstand and plugged the phone in to charge. His flannel sleeping pants were at the foot of the bed where he’d left them that morning. He turned his back to her, dropped his jeans and shorts, and pulled his sleeping pants on. Then he reclined. He rolled to his side a
nd gazed into her face. He allowed himself to think about how beautiful a baby would be with her eyes, her freckles.
“I can already feel the bed heating,” she said. “I guess I didn’t realize how cold it is here in Chicago, compared to Seattle.”
“Yes. Now through March is the coldest part of the winter. I noticed your coat is thin. We’ll go shopping and get you some warmer clothes this weekend.” He saw in her eyes that she was about to protest that he would spend money on her. “And don’t even argue with me about this. You need a warm coat and heavy clothes to make it through a Chicago winter. Let me buy what you need. Tomorrow we’ll swing by the bank and add you to my bank accounts too. Maybe when you see how much I have in my account you will relax.”
She shook her head, not liking it. “A thrift store or a Goodwill Store shouldn’t be too expensive.”
