by Margaret Kay
Doc wasn’t sure what he would have to do for her to realize that how she was used to living, was below the poverty level. It wasn’t how he lived nor was it how he would have the woman carrying his child live. “When we go shopping just promise me you won’t look at any price tags. You’ll buy what you like.”
“Alexander, please understand. I don’t want to be a burden.”
“Aww, honey, you aren’t a burden. Let me buy you things and spoil you. I want you to have everything you’ve never had, things you deserve. I make a good living and can afford to. Besides, when this baby comes, I’ll be buying him or her more than you can imagine.”
“This child will be very lucky just to have you in its life. Just as I am. You are my hero, Alexander.”
“Stop right there, honey, I’m not a hero.”
“You’re my hero. You stayed with me to help those two boys. The others would have forced me to leave and would have endangered or killed those boys by moving them when it wasn’t medically safe to do so. And after we were captured, you definitely were my hero. I lost my faith, was sure we would both die horrible deaths. That confirmed for me that leaving the Sisterhood was the right thing for me to do. It could have been a moment that my faith returned, and I trusted in God, but I didn’t.”
“It looked dark. I was sure we were going to be killed too. I’ve been in a lot of tight situations over the years, but this was the first time I accepted I was going to die.”
“That was the only reason you slept with me, wasn’t it? I know you’re not attracted to me; know you didn’t want to.” There, she said it. She knew that was the reason he had not wanted to lie down with her, why he hadn’t wanted her with him after they were rescued.
Doc closed his eyes. He wasn’t ready to have this conversation with her. He considered his words carefully. “Your first time should have been with someone you loved. I felt as though I took advantage of you.”
“You didn’t take advantage of me. You did as I asked, as I begged. And as far as the part about someone I love, I know I can grow to love you. You are a good man, Alexander, and you have been kind to me. Maybe I’m naïve, but if we both love this child, how can we not have feelings for each other?”
Doc’s heart felt full at that moment; in a way it hadn’t felt in years. “You are not naïve. You are right on about that one. And let’s get one thing straight. I am attracted to you. You are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.”
And with that statement he did the only thing that made sense. He kissed her, really kissed her. Even as his tongue penetrated her lips, he told himself he’d stop, he wouldn’t make love to her. Soon, his thoughts went blank and all he focused on was how good it felt to kiss her, how good it felt for his hands to caress over her, to feel her frame pulled in tightly against his. Her age no longer mattered, nor did he think about the fact that she’d only had sex one time before, with him. His self-loathing for taking advantage of her vanished, and he did what felt right. He stripped her clothes away, and he made love to her, slowly, deliberately, passionately.
Elizabeth’s nerves calmed as they kissed. She loved the feeling of Alexander holding her. And when he began to disrobe her, she was excited that she would again know what it felt like to have him touch her intimately. She wanted their marriage to be real. She wanted to know that he could love her and when he kissed her and touched her this way, she felt he could. Over the past few months, she had dreamed about another romantic interlude as she reveled in the memories of the love they made in Africa.
Very quickly, she found herself panting, the sensations from his touch incredible. His lips left hers and he kissed her everywhere, down her neck, over her breasts. His fingers were between her legs, bringing her pleasure that before they had made love in Africa, she didn’t know could exist. His lips trailed kisses down her abdomen. He kissed the inside of each thigh that he pressed apart. She gasped out; the sensation overwhelming.
Doc held her long after he had made love to her. This time, thoughts of Victoria didn’t assault him. He stroked over Elizabeth’s long, soft hair, held her body against his, feeling the difference the pregnancy had brought. Her breasts were fuller, her hips and rear womanlier, and then there was the tummy, already protruding a little with the life inside her.
He wasn’t sure how comfortable the blue jeans were that she wore. They looked tight. She’d need maternity clothes soon. He’d take her to the mall the next day and go shopping. She would not be getting any of her clothes at Goodwill or the Salvation Army stores. He smiled to himself at the thought of spoiling her with all the new clothes she needed.
Holding her and making love to her had been the least awkward moments since being reunited. For the first time since Africa, Doc drifted off to sleep easily. He slept well all night, another state that had escaped him the past few months.
The next morning, they woke to the sound of the snowplow. The yellow flashing lights invaded the room through the edges of the shades over the bedroom windows. After Doc explained to her what it was, he watched her jump out of bed, hastily pull her clothes on, and rush to the window. She pulled the curtains and opened the blinds. Then she stared out with hypnotic fascination. Big flakes were driven sideways by the wind. Elizabeth had only seen snow a few times before in her life, but nothing like the snowstorm that was raging outside the window.
“Wow, there’s already a lot on the ground,” she said excitedly.
Doc had forgotten it was in the forecast. He sat up and gazed at her. Her face was lit with enthusiasm and with the first light of the day, which was diffused through the snowstorm. She was beautiful, bright blue eyes, clear, creamy white skin, and hair that he knew was soft to the touch. Yeah, and she was way too young.
He held a hand out to her. “Close the blinds and come back to bed.”
She smiled and did so right away. Doc helped her to resettle in bed, propped up in a sitting position. He tucked the covers around her. Then he pulled on a warm base layer shirt and his sleeping pants. He grabbed his phone and weapon from the bedside table, shoving them into the deep pants pockets. Her eyes followed his movements. He saw the unasked questions play over her face. He knew they had to discuss his job.
“I’m going to use the bathroom and then get us a cup of herbal tea. I’ll only be a few minutes.”
When he returned, she sat with her legs pretzeled beneath her where he’d left her, even though he heard her use the bathroom while he brewed the tea. He handed her cup to her. He sat his cup on the nightstand and then sat his gun, phone, and his wallet containing his FBI ID and badge beside it. Then he sat in front of her, facing her, his bent leg pressing against hers.
Her eyes were still on his gun and phone.
“We need to talk about that,” he said.
Her eyes came to his, and she nodded.
“I am required to be armed at all times, for my job. Even in establishments that say no gun, I carry concealed. And I am always required to be available via phone, as well. I take them into the bathroom with me, sit them on a shelf beside the shower, sleep with them next to my bed as you noticed.”
“So, you’re basically on call twenty-four hours a day, every day?”
“Yes and no. If we’re not away on a mission, we have dedicated times we know our team is on call and can request days or times that we are truly off, like for all your doctor visits, when we book childbirth classes, and when we have this baby. Those times will be blocked so I won’t be on call. But some things that go down are so big we get scrambled regardless if our team is up or not. That’s why I keep a basic medical kit with me always as well. Often, we meet at one of our airfields and someone from the office brings the weapons and ammo, our body armor, anything we may need.”
She was almost afraid to ask the questions that ran through her mind.
“What we do is top secret. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can know. You can never tell a friend or a family member. You can only talk about it with those associated with the t
eam like Angel or Garcia’s girlfriend, Sienna. I want you to meet her before we go on this next mission. She and Angel will be good support for you while I’m away.”
“Who exactly are you? Sister Bernice John referred to you as paramilitary. I don’t understand what that means though.”
“We all came from regular military, special forces mostly. Officially we are no longer active duty, but we did take the same oath and we do interface directly with our regular military, as you saw at the bases in Djibouti and at Andrews. We get sanctioned through regular military channels, but we act independently and take on jobs that often our regular military aren’t allowed to.”
“Like mercenaries?”
“No, more like a private security team.” He grabbed his wallet. “We also all carry official US Federal credentials.” He opened it and showed her his badge and FBI ID.
“Is that real?”
Doc nodded. “It was issued by the FBI and stands up to any scrutiny. It’s what allows us to carry concealed even in bars and schools where guns are banned.”
“So, you’re an FBI Agent?”
“On paper only to give us some official standing while operating domestically.”
If Elizabeth thought she understood, that feeling quickly slipped away. “Can you arrest people?”
Doc nodded. “Yes, and if I’m in a jam, the Deputy Director of the FBI will vouch for me, officially citing that I am assigned to a special task force.”
“Does everyone who works at Shepherd Security have an FBI badge?”
“Just the Operators.” He saw her confusion at that word. “Just those of us who operate in the field, but we all carry different federal credentials. Cooper carries CIA creds, Jackson and Garcia both have DEA badges.”
“Madison is one of these Operators?” She asked.
“Yeah, she carries FBI creds too.” He watched her process that. “I holster my gun either on my hip, in the small of my back, or in a boot. Try to remember that so you don’t feel it and react when we are in public. And if I ever have to draw my weapon and you’re with me, I need you to know that it is a dire situation and you have to do exactly what I tell you, be that drop to the ground, get behind me, or run.”
She nodded nervously. She wondered how often that would happen.
“And I want to teach you to shoot and handle a weapon so you’re comfortable with it. Then we’ll work on getting you your concealed carry license. I’ll want you to be armed at all times to protect yourself and our child when I’m not with you.”
“Protect me from what?”
Doc blew out a heavy breath. “Elizabeth, the dangers that are out there, that most people don’t know about could find you. I just want you safe at all times.”
She didn’t understand what that meant. “Does Angel carry a gun?”
“Yes, and she knows how to use it very well.”
This sent chills down Elizabeth’s spine. “Will your job put me in danger?” Her voice was a mere whisper.
“It could. But it also gives us a lot of tools to keep you safe. My car is monitored in our Operations Center and the key fobs have panic buttons that will alert Ops too. We have a state-of-the-art security system installed here in the condo, and at every team member’s residence. If you’re in danger when you enter, all you have to do is enter the code one-two-three-four, and Ops is alerted. There will be a half dozen armed agents coming through the door in minutes. That would be one of those situations if I’m off I would get scrambled for, to help a team member in danger.”
He could tell she had nearly hit overload. He took his cup and sipped his tea.
Then he continued, to wrap up the last of what he thought she needed to know. “The special, secure phone the office will issue to you will allow us to talk when I am away. Our Operations Center will always know where it is because it is monitored. Often, when Jackson is away, Angel stays at the office. There is an apartment on the ninth floor as well as a guest room in Shepherd’s penthouse. If you ever didn’t want to be here, or if we fear there is a credible threat against you, you would stay there. But on average, no, my job won’t put you in danger.”
She stared fearfully at him.
“I promise, it will be a rarity that my job will put you in danger. I just want you to be aware of these things.”
She took another drink of her tea.
“Talk to me Elizabeth. What are you thinking?” He asked after a minute had passed.
“I don’t know how I feel about being tracked by your office through my phone.”
“It’s not to invade your privacy. It’s to keep you safe and give me peace of mind when I’m on a mission. We’re like a big family, Elizabeth. It’s just a way for the family to watch out for you.”
If she disliked the idea of her phone being tracked, she was going to hate the tracker he wanted to install in her shoulder. He’d save that discussion for later when they were at the office. He watched her take a long sip from her cup. Then she sat it onto the nightstand. The cup was empty.
“I didn’t even ask you, are you having any morning sickness?”
“I did for about a month. It wasn’t too bad as long as I had some tea or nibbled on some crackers as soon as I woke up.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to make you your tea. I just want to take care of you Elizabeth.”
She gazed deeply into his beautiful, pale gray eyes. Then her eyes wandered over his chiseled, manly face. “If we have a boy, I hope he is as attractive as you are and is as kind.” She leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Her fingers traced over his cheeks. “I can be okay with all of this. Just give me a little time to get used to it.”
His lips tugged into a grin. “I know you can. The other women will help you too.”
“Are there any other wives or girlfriends?”
“No, just Angel and Sienna, and of course Madison.”
“Madison? She’s one of you.”
“Yes, and she’ll be a good friend and give support to you too. She is married to Cooper, so that makes her one of the wives.”
“They’re married?” Elizabeth asked. Wow, that was a surprise. “I would never have guessed that.”
“Yeah, they met when we hired her to be our first female Operator about a year and a half ago.”
“So, your teammates are your friends, outside of work?”
Doc smiled. “Yeah, best friends, more than that, they’re like brothers. We spend a lot of time together when we’re off duty. That’s why I want you to meet Sienna right away too.” He was thoughtful for a few quiet seconds. “We might want to consider moving over near them. Jackson and Garcia live in townhouses in the same complex, across the street from each other.”
“You want to move? But this is your home.”
Doc smiled wider. “We’ll be okay here until the baby is maybe six months old, but we’ll need a bigger place so this baby can have its own room.”
“This home is very nice, Alexander. It has enough space. Kids just need love and caring parents. They don’t need their own room.”
He took hold of her hands. “This place is fine for one or two of us. Kids do need their own room, a yard to play in, a playground in the area. The townhouse complex they live in is a great kid-friendly neighborhood. There is a pool and playground, sidewalks, and an elementary school in walking distance. This complex doesn’t have any of those things. We can watch for a good unit to come on the market and take our time. I’m not saying I want to buy a new place tomorrow.”
Elizabeth and her brother Bobby never had their own rooms, never had any of those things that Alexander thought were needed. They grew up in a one-bedroom apartment in a bad neighborhood. She slept sometimes in the tiny bedroom with either her mom or Bobby. Sometimes she slept on the couch or the floor.
She pushed through the memories and thought about being able to provide to her child those things Alexander said were important. She wanted him or her to have a better life, an easier life than she had had.
She never wanted her child to feel ashamed when strangers gave them charity. She especially wanted to be able to buy her child Christmas gifts and not be listed on a giving tree at some church.
“Elizabeth, talk to me. Why do you look sad?”
“Not sad, hopeful,” she said. “But at the same time, I don’t want you to think you have to buy a bigger place because of me and this baby. This baby will be lucky, no matter where we live because he or she will have you as a father.”
Doc kissed her. This time it was a deep, passionate kiss. He knew he was going to make love to her again, but he also wanted to finish this conversation. Just as he was about to lay her down, he pulled away just a few inches.
“This baby will be very lucky to have you as a mom. And I want only the best for the two of you. Living near Jackson and Garcia will be a good environment for all of us. But we have some time. We don’t need to rush it.”
