by Sarah Noffke
With nothing keeping them afloat, Sophia and Lunis dropped next to Lee with a thud. Sophia’s chin slammed into Lunis, and she bit her tongue. She rolled off him to the other side and backed up against the rock wall as much as she could.
Yet again, the timing couldn’t have been any better. The buffalo charged around the structure as soon as she and the others were against the rock face. Some ran up the boulders and leapt over the top, but they jumped off far enough away that they didn’t land on the three.
It was hard to watch the buffalo tumble ungracefully to the ground and roll into each other, but none seemed seriously injured during the stampede. The herd continued at full speed as they entered the mountain range and kicked up a storm of dust that made it hard for Sophia to see their progress much farther.
After a full minute, the huge herd dissipated and left Lee, Lunis, and Sophia to catch their breath, although that involved breathing in dust and dirt.
Lee turned to Sophia and Lunis and grinned. “Thanks for the ride, dragon, but may I suggest you get some shock absorbers installed?”
Chapter One Hundred Four
“This place…” Sophia dusted off her cloak, which was still soaked from the rain storm that seemed like an hour ago but was probably only a few minutes prior.
She was grateful when the sun came out and promised to dry her clothes.
“Which way?” Sophia asked Lee.
The assassin glanced around and shrugged. “Not sure after that detour. Let me get my bearings.” She pulled a pill bottle from her pocket and popped a small oblong-shaped pill into her mouth.
“That’s how you get your bearings?” Sophia joked.
Lee nodded. “As well as not murder everyone.”
“Just some people, right?”
“Exactly.” Lee swallowed the pill dry and pointed toward the west. “Mike lives over that way on the other side of those trees. Well, in the woods, but it’s not a far walk once we get under the tree canopy.”
Sophia didn’t want to waste any more time, concerned what Wy-wtf-oming would throw at them next. She started for the trees, which weren’t quite a mile away.
The three walked in silence for a while. At first, it was because they were exhausted from all the things this place had thrown at them since arriving. Then it was because Sophia was on guard and constantly looking over her shoulder for killer birds or a tornado or something. But then it was because the sun suddenly became sweltering hot and beat down on them with no relief since they were on the plains with the trees too far ahead.
Although Lunis offered to shade them with his wing like before with the hail, Sophia declined, worried that he’d injure himself again.
To Sophia’s surprise, her soaked cloak dried within a few minutes of being in the soul-sucking heat.
“Didn’t know that you’d be getting a tan today, did you, Scotland Girl?” Lee had taken off her flannel button-up and fashioned it into a headpiece of sorts.
“What’s with this place?” Sophia asked. “How can the weather change so dramatically?”
“You know what they say about Wy-schizophrenic-oming?”
“Don’t go there?” Sophia deadpanned.
Lee nodded. “That, and if you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes.”
“Well, at least we’ll be under the trees in a few.”
It wasn’t one of those dry heats that those in Arizona say is doable because it doesn’t feel as hot as it really is. The heat in southern Wyoming was humid and reminded Sophia of when she and Evan had recently visited Baton Rouge in Louisiana. Although Wyoming had the advantage of also having a strange breeze now and then.
Sophia wanted to call that relief, but there was a chill laced into it that seemed weird. She felt something touch her bare arms since she’d removed her cloak and wrapped it around her waist. She held out her hand, and a small white object floated down from the sky and landed on her palm.
“No freaking way.” She shook her head.
“Way.” Lee looked at the flake lying on her palm that melted immediately. “Welcome to the worst place on Earth.”
Sophia couldn’t believe it. It was suddenly snowing.
Chapter One Hundred Five
Clouds had filled the sky that was clear minutes prior. They were the poufy kind that promised snow in Scotland, but these all seemed to have sinister faces in them as well. Within a few seconds, the temperature had plummeted, and snow fell heavily from the sky, covering everything.
“What is wrong with this place?” Sophia shivered from the sudden temperature change. She pulled her cloak off her hips and slipped back into it.
Lee laughed. “It’s a geographical anomaly, so I make up reasons that include Satan and it having too many goats per capita or how Mother Nature got bored and decided to make this place a sideshow.”
“I’d ask Mother Nature if that were true, but she’d lie or avoid the question,” Sophia replied.
“You know all the deities, don’t you?” Lee speculated.
“Yeah, but they’re all really down to earth.”
Lee threw back her chin as she cackled and clapped. “Mother Earth. Down to earth. Good one. You should tell bad jokes with us.”
“She’s not ready,” Lunis said seriously as his feet made large prints in the snow, which was quite thick by this point.
“You’re probably right,” Lee stated. “Hey, did you hear about what the clock did when it was hungry?”
Lunis shook his head. “I didn’t.”
“It went back four seconds.” Lee howled with laughter.
“Oh, wow.” Sophia looked up at the sky. “Where’s a bolt of lightning when you need it?”
Her fingers had turned numb much faster than she had expected. Sophia was trying to hide her shivering. It was difficult as the snow piled deeper though. Like the rain, it found the small crevices around her cloak and slipped against her skin, making her colder than she thought possible. Sophia wasn’t dressed for cold weather. She hadn’t realized that she’d see four full seasons in one hour.
Thankfully, the tree line was up ahead. However, that did little to make Sophia feel better, knowing that there was probably a different danger waiting for them inside the canopy’s coverage.
She tensed as they approached the trees and waited for what would come next. Sophia was unsurprised to find that the snow dissipated as they neared.
“Mike’s house is on the other side of this shelter belt,” Lee informed them.
Sophia nodded, grateful for the warmth that the trees provided. She trudged through the snow, finding the open ground under the trees much easier to negotiate once they got under the canopy.
Then something flew by her head and stuck in a tree at her back. Sophia turned and froze, looking at the arrow that pierced the trunk.
She glanced at Lee, then Lunis. “Looks like we woke the natives.”
Chapter One Hundred Six
Sophia dove at once while protecting her head.
She felt Lunis also cover her protectively, shielding her from the assaults that she heard whizzing overhead.
“Don’t worry,” Lee stated. “I’ve got this. I’m used to dealing with these jerks.”
Sophia lifted her head and found a spot to poke it out from underneath Lunis’ armpit. “Wait; what? You’ve dealt with these attackers before?”
“Every single time.” Lee pulled a small tube from her pocket and put it to her mouth. She drew a quick breath and blew into the blowgun of sorts.
The dart spiraled through the air and stuck in a tree.
“Oh, too bad,” Lee stated. “I’ll get Mike’s kids yet.”
“Wait; what?” Sophia questioned again. “Those are Mike’s kids shooting at us? You’re shooting at children?”
“Yeah, the little heathens like to defend the property,” Lee stated.
Sophia took three long, deliberate strides, put her hand on the blowgun, and pushed it down.
Lee glanced up with an offended expression. “
Now, why did you do that? I had a clear line at the smallest little shit.”
“You can’t shoot at children.”
“It won’t knock them out…well, it won’t knock them out long enough, but still…” Lee argued.
“You can’t shoot at children,” Sophia repeated.
“You can’t legally,” Lee corrected. “I’m fighting that though.”
“Seriously, you can’t shoot at these little—”
Four quick shots, all aimed at Sophia’s head, nearly took her out. She dropped and ate mud to avoid getting impaled. When she lifted her mud-covered face, Lee was grinning at her with satisfaction.
“I can’t what?”
Sophia pushed up and looked at Lunis over her shoulder. “Can you help us out?”
He nodded. “Although watching you take shots from knee-biters with play bows and arrows is much more fun.”
“Just create a line of defense,” Sophia ordered and pointed as she cleaned the mud from her face.
“Oh fine, but I have to make this worth my while.” Lunis held up his wings as he turned his back to the pair.
He looked quite regal with his wings held in the air, shielding the women as he approached on two legs.
Sophia and Lee peeked around his wings. Only when Sophia looked out from the corner of his wing did she spot a few pairs of wide eyes. They paused with bows and arrows in hand as they took in the dragon before them, blocking their attacks. The three blond-haired boys lowered their weapons in unison and walked out from behind their blinds as their childhood curiosity got the better of them.
Chapter One Hundred Seven
Is now a good time to scorch the short humans? Lunis asked in Sophia’s head.
She gave him a rude scoff but laughed. Let’s wait and see how the discussions go first. Sophia tried to pretend to be serious as she came out around Lunis’ outspread wings.
She had a peaceful smile on her face to appear nonthreatening. Lee on the other hand went for the “You don’t intimidate me” approach and brandished the sword she stole from the Fantastical Armory.
“Would you put that away?” Sophia seethed through clenched teeth.
“As soon as the little heathens put down their weapons,” Lee replied.
The three kids didn’t appear ready to stand down as they faced the large blue dragon with a proud expression on his face. Lunis was always about appearing as regal as possible when he first met those with awful expressions. Of course, he could never keep up the act long and usually laughed and cracked a joke.
The boys were of various ages, probably twelve, nine, and six, and wore camouflage pants and shirts with bandanas wrapped around their messy hair and dirt streaked across their cheeks.
“Hey there,” Sophia began in a sing-song tone. Behind the boys were more woods, a few junker cars in different states of repair, and beyond that a house, barn, and fenced area. “We come in peace.”
“What are we, aliens?” Lee asked her with a laugh.
“We’re trying not to get shot at,” Sophia whispered.
“By these little runts.” Lee waved her hand dismissively at the kids. “Give me a solid ten seconds with them, and I’ll have their weapons and give them a good spankin’.”
“Is that a real dragon?” the oldest boy asked.
Lee laughed rudely. “No, kid, it’s a fake one. We picked it up at the fake dragon store. It’s totally a robot full of bolts and wires.”
“Would you not patronize the children?” Sophia groaned.
“Then I’d have nothing to say to them at all.”
“So be it.” Sophia returned her attention to the boys. “Yes, this is Lunis. What’re your names?”
“We aren’t allowed to talk to strangers,” the middle boy informed them.
“Smart parents,” Lee stated proudly. “Kids should be seen and not heard anyway.”
Sophia cut her eyes at her. “You don’t believe that, do you?”
“I do, which is why I always encourage you to shush your face, child,” Lee retorted.
Sophia looked back at the kids and smiled sweetly. “We’re here to see a guy named Mike. Is that your dad?”
There was a loud set of clicks, like a gun being cocked. A woman with short brown hair and glasses, also wearing camouflage, stepped out from behind a nearby tree. She held a shotgun that was pointed straight at Sophia. “I believe my children told you that they aren’t allowed to talk to strangers.”
Chapter One Hundred Eight
Sophia’s hands shot into the air in the universal gesture that meant “surrender.” Lee, on the other hand, sighed as if having a shotgun pointed at them by a deranged country person was a mild inconvenience.
“Well, this is going well,” Lunis said dryly, also appearing bored by the recent events.
“Cool,” the youngest boy said. “The dragon talks.”
“No, he doesn’t, kid,” Lee lied. “You’re hallucinating. Stop drinking the well water.”
“Don’t you talk to my boy that way.” The woman pointed the shotgun at Lee.
The assassin baker nodded. “He doesn’t understand English, does he? What age do you teach the children how to speak? After they’ve learned how to skin a deer and fashion its teeth into a necklace? Or is it after they’ve taken their first bride?”
“You come onto my property and insult me?” the woman said through clenched teeth. “How dare you?”
“If you think that’s bad, you should see what I’m doing when this one isn’t controlling me, trying to make me act ‘right.’” Lee used air quotes for the last word. “I would have had all your offspring taking a nice nap if she hadn’t stopped me from using my blowgun. I still can if you want though. It is nap time for the babies, isn’t it?”
“We’re sorry for bothering you,” Sophia began in a diplomatic tone. “I’m a rider for the Dragon Elite, and this is Lunis.” She gestured at the dragon beside her.
The woman cut her eyes at them. “I don’t care if you’re the queen of England. You step onto my property, and I shoot first and ask questions later.”
“You haven’t shot us yet,” Lee retorted boldly.
The woman swung the gun barrel in the assassin baker’s direction. “Why don’t you start running and I’ll work on my target practice.”
Lee yawned loudly. “She’s not the queen of England. Don’t you watch the telly? That lady wears hats and has dogs, no dragon.”
Sophia gave her friend an irritated expression. “Do you have to keep insulting the person holding a weapon on us?”
“Is that a serious question?” Lee fired back.
“Anyway,” Sophia said to the woman and smiled at the boys who still had their bows and arrows pointed at them. “We’re here to see a guy named Mike.”
“There’s no Mike here!” the woman exclaimed.
Lee nodded. “That’s because he goes by the name Pete.”
Sophia rolled her eyes. “Then why do you call him Mike?”
She shrugged. “He looks like a Mike to me.”
“You’re the strangest person in the world.” Sophia glanced back at the foursome. “We need to see Pete, apparently. It’s for an important reason. The water in Scotland—”
“Whoa, you’re from Scotland?” the oldest boy interrupted, awe written on his face. He slapped the kid beside him on the arm. “The men wear skirts there.”
“Kilts,” Lee corrected.
“I don’t know about my husband helping people who associate with men who wear dresses,” the woman stated.
“Look, Sue,” Lee began, irritation heavy in her voice. “We don’t know any men who wear skirts—”
“My boss does,” Sophia interrupted meekly.
“And your boyfriend on special occasions,” Lunis supplied.
Lee cut her eyes at Sophia, curiosity written on her face. “What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?”
“Seriously, can we focus?” Sophia urged. “Poisoned water in Scotland, remember?”
“
How could I forget?” Lee groaned. “It’s all you ever talk about anymore. You used to be fun. Now you’re all obsessed with the water.”
Sophia had enough. She spun and dropped her surrender stance. “Well, excuse me for caring about the sheep that are exploding all over the place!”
“They’re just little old sheep,” Lee argued and turned to face her. “The dragons are going to eat them anyway.”
“But they can’t because they give them indigestion,” Sophia replied.
“And that’s from only eating a little one,” Lunis complained. “Imagine if we ate a fat one.”
Lee laughed. “Then we’d have exploding dragons.”
“Ummm…honey,” a man said from behind the woman. “Why is there a dragon and two women arguing over there?”
“Something to do with Scotland,” the lady replied. “But the one in the long jacket isn’t the queen of England.”
“And the dragon is real,” the oldest boy offered.
Sophia turned to face the family. “Hi, are you Mike…I mean Pete?”
“Who’s asking?” the guy with reddish-blond hair asked and crossed his thick arms over his chest.
“I’m Sophia, and this is—”
“Mike, don’t you recognize me?” Lee sounded offended.
He narrowed his eyes at the woman and studied her. “No. How do I know you?”
“Oh, that’s right!” Lee exclaimed and covered one eye with her palm. “How about now? Last time I had an eye patch.”
“Lee!” the man cheered. “Well, I’ll be. That is you and your pretty eye. How you been?”
“You know this crazy person?” the man’s wife asked.
“Know her?” the guy replied. “I owe her my life.”
“And I’ll take it if needed,” Lee stated proudly.
“Boys, put down the weapons,” the man ordered. “We don’t shoot at friends.”
“Well, you don’t,” the woman argued.
