Take Me (Take Me Series Book 1)

by Calista Fox

  “What, Kate? What has you in a tailspin?”

  “I love him,” she quietly professed over the rim of her champagne glass. “I love Jude. Like that kind of insanely vicious, I would fade into oblivion without him kind of love. It’s…it’s—”

  “Fantastic, Kate,” Nikki simply said. And lifted her glass in a toast.

  Kate gaped.

  Nikki accepted a refresh, sipped once more, then added, “It’s the most exhilarating, phenomenal feeling and experience in the world, Kate. When you fall in love with someone and they love you back—just as passionately, just as deeply, just as endlessly…” She sighed. “Nothing compares. Nothing completes you like that. I know…remember?”

  “Nikki—”

  “I had the perfect love,” she contended. “In my hands, I held the most perfect man…the most perfect moments…the most perfect everything. I had everything, Kate. And even as you’re sitting across from me with tears in your eyes, I still hold all of that perfection in my heart. I will never wonder what it’s like to be loved so deeply,” she said. “I will never wonder how sexy or desirable I might be. How smart and witty. I will never doubt any of this, Kate, because the most amazing man I’ve ever known chose me. Loved me. And I get to keep him with me, in my heart, forever.”

  Kate couldn’t stem the flow of tears. Nikki’s trickled along her cheeks as well, but Kate suspected she had so much reconciliation in her mind that Nikki could contain the emotion.

  Kate was nowhere near that point.

  She reached for a napkin and pressed it to her eyes. As she tried to ebb the flow, she asked Nikki, “What if you knew going into it that Conner would die?”

  “Would I have stuck it out with him? Would I have supported his decision to be a heroic daredevil flyboy?”

  “Would you?”

  Nikki didn’t speak.

  Kate peeled away the napkin and stared at her friend.

  Who smiled at her with misty eyes. “Yeah, Kate. I would have still been right by his side. If God had granted me a crystal ball and I’d seen that chopper fall from the sky… Sure, I would have asked Conner to reconsider. But if he was adamant… I would’ve accepted that maybe the crystal ball was complete and utter bullshit.”

  Kate laughed, unexpectedly. “Jesus, Nik!”

  “I mean, really… Who knows what’s going to happen from one day to the next? And a crystal ball, Kate?” She waved a dismissive hand in the air. “Fuck that shit. Do you know how many men Conner saved? One man saved dozens of lives… Dozens!”

  “And he willingly did it,” Kate said.

  “Yes, he willingly did it. And I am damn proud of him. I don’t need all of those medals on a shelf in my office to remind me of how courageous and selfless my husband was, but I do appreciate I’m not the only one who knows it. I get emails and Christmas cards from a lot of those men who knew Conner. More than just the ones he rescued. In fact… There’s something I forgot to mention, which I think will make you feel infinitely more secure about this adventure. Your family, too.”

  “Oh…the family.” Kate sighed. She dropped the damp napkin, sniffled, then said, “I still haven’t told them. Each and every one will connip-out in their own epic way. I am so not looking forward to that conversation.”

  “Doing it one-on-one?”

  “No, I don’t think so. A group gathering would be best. Cocktails to break the inherent tension of me calling a family meeting. Something I’ve never done before. A little relaxing mood music and comfortable ambience to set the scene. Then I’ll rip the Band-Aid off and let them run rampantly through all the grieving stages, falling just shy of acceptance, of course.”

  “Of course.”

  “They’ll require plenty of time to try to talk me out of this first.”

  “Is it possible to talk you out of this, Kate?”

  She reached for her glass again. “Perhaps Jude could. But he didn’t.”

  “Because he understands how important this is to you?”

  “Maybe. Or maybe he’s still processing. Still working through the stages himself. He could make a valiant attempt at some point, before I leave. But I don’t know… I was pretty precise about my ideations, about my decision-making. Jude knows I can soundly stick to a conviction when I’ve made up my mind.”

  “But…you love the man, Kate.”

  She took a long drink from her crystal flute. “I do. In this particular scenario, however, love doesn’t conquer all. Sometimes, it doesn’t win out.”

  Her stomach sank over that sentiment. It was a horrific one to confess to. An admittedly depressing one to face. Difficult to reconcile.

  Even Nikki murmured, “No, sometimes love doesn’t win out. And that royally sucks.” She drank her champagne, too. Then gazed at Kate and added, “But sometimes it can be a dark horse. It might appear to have lagged behind, be out of the running…whatever. Then surge forward unexpectedly—triumphantly.”

  More tears sprang to Kate’s eyes. “I don’t know what I adore about you more, Nik. The fact you pull metaphors from your ass at the most appropriate moment because you know they’ll resonate with me, or that you always persevere. Or that you’re still wildly optimistic about love, despite the emotional wringer you’ve been through.”

  “I never blamed my personal hell on love, Kate. You know that. I credit love for my recovery from the dark place. And you.”

  Kate sniffled once more. “You’re so strong, Nik.”

  “So are you, Kate. Remarkable, really. And I’m clearly not the only person to see this.”

  “Jude,” she muttered his name, without thought. As she’d done that day at The Champagne Bar with Charlotte and Mirabeth.

  She found solace in Nikki’s pearls of wisdom—even in Nikki’s ability to still acknowledge the significance of love in the wake of a tragedy Kate couldn’t fathom, despite having intimately gone through it with Nikki. And with Jude when he’d sought her out after MMA fighting hadn’t rid him of his angst and demons.

  Yet a natural sense of finality laced that solace as it pertained to Jude.

  This was where their paths split. And her divergence was no minor, inconsequential one. It substantially changed everything about her situation with Jude.

  Kate polished off another glass, and told her friend, “I know we’re independent, competent women who should be able to have it all. The universe, however, still holds the ultimate potential to rip the rug from beneath us. For you and me? I’d say romance is that one elusive element that slips through our fingers.”

  They stared at each other over the rims of their glasses.

  Then Nikki said, “Don’t disappoint me for the first time in your life, Kate Stockman.”

  Her brow crooked. “How so?”

  “By giving up so easily. Not your style, my friend.”

  Nikki ordered another bottle of champagne. Knowing Kate needed more time to process her own crossroads.

  Jude dove into his research on establishing a foundation, setting up a Board of Directors, instituting a charter…and all the other details involved. Regardless of having yet to determine how he was going to approach Nathanial Stevens with the concept—or ascertaining what sort of specialty this foundation would be centered on, where Dawn Stevens’ interests had lain, what worthy cause she would want to support if given a blank check.

  Literally a blank check.

  Jude had already been promised startup funding from several sources. His client, of course. His co-counsel’s client as well, Dawn’s former employer. But there’d been other large corporations interested in his plight; corporations that had followed the trial, because the outcome could set a precedence that held the potential to negatively impact them going forward.

  No-fault car accidents were one thing in this state. When blame couldn’t be placed on a Fortune 500 company for an industrial accident…that was a tricky matter; one to watch closely to see how it unfolded. Similarly, a passenger suing an airline for a damaged part that led to an engine explodi
ng mid-air, killing a person and endangering a hundred lives, was another current focus for corporate legal teams worldwide. So Jude’s recent case had become high-profile as it related to thresholds of where blame resided…or didn’t…and how it affected class action lawsuits, as well as personal ones.

  His victory had brought him great recognition. So much so, job offers were pouring in to join organizations seeking a Chief General Counsel of his caliber, along with invitations to every manner of society event in Manhattan.

  The press even hounded him, still hoping for a nugget regarding the Stevens’ case. He didn’t utter a word.

  What he did do was lay out a strategy that had a hell of a lot of prospective backing from some of those organizations wooing him.

  And while he’d hired a tax attorney to break down all the components of establishing a charitable group—including the intricacies involving raising/collecting funds, reporting them and documenting administrative vs. contributable dollars—he honestly assessed that he was still missing one critical element. The human one.

  So Jude made several more calls until he connected with Charlotte Kensington.

  “What a delight to hear from you!” she hastily said in her delicate voice. “I assume you’re calling about the family get-together this Friday night that Kathryn is hosting.”

  “Kate,” he absently corrected.

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Kate, Charlotte. She prefers Kate, if you don’t mind.”

  “Oh, I… Um… Of course, I don’t mind. Right. Kate.” She took a moment, then said, “I guess I’ve overlooked that. She did mention it once or twice, but her family—”

  “She likes to be called Kate.”

  “Got it. Okay. Well, Kate it is. So…Kate…indicated she has big news to share with everyone—and we are all so excited to hear it! Do I hear wedding bells in the distance?”

  21

  Jude winced. Didn’t take a rocket scientist to surmise the Stockman clan would likely be anticipating news of Kate’s engagement, particularly since she and Jude had made quite the convincing couple at Charlotte and Denny’s party. Beyond that, they were probably all so hopeful she’d settle down in a traditional relationship and household setting, it was a natural progression and foregone conclusion in their minds she’d make such a proclamation, even this early on, given the grandiose affair she was apparently orchestrating.

  What she’d clearly failed to tell them all was that Jude had not been invited to the family soiree. He wouldn’t be standing alongside her when she invariably delivered her shocking news—that she wasn’t getting married and was instead plotting a significant shift in her career. One that would lead her overseas…into imminent landmines of the literal variety as much as the figurative.

  They’d all have a field day with this, without doubt.

  Jude groaned over the idea of Kate going up against her entire family with this sort of mind-blowing revelation. She’d be a woman without an island, for sure. Well…with the exception of Charlotte. Jude suspected Kate’s soon-to-be-sister-in-law would rally to Kate’s cause. He wished for it, at any rate.

  There was nothing Jude could do about the entire predicament, however, so he stayed the course, saying to Charlotte, “I’m actually not calling about Kate’s impending event. I was hoping to pick your brain on establishing a foundation…specifically, the PR aspect—garnering recognition, inspiring donors, determining outreach programs. Are individual scholarships or mass dispersions of community service preferable? I have no idea what’s most effective in this arena.”

  “Oh, well! You’re definitely speaking to the right person,” she said with an enthusiastic laugh. “Queen of Volunteerism, here. I sit on the boards of numerous charities, and they all have a cornucopia of ways to raise monies and various avenues to distribute the funds to the applicable sources.”

  Charlotte immediately launched into that cornucopia and various avenues.

  Jude took extensive notes.

  Two hours later, he felt he was sufficiently armed with the information he’d been lacking…and felt infinitely more confident about this new undertaking of his.

  As he wrapped up his conversation with Charlotte—thanking her profusely for imparting her knowledge—she asked, “So we’ll see you on Friday, then?”

  Jude’s gut clenched. He hated to burst this woman’s bubble. Partly because she’d been so forthcoming with all the details he was in need of, but mostly because Charlotte Kensington was a genuine person. A very lovely one, at that.

  Thus, Jude felt like a complete asshole as he vaguely told her, “Kate’s in charge of all the arrangements. Again, I’m grateful for—”

  “Jude,” Charlotte tentatively said. “You are going to be there, right?”

  “Charlotte.” He let out a long breath of air. Then instinctively and ambiguously said, “It’s complicated…”

  Fuck.

  What a can of worms that opened!

  Kate was nervous as hell.

  A complete understatement, really.

  Thank God she’d had the foresight to include Nikki in the family gathering.

  They all knew Nikki. They all liked Nikki. The Stockmans had welcomed her and Conner into their fold. The Kanes had fit the ideal, after all: a well-educated couple from society families; Ivy Leaguers with a marriage certificate and a swank apartment on the Upper Eastside.

  Granted, there’d been a notable shudder through the Manhattan high-brow universe when Conner had established his own SAR organization—an objective that had lingered in his mind since he was a kid and had been rescued from an underground cave, the opening of which had collapsed, trapping him and his friends inside for several terrifying hours.

  Nikki had defended Conner’s career decision, even choosing to counsel the survivors of those perilous situations he retrieved them from.

  The two of them had made quite the team, in every aspect of their partnership.

  So much so, Kate’s parents had succumbed to the inevitable. It was impossible to view Nikki and Conner as anything other than a cohesive unit determined to save lives.

  Kate had no delusions she’d suddenly step into that spotlight with her own plight. This was not going to be a moment in her life when the Stockmans patted her on the back and commended her for willingly putting herself in harm’s way in order to help heal others.

  Hell, chances were quite good even Charlotte would stop speaking to her.

  Emotion riddled Kate and she couldn’t shake it off. She realized Charlotte’s friendship and sisterly camaraderie meant a lot to her—losing both would be painful for Kate. Sure, she had three other sisters-in-law. Kate would never feel about them the way she did Charlotte, though. And Charlotte wasn’t even officially a Stockman yet!

  “Hey, you need to stop pacing,” Nikki said as she joined Kate in the kitchen while she checked on the hors d’oeuvres the catering staff had prepared and were about to start serving.

  “This could be a monumental mistake,” Kate whispered.

  “Kate, you signed all the forms—you still want to go, right?”

  “Yes, of course, I want to go. That’s not what I’m talking about. I might have taken the wrong approach, springing this news on my family.”

  “You’re not going to spring it,” Nikki reminded her. “You’re going to ease them into this new reality of yours. We discussed this, Kate. Take it slow and gentle. Provide all the necessary details, all the contingency plans, all the security measures…everything. Don’t leave anything out. The more information they have—even if it seems like too much—the better the chances will be of their fully understanding what you’re doing.”

  “Or…they’ll tune me out within the first fifteen seconds, as they’re prone to do, in order to rabidly draw their own conclusions.”

  “Well, there is that…” Nikki said with a sigh. “I will concede, they are quick to judge.”

  “Especially when whatever is presented goes against their grain.”

 
“But you’ll power through, Kate.” Nikki clasped her hands. “Just breathe deeply. Stay calm. Fixate on what you want to accomplish. Think of everything you’ve gone through—and still have to go through—in an effort to achieve this goal. You believe, in your heart, it’s all worth it?”

  “Yes,” she said without hesitation. “I know it’ll cause my parents some stress and worry. But I also know that, mostly, they’ll feel put out that I’m once again bucking the system. I have to remember that following my dreams might upset the applecart, but in the long run… It’s my life to live.”

  Nikki gave a reassuring squeeze of her hands. “It’s a difficult stance to take. You don’t want to hurt anyone or worry them. But—oh! Something I forgot to tell you, because we got off on a different tangent over champagne.”

  Kate’s gaze narrowed. “What?”

  “I told you Conner’s team has remained in touch with me. Well, I’ve kept them in the loop with what I’ve been doing, and a few of them expressed interest in hiring on to serve as protective escorts for us in the startup phase. Their experience and training will be invaluable, Kate. Particularly ensuring our safety in Afghanistan. But they’ll also provide an additional layer of disaster-relief training so we’re fully prepared for whatever scenario we encounter.”

  “Wow, Nik.” Kate breathed a sigh of relief. “That offers significant peace of mind. Not so sure how much it will settle my parents’ nerves, but… I do like the sound of having seasoned search and rescue operatives surrounding us.”

  “I’m employing every precaution, Kate.”

  “I know. Thank you.” She hugged her friend. Then pulled away and said, “I hear the doorbell. That should be the rest of my family. I have to make the rounds...sufficiently ply everyone with alcohol—as much as they’ll allow me to before pressing for my general broadcast.”

  Kate and Nikki left the kitchen, with the caterer’s serving staff trailing behind them to begin delivering food. One of the staff members was at the door, allowing the guests in and directing them to the living room.