A Love Hate Thing

by Whitney D. Grandison

  The song finished and Xiu raised her hands to her face as it exploded bright red. Travis grinned and pulled her into a hug, saying something into her ear. She deserved the round of applause our group was giving her; she had killed it.

  Shayne’s mouth was still open in shock. “Looks like DEFCON Yee just got a new member?”

  Edi held up her cup. “What the hell did she drink that I didn’t get?”

  “I call next!” Warhol shouted.

  “Hell no, I’m next,” Ashley argued.

  The two went off and joined Xiu and Travis, circling the poor girl, fighting for a dance.

  Shayne shook her head, turning to me and offering me a half smile. “Can we pee?”

  The expression on her face told me she wanted to talk and I agreed, following as she led the way to the women’s restroom.

  Inside, I adjusted my zipper as we stood in front of the mirror, briefly letting air into my jumpsuit.

  Shayne was running her hands through her curls, yet even in the mirror her gaze kept flickering to me.

  “What?” I came out and asked.

  Shayne turned to me. “Do you think you and Ty are close to like, you know, hooking up?”

  The question caught me off guard. At first the thought of it had made me nervous, but after spending so much time with Tyson and talking to him, it was becoming less and less overwhelming.

  I took a step back. “What?”

  Shayne came closer. “I stayed up reading his story, Nan. He’s like crazy in love with you.”

  I didn’t know what to say. The idea of Tyson’s love...it stunned me. “Huh?”

  “The story’s about a kid named Tyrin, and how he grew up in this bad city, watching his father beat his mother, and his friends robbing and stealing, and one day he goes to an affluent town and meets this girl, Queen—you. They’re both seven, and they hang out for an entire year before Tyrin’s home life gets so bad that he doesn’t want to leave his city anymore.

  “Ten years pass and his father kills his mother in a drunken rage, and Tyrin ends up staying with his uncle in the affluent community, next door to Queen. At first, they fight a lot, because she assumes he’s this thug, but then they talk and they connect. He’s mesmerized by her beauty, just like he was when he first saw her, but beyond that—she’s fierce, independent, and smart. She’s everything to him, and he falls helplessly in love with her.”

  The parallels to our situation caused me to have to lean against the sink for balance and support.

  “Go on, please,” I insisted.

  “I’m not going to spoil it. It’s a really good story. I just...” She stopped and a tear rolled down her cheek. “It was just so beautiful, Nandy. The crazy thing is, I don’t even think he realizes what he wrote and how he feels.”

  He’d told me it was about us, but I hadn’t imagined how deeply rooted we—I—was in his story.

  “Can I have a quote?” I joked to ease the tension.

  Shayne appeared thoughtful. “‘It was eminent. It stood against time. The love I felt for Queen was the closest I would ever feel for another person next to my mother. Looking into Queen’s dark eyes, I felt peace and calm. I had found my kingdom. I was home.’ I read that about a million times. He’s in love with you.”

  It felt unreal. I needed to read the story for myself and to hear Tyson say the words himself for it to be true.

  Shayne grabbed hold of my arm, causing me to look into her eyes. “Be careful, Nan. He’s fragile. He may not admit it, but he’s afraid to love. He’s afraid of getting hurt and losing someone. You left Chad for him—he may question that, but don’t let it frighten you. If you really care for him, fight for him, no matter what.”

  It sounded like a lot, pressure even, but it wasn’t. Tyson needed to be pushed, loved, and led away from the environment and emotions he’d grown up with. He needed to know that he mattered, was important, and could beat his past. Being the one elected to the task, I welcomed it with no qualms.

  I headed for the door. “Don’t worry, he’s in good hands. Not only does he have me, but he also has amazing friends.”

  We found the others huddled together, still discussing Xiu’s dancing. Xiu deserved to be the center of attention. It took major guts to step outside your comfort zone, especially in public.

  Tyson found us and wrapped his arms around me. Warhol had just begun to tell some obvious lie about this epic fight for Xiu’s next dance he’d had with Ashley.

  The music came to a stop, and we all turned to the DJ booth to see what was happening.

  “I wanna dedicate this next song to my best friend, Nandy, and her new boo, Trice,” Erica cooed over the microphone.

  I wrinkled my nose in embarrassment at the sound of B2K’s “Why I Love You” as it came on all throughout the club.

  Feeling slightly giddy, I turned and eyed my guy.

  Tyson smiled at me and moved to the melody, goading me to dance with him as others began egging us on.

  Seeing how goofy he looked, thinking of the time at the model home, I loosened up and went closer to him.

  I felt too much to dance. I just needed a moment to bask in his arms and feel him.

  Resting my chin on his chest, I looked up at him, amazed at how far he’d come. It was scary, from ten years apart to nearly two months reunited, and here we were. The lyrics of the song matched what I felt for him through and through. I loved his wisdom, his compassion, his wit, his bravery, his strength—him.

  Tyson leaned down and kissed me, and I felt it deeper than he could’ve imagined.

  “You know I waited ten years for this,” I came out and said.

  He smoothed my hair, swaying to the song, silently nodding. We were in sync, because I knew he felt it, too.

  Soon Soulja Boy started rapping about kissing a girl through the phone, and the mood shifted, causing us to find a quiet spot in the basement section of the club, where everyone lounged around on couches, talking.

  I lay against Tyson as he curled his arms around me.

  “So,” he said, running the tips of his fingers down my arms, “you down or what?”

  I looked back at him. “Huh?”

  “You liked the song, right?”

  “Yeah, it was really nice.”

  “So, if I wanted to really throw it back and grow my hair out, sport some braids, you’d be down to braid ’em for me?”

  I clicked my tongue, shaking my head. He wasn’t that cute. “Um, no. Besides, I always had a thing for J Boog and Lil’ Fizz.”

  Tyson leaned close to my ear. “Fizz had the twists, though.”

  I wanted to argue, but I could only smile. “I don’t even know how to braid hair to the scalp.”

  “You can learn.”

  “You are not getting braids again, Tyson.”

  He chuckled in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. The sound and the feel of Tyson was the best.

  Travis came and found us. “Y’all chillin’ now?”

  “It’s getting a little hot up there,” Tyson said.

  Travis grinned. “Can’t agree more. I met a girl who wants to dip, so I’ll catch you later, okay?”

  He leaned over and he and Tyson knocked their fists together twice before pointing at each other. It was some sorta secret handshake.

  “We should have one of those,” I suggested after Travis had left.

  Tyson smirked. “That’s mad corny, Nandy.”

  Maybe it was.

  I stood from the couch. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Where to?”

  “Trust me?”

  He regarded me with suspicion. “Partially.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Come on, before I find some other cutie to take with me.”

  Tyson narrowed his eyes and stood, coming up on me and wrapping his arms around me again
, holding me close. “You want beef?”

  I held up a fist. “Bring it.”

  He didn’t put up a fight as I took his hand and led him up the steps, through the maze of bodies and out of the club.

  The Hook was right by the beach, and I dragged Tyson toward it in a heated rush. I felt childish and giddy at what I wanted to do.

  He had no idea what was going on, but he kept up with me and eyed me curiously as we raced down to the sand.

  The beach was deserted, leaving just us and the cool waves and the moon.

  I stood in front of Tyson, assessing him. He hadn’t dressed up, sporting a simple gray tee and tan khakis.

  “Come here,” I told him.

  Tyson came closer. “Yeah?”

  I crooked my arm out. “Dance with me?”

  Tyson got this amused expression on his face as he eyed my arm. “Seriously?”

  “It’s not quite the street, but it’s just you and me.”

  “Just the way you like it, huh?”

  “Square dance with me, Tyson.”

  If he thought the gesture was lame or corny, he didn’t voice it as he hooked his arm with mine.

  Together we skipped in a circle, laughing at how silly we were being at our age. We went around and around, and I didn’t get dizzy, too high off the feeling of being with Tyson.

  There was a lone towel someone had left behind, and together we fell back onto it. Me on my back and Tyson between my legs on top of me. It was here where I faced the idea of sleeping with him. With all the emotions and sensations I was feeling, I thought I could go through with it. What more did I need to know or feel about him? We were inevitable.

  Tyson leaned down and kissed me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer as it deepened and intensified.

  We were in the open, exposed, but I could tell neither of us cared.

  Just as I was getting comfortable, Tyson pulled away and lifted up on his arms. “We gotta cool it. If I’m going to unleash the beast, it ain’t gonna be in public like this.”

  “Beast, huh? You that confident?”

  The cocky expression on his face caused a deep clenching beneath my belly. Oh. He reached out and ran his thumb over my lower lip.

  He leaned down and kissed me quickly, and then again, and soon we were at it once more.

  It felt good to just be together, no boundaries or rules. I trusted Tyson, and I knew he trusted me. In all that I was feeling, I knew deep down I wanted to go all the way with him.

  Tyson gazed into my eyes, as if sensing where my mind had gone and what I was feeling. He almost seemed to blush.

  The sight of his expression made me laugh, and that caused him to laugh and calm down.

  He grinned down at me, loosening up. “I think we—”

  And then his phone rang.

  35 | Trice

  My phone was going off. I could hear it in my pocket.

  Nandy didn’t seem to care. She was quick to lean up and trace my bottom lip with her tongue, sending a very important member of my anatomy at attention. She did it again, and I was beginning to think whoever was calling could wait.

  My phone stopped but then started again, and curiosity got the better of me as I reached into my pocket, keeping my eyes on the girl beneath me.

  She stared at me, lifting a brow as she toyed with the zipper of her jumpsuit. I reached out and cupped a breast, enjoying the feel of her in my hand, wondering what her skin would feel like. Nandy’s response was a low moan, one that sent a wave of pleasure to my groin.

  My phone was still ringing for attention.

  With our luck, Parker was probably calling.

  I leaned away from Nandy and brought my phone to my ear upon answering it. “Hello?”

  “Yo, T, what up?” Money’s voice stilled me, and I knew something was wrong.

  Immediately I got to my feet and walked away from Nandy.

  “Money? What’s up?”

  “Didn’t interrupt anything, did I? Was you fucking on something?” Money asked with no restraint.

  Almost. I eyed Nandy, who had sat up and was adjusting her zipper and cleavage.

  “Is there something you wanted?” He was holding back, and the sense of it was driving my blood pressure up.

  His silence confirmed it.

  “Yo, man, Mexico out here trippin’,” Money finally came out and said. “He’s getting paranoid, talking about the feds is onto him.”

  My eyes shut as I swore. “Fuck.” This wasn’t the time or place to discuss the matter, especially with Nandy nearby. “Call me back in ten minutes.”

  I hung up and faced Nandy, who looked quizzical. “We’re going to have to finish this another time. I’ve got something to do.”

  Nandy looked to where I was gripping my phone. “Who was that?”

  “No one.”

  She stood and came over to me. “Tyson.”

  I took a step back. Fuck. The last thing I needed was her involvement, mixing her in with the mess of my previous life. “I’m going to leave. I have business to get into. I’ll see you later, okay?”

  “And you’ll tell me later?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  She frowned. “I thought you trusted me.”

  “This doesn’t concern you.” In the distance on the boardwalk, I could see groups and couples walking away from the Hook, laughing and carrying on as if nothing was wrong in their perfect little worlds. Me, I didn’t have that luxury. I faced the girl who I wanted nothing more but to spare and protect in that moment. “Do me a favor and go and meet up with your girls and enjoy the rest of your night.”

  “Tyson—”

  “Nandy, please, just mind your business, a’ight?”

  She flinched, taking a step back and looking down at the sand. Knowing her, I expected a fight, but when she turned and walked away, I had to admit it stung. It wasn’t about trust, because sure, I trusted her, but this, this life that I’d led before, I didn’t want it to touch her. I didn’t want to trouble her with the mistakes of my past. I’d rather her be pissed at me than concerned—at least until I could fix things on my own.

  I got in my ride and returned Money’s call as I rode on home.

  “What the fuck is going on?” I demanded to know.

  “Ay, Prophet got a call from Mexico’s loony ass, talking about he’s sure the feds are casing the place. They came by twice asking him if he knew about some missing cars, and now he’s acting crazy. He’s saying he wants one tricked out ride so he can coast, or he’s turning us all in.”

  Fuck.

  “He thinks the feds are onto him, so he wants us to steal a car so he can chop it?” He had to see the lack of logic in that. Mexico couldn’t be that dumb.

  “He says it’s been quiet, but he’s not taking any chances. There are other garages in Lindenwood. He thinks they’re asking everyone. He wants to coast before they come back for another round, is all.”

  It seemed sketchy, but I could understand Mexico’s paranoia and see why he wanted to skip town. We stole from other cities and didn’t stick to a pattern, making the odds of tracking us down less likely. But of course Mexico wasn’t about to trust a group of misfits from the ’Wood.

  “Why didn’t Prophet call me?”

  “You know you his favorite, T. He doesn’t want to bring you into it, but I thought you had a right to know.”

  “Damn right I do.” Even if Prophet wanted more for me, this concerned me. I’d stolen just as many cars as the others, met up with Mexico just as much. When shit went down, Mexico wasn’t about to be lenient with me. If my crew was going down, he was saying my name as well.

  Then again...

  “He doesn’t know our names,” I pointed out. We spoke in code—shit, the only person’s name besides Khalil’s that I knew was Prophet�
��s, and that was only because Nandy had asked him.

  “True, Read said that as well, but I ain’t about to sit here and call his bluff.”

  “What’s the plan?” I pulled up to a red light. Prophet was smart. I knew he’d come up with something to get us out of this mess.

  “Man, you know Prophet and them,” Money went on. “They’re thinking about areas to look, but Mexico wants something top of the line, something that cost a grip. They ain’t about to find that so last-minute. We got until Saturday night. And you know what I wanna do.”

  The light turned green, and it took a moment for me to process that it meant Go.

  Money was talking murder, and a dark part of me was almost siding with him.

  But then, killing Mexico seemed risky, and wrong. There had to be another way.

  “No,” I spoke up. “We’re not going that route.”

  Money clicked his tongue. “I knew I shouldn’t have called yo’ punk ass.”

  It was comical, lightening up the situation. “I’m glad you did. I’ll handle it.”

  “Nah, I can’t drag you into this mess, Prophet would beat my ass.”

  “We’re family,” I said. “Y’all looked out for me, it’s nothing. I can’t leave you hanging. Besides, I’m in the land of honey, remember? I can find a car worth the ticket out of town. Leave it up to me.”

  Money was quiet for a moment, as if weighing out his options. He was crazy enough to want to end Mexico, but I could only hope he would see things my way.

  “I don’t like this, T. Mexico was supposed to be cool, and now he thinks he can turn on us?”

  “People do a lot of things out of fear. Just let me get him the car, and we’ll see where we’re left after that, okay?”

  “You got one day to find a car.”

  “I’ll find a car, Money. Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

  “No, you don’t do anything stupid. Don’t ruin your good chance, that’s your new life. Don’t fuck it up over us.”

  “Before this, it was about surviving, and we did it together. We got in this mess together, and we’ll finish it together. This is the last run I’m going to do, and if it’s to set us all free, then it’s whatever.”