Embers of the Past

by Bethany Atwood

  “Thanks, Demetri, I’ll be sure to enjoy it in about two years.” Finally, Kagura moves onto her gift from Mer’ania, this being a framed picture of the two the day they became girlfriends, and a large black teddy bear with a red plaid bow around it’s neck.

  “W… Wait… This picture… When, Mer?” Staring down at the photo, Kagura thinks back to that day, how at the end of it all she went from the worst pain she’d been in to experiencing the greatest joy she knows.

  “I asked your mother to have it printed and framed for me, she was more than happy to do so. I know that day means a lot to you for many reasons, so I wanted to give you the picture we took together that evening after we admitted our feelings for each other. I never knew until your admission just how much I really meant to you, and… I guess you didn’t know how much you mean to me until I admitted my feelings as well.”

  Kagura gently sets aside the picture and bear while tearing up, doing all she can to not throw herself at Mer’ania as she firmly hugs her and presses her lips to the demoness’ in a tender, love filled kiss. Mer’ania all too willingly reciprocates both the embrace and kiss, holding Kagura close for as long as she’d like until the shorter teen breaks the kiss nearly a minute after beginning it.

  “Th… Thank you, Mer… I know I may not say it so often, and I’m not really the best with words anyway, but I love you, so very much…” She softly breathes out, cheeks lit up with redness the whole time. Mer’ania giggles a little before pecking her forehead, a tender squeeze given to the brunette’s waist as she does.

  “I love you too Kags, these past four years have been some of the best times of my life, and I’m honored I get to have you a part of it, you motivate me to keep moving forward even when it seems hopeless, and… I know I do the same for you.” Malchion grins a little while watching the two before being nudged by Esmerelda, who smiles just as he does.

  “They remind me of you and Ser’avan, Malchion, you two get just like that and it is simply the cutest thing.” She teases, her brother promptly gaining a rosy tinge to his cheeks.

  “Y… Yeah, well… I can’t help it, Servy is something special, how I feel about him, I guess it’s the same as how Mer’ania and Kagura feel about each other. Even with all the uncertainty in the world right now, if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that I love him.”

  “Ech… Get a room you two.” Demetri teasingly says, glancing over at Mer’ania and Kagura while the brunette simply smirks.

  “We are in a room, Demetri. But, I get your point, we can kiss more later Mer, for now we should just enjoy our little party.” The demoness nods to Kagura before pulling out her tome, a few taps to the screen starting music playing on her wireless speaker. As music picks up and starts to liven the mood Kagura opens the pizza boxes her mother had brought, everyone electing to chat while they listen to music and enjoy a meal fit for any party, the perfect way to wind down the night.

  Chapter 16: Mind Over Matter

  “Whatcha reading about Kagura?”

  “Just stuff.”

  “What kind of stuff?”

  “Just… Stuff, Mer’ania.”

  Mer’ania huffs softly when Kagura insists on not providing any useful information regarding what she’s reading, the demoness leaning forward and looking at the book before quirking an eyebrow.

  “… A History of Conflict? You’re reading about the war again? What gives, Kags, normally you’d prefer to keep the war far from your mind.” She questions, Kagura sighing and closing the book before looking up at her.

  “You know all the Earthener appearances? They keep happening, those bastards keep trying to attack our homes, our cities, and we keep pushing them back. It doesn’t seem like they’re planning on stopping anytime soon, so… What is anyone going to do about it? How could we possibly keep them from returning?” Kagura’s reply startles Mer’ania, who’s eyes widen slightly in realization.

  “You don’t think… Another war? But… We’ve had peace for so long, another war just… It doesn’t mean anything good…” Kagura shrugs lightly before looking back at the book in her grasp, a tense exhale of breath soon escaping.

  “I have no clue if a war is starting or not, but… I keep thinking that the only way to get the Eartheners to stop is by force, and more force than just fighting them back and sending them to Earth.” Mer’ania’s frown grows slightly as the brunette speaks, however before she can reply another voice speaks up.

  “Good afternoon you two.” Professor Melangreve cheerfully says, approaching Kagura and Mer’ania in the library. “I see you’ve taken an interest in the war, Kagura, any particular reason?” Kagura pales at her mother’s question, her nervous stare and stark silence more than answer enough.

  “You both have nothing to worry about, I can assure you. Whether or not a war is brewing, Sanctus is safe, we can continue to hold them back, and if it is decided that the best course of action to stop the Eartheners is war, then that will come at the decision of our nations leaders.” Mer’ania relaxes slightly at Rebecca’s words, though Kagura continues to remain tense, gaze averted from her mother.

  “Mama… If… If a war does start… I know you fought in the first one, you’d… Probably want to help fight in this one… Please, I can’t lose you… Promise me you’ll be safe…” Rebecca looks slightly taken aback by Kagura’s words, her expression rapidly softening as she look over her daughter.

  “Kagura, I…”

  “Promise me!” Kagura cries out in response to Rebecca’s hesitant sounding reply, tears welling up in her eyes as she stares down her mother. “You have to stay safe… I can’t lose you, I don’t… I don’t know if I could handle losing another parent… Promise me you will stay safe…” Rebecca can’t resist chuckling a little after Kagura goes silent, gathering her daughter up in a tender embrace before a gentle, comforting squeeze is given.

  “Oh Kagura… I promise, if a war does start and I fight in it, I’ll stay safe, for you, and for Nev. I’m not just going to rush in and charge at the Eartheners headfirst, silly, if I do need to help I’ll make sure there is a plan first. Though, on the subject of the war, there is something I want to talk to you about Kagura.” Once the hug breaks Kagura nods, Rebecca leading her out of the library and down the hall a short distance.

  “Kagura, I’d like for you to start therapy again.” Kagura moves to speak but before she gets even a single word out Rebecca continues, a frown visible in place of her prior smile. “I know you lied to me and your mother so that you wouldn’t have to go to therapy anymore, I could tell that you hadn’t improved as much as you said when the Earthener attacks started. Why, sweetheart? Why did you feel the need to lie to us?”

  “… I… I can’t handle therapy… Every session I had where I had to talk about what happened, it killed me inside… Did… Mer’ania tell you? How did you find out?” Kagura quietly voices her reply before finding herself embraced by Rebecca once more, leaning against her with a quiet huff.

  “I suspected it for quite some time, though Mer’ania merely confirmed my suspicions. I know therapy is painful, talking about somber memories is never easy, but it’s important sweetheart. If I could just run away from my problems I certainly might, but that is never the right way to tackle these things.” Rebecca’s explanation draws out a heavy sigh from Kagura, who simply leans against her and looks off to the side.

  “I… I don’t want to, mama… I hated therapy, I’d always end up crying, and then I had to hide that and pretend I was getting better, so you and mom didn’t worry… Please don’t make me start seeing my therapist again…” Kagura pleads, pain noticeable in her voice, yet… Despite this Rebecca just squeezes her once more.

  “Therapy can help you, sweetheart, learning to work through your issues and develop coping skills will benefit you more than just running from your problems until they resurface. Me and your mother always worried about you, we still do honestly, we just want you to be happy, to not have to worry so much.” Rebecca falls
silent for a few moments before kissing Kagura atop her head, a softer smile forming.

  “If it makes you feel better, me and your mother can join you in therapy. You won’t have to face it alone; we’ll be there at your side to help you through this. Would that help, Kagura?” Kagura remain silent for a few minutes, thinking over Rebecca’s words, a slow nod being given before she looks up at her.

  “It would… If you’ll both be there, then… I guess I can try therapy again…” She murmurs, a nervous smile gradually forming. Seeing this, Rebecca releases Kagura, only to then crouch down to be eye level with her before looking her in the eye.

  “I know it’s hard, facing your past is never easy, but we can do this together, all three of us.” Rebecca says softly, pausing for a few moments before a frown forms. “But, if I ever find out that you lied to me and your mother about something this important again you will be grounded, understand? We raised you better than to lie to us.”

  “Y… Yes, mama, I understand… I’m… I’m sorry I lied…” Kagura recoil slightly as Rebecca moves towards her, only to relax as she is once again embraced.

  “I know you are, darling… You had reasons for lying, reasons I can understand, but that doesn’t make it a good thing to do. Now, I’ve got to get back to planning for lessons, with summer fast approaching we won’t have too many classes left, so it’s best I plan out for the remainder of the year’s classes.” Rebecca kisses Kagura’s forehead, then stands up straight and smiles again.

  “Have a good rest of your day sweetheart.” Kagura watches her walk off before retreating into the library, Mer’ania looking towards her when she come into view.

  “You seriously told mama, Mer?” The brunette huffs out, arms crossing over her chest in an annoyed manner.

  “I told you that if you didn’t then I would, Kags. Be mad at me if you want, but I stand by what I did, it’s for the best.” Mer’ania says, Kagura giving off a sigh afterward before looking to the side.

  “… You know I couldn’t be mad at you, Mer, it’s, like, one of the hardest things to do. Still… I really don’t appreciate that you told her, though, at least she offered to sit in on sessions with me, so they aren’t so awful…” Kagura seats herself on the nearby table before kicking her feet out a few times, Mer’ania watching her for a few moment before chuckling.

  “Want to go for a walk outside Kagura? I think we could both use some fresh air, and the warmth would certainly be refreshing.” The demoness’ offer is met with Kagura beginning to grin a little, the shorter teen hopping off the table and nodding.

  “I’d love to.”

  ~

  “End of the year’s coming up quick, yeah? I can’t wait for summer break, it’ll be nice to spend some time away from school.”

  “Demetri, you always look forward to breaks, what’s the point of coming to school if you just look forward to leaving?”

  Mer’ania, Esmerelda, and Malchion laugh at the back and forth between Demetri and Kagura, the two teens playfully teasing one another as they often do.

  “Hey, not everyone here is an egghead like you Grins, I like learning, but I enjoy breaks just as much.” Demetri retorts, arms crossing over his chest as he speaks.

  “Don’t call me egghead, Sparky! Just because I enjoy learning more than most doesn’t mean I’m an egghead, so stop calling me that!” Her response is met with a grin from the elf, who leans forward until he’s closer to her height.

  “You said I couldn’t call you Tin Grin, nothing else, if you’re gonna call me Sparky again I might just have to-” Before he can say much more Demetri finds a couch pillow hitting his face, this sending him toppling backwards while Kagura stares in shock. Both her and Demetri glance over at the other three, Mer’ania casually whistling and looking away as if she hadn’t done anything wrong.

  “What gives Mer’ania?” Demetri groans out once he’s in a seated position, the demoness continuing to play innocent while looking towards him.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about Demetri, I didn’t just throw a pillow at you for teasing Kagura, not at all.” She hums out in reply, a sly smirk plainly visible on her face.

  “Hey, she started it.” He retorts, Kagura huffing quietly and glancing off to the side before Mer’ania speaks.

  “And I ended it. You know Kagura doesn’t like those nicknames Demetri, especially tin grin, and you know how she gets when she’s heated. I’m sure she didn’t mean to call you Sparky, she just was annoyed and blurted it out.” Mer’ania points out, noting Kagura’s tendency to get heated and say things she might not mean. Demetri sighs before nodding, glancing over at Kagura afterwards while she pouts.

  “Right, right, sorry Grins, didn’t mean to bring up that nickname you hate, and I know you didn’t mean to call me Sparky. Guess end of term jitters are getting to me a bit. Still, summer should be fun, yeah? I might have to talk my parents into a vacation to Lunaria next year, it would be nice to come see you all for once.” He muses after uttering an apology, Kagura helping him to his feet before giving him a light hug.

  “I was honestly surprised my parents actually agreed to a vacation in Tal’vedan, usually we’d spend the summer in Lunaria, but this is the first time we’ll travel for summer.” As she speaks Kagura settles at Mer’ania’s side, the demoness smiling down at her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Though… They scheduled our trip for the day I get my braces tightened in July. A morning of misery, and then suffering the whole day as we take the train to visit you, Mer.”

  “Who typically sets the day of your appointments?” Malchion questions, Kagura sighing while turning her gaze towards the ground.

  “Mom and mama, whoever is accompanying me to my appointment sets the date of the next one… I was really looking forward to the train ride to Tal’vedan, but knowing I’m gonna be suffering for the day and a half trip there just sucks…” She mutters, leaning into Mer’ania’s side before clenching her eyes shut. “Mama went ahead and set up my appointments for the next few months so we could be sure we’d not be interrupting our plans…”

  “Hey, Kags, at least you’ll have pain relief elixir to help, and you won’t be miserable the whole time, once the pain stops you’ll be able to enjoy the scenic beauty of the train ride. I’ve always wanted to travel on trains between nations, I hear it’s gorgeous going from Raldevar to Lunaria, and the trip from Lunaria to Tal’vedan? Forests, beaches, so much nature to see, you’re lucky Kags.” Mer’ania hums out, kissing Kagura’s head afterwards while the brunette smiles a little wider.

  “Yeah, you definitely are lucky Kagura! Me, Malchion, and our parents always travel by train when we go vacation, it’s stunning getting to see the beauty of Sanctus from far outside of the major cities.” Esmerelda say in agreement, her brother nodding as she speaks.

  “The trains have a sightseeing car, nothing but windows on either side of the train, including a skylight. At night you can look out the skylight and gaze up at the stars, it’s beyond stunning given the light pollution in the cities makes it hard to see the night sky fully.”

  “That… Does sound nice, it’s not often I get to just relax and see the night sky so clearly… I could even wear pajamas and be comfortable, that honestly sounds really nice…” She murmurs, smile growing further still.

  “Yeah Kags! I know you’re going to be in pain off and on that day but think of the train ride as a way to just relax and unwind. If you bring your bear with you as well then that’s another thing to help you relax, nothing like a train ride and cuddling with a friend to calm the nerves.” Kagura giggles a little as Mer’ania speaks, nodding a few times while tucking herself in against the demoness.

  “I never thought having a stuffed animal could calm me as much as you and Seraphine do, but… Ruby does. Maybe it’s because she’s a gift from you, but she really is comforting, having her and Seraphine with me helps me relax more than I’d ever thought I could.” She admits, though before speaking further she glares at Demetri,
who simply grins in response.

  “I know what you’re thinking, Demetri, but no. I’m not a child, and I don’t care whether or not I look like one.” Demetri merely chuckles before winking to her, hands linking together behind his head for a short while.

  “Man, you know me too well Grins, we spend far too much time around each other.” He teases, the brunette sticking her tongue out playfully the whole time.

  “We’ve been friends for four years now Demetri, I’d be surprised if I didn’t pick up on some of your habits. Like for example, I know you enjoy picking on me whenever I say or do something you can use against me.” Her remark is met with a slight shrug from the elf, Demetri continuing to grin all the while.

  “I know not to go too far, if I did, you’d start calling me Sparky again, or use wind to hit me with a pillow, which I can’t say I like in any fashion.” As he speaks, he gives Mer’ania a knowing glance, the demoness whistling innocently in response. “Teasing is one thing, but I’m not a bully, I know for a fact you’d all let me know if I was going too far.”

  “Unlike back in third year, when you didn’t hesitate to call me every name you could think of when I got my braces put on.” She scoffs, once more pouting and gazing elsewhere.

  “Hey, I apologized for that, alright! You didn’t speak to me for weeks, I apologized, what, twenty times before you forgave me? I know what I did was stupid, I didn’t think that you were so self-conscious about your appearance, but now I know. At any rate, things are different now, right? I tease you, you tease me back, it’s just what we do, and it’s honestly nice being able to banter back and forth with you playfully.” As Demetri speaks Kagura continues to pout, or at least, pretends to do so, a small smile forming before long.

  “Yeah, I know. I like having a friend I can tease and who isn’t afraid to tease me back. It’s honestly hard to stay mad at any of you guys, I mean, we’ve been friends for four years now, I can’t think of anything you guys could do to make me angry enough to hold a grudge, and I’m grateful for that.” As she speaks Kagura looks between her friends, remaining nestled in against Mer’ania’s side the whole time.