Christmas In Rose Bend

by Naima Simone

  Fear gripped her. Squeezed as tight as the hope, as the joy trying to sneak in between its suffocating grip. Though she’d forgiven Isaac, the scars of one father walking away after claiming to want her, to love her, still remained. She didn’t know Garrett Adams, and yet, her heart yearned to get to know him. To claim this second chance at having a father in her life.

  But she was scared.

  When she’d driven up here with Wolf and Ivy, she’d expected Garrett Adams to hear them out, and on the off chance that he ended up being her father, to say, Okay, thank you for the info, let’s keep in touch. That had been the best-case scenario. She hadn’t expected him to share this grand love story worthy of movie credits, stare at her in wonder and basically call her a gift he wanted in his life.

  As someone who people found it easy to leave, she didn’t understand how to react to this man desiring her presence. Desiring to stay.

  “I—” she splayed her fingers over her thighs, staring down at her upturned palms as if they contained the answers “—I honestly wasn’t expecting this. I’m not sure how to answer right now. I just wanted to let you know the truth. And to find out the truth.”

  “Thank you for coming here. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a reason to celebrate Christmas but believe me when I say that you are the best gift I could have ever received.” Garrett cleared his throat, glancing away from her, and her own throat tightened at the show of emotion in this man she sensed didn’t show affection easily or often. “I won’t push. But whenever you’re ready to talk, my door is always open to you. So much time has been wasted, and I’m just going to be honest. I hate the thought of any more passing between us. On that note, my home is yours. And yours.” He shifted his attention to Ivy. “I’m sorry for the loss of your father, Ivy. And in no way would I presume to try and replace him. But family of my daughter’s is family of mine. So this is your home also.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Adams.” Ivy glanced at Nessa, then Garrett.

  “Garrett, please.” He stood, holding his hand out to Nessa. “Thank you for coming to me. I know that couldn’t have been an easy decision. But I’m so grateful you did. I, uh...” He trailed off, paused. He briefly closed his eyes, then started again. “Your mother was the love of my life. There’s been an emptiness since she left, and meeting you, knowing I have a daughter with her, well... Let’s just say there’s more to life than business. You can call me Garrett, too, Nessa. Although, one day, I hope...” He cleared his throat again. “I hope to talk to you soon.”

  Nessa accepted his hand in hers, shaking it. Then, on a whim, she stepped into him. Hugging him. His arms closed around her, and he returned the embrace.

  “Thank you, Nessa,” he rasped. “Thank you so much.”

  For another moment, they stood there, holding one another, and Nessa choked back a sob. She’d found her father. Against all odds, she’d actually found her father.

  Thank you, Isaac.

  Reluctantly, she let him go, and he shifted away, offering his hand to Wolf and then to Ivy. Surreal. This was all so surreal.

  She’d come to Rose Bend without a father, a mother or a sister.

  Now she had a sister of the heart, a father by blood and a whole new perception of the mother she’d thought she’d known.

  Of course, her heart had been a little bruised but perfectly intact then, too.

  Now... She glanced at Wolf from under her lashes—and couldn’t prevent the frisson of pain that crackled through her. Last night, she’d had a premonition, a preview of the hurt he could inflict on her heart. Without even trying. Was she afraid? God, yes. Fucking terrified. Because she wouldn’t survive Wolf Dennison. Where Jeremy wounded her, she now understood that had been all it’d been—a wounding. An injury. If Wolf were to hurt her, abandon her... That blow would be lethal. And she couldn’t do it. He’d once called her brave, but she wasn’t. Because she couldn’t scrounge up the courage to take a risk on him as she’d done with Ivy and Garrett.

  Him, she wouldn’t survive.

  Garrett and her mother’s love story had taught her one lesson. Her heart couldn’t be broken if she didn’t put it on the line.

  So, she might be returning to Boston with a found family, but her heart?

  That was a different story.

  Nineteen

  WOLF GATHERED THE last of the tools he’d need before heading out to the town square to finish the gazebo. Just a few days before Christmas Eve, and it finally seemed like they were going to be done in time. The beams for the roof had already been cut to length; they just needed to be attached in place. Then he and Trevor would have to add the rest, including the fascia boards and shingles. The aesthetic designs wouldn’t take long at all, while another committee would be in charge of decorating it for the ceremony and concert that would take place on Christmas Eve evening.

  That full sense of accomplishment wouldn’t fill him until he stared at a completed job, but curls of it slid through his chest, winding around his rib cage. Satisfaction and pride that he could do this for his town, his brother. Maybe he was being too deep, but this gazebo didn’t just symbolize a structure from a time past for Rose Bend; it stood as a monument to family. To the fact that whenever the Dennisons called on one another for help, they always answered. And not out of obligation. Always out of love and loyalty.

  Take that, Jasper Landon.

  He smirked, mentally flipping off Rose Bend’s ex-mayor and Cole’s nemesis as he placed his tool belt on the table behind him. Grabbing his coat, he slipped it on just as the door to the workshop opened and Nessa stepped in. His fingers paused over the zipper. And he stared.

  Yeah, this was where he should play it cool. Politely inquire how she was doing. Pretend his heart hadn’t become a hammer striking against anvil.

  But let’s face it. He’d blown that cover yesterday when Ivy had found him in this very place and told him Nessa was crying over a box. He’d damn near broken the sound barrier racing to the inn, charging up the stairs and getting to her room. It hadn’t mattered then that she’d avoided him since seeing Olivia kiss him. Didn’t matter now that another afternoon and night had gone by since they’d returned from Little Bird Ski Lodge and her reunion with her father.

  The truth couldn’t be plainer.

  When it came to Nessa Hunt, he had no sense of self-preservation. He was like an animal with his head leaned back, throat exposed. Vulnerable, trusting, hoping the one on the other end would either show mercy or make it quick.

  “Nessa.” He leaned a hip against his worktable and crossed his arms over his chest. At the moment, he didn’t trust himself to keep his hands off her. The other day, she hadn’t minded, but those had been extraordinary circumstances. Today was, well...today. And the sense of dread curdling his gut didn’t strike him as an auspicious omen. “How’re you doing?”

  “Good,” she said, closing the door behind her and surveying his workshop. Her gaze landed on his tool cabinets, his projects in progress, pieces of wood, his table—landing everywhere but on him. Then, finally, she had nowhere else to look but at him. And the shadows in her dark eyes had him tightening his arms, battling the urge to push off the table and go to her, unease be damned. “I wanted to thank you for going with me to the ski lodge. For everything you did for me.”

  “You don’t need to thank me. I promised you I’d help in any way I could.”

  She nodded. “Yes, you did. After we returned from the lodge, Ivy told me she came here looking for you. And considering...everything, you didn’t have to come for me. Not everyone would have, Wolf. So I do need to thank you.”

  “By everything, you mean Olivia kissing me and you believing I wanted it. Or at the very least, believing I let it happen.” He arched an eyebrow, not letting her off the hook.

  Nessa moved farther into the room, stopping at the end of the table. She didn’t flinch from his direct gaze, met it head
-on.

  “I don’t believe you kissed her or that you let it happen. Yes, I was stunned and needed space and time. But at some point that night, I admitted to myself that you wouldn’t have kissed her. We might have met weeks ago and been lovers less than that, but I know you, Wolf. You have too much integrity to have done something like that. Especially in front of most of the town. You’re not a stupid man either.”

  Relief poured through him so strong, it left him a little light-headed.

  “Then what the hell, Nessa?” he asked, dropping his arms and approaching her. “For days you’ve avoided me, treating me like I was the damn villain in that scenario, when you’re telling me you don’t believe I was at fault?”

  “I had to get there, Wolf. Because that wasn’t my first thought. With the choice of believing you or my eyes? I believed my eyes. But later, after a sleepless night, I knew the truth. I don’t know why I was surprised, though.” She laughed, the sound dry. “Olivia warned me she had every intention of getting you back.”

  “I have a choice in that, and I don’t want her. I haven’t in a long time.”

  Nessa cocked her head to the side, studied him, and he allowed it. Let her see what he’d said—and what he hadn’t. A corner of her mouth quirked, but the half smile didn’t hold humor. “Do you remember the night of the Christmas tree lighting? The first night you saw her? You could barely speak to her. As a matter of fact, I don’t think you did. The tension between you was so thick, I didn’t need anyone to tell me you two had a past—you relayed that info all by yourself with your actions. No, Wolf.” She slowly shook her head. “In my experience, if you still have that much emotion connected to someone, then that door isn’t closed. You haven’t truly let go of that person.”

  “I can’t decide if you truly believe that or if you’re digging to find something to put between us so you can justify walking away.”

  “Wolf,” she murmured.

  “No, Nessa. I’m not making it easy for you. That’s what you want. To hide behind that wall that’s a shield for you. I should know. I have my own. Had. I had my own until you came into my life and I didn’t need it anymore. Not with you.” He flattened his hands on the table, leaning forward. “But let’s play this your way. That night of the lighting. Do you want to know what my reaction was about, or does it matter? Because your mind is already made up, isn’t it? You already have one foot out of this shop. Out of Rose Bend.”

  “Our arrangement was temporary. You promised me no strings, no attachments.” A note of desperation crept into her voice.

  His heart—his foolish, foolish heart—tried to soften, but he deliberately hardened it. They needed to do this. To get all of this out there and said.

  “If that were true, baby, you wouldn’t be in here so desperately trying to cut those strings,” he said, gently. Firmly.

  “I told you I wasn’t a good bet. That there wasn’t anything happily-ever-after about me.” She slashed a hand through the air. “You don’t get to change the terms now because they don’t suit you.”

  “Go ahead, Nessie. Fight,” he whispered. “Fight hard for that wall. To protect your heart. To keep from being hurt anymore.”

  She reeled back, her chin jerking as if his words were physical blows. “Is that what you’re lowering yourself to? Mocking me? Does that make you feel better?”

  “Making fun of you? Baby.” He shook his head, closing in on her, erasing the distance separating them. He cupped her cheeks. “Never. I’m refusing to let you go. This is me fighting for you. Why is it that you don’t recognize it when you see it?” He stroked his thumb over her silken skin. “I’ll throw down for you even if it means battling against that part of you that doesn’t believe you’re worthy of happily-ever-afters.”

  Her eyes glistened, and her sharp catch of breath brushed his palm. She wrenched out of his hold, spinning around and giving him her back.

  Go to her. Hold her.

  The urge kicked at him, but he resisted. This had to be her choice. And she had to choose them.

  She had to choose herself.

  Just as he had. Fighting that part of him that whispered he wasn’t enough, that he was two steps from driving her away, was hell. But he did it. Because she was worth it. They were worth it.

  “At that lighting, you saw my shame. My guilt. Not my love for Olivia. I couldn’t look at her without remembering how I’d failed in being a provider, a protector—again. How I hadn’t been enough. Again. She was a reminder of my failure. That’s why I couldn’t look at her, couldn’t speak. I felt choked by that. But here’s the truth, Nessa. Even if there had been any feelings left in me for Olivia, it wouldn’t have happened. Because just hours earlier, I’d bumped into you. The moment I picked that wreath off your hair, the possibility of you became better than the absolute of anyone.”

  She slowly turned around and stared at him.

  “I love you.”

  He saw the moment panic flashed in her eyes. Noted the moment he made a mistake.

  Saw the moment she would run.

  “You can’t—you don’t mean that. It’s only been... No. Take it back.” The terror in her eyes edged into her voice, sharpened it. “That’s not what we are. You promised.”

  “I’m not taking it back,” he softly said. Even though pain streaked through him like fire, branding him, tenderness for this woman beat within him. “Everyone who has said they loved you has left you, abandoned you. Your mom. Isaac. Your ex. And now you’re afraid to trust in me, in my love for you. I understand that fear, Nessa. And I can’t take it away for you. I can’t make you believe me. You said you knew me. Well, then you should know that I would never willingly leave you or hurt you. I wouldn’t betray the gift of your heart.”

  “You don’t know that,” she whispered. “You can’t possibly promise that. No one can promise me that...”

  “I can, and I do. But what I can’t do is be brave for you. I can catch you if you fall, but, baby, you have to be willing to take the leap. You’ll never know if I’ll follow through if you never try me. I’m begging you to try me.”

  Please. Please, Nessa. Take a chance.

  But even as the plea ran through his head, he knew she wouldn’t. Some scars ran too deep. Same with fears.

  She couldn’t trust him, because when it came down to it, Nessa didn’t trust herself.

  “I can’t be who you need, Wolf. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  She turned and exited the workshop, the air redolent with the remorse and grief in her voice.

  It was all he had left of her.

  Twenty

  “THANK YOU FOR coming with me, Dad.” Wolf shut off his truck and stared out the windshield at the ranch-style house that had once been as familiar to him as his own home.

  He hadn’t been to the Brandt home since the last time he’d been here with Raylon, when they’d both been on leave more than eight years ago. It’d been at least that long because he hadn’t felt like he’d been welcome in this house. Hell, he still didn’t know. But it was long past time he found out.

  “Of course, son.” Ian patted Wolf’s knee. “I’m always here for you. Always.”

  Wolf nodded. But he didn’t move out of the truck.

  “Wolf, it’s going to be okay,” his father murmured. “Now get your ass out of this truck.”

  With a snort, Wolf grabbed the door handle and pushed. “Thanks for the pep talk.”

  “Like I said, I’m always here for you.”

  Chuckling, Wolf stepped out of his truck and joined his father on the sidewalk outside the Brandt home. His pulse was a dull roar inside his head, his heart a bass drum. He moved forward up the walk strictly by muscle memory, and as he and his father climbed the porch stairs, the front door opened. Carol Brandt stepped outside.

  Wolf froze.

  Carol didn’t.

  Strong a
rms enveloped him first. A warm vanilla-and-cinnamon scent the next.

  A sob welled up inside him, and he enfolded the woman who’d once been a second mother to him in a tight embrace. He held back his tears, but he didn’t let her go. Which was okay, because she didn’t seem inclined to release him just yet either.

  “It’s about time you got here,” she finally said, gripping his arms. “I’ve been waiting a long time for you to get your head on straight. And good God, I thought my Raylon was stubborn.”

  He tried to smile, but his lips failed to curve. Instead, he searched her face for any sign of regret, of anger...of accusation. “I thought you blamed me. I didn’t want to cause you any more pain than I already had.”

  “No, Wolf. If anyone is to blame for all of this, it’s me. I said some very ugly things to you when you first came home. By the time I came out of my own grief and remembered all that I hurt you with, I was so ashamed. And it’s guilt that’s kept me from approaching you and apologizing, fearful that you wouldn’t be able to forgive me. Please forgive me.”

  “No,” he insisted. “God, no, there’s nothing to forgive.”

  “Well, I don’t know about that, but thank you. C’mon in. You, too, Ian. I just took cookies out of the oven. I’ll put a pot of coffee on and we can have a long-overdue talk about what you’ve been up to. And checks. Lots of checks.” She arched a graying eyebrow.

  Wolf grinned, and though his heart had patches and cracks in it, God, it was lighter. “Yes, ma’am.”

  * * *

  NESSA STARED AT THE—okay, there was no other word for it—feast laid out before her on the table in the ski lodge’s private dining room. She lifted her head from the smorgasbord of ham, green beans, brown rice, chicken, greens, corn, asparagus and gravy to look at Garrett.

  “Is someone else joining us?”

  He smiled, sheepish. “Since I wasn’t sure what you like, I might have gone a little overboard.”