Winter's Edge (The Crimson Winter Reverse Harem Series Book 1)

by Lindsey R. Loucks

  "Doesn’t that bald guy know you live there?" Grady asked.

  "Yeah, but Margin’s Row is farther away than here. If he's stupid enough to come get me just for revenge in winter, he's not going to last long anyway."

  "Aika," Archer said softly, "even if we do this, what about Hellbreath?"

  The pit of my stomach dropped out because I didn't know. She could barely stand, let alone travel. I'd felt okay leaving her with Archer and Grady, but if all of us left, then what?

  "I know someone who might take her," Grady said. "He knows a lot about horses."

  "So…give her away to someone." I swallowed hard. Losing her would cut me deep, but if it meant she could be taken care of, then I had to do it. After winter, I could get her back. If… Well, I’d leave it at that. If.

  Sasha wormed her way into my lap, and I held her with my good arm so she and I could see the two shifters.

  Grady sighed as he pushed to his feet. "If we're going to do this, then we can't just sit here with winter only two days away. We need to pack this place up. We need to have a foolproof plan. We need to be ready for what comes next."

  "War," Archer said simply. "If we take back Ronin, there will be war. Maybe not right away with winter, but Faust and his pack will come for us."

  I nodded. "And the bald man will come for me. The man who took over my baba's poison business. Maybe now or maybe after winter. But he’ll come for me." Of that, I was sure. The viciousness behind what he said he would do to me wasn’t the kind of thing that would just go away. I’d be ready though. I’d have to be.

  "Twice the war, then.” Archer bent with his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands, and his black hair curtaining him off. “Honestly, I'm not sure about those odds. Do we even have a chance?"

  "Do we have a choice?” Grady asked him, his tone as soft as I imagined it could ever get.

  Archer didn't immediately answer, and I didn't blame him for his hesitation. He had already lost so much. They both had. Doing this could mean risking more than they should.

  Archer released a long breath. "Ronin belongs with her pack."

  Grady slapped his hands on his thighs loud enough to make me jump. "That she does."

  "You two are finally agreeing on something?" I asked in mock awe.

  Archer sat up and looked first at Sasha and then at me with a glint of hope in his eyes that kindled deep inside my heart. "First time for everything, I guess."

  I grinned, and he grinned right back, perfect reflections of our broken souls on the path to healing.

  We spent the next several hours planning and packing our few belongings.

  "What about the books?" I asked Archer as he crossed back and forth through the kitchen.

  "Those aren't ours. They were here when we got here."

  "You mean someone just left them?" I stared at them through Sasha’s eyes as I stood before them, incredulous that someone could abandon so many.

  "Well, books don't travel well to the afterlife."

  "Oh. The person before…"

  "Died. He was older, I think, maybe senile, and wandered right into the Crimson Forest."

  I brushed my hand over them, feeling the worn spines and the letters etched into them. My favorite as a kid had been thick and green with golden lettering on the cover. I couldn't remember what it was called, or anything else about it really, or even who'd read it to me since that was long before Jade. But I remembered I loved it and felt a rush of excitement when I hugged it to my chest. Maybe it was here.

  "Aika," Archer said from almost right next to me. I’d been so lost in the idea of books that I hadn't even heard him come closer, and Sasha was too busy lazily batting at a red ribbon dangling from a book to notice. "Can you read?"

  I tried for a smile and shook my head. "I started to learn before I went blind. I'd study my brother’s old school papers to teach myself, but afterward… My baba said it cost way too much money to learn to read by feel, and the library in Margin didn't have anything to help."

  He was watching me closely, the firelight next to the bookshelf playing across his dark eyes. "I could teach you."

  "You can learn by feel?"

  "Well, no, but I could learn and then teach you."

  My jaw dropped. "You would…" My chest warmed at the very idea that he'd do something like that—basically learn a whole new language—just for me. Especially when most people I'd ever known wouldn't bother. "But…when?"

  He chuckled. "Probably not today."

  A laugh bubbled up from inside me, making everything hurt again, but I didn't care. "You would do that?"

  He brushed my fingers with his, triggering a thrill straight up my arm. "That night—the one when you heard a noise outside and you came out here to investigate. When you found the books, you smiled so big, bigger than I'd ever seen on you before. And when you first got here and I read you stories, I think you forgot you were hurt for a while."

  "Either that or I couldn't get enough of the reader's deep voice." I snapped my mouth shut. Oh, for fuck's sake. Why had I just admitted that out loud? I’d blame it on the extra cup of opiate tea he’d given me for the pain in my shoulder.

  He chuckled low and then touched my chin. "You like the sound of my voice?"

  I liked everything about him, but I just nodded and chomped down on my tongue in case more truths came out that I wasn't quite ready to reveal.

  "Well, I could read to you and teach you." He grazed his fingertip upward and traced the curve of my lower lip.

  I felt the feather-light touch throughout my entire body in fiery shocks that made me shiver. "I would love that," I admitted.

  “Yeah?” He slid his finger along the seam of my lips and stepped closer.

  The air between us grew heavy, making it harder to breathe. My heartbeat kicked up at his nearness, and tingling heat perked my nipples and sank lower in dizzying spirals. His lips touched mine briefly, and then again, harder. I sighed into his kiss and opened my mouth to him, winding my good arm around his wide shoulders. His tongue slid against mine in long, sensual strokes, and I gasped at how good it felt. He cupped my face in his large hands and tilted my head to kiss me deeper, more urgently. His body pressed up against mine and towered over me. It felt like he was trying to kiss my soul, and I wanted him to. I wanted him to kiss everything, every part of me.

  With a raspy groan, he pulled away from my kiss and dipped lower to my neck, one arm wrapping around to squeeze my ass. I moaned as I slid my hand to the back of his long hair and twined the silky strands around my fingers. He nudged his hips against mine as he backed us toward the couch, and his hard heat hit me right between the legs. Careful of my shoulder, he lowered me to the couch, kissing his way back to my mouth again.

  "So good," he breathed against my lips.

  He brought one hand down my neck to the swell of my chest and cupped my breast over the flannel I wore. I arched into his palm, my hips thrusting forward into his.

  "More," I whispered. It sounded like I was begging, but I didn't care.

  His hips ground against mine as he moved his hand up under my flannel. I whimpered at the feel of his flesh rubbing over my aching nipple. I tore away from his kiss, lost in the sensation of wanting him. Of him wanting me.

  The door opened, and we flew away from each other while I yanked my shirt back down and panted embarrassingly loud.

  "Did I interrupt something?" Grady asked.

  "Yes," Archer growled.

  "No," I said at the same time, but it was pretty obvious he had.

  "Well, you might be interested that I did talk to the guy about Hellbreath. He's willing to take her off our hands later today."

  "Thank you, Grady." The words came out breathy and insincere when really I felt grateful. Damn hormones.

  He grunted as he lowered himself to the couch. "Now since I’m not interrupting anything, have a seat here and describe everything you can about Old Man’s Den so I can draw up a map. Archer will just have to carry on without you
by himself."

  I could hear the giant grin in his voice.

  "I need a lock with a key you don't have, you fucking shit for brains," Archer snapped and then stomped into the kitchen.

  "They're called bedrooms, man. Or just fuck in front of me. I don't care." Grady patted the cushion next to him loudly. "Get it out of your systems before we go get Ronin so you can focus."

  Sighing, I tried to describe Old Man’s Den, but Archer had gotten me so riled up, I could hardly think straight. I knew I had to get this right so they'd know where they were going. Besides, we only had one shot at this. If there were any mistakes, it could mean our lives. Eventually, though, he had a drawn map of the town.

  "Let me go get Sasha so you can check it." He palmed my thigh before he got up to go down the hall.

  I frowned after him. Why had he done that? He'd never touched me before except while sleeping here on the couch…where I'd cuddled up to him in an opium tea haze thinking he was Archer. Did he even know I'd done that? I placed my hand where his had been. Even though I'd thought he was Archer that morning, I remembered how he felt tucked against me. Achingly soft with hard muscle forming perfectly to my body.

  And the way he'd protected me after I'd crashed off the sleigh. The way he'd saved me from the Crimson Forest…

  Hell, what was wrong with me? Wolf shifter females had more than one mate, but I was not a wolf shifter. Being around them didn't change that. I was attracted to Archer, and that was it.

  But when Grady handed me a wriggling Sasha, our fingers brushed. My heartbeat stalled at the rush of energy between our flesh, at the idea of him. The wolf shifters and I had a connection that was hard to deny, and not just physical either. They'd accepted me for who I am, saved me countless times, and trusted me enough to help carry out this plan.

  "Are you just going to make Sasha stare at me, or are you going to look at the map?" Grady asked.

  She and I were both staring. His chiseled jawline, his sharp cheekbones, his bulging shoulder pressed against my good one…his deep, unwavering gaze with eyes the color of gunmetal.

  "Focus, Aika," he said.

  I turned Sasha toward the paper he held out and kissed the top of her head so she'd go limp in my arms. There were words written on the page, but the basic drawing of Old Man’s Den’s one street was accurate.

  "I don't know what you've written there," I said, pointing vaguely while still holding Sasha.

  "I was in a hurry."

  "That's not what I meant."

  "You can't read?"

  I shook my head. Might as well make that common knowledge. "Archer said he'd learn to read by feel—braille, I think it’s called—and teach it to me."

  "Did he now? That's awfully big of him, but when is he going to find time to do that? We agreed we'd go south, not move in with you. Unless I fell asleep at the important bits?"

  "No one said anything about moving in with me,” I snapped.

  Archer strode down the hallway toward us. "In less than two days' time, winter will be here. Wherever we happen to be where there's shelter, that's where we'll have to stay."

  "And?” Grady said. “Aika has her own family. We have ours."

  The separation shredded me apart with the brutal reminder. We were not the same. We never would be the same, and to Grady at least, that mattered a lot. I was already different, but I didn't want to be so different that I couldn't continue to know them after tomorrow. Especially Archer.

  “After this,” Grady continued, “she'll go home with her family, and we'll keep looking for ours when we can."

  "We'll find ours in Old Man’s Den tomorrow," Archer said. “Thomas is gone. When will you get that through your thick head?”

  "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over your sexual frustration,” Grady shot back. “We find Ronin tomorrow. We find Timothy eventually."

  "Eventually." Archer scoffed, and I could almost hear the sound of his eyes rolling around his head in annoyance.

  "But if you stayed for a while, stayed in Margin's Row, you could stay with us." I looked to Archer more than Grady, though I knew they would never separate.

  "So you survive the winter." Grady’s voice went hard like an accusation.

  "Well…yes. I never did get the money for food—"

  "So steal it,” he said. “While we're burning buildings down in Old Man’s Den, kidnapping and starting a war, it seems like the perfect time for some thievery. Take money. Take food for winter."

  Well, he had a point there. Might as well go all in with the crimes while we were there. Jade and Lee could help me

  "You're quite an influence, you know that?" I said, unable to help myself.

  "I do, yeah." Grady slammed his hand down on the map in front of my feet, so loud even Sasha jumped. "So is the rest of it right or not?"

  “For fuck’s sake, can you not be so loud for once in your life?" I shouted.

  "I have to be so Archy will listen to my infinite wisdom," he said.

  Archer shook his head. "Sorry, what?"

  "Stop talking so I can concentrate," I snapped. "Swear to god, you two bickering make me want to fling myself back into the Crimson Forest."

  "Quiet, Grady,” Archer said.

  "Me? Fuck you," he bit out.

  Gritting my teeth, I angled Sasha down so I could see the map. Whatever was making them act like idiots—stress over tomorrow, the cramped quarters, the coming winter—made me want to stick their mouths shut with frozen molasses. I focused on the buildings and their locations rather than the words I couldn’t read this time.

  "The window into Faust’s tavern?" I pointed.

  "That's it," Grady said.

  "The abandoned jailhouse?”

  "Yep."

  The times I’d been to Old Man’s Den, I’d paid attention to what the locals were saying. The jail had been abandoned, the law enforcement run off—or killed.

  "Looks good. It's all there." Even the brothel where I’d find Jade, and hopefully Lee.

  "Then I suggest we leave here as soon as possible," Archer said. “There’s a rickety old cabin up north a few miles we can stay in tonight in case the bald guy comes back.”

  While they packed up the sleigh, I said my goodbyes to Hellbreath. I felt like I owed her an explanation of why I was just handing her over to a total stranger, and she listened while I cried. With one last parting kiss, I left her, my heart splintering with every step I took away from her.

  When the man came to pick her up, he also brought a sleigh of sorts that dragged behind four other horses. He said he only lived about two miles away and he seemed nice enough, but I couldn’t squeeze out any questions for him through the lump in my throat.

  We left shortly after, and our new cabin couldn’t compare with the old. It was barely four walls leaning against a roof, but it did have a fireplace. We cooked over it, and I requested the smallest does of opiate tea possible so my brain would stay sharp for tomorrow.

  Afterward, I curled my body around Sasha's next to the fire, but my mind wouldn't shut off. It kept replaying details of our plan for tomorrow as if my subconscious would forget. Not likely. I'd committed everything to memory like I suspected Archer and Grady had. Tomorrow was far too important to make even the smallest mistake.

  Sasha, on the other hand, went right to sleep, her little furry body warm and comforting. I pressed my lips between her ears—one of my very favorite places in all existence—and matched my breaths to hers.

  The hairs along my arms prickled with the sensation that I was being watched over the crackling fire by two different sets of eyes. Watching me with Sasha. I’d grown too attached to her, and to Archer too. Yes, we weren't the same, but that didn't matter when it came to caring for something. The heart loved who it loved, and there wasn't much anyone could do about it.

  "Aika," Archer said, his voice soft and sleepy.

  "Yeah?"

  A pause, then, "How were you poisoned?"

  I firmed my mouth to keep anything from esca
ping. Those memories stirred up countless others, all of which hollowed out my chest and made me ache for another life. One where I wasn't me.

  Useless.

  So useless and broken.

  "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

  I'd never told anyone. Not even Jade, though I bet she suspected. She didn't miss much. But what did I have to lose by explaining what happened? They'd told me how they were poisoned. Talking about that and their pack mates seemed to help them…I don't know, face what happened. Reconcile it with the other horrors in this world. Remember the sharp ache so it might not sting so much the next time they thought about it.

  "My baba…" I started, trying to figure out how to put this into words when it still didn't make any sense. "He wasn't the one who invented the poison. It was my ama. She was gifted in herbs and had supposedly helped her Baba make moonshine before coming here with her best friend—Lee and Jade’s mom—from the Far East. But she didn't know how much of her poisonous concoction was deadly or how much it took to significantly slow someone down."

  I opened my mouth to explain the next part, but decided to backtrack first. Both directions filled me with dread, the spiky hot kind that swallowed up my neck.

  "Ama wasn't a nice person. She yelled and screamed when something wasn't done right, even the smallest thing. She'd whip my brother and sister. She shouted at my baba and called him all sorts of things. And me… Well, I just got in her way and asked too many questions. So she decided to shut me up."

  A slow, shaky breath sounded over the crackling fire, loud enough that it seemed Archer had been holding it for a while. Silence from Grady, not even a snore.

  "She—" My voice wobbled because I could see her in my memory, stalking toward me with a glass container. She was shouting at five-year-old-me, telling me how useless I was. "She poured the poison down my throat. Not too long after, I started losing my sight."

  "How old were you?" Grady asked, almost in a whisper.

  "Five."

  A low hiss from Grady. A string of impressive curses from Archer.

  I barely heard them though. It was as if someone else were telling this story, as if it hadn’t happened to me but to someone else. Even so, I couldn't stop. The fastener on my lips had come undone.