A Baby Before Dawn

by Linda Castillo

  They hit traffic at Atlantic Avenue, but Chase took the Toyota over the curb and onto the sidewalk, laying on the horn to get two unwitting pedestrians out of the way. He crashed through a closed newspaper kiosk to get around a stalled delivery truck. Canvas and paper and fragments of wood billowed past the passenger window. Lily held on for dear life as he jumped the curb a second time and took them back onto the street.

  They didn’t speak until they reached the Charlestown Bridge on the north side of town. Stranded cars and delivery trucks were parked along the roadway like discarded Tonka toys, but the bridge was open. Chase took the loop to Interstate 93 and headed north toward New Hampshire.

  “Should be clear sailing from here,” he said.

  Lily didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. If she laughed she would surely become hysterical; if she cried she might not be able to stop. She wasn’t sure which would be worse. So much had happened in the past few hours. Her life had changed drastically. Not only because she’d faced death, but because a man she’d thought was out of her life forever was back, and her heart was telling her nothing had changed.

  Too many emotions jammed her heart, overwhelmed her mind. All the old feelings were still there, like a dormant fever, waiting to erupt. He was a good man. He’d saved her life multiple times tonight. But he’d also been one to bring danger into her world. Most troubling of all was the knowledge that he’d introduced that same danger into her baby’s life, too.

  How could she have such powerful feelings for a man who would undoubtedly bring worry and pain and possibly future danger into her life?

  Lily didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to feel. Emotions coiled and churned inside her like a cauldron of acid eating her alive. As they sped past the state line into New Hampshire, the dam finally broke. Leaning forward, she put her face in her hands and began to cry. Not just a little, but great shaking sobs she felt all the way to her belly. She wasn’t sure why she was crying; tears never helped anything. But exhaustion and fear and adrenaline had a way of breaking a girl down. Combine that with her conflicting feelings for Chase and she had an emotional meltdown on her hands.

  “Lily.”

  Chase’s voice carried over her sobs, broke into her thoughts. But she couldn’t answer. Didn’t want to look at him. He was an astute man, and she wasn’t exactly sure what her expression would tell him.

  “Honey, what’s wrong? Are you in pain? Is it the baby?”

  Taking a deep breath in an effort to regain control of herself, she risked a look at him. If she hadn’t been crying, she might have laughed. Of all the harrowing experiences they’d weathered, he looked most frightened at this moment.

  “The baby’s fine.”

  “What is it, then?”

  Not sure how to answer, Lily wiped her eyes and turned to the window. A breath shuddered out of her and the sobs subsided. But she couldn’t stop thinking about how close they’d come to getting killed. That because of Chase, a man she cared for deeply, she had come very close to dying before giving birth to their innocent child.

  The thought broke her heart—and drove home the fact that she could not let herself get entangled with him again.

  “Hey,” he said gently, “what is it?”

  She jolted when he reached across the seat and covered her hand with his. “I can’t talk about this right now,” she said.

  “Talk about what?”

  “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  That silenced him; she could practically feel his mind spinning through possible reasons for her behavior. But he didn’t release her hand. “Honey, if you’re hurting, you need to tell me.”

  The statement almost made her laugh. Physically, she was fine. For the most part, anyway, considering the stress of the past hours. Emotionally, she was, indeed, hurting. She was frazzled and more confused than she’d ever been. Before this day, she’d known beyond a shadow of a doubt where she was going and who she was. She’d formulated a life plan for herself and her unborn child. Then Chase Vickers had waltzed back into her life and thrown her neat and orderly plan into total disarray.

  “Lily, talk to me.”

  She didn’t even look at him. Instead, she stared through the window at the eastern sky where the sun peeked through the dark clouds. A new day, she thought, and promised herself she would not repeat the mistakes of her past.

  THE SLAMMING OF A CAR DOOR jolted Lily awake. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sleeping, but it was fully light. The car was parked in a neat gravel lot surrounded by lush maple and sycamore trees. A manicured lawn stretched to a tiny Victorian-style cottage nestled within another copse of trees.

  She glanced over to see Chase slide behind the wheel. Though he’d been up the entire night, he looked rested, relaxed and…breathtakingly handsome.

  Not wanting to go there, she sat up and looked around. “What time is it?”

  “Almost eight.”

  “Where are we?”

  “Midway to Shane’s house. I haven’t been able to reach him on his cell, so I thought we’d stop and get some rest, eat and shower up.”

  The thought of a shower appealed to her immensely. Even more appealing was the thought of food. Having not eaten a meal since before her shift at the hospital, she was famished. And exhausted. Aside from a couple of catnaps, it had been almost twenty-four hours since she’d had any real rest. As Chase crossed in front of the car and opened her door, Lily didn’t miss the fact that he scanned the quiet, tree-shrouded road, and she wondered if either of them would be able to relax long enough to sleep.

  He offered his hand, but Lily didn’t take it and struggled from the passenger seat on her own. He pretended not to notice the slight. Thunder rumbled in the distance as they stepped onto the small wooden porch of the cottage Chase had rented from the manager of the cottage colony about a quarter mile up the road. Lily glanced over her shoulder to see dark clouds billowing and she knew before long they would get rain.

  Chase used the key and swung open the door. Lily smiled at the sight of the charming room. It was small but tastefully decorated with dark antique furniture. Two full-size beds were covered with cream and navy matching comforters. On the center night table, a fake Tiffany lamp cast a circle of warm yellow light. A print of a Monet seascape hung on the wall above a tiny round table.

  The room smelled pleasantly of sandalwood and lemon oil. Lily walked past the beds and spotted a dozen votive candles on the vanity. None of them were lit, but she could smell the vanilla from where she stood. Under the right circumstances, she might have enjoyed staying here. But the circumstances were anything but ideal. Except for the man, a traitorous voice interjected.

  “I thought I’d run out and get us some food.”

  Lily turned to find Chase standing just a foot away, watching her. She acknowledged the worry in his eyes, and promised herself she wouldn’t let his concern for her get to her no matter how handsome he was. No matter how powerful her attraction to him.

  “I’m starving,” she managed after a moment.

  “I wish I could offer you more than a burger and fries.”

  “Believe me, a burger and fries will not be a hardship.”

  He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Do you need anything else? Toiletries? There’s a drugstore in town.”

  “A strawberry shake.”

  A smile emerged and it changed his entire face. His topaz eyes shimmered like some tropical sea on a sunny day. Laugh lines appeared on either side of his chiseled mouth. Lily found herself thinking of the kiss they’d shared back in Boston and an emotion she did not want to acknowledge stirred deep inside her.

  “I’d forgotten about your weakness for ice cream,” he said.

  Returning the smile, she pressed her hand to her abdomen. “You know. Hormones.”

  He glanced toward her belly. For a moment, Lily thought he was going to cross the distance between them, perhaps set his own hand against the place where she carried his child.
She held her breath, not sure what she would do if he did so. Would she step back? Or would she share the moment with him? Or maybe step into his arms the way she had seven-and-a-half months ago…

  The sound of car tires crunching over gravel made her jump. A cold finger of fear skittered up her spine when Chase went to the window, parted the drapes and peered out. When he turned to her, his face was solemn. “Just a family pulling into another cottage down the road.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.” He offered a dry smile. “Screaming kids. There’s no hit man alive who would brave that in the name of cover.”

  The humor was lost on Lily. Her imagination had already gone into overdrive. “What if those men followed us? What if they find—”

  “No one followed us,” he interjected. “I promise.” He glanced toward the door. “Look, I’m going to go pick up the food. Why don’t you lie down and relax for a while.”

  Lily didn’t want to admit she was frightened to stay here alone. She’d always prided herself on her independence. But the past several hours had proved to her she was light-years out of her element. This was the one time when she welcomed his protection.

  As if reading her thoughts, he stepped forward and set his hand against her cheek. “You’ll be fine for a few minutes,” he said gently. “I promise. I’ll be right back.” He grinned. “Think strawberry shake.”

  Lily managed to smile back. “I’m going to hold you to it.”

  “Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he said, and slipped out the door.

  After watching him pull away, Lily didn’t waste any time and headed directly for the bathroom where an antique claw-foot tub beckoned. She turned on the faucets and stripped. On the vanity, she found a sample-size bottle of scented bath crystals, shampoo and a fancy little soap made in Paris. The small, everyday items seemed ridiculously luxurious in light of the past hours, and she took full advantage.

  After lighting the candles, she found a fluffy white robe hanging at the back of the door and draped it over the towel rack near the tub. Steam rose from the water as she stuck her toes into the bubbles to test the temperature. Sighing with pleasure, she stepped into the tub and sank into bubbles until they tickled the bottom of her chin.

  Outside, rain had begun to fall. She could hear fat drops pinging on the roof and window. Distant thunder rumbled. Inside, the scents of lavender and vanilla floated lazily in the air. Slowly, the warm water lulled her into the state of relaxation she sought.

  She tried not to think about Chase. There was no way she could sort through all of her conflicting feelings for him. Just because he was the father of her child didn’t mean she would fall for him again. It didn’t mean they were going to have any kind of relationship. Lily had made that decision months ago and she intended to stick with it.

  But when she closed her eyes, it was Chase she saw, his topaz eyes looking at her as if she were the only woman in the world. His hands, smooth as silk, running through her hair, skimming down her body. His hard mouth finding hers, trailing kisses to places that caused her to shiver with delight…

  “Cut it out,” she murmured. “He is so wrong for you.”

  Wiping the unwanted and totally inappropriate thoughts of him from her mind, she leaned back and closed her eyes. Just for a few minutes, she promised herself, and let herself drift.

  PARKED AT THE REAR of Beefy’s Burger Palace, Chase pulled the cell phone from his pocket, thankful for some battery life, and quickly dialed Ben Parker.

  The other man picked up on the first ring. “Where are you?”

  “New Hampshire.” Chase got right to the point. “Any news on Shea?”

  “We’ve got every available agent on it. It’s been tough because of the blackout. We’re looking hard, but so far we have nada.”

  Chase muttered a curse. “I need to talk to Ty and Ethan Matalon. I haven’t been able to reach them on their cells. I also need Shane, but he’s not picking up.” Static sounded and he tapped the cell phone. “My damn phone is about to die.”

  “I’ll keep trying them for you and have them contact you.” A thoughtful pause ensued. “Are you and Lily all right?”

  “For now. I lost them, but these bastards are relentless.”

  Ben paused. “Did you know Liam Shea has three sons?”

  “Now that you mention it, I do remember hearing that in the years I worked with him.” Something pinged in the back of Chase’s brain. “You think the sons picked up where their old man left off?”

  “Loyalty can be a powerful motivator.”

  “Especially if they think their father was somehow wronged.”

  “I’ll get on the horn. See what else I can dig up on them.” Ben Parker fell silent for a moment. “Look, the offer still stands if you want me to get you set up in a safe house.”

  “I’m taking her to Shane Peters’s house.”

  “Your half brother? I thought you two were on the outs?”

  “We are, but I know he’ll come through on this.”

  “Where’s his house?”

  Chase hesitated, not wanting to get too specific. He’d always trusted Ben. But if the FBI agent was playing both sides of the coin, Chase needed to know. Setting a trap was the only way to smoke him out. He’d already decided to tuck Lily away in a motel before arriving at Shane’s house, in case he walked into an ambush. If he did, he would know Ben was a spy. “It’s about fifty miles from here. Near the town of Bretton Woods. Can you give Shane a call and let him know to expect me? Let him know we’re going to need some additional security.”

  “You got it.”

  The phone beeped. Chase looked down, saw that the battery was just about dead. “I gotta go, Ben. I’ll try to pick up another phone or get this one charged.”

  But the line was already dead.

  “Damn it.”

  Looking in both directions, Chase pulled onto the rain-slicked street and headed toward the cottage. The aromas of burgers and French fries filled the car, making his mouth water. When he looked over and saw the strawberry shake, he thought of Lily and smiled.

  What the hell was he going to do about her? About the baby? About his feelings for them? Chase had decided a long time ago he couldn’t be with her. Not on a long-term basis, anyway. Not that she would have him, he reminded himself. Chances were, she wouldn’t want him in their child’s life, either.

  Could he live with that?

  The truth of the matter was Chase wanted to know his child. He wanted it so much his chest ached with it. But how could he when Lily was so adamant about not wanting him around? Even if she agreed to some sort of visitation, how could he be around her and not go mad with wanting her? There was no way he could settle for just being friends with Lily. He would always want more. If he got the chance, he would take more. But he knew it would invariably cost him a piece of his soul.

  To make the situation even more complicated, after the past hours, he had to take into consideration the possibility that his presence might place them in danger. It was a terrible dilemma to which there was no easy resolution.

  The harsh realities of the situation he faced ate at him like acid as he parked outside the cottage and killed the engine. Gathering the food and drinks, he left the car, unlocked the cottage door and entered. The first thing that struck him was the silence. He’d expected to open the door to find Lily sitting on the bed, sleeping or watching television.

  Where the hell was she?

  Alarmed, Chase set the bag and drinks on the small table. Pulling the pistol from his waistband, he crept into the room and silently closed the door behind him. He checked the closet, found it empty. He could hear the hard thud of his heart, feel the edgy snap of adrenaline. Fear pulsed through him in a terrible rush.

  With the stealth of a predator, he sidled to the bathroom. Using the muzzle of the gun, he eased open the door. Only then did he notice the swirling steam, the scents of lavender and vanilla. A few feet away, Lily lay back in the claw-foot tub, a wet clot
h over her face.

  The sight of her froze him in place. For a moment, he could do nothing but stare. She’d piled her hair on top of her head in an unruly mass. Red tendrils curled around her face. Her throat was long and elegant and impossibly delicate. Lower, he could see the tops of her breasts where a tiny heart pendant lay against porcelain flesh. He’d given that pendant to her two years ago. He’d forgotten about it until now, and he wondered why she still wore it.

  Fragrant bubbles concealed the rest of her, but Chase had seen every beautiful curve before. Every lovely detail had been branded onto his brain. The soft fullness of her breasts, the deep hue of her nipples, the silky softness of her flesh. His hands had caressed every inch of her and his mouth had explored every delicate spot. He remembered the way she sighed when he pleasured her, the way she’d cried out his name when he brought her to peak—

  “What are you doing?”

  Lily’s voice jerked him from his improper reverie. Feeling like a lecher, Chase quickly averted his eyes. “I just…” His words trailed when his eyes were once again drawn to her. His brain told him to look away, but his eyes refused.

  Grabbing a towel from the rack, Lily covered herself as she stood, then wrapped it around her. Bubbles slid down wet flesh. The scents of vanilla and lavender swirled inside his head, drugging him like some powerful narcotic.

  “You just what?” she snapped. “Is something wrong?” Never taking her eyes from his, she stepped from the tub. Holding the towel to her breast she jerked her clothes from the vanity. “Chase, you’re frightening me.”

  Realizing she’d misunderstood his transfixion, he put up his hands. “I’m sorry. We’re safe. It’s just that I saw you and…” Not knowing how to finish the sentence without admitting something he did not want to admit, he turned away and left the bathroom.