by J. M. Snyder
“Thinking is not a bad thing, Jojo. You’re actually very good at it.”
“How about I go put on some glam and you fuck me instead?” I made to get up, but Cooper held me fast.
“I never thought I’d say this, but things can’t be solved with sex.” He groaned. “Though, God, I’d love to do exactly that. But we can save that for later. How about you talk to me now?”
“About what?” Maybe if I acted dumb, he’d let it go.
“About whatever it is you’re ‘not thinking’?”
I turned to give him a scowl. “You could be fucking me instead.”
“Jonah. Baby. Please.” He sounded so serious. “Don’t make this any harder than it already is. You know I can’t resist you. But I made the mistake of not talking to you three years ago. I’m not doing it again.”
The earnestness took me off guard. I turned in his embrace so I could really look at him, and almost gasped. I thought I knew Cooper well, but I’d never seen that look on his face. It was more than nerves. It was fear, plain and simple. This man had walked into battle countless times, but sitting here on the couch with me, he was scared of what I might do or say.
To know I had that kind of power over him settled something in me. For a heartbeat, I knew I could crush him and walk away, pay him back for all the pain he’d inflicted on me. But just as quickly, I knew I never would. He’d laid everything on the line when he’d come here, and he’d tattooed my name on his chest.
He still loved me.
And in that moment, I realized that not only did I love him, too, but that I was willing to give him that second chance he wanted so badly.
The second chance we both deserved.
Chapter 8
“What happens next?”
My voice sounded a little childlike, but I didn’t care. I was about to lay my heart on the line with this man—again—and even though he had made it clear he didn’t want to hurt me, it was still a possibility. I could admit it, at least to myself. I was scared.
“What do you mean?” Cooper shifted so we were full on facing each other. I wanted to be back in his embrace. It would be easier to have this conversation not looking at him. But it was time to stop hiding. I reached for his hands, and Cooper quickly gave them to me. I threaded our fingers together, and he immediately started rubbing soothingly with his thumbs.
“I mean…” I had to take a deep breath, then force out the words. “When you go back on duty—if you’re deployed again—I have to know what’s going to happen, Captain.” I gave him a small quirk of a smile.
Cooper blinked for a long moment. I wasn’t sure what his expression meant. He looked sort of surprised, maybe. Waiting for him to speak was excruciating, but I resolutely remained silent. When he finally did open his mouth, his voice was low and careful.
“Jonah. Baby, I’m out.”
My whole body jerked. I must have misunderstood. “What?”
“You heard me.” He smiled.
“I don’t think I did.” I couldn’t have. He was a lifer, and barely thirty-nine. He had plenty of years left in him, and I was sure the Army would be happy to have him until he had to retire.
“You did,” he assured me. Using our joined hands, he tugged me until I was practically sitting in his lap. “I’m out. I resigned my commission. Twenty years in, and I’m ready for the next phase of my life.”
“I…um…what?” My brain was not working. Completely offline.
Cooper chuckled. He let go of one of my hands, and cupped my cheek. He swept his thumb along my jawline, then titled my head until our gazes met. “And in case it isn’t clear, that next phase of my life is you. I have skills. I can find a job. I’m not worried about that. But the important part of the equation is you. Earning back your trust. Loving you. Building a life with you.”
“Adrian.”
“Don’t say ‘no.’” Cooper blinked, then shook his head. “I mean, of course, if that’s not what you want…But it is, isn’t it? You and me and the life we should have had. Will have. If you want it. With me.”
The rambling was kind of cute. My big-bad, tough-as-nails Army captain, bumbling his way through his declaration. Endearing, even. My heart thawed more, the last pieces of ice melting completely.
I threw myself at him, and he caught me easily, holding me tightly. I sighed and settled in. I’d always felt safe and protected in his arms, and that hadn’t changed. Things had gone sideways for us, no doubt about that. But we’d found our way back to each other. And now, we could move forward and rebuild.
Pulling back just far enough so I could see Cooper’s face, I gave him a soft smile.
“I love you. I always have. And even if you hadn’t come back, a part of me always would.” I traced his eyebrow with one finger. I did love his face. “We have work to do, I think. It’d be stupid if we both said everything was going to be perfect. We have stuff to work on. But I love you. And I want a future with you.”
Relief flooded his features, and he moved lightning fast to cup my face and kiss me hard. He devoured me and I let him, relaxing into it and letting him command and dominate. When he finally pulled back, my lips felt bruised and I could barely breathe. I loved it.
“You’re mine, baby. Always have been. And I love you with everything I am. We’ll work it all out. We’ll talk and fight and fuck and love, and spend the rest of our lives together. Relationships are constantly evolving, right?”
“Right,” I agreed with a content sigh. We were on the same page, and that made all the difference.
“Good. There’s some stuff I have to finalize with the Army, but I’m done. I don’t have to go back.” He looked at me expectantly, hope shining in his deep brown eyes. “I have to find a place to live.”
I pursed my lips. “Well,” I said slowly. “I do have a spare bedroom.”
He growled playfully and powered me down on the couch. He covered my body with his, and I sighed happily as I took his weight. Cooper pulled my hands over my head before pinning them to the cushion with his strong grip.
“Okay, okay!” I chortled and wiggled, then gasped as my hip rubbed against his groin. He was getting hard. “Just because we’re working things out doesn’t mean you can’t sleep in my bed.”
“Good.” Cooper used his nose to tilt back my chin, then latched onto a tender spot of my neck. I shuddered and groaned, and his satisfied chuckle reverberated through my skin. He kissed and licked for a moment, and when he lifted his head, I whined at the loss.
“I love you, Jonah.”
“And I love you.”
Cooper gathered me to him and held me close. I rubbed the back of his head, holding him just as tightly. We’d get to the sex eventually. This moment, right here, reaffirming our feelings and being close? That was way more important.
He’d hurt me three years ago, and it would take time to completely recover from that. But the essential thing right now was that we loved each other and we were getting our second chance at happiness.
I guess Ellie had done the right thing by sending Cooper in her place. It was amazing what being trapped together could do for two people. I’d have to remember to thank her.
Epilogue
I couldn’t help pacing as I waited for Cooper to get home. He was late, but that wasn’t unusual. In the past two years, I’d learned to expect it. Working security wasn’t always an eight-hour job, and since Josef’s House was a shelter for at-risk LGBT youth, Cooper was always needed. His boss was wonderfully accommodating, but Cooper took his job seriously. He knew what he did was important.
Today, though, I wished Cooper had been a little more anxious to get home. I’d been planning this for weeks, and I knew there was a chance Cooper wouldn’t have adhered to my mental time table. I could have told him I’d been planning something, and he would have come home on time, but that would have ruined the surprise.
Things hadn’t been perfect between us. There’d been a lot of relearning and arguing as we figured out how to coexi
st again. There’d also been a lot of loving and fucking. And slowly but surely, we’d found our way together, past the hurt and distrust, into a really wonderful place. We were better together than we’d ever been, and two years after we’d been snowed in, it was time to make things permanent.
I’d gone with a bronze smoky eye, because Cooper loved the way that looked on me. Dramatic lashes that weren’t too over the top. Tons of highlight so I looked like I was glowing. The bright red lip didn’t exactly match, but again, it was Cooper’s favorite. I’d checked my makeup about a thousand times since I’d finished applying it, but my setting spray was good and I still looked perfect.
As long as I didn’t sweat and ruin the whole thing.
Finally, I heard his truck in the driveway. Relief flooded through me, to be instantly replaced by nerves. The house smelled like chicken Florentine. I was wearing a dark blue silk dress shirt and—one last check—my makeup looked perfect. As the door opened, I dropped to one knee.
“Hey, baby, I’m home!” He called as he shrugged out of his snow-dampened outerwear. He hung up his jacket and kicked off his boots. “Something smells…great…”
His words trailed off as he saw me. I posed and tilted my head so he could get the full effect of the makeup, then I held up the ring box. The platinum band held a miner cut diamond and would look stunning on his big, strong finger.
“Jonah?” he whispered.
“I love you, Adrian. You’re mine. I’m yours. We’ve proved that we can work through anything. Marry me?”
He hadn’t lost his military-honed reflexes, because one second he was at the door and the next he was on his knees in front of me. Cooper had tears in his eyes, but a huge smile on his face.
“Yes.”
Shawn and Logan by Sarah Hadley Brook
Chapter 1
Shawn
“Please hurry, Daddy! He could die!”
The high-pitched wails of despair originating from the back seat had been assaulting his ears for at least ten minutes, and if Shawn hit one more damn red light he was going to lose what little patience he had left. “Don’t scream, honey. You’ll scare Charlie.” His calm voice belied his own worry, though.
“But he could die,” she insisted. Again.
Please don’t die, he begged silently. God, if Charlie didn’t make it…he didn’t even want to think about the prospect.
“Daddy! It’s green.”
He could almost feel her eyes rolling behind him. Wasn’t six a little young to have that kind of attitude about parents? He sighed deeply as he pressed the gas and finally—finally—turned left onto 75th Street. Their destination finally in sight, the tightness in his chest began to subside. Surely they would know what to do. They probably handled this kind of thing all the time. He glanced at the sky, sending another quick prayer to whatever Supreme Being might be in charge of small miracles for the day, and blew out a hard breath.
He was able to pull right up to the door, as the parking lot was nearly empty. Not the usual thing for a late Friday afternoon, but the gray clouds were threatening the area with more snow than they’d seen all year. Other people were smart—they were home, under a blanket, preferably sipping hot cocoa.
Shit. When had he become a Hallmark dad? Friday nights used to be made for partying, throwing back a few beers, hooking up…now it was all Disney movies and smoothies and pink ponies with rainbow tails. And Charlie. He scrubbed his hand over his face, the cold air biting at his skin as soon as he turned off the engine and opened the door. He jumped out and turned to help just as the back passenger door flung open and his daughter flew by in a streak of orange. “Come on, Daddy!”
Shawn pushed the door closed and rushed to catch up with her. He was used to her running—his daughter had only two speeds: whirlwind or asleep—but he didn’t like her running in a parking lot, no matter how close they were to the entrance. He was going to sit her down and have another talk with her about being aware of her surroundings. She was incredibly impulsive and had a one-track mind. Now wasn’t the time, though. He held open the door and gestured for her to go inside.
“Walk, Clem. No running,” he reminded her.
She sniffled as she nodded solemnly, cradling the shoebox to her chest.
“Can I help you?”
God, I hope so. Shawn nodded at the woman seated behind the counter, noting her playful red and white Minnie Mouse scrub top with “Andrea” stitched in black on the upper left section. She flipped her long black braid off her shoulder and smiled down at his daughter, wrinkles crinkling around her eyes and mouth. The compassion in her warm brown eyes gave her a youthful appearance. The too-bright pink lipstick looked a little out of place, but he wasn’t going to judge.
“We don’t have an appointment, but—”
“It’s Charlie. He’s dying!” His daughter raised the green and white box and blinked back the tears in her pale blue eyes.
He squatted next to her and brushed a wayward white-blonde curl behind her ear. “Honey, we don’t know that. Let’s let the doctor have a look at him.”
“That’s right. You come on back and Dr. Copeland will have a looksee, okay?”
He caught Andrea’s gaze and nodded. She was probably used to these situations, but he certainly wasn’t, and he was glad to have someone lead him through this. Shit, if he had to bury Charlie less than two months after he’d arrived…well, “worst Christmas present ever” ran through his mind, quickly followed by “worst gift-giver. #DadFail.” He sent up another prayer, promising if Charlie made it, he’d never complain about cleaning his cage again. Anything to not traumatize Clem.
He stood at the counter and quickly filled out some basic information—name, address, pet information—before they followed Andrea through a door and into a small room to the right. Judging by the size of the metal exam table, Shawn assumed this was where they saw the smaller animals. He reached for the box from his daughter and set it on the small table. She flopped into the plastic orange chair in the corner and folded her arms, her gaze sweeping the room. When she spied a Highlights magazine on the counter across from them, her eyes lit up and she bounced over, mind already zeroed in on that.
He lifted the lid and snuck a glimpse at Charlie. He wasn’t moving, but that was par for the course. Charlie had to be the laziest hamster on the planet. He scoffed at his wheel, turned up his nose at the exercise ball, preferring to use it to nap, and he had no desire to be held or played with. But the furry little guy excelled at one thing—Charlie ate like he hadn’t seen food in weeks. Shawn tried to measure out his food, but he kept gaining weight. In fact, he’d become so “fluffy,” Shawn had removed the plastic tube Charlie occasionally crawled through because he kept getting stuck.
Hell, if that hadn’t given him nightmares, worrying his daughter would find Charlie trapped in the tube, eyes open and bulging, little tongue protruding. A chill ran through his spine as he replaced the lid. And yet, even with removing the dangerous tube from the cage, they’d still ended up at the vet, with Charlie’s life hanging in the balance. Apparently, hamster life was fraught with danger.
When Clem had come to Shawn, tears streaming down her cherubic face, and told him that Charlie had a large lump on him, he’d worried. One look at the hamster and that worry had bloomed into full-blown panic. He scooped him into a shoebox and they’d rushed to the vet, snow warnings be damned.
While his daughter lost herself in the magazine, he began to wonder what he’d do if the hamster died. Despite the fact this particular pet did nothing other than eat, his daughter loved him with all her heart. What if he wasn’t dying, and he just needed surgery? Did they even operate on hamsters? How expensive would that be? God, if they charge by the pound, Charlie would probably require the most expensive hamster surgery ever. There was a pet store just around the block…No, no, he couldn’t just replace Charlie…could he? Fuck, sometimes adulting sucked.
The door on the other side of the room opened and Shawn nearly swallowed hi
s tongue. The man that stepped inside was hands-down the most gorgeous man he’d ever laid eyes on. Solidly built, with shoulders so broad, the teal fabric strained at the seams. Muscled thighs…oh, God, Shawn had a thing for strong thighs. Light brown hair, slightly tousled on top, fell across the man’s forehead. Strong Roman nose, square jaw covered in light stubble, full pink lips, and the most beautiful hazel eyes he’d ever seen. Hazel eyes that were staring at him with a hint of amusement.
Shit, he’d just been busted checking out the vet. Heat flooded his cheeks as he swallowed hard and tried to regain his dignity. Thank goodness his daughter was oblivious to his near-drool, jumping up from her chair and running over to join him, the magazine still firmly in her grip.
“Hi. I’m Dr. Copeland.” He eyed the box and glanced at the clipboard in his hand. “I hear you’re worried about someone named Charlie?”
Fuck. His baritone voice did things to Shawn’s body that he really shouldn’t notice. Not with a dying hamster and his daughter’s world possibly crashing down around them at any second.
“Yes.” Shawn’s voice cracked and he shook his head. Get it together. It had just been too long since he’d hooked up with anyone. Had to be why he felt like a hormonal teenager. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Yes. Clementine’s hamster.”
Dr. Copeland moved to the side of the table and lifted the lid. He started to stroke Charlie’s head.
“Um, he bites. Hard.” Shawn figured the man should be warned.
A smile spread across Dr. Copeland’s face and Shawn felt the heat down to his toes. He wanted to bask in it. Let it warm him top to bottom.
“He only bites you, Daddy,” Clementine pointed out, interrupting his thoughts.
A low chuckle came from the vet as he scooped up Charlie, holding him belly up. “Well, he certainly is…hefty,” he said, biting back a smirk.
Yeah. “Hefty”…code for “fat.”
