Story of Us

by Jody Holford

  It was silly to stay there when the only place she wanted to be was wherever Declan was. He said he’d swing by and grab her on his way home, but she knew seeing her bags packed would be a surprise. She was paid up until the end of February, so Megan had told her not to worry. She’d even offered the month of rent back.

  Curling up in the corner of the couch with What to Expect When You’re Expecting, she thought about how much she’d gained since she’d arrived home. Sure, things weren’t completely resolved with her family, but she had time. She’d blamed her family for so long, she’d let herself erect walls that made it impossible to see past her own needs and hurt. The baby would smooth the way, but Sophia intended to show her family she could be there, be part of them, and still be herself. She wasn’t entirely sure how yet, but knowing the walls on both sides had crumbled a little made her heart lighter. It made her more certain that they’d be okay.

  When someone knocked, Sophia assumed it was Declan. Seeing Marcus on her front porch was a surprise, but she was in such a good mood, she greeted him with a smile.

  “Hey. What are you doing here?” She stood to the side to let him in.

  His dark hair was a bit messy, like he’d run his hands through it too many times. He stepped in, looking around like he was expecting someone.

  “I’m watching out for you. Are you all right?” He turned to face her and examined her with far too much scrutiny.

  Laughing, unsure what his current issue was, she went to the fridge to grab some juice. “I’m fine. Are you? And tell me, big brother, why exactly are you watching out for me in my own place at this time of night?”

  “This isn’t a joke, Sophia. Dammit. When will you learn to take anything seriously?” Marcus asked, his voice low.

  Sophia slammed the fridge shut and grabbed a glass. “If it is a joke, I don’t get it, because I have no idea what you’re talking about or why you’re here.”

  Because he’d done nothing but irritate her so far, she skipped over the manners and didn’t offer him juice. Jerk. He could get his own juice.

  “It’s not just you anymore, Sophia. For years, you’ve just lived your life unaware of how you affect others. It’s time to stop. I get that we could have been more supportive, and we’re all working on it.”

  She raised an eyebrow.

  He had the decency to lower his gaze for a second. But when he met it again, his was intense. “Don’t do this. Don’t run. Declan is crazy about you. I didn’t realize it until the hospital, but he’s all in. You need to send this other guy away and focus on the future.”

  Irritation turned to curiosity, but the anger continued to build. “I’ll repeat, what are you talking about? And thanks very much for your blessing on Declan, but I don’t need your blessing or Dad’s. I’m tired of waiting around for everyone to approve my life choices, and I’m sorry if they make you unhappy. That’s never been my intention.”

  What guy? What the hell was her brother talking about? Marcus pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket and started tapping on it. Sophia swallowed down her juice even though she wanted to toss it in his face.

  “Who are you texting?”

  “Declan.”

  “Why?”

  He didn’t answer. Both of them turned their heads toward the door when someone knocked on it.

  Hoping Declan would provide some answers about why her brother’s boxers were twisted in knots, she pulled it open and nearly choked on her surprise.

  Keith stood on her stoop, looking ruffled and irritated. Still handsome—he was one of those guys who always seemed to look good. Unfortunately, underneath, he wasn’t at all attractive.

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  Marcus charged to the door.

  Keith looked at Marcus, then looked back at Sophia. “I’m here for you, honey. Who the hell is this? Just how many men are you stringing along?”

  Marcus edged her out of the way and folded his arms across his chest. “I’m her brother, asshole. Why don’t you turn around and go back to wherever you came from and forget Sophia’s name?”

  “Marcus!”

  “Jesus. Chill out, man.” He looked at Sophia like he was baffled. “You have a lot of guys defending your honor. It shouldn’t be this damn hard to see you, Sophia.”

  “Why are you here?” She ignored her brother.

  He gave her a smile she once thought charming. “For you. I was an idiot to let you go. I want you in my life. I want us back together.”

  Bile rose in her throat. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I am.” He grinned again and pulled an envelope from the inside pocket of his heavy jacket. “Thought we’d celebrate reuniting with a trip to Hawaii. You said you always wanted to go there. You know I love how you look in a bikini.” He glanced at her stomach as if he just remembered something.”

  “How did you know where I lived?”

  Again, the smile he gave her was one he thought guaranteed acquiescence. “Stopped by your parents. Older kid answered the door and told me.”

  “Goddammit,” Marcus growled.

  Keith barely spared him a glance. He stepped closer to Sophia. “You, uh…take care of your little problem?” His eyes went back to her stomach again.

  So many things registered at once. Marcus’s low growl, a door slamming, and Keith’s words. Her hands went immediately to her stomach as it twisted like a cyclone. What had she ever seen in this man?

  “You fucker,” Marcus said, pulling his arm back.

  “Marcus, no!”

  “Son of a bitch.” Declan’s voice appeared out of nowhere, and then he was thudding up the stairs and stopping Marcus from punching her ex.

  Sophia’s head spun. She grabbed the door handle and held tight, wondering if this was some twisted nightmare.

  “I told you to leave her alone,” Declan said, grabbing Keith by the scruff of his coat.

  “Let me pop him once. Just once,” Marcus said, cracking his knuckles.

  “Right, two on one, you could do anything, you sissy,” Keith spat back.

  Sophia found her voice but didn’t let go of the door. “Stop. Stop right now!”

  All three men turned at her yell. She stared at them and felt like she was the lead in the worst farce ever produced.

  “Marcus, you’re not hitting anyone. Declan, put him down. Keith. You can’t be serious. You’re married. And even if you weren’t, we’re over.”

  Marcus and Declan glared at her, but both men held their tongues. She didn’t fool herself into thinking they’d do it for long.

  “That’s all over. Kendell and I are getting a divorce. I’m here for you, Sophia. I was a fool. I love you, Sophia.”

  Both Marcus and Declan started to talk, but she held up a hand to silence them.

  “You never loved me. The only person you love is yourself. But I am glad you’re here.” She turned to Marcus but caught the hurt in Declan’s expression. She couldn’t focus on that right now. “How did you know he was coming here?” she asked her brother.

  Marcus glanced at Declan. Keith was all too happy to jump in. “I stopped by your work. He told me he wasn’t letting me anywhere near you, but I wasn’t leaving without seeing you.”

  “Swear to God, Sophia, I’m really close to tossing him over the balcony,” Declan said, his voice low, mean, and tainted with hurt she knew she’d caused.

  Sophia couldn’t even wrap her head around Keith being here, so she focused on the next piece tearing her apart. She looked at Declan, whose head was bent.

  “You knew he wanted to find me, and instead of calling me, talking to me, coming to me, you called Marcus?” Declan must have realized she was talking to him because his head popped up, and he met her gaze.

  “That’s right. I couldn’t be here to protect you from him right away, so I called your brother.”

  Anger and frustration blurred together to clog her throat. “Did it ever occur to you that I don’t need protection? That I can clean up my own me
sses and take care of myself?”

  “You don’t need to. I keep telling you that you’re not alone.”

  She tried to calm herself with slow breaths through her nose. “That doesn’t mean you get to be high-handed, Declan.”

  “We’re together, Sophe,” Declan said.

  “That does not give you the right to make my choices for me. You and Marcus need to go.”

  “Like hell,” Marcus said.

  “Go home, Marcus. You haven’t shown up when I wanted you here so I don’t need you now. I don’t need conditional protection or love or whatever you’re offering. I needed my big brother when I came home. I needed your strength and support, and you didn’t give either. So, I don’t want what you’re offering now. Go home.”

  Marcus opened his mouth to speak but shut it, hurt and something she didn’t recognize in his gaze. Regret? Good. About time. He turned, shoulder-checking Keith on his way past.

  Declan stared at Sophia. She couldn’t do this with him right now. When push came to shove, he was just like her family. He didn’t believe in her or them the way he said he did. If he did, if he truly believed his own words, he would have trusted her with the truth. He would have called her and damn well believed that she’d make the right choice. Maybe he wasn’t as sure about them as he claimed.

  “Sophia, I don’t want you alone with him,” Declan said.

  “She’s been alone with me plenty,” Keith said.

  “Shut up, Keith, or I’ll let him punch you just to watch. Go in. I’ll be a minute.”

  Keith shut up but also sent Declan a triumphant glare as he went into the house. Sophia pulled her door closed.

  “Sophia,” Declan began.

  She cut him off, her words hurried because she didn’t want to cry in front of him. “All of my life, I’ve had people trying to dictate what I should do, how I should feel, how I should behave. I took off ten years ago to escape that. When I came home, you supported me. Told me I had the right to be who I was and make my own choices. So how could you step on all of that and try to take the choice away from me when you know how much it matters?”

  “He’s a pariah. He’s trying to manipulate your feelings.”

  “You’re blind.” Sadness covered her like a cloak, blocking out the cold.

  “Excuse me?”

  “If you’d been paying any attention, you’d know I have no feelings for him. They’re all wrapped up in you. And what kind of fool am I that I not only take a chance on us when I’m four and half months pregnant, but I actually believe you when you say you want it all with me.”

  Declan crowded closer, his face scrunching up with anguish. “I do want it all with you. I love you.”

  Her heart clenched so tightly at his words that it tugged at her breath, making it impossible to inhale or exhale.

  “If that’s true,” she said, her voice shaking, “you should have trusted me to make the right choice. I need you to go.”

  “Sophia, don’t do this,” he said, reaching out for her.

  The first sob escaped, and she backed into the door. “Don’t touch me. I didn’t do this. You did. I don’t need any more men in my life who don’t believe in me. Who think I’m selfish.”

  “Sophia! I don’t think that. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. I’ve never told a woman I loved her. Ever.”

  She couldn’t be swayed by that. Not right now.

  “Then you’d have known I would have come to you. That I would have shared this burden with you, but instead, you tried to shield me from it when it wasn’t yours to do so. Because you didn’t think I’d do the right thing.”

  “Please,” Declan said.

  She shook her head and let herself in, locking the door behind her. Keith leaned against the counter, arrogance in his stance and expression.

  “Tiny place. How long you been shacked up here?”

  Sophia ignored his question and walked to the living room, picking up the file beside her computer. She pulled out a sheet of paper and brought it to the counter.

  “I’m still pregnant. I’m keeping the baby. I want you to sign away any rights. You’re not a good person. I was wrong about you, and I was wrong about us, but I plan on raising this baby with love and confidence. I’m going to give her or him everything they need and do what’s best for them. Not knowing you is best.”

  “Fuck.” He shoved his hands through his hair. “I thought you were getting rid of it.”

  She wanted to punch him. She wished she’d let Dec or Marcus take just one swing.

  “You get rid of things you don’t want, Keith. Trash. Garbage. Things that weigh you down and are unnecessary. That’s why I’m not with you. I take it you’ll sign?”

  He grabbed the paper from her hand, looked at the counter, picked up a pen, and scrawled his signature. He tossed both on the counter.

  “Waste of my goddamn time.”

  “Don’t come back. Ever.”

  He glared at her for one long, hard moment and then walked out, slamming the door.

  Sophia’s breath came out as a strangled sob, and she gripped the counter to keep herself upright. Her shoulders shook with her tears, and she felt like her body was detonating from the inside out, her heart at the epicenter of destruction. Swiping the tears from her face, she forced herself to the couch and curled back up in the corner. Everything had fallen apart, but she wouldn’t break.

  “I won’t,” she promised herself and the baby. “We’re going to be okay.”

  Normally, she didn’t lie to herself. But it was only a partial lie this time. She might never be okay again, but she’d do everything humanly possible to make sure the child she carried always would be.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Declan slammed into his house hard enough that windows rattled. What the hell had just happened? His phone rang, and he pulled it from his pocket, wanting it to be Sophia so badly he actually ached with need. It was Adam. No. He couldn’t talk right now. Right now, he wanted to tear something or someone apart.

  He kicked off his shoes. One of them bounced off a wall, leaving a scuff on the white paint. Storming into the kitchen, he grabbed a beer from the fridge, popped the top, and took a long swallow. It tasted flat and gross. He wasn’t in the mood.

  Why had she let Keith stay? She’d told him her feelings were all wrapped up in him, so what the hell did that mean? Why wasn’t he the one who’d stayed? Declan poured the rest of the beer down the drain and walked over to the wall of windows. The sun had set, but there were still traces of color in the sky. Red and orange bled into one another, distinct but united, their edges gripping each other.

  Why the fuck didn’t you hang on tighter? The first time in his life he’d ever wanted this and he’d not only screwed it up, he wasn’t entirely sure what had been the breaking point for her. He’d have a shower, go to bed. Start over. This couldn’t be it. He wouldn’t let it be.

  Taking the stairs two at a time, he was headed for his room when he stopped, turned, and opened the door to his Lego room. He stared around the space. What grown-ass man has a playroom, you idiot? How was she supposed to take him seriously when he acted like a damn child himself? Anger, at himself, at her ex, at her, at every-fucking-thing consumed him. Like a switch putting him on autopilot, he wasn’t even aware his feet moved. He slashed out with one hand, knocking the Millennium Falcon to the ground. It crashed to the floor and splintered into, literally, thousands of pieces.

  With his left hand, he knocked the Death Star, sending it flying to the same fate as the first. Pieces scattered around him, hours and hours of work, of time, lying on the floor of a bedroom he didn’t need. With his teeth ground together, he swept his hand along the shelf that held smaller creations. They tumbled to the ground like heavy raindrops bursting apart when they hit a solid surface.

  He wanted to rip the shelves from the wall. He started to, and movement behind him caught him off guard. He whipped around, hoping like hell it was someone he could take apart, take
out his fury on. It wasn’t. It was Adam.

  “Well, this is a mess,” his friend said in a perfectly calm voice. Dressed in a suit—a suit like that asshole ex of Sophia’s—he leaned on the doorframe.

  “Not a good time,” Declan bit out.

  “I can see that.”

  They stared at each other, and Declan was just about to tell him to get out, to go away. He didn’t want advice or to talk about his feelings. He wanted to leave fist marks on his walls and take the room apart shelf by shelf.

  “Was this the room Sophia wanted to make the baby room?”

  Declan’s chest seized. “Fuck off.”

  “No.”

  “I mean it, Adam. I’m not in the fucking mood.”

  He pushed out of the doorway and came into the room, carefully stepping over the scattered Lego. “I get that, man.”

  Opening the closet, Adam grabbed one of the boxes Declan stored in there. He turned and started scooping Lego into it.

  “Don’t clean it. Just leave it. It’s stupid. It doesn’t matter. Who the hell has this in their house? No wonder she didn’t want to live here.”

  Adam dropped the box and faced Dec. “She tell you that?”

  Declan clenched his jaw.

  “Did she tell you she wanted this stuff out to make room for her or the baby?”

  “No. You and Zach did, though. You guys were joking about it not that long ago.”

  Adam rolled his eyes. “So you’re wrecking everything because you can’t handle a couple of buddies razzing you?”

  Because he didn’t want to talk to or listen to his friend, he picked up the box and started shoving pieces inside.

  “Stupid. Stupid, thinking I could just take on a ready-made family. I’ve been with her less than six weeks, and that’s my longest relationship. I was fooling myself. This house, her, the baby. All of it. I should have stayed in my apartment over the bar. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  It would take endless hours to sort through all of the pieces he was mixing together, but he didn’t care. It just didn’t matter. Adam grabbed another box and resumed helping.